littleblackbow (littleblackbow) wrote in padfoot_prongs, @ 2008-10-06 08:17:00 |
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Entry tags: | fic, james, littleblackbow, sirius |
Title: Doing what's wrong.
Author: littleblackbow
Pairing: James/Sirius, mention of Sirius/Remus
Word Count: 1396
Rating: Hard R/NC-17
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, and I'm not making any money off of them. Please, don't try to print and sell this.
Author notes: UNbeta'd!! I'd love it if someone could give it a good once-over so I can fix and post elsewhere! :D ~Thanks
"I thought I'd find you up here. You were avoiding us at dinner," Sirius said as he rounded the corner in the Owlry. James had this thing about flying. They all knew it. If he wasn't up on his broom when he was brooding, he would be up here with the owls.
"Wasn't," James said, leaning over the edge of the stone railing on the terrace. "Just wasn't hungry."
"Well you missed a good one. Peter came up with his new girlfriend - you know, Mary? Anyway, so they were all cuddling and stuff, so then Remus was sitting next to me, so I scooted over into his lap and planted a wet one right on his mouth right there in front of her. You should have seen the look on her face! Anyway, then Peter--"
James waved his hand and stalked away from Sirius. He didn't want to hear this. Didn't want to hear any of it. Actually, this was precisely why he wasn't interested in sitting with them at dinner tonight.
Ever since the last summer when Sirius had come to live with him, things had been weird between them. James started dating Lily as soon as he came back to Hogwarts in an attempt to fix this awful feeling; but every time he saw Sirius flirting with some other guy, it just drove him fucking nuts.
"Hey, wait a minute," Sirius called after James. His strides were longer than the other guy's and he easily caught up with and passed him. As they started down the stairs, Sirius stood in James' way and put his arms out from one side of the staircase to the other. "Okay, you do not normally walk out on me like that. What the hell is wrong with you, James Potter?"
This was it. Or at least, it could be. James felt it. He knew it better than anyone. His life with Sirius was filled with these sort of moments where he was forced to make some sort of decision or another. And it always seemed to be something dramatic, something dire, and something that could either give him everything he'd ever wanted, or destroy everything he'd worked for until now.
That's how Sirius was. That's why Sirius was so fucking attractive to every single person in this school.
Still, James wasn't the drama whore that Sirius was. At least, not to the same extent. He gritted his teeth and took a deep breath. "It's none of your business," he lied.
"Fuck that. You know damn well it's my business. If you're gonna be treating me this way, I want to know why my best friend is avoiding me!"
James knew that Sirius was as stubborn as an ox and would keep pushing this issue until he got at the truth. He could see it in the man's eyes. "Fine," James said through gritted teeth, taking one step closer down the stairs. "You want to know?"
He couldn't say it, of course. Real men didn't say things like that. Not even to their girlfriends. He couldn't even think of how to put it into words if he had to. After all, this kind of confusion wasn't something that anyone at this age would fantasize about. There was no contingency plan when you were confronted with your best friend and somehow had to get the point across that not only were you okay with him being gay, but more than anything else in the word, you wanted him to fuck you.
For a long moment, James just stood there, one step above Sirius, looking directly down into his face. If he was going to do this, it had to be right now.
And it had to be something from which he could recover if he had to. In one move, he slid his arms around Sirius' waist and pressed his mouth against the man's neck. He knew what felt good on himself, and just figured that it would work on Sirius, as well.
Turning him halfway around, James pushed Sirius up against the wall and moved down onto the same step. "This is what's wrong," he whispered, raking his mouth up Sirius' neck. the light stubble from the day scratched his lips, but it felt amazing, and the smell of Sirius' skin and hair was intoxicating. "It's very, very wrong." He took Sirius' earlobe into his mouth and bit down lightly.
At least, the reaction he got from Sirius was worth the risk. The man seemed to be simply melting in his arms. At first, he felt Sirius stiffen in shock, but then when he sucked in that deep breath through his teeth and placed a shaking hand against the small of James' back, he knew that things would be okay one way or another.
"James," Sirius whispered. "Oh, fuck... James. Don't... don't do this if you're just joking with me. You have to want it. I mean, really want it!"
James ground his erection against Sirius' leg. "Feels like I want it," he whispered, trailing his lips along Sirius' jawline. They stood still for a moment, just looking into each other's eyes - bright hazel gazing into those shiny grey eyes. Then, in a move that seemed almost rehearsed, they each tilted their heads and kissed.
If there was ever a kiss that felt like music to James, it was this one. So different from any of the girls he'd kissed, Sirius' mouth was hard, but gentle. They both understood the natural progression of lips, to tongue, to that amazing full-mouth kiss where their mouths were completely sealed together.
And what he was doing with his hands felt absolutely incredible. Sirius' hand slid down from the small of his back, cupping James' buttock, and then moving inbetween his legs further. He was being touched in places that had never been touched like that before, and it felt so fucking good, James could feel his cock weeping pre-come in his pants.
Desperate for more, James pulled his robe aside, unbuttoned and unzipped his fly, and pulled his cock free of the constraints. Sirius' hand was there, waiting for him when he was out and exposed.
"Fuck, James," Sirius moaned as his hand slid along the shaft. "God, I wanted you so bad. I thought there was no way..."
James fumbled with Sirius' trousers, but finally got them open and found his prize. "It's so wrong," James said softly. "Still, most of what you and I do together is wrong."
That crafty smile snuck across Sirius' face. "Yeah, it is, isn't it?"
"You gotta teach me how to fuck like this," James said, stroking Sirius harder. "I don't know anything about getting buggered by another bloke. "
"Fuck... you want me to fuck you? God, James, just the thought of that makes me wanna..."
James leaned in and sucked on Sirius' neck. "We should move someplace private."
"Yeah. I can just see Regulus coming up here to send an owl off or something."
"Or Peter."
Sirius chuckled. "Well, that wouldn't be too bad. You really ought have seen the look on his face."
James squeezed hard on Sirius cock. "I'd rather see a certain look on your face."
Sirius hissed in approval at that thought. The two of them released each other at the same time, and hastily tucked themselves away again. "Apparate?" James asked. "To the boathouse."
"I've got to stop and pick up something we'll need," Sirius said, kissing James' neck.
"Fine, then. Five minutes?"
"Yeah."
James stole one more kiss, then took a step back and apparated away.
Sirius leaned back against the stone wall and took a deep breath. Five minutes. In five minutes, he could have everything he'd fantasized about.
Or he could do the "right thing" and send a house elf with a note for James.
He raced down to the main building, then over to Gryffindor tower. When he got to their shared room, he opened his desk drawer. There was the parchment, lying right there.
It was the right thing to do.
Sirius reached into the drawer and pulled out a small vial of oil, then apparated away.
What could he do? This was James and Sirius. Sirius and James. The crowned kings of bad choices. All he could hope was that this time, it would turn out good.