Natasha Romanoff (justlykbudapest) wrote in onewaythreads, @ 2017-09-19 19:38:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, bucky barnes, natasha romanoff |
WHO: Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanoff
WHERE: Centurion Square
WHEN: Backdated to 9/13
WHAT: They have a shared history they haven’t told anyone about.
WARNINGS: Mentions of HYDRA-related training.
STATUS: Closed/Complete
Natasha was already near the meeting point she'd picked for her and Bucky, and used the time before his arrival to get something warm to drink. Dressed casually in black jeans and a dark green v-neck, she sipped her coffee while leaning against a tree. Jade eyes examined her surroundings as people passed by in the square, but she'd deliberately chosen a spot that didn't get a lot of foot traffic, so that their conversation could be private, and any potential fallout would be minimal. She was armed, of course, though not visibly. Gun tucked into the back of her jeans, hidden by her shirt's hem, two knives and a second gun tucked into her boots, and electromagnetic discs in her pockets, deactivated for now but ready to be used at a moment's notice, just in case. He wouldn't have expected her to be unarmed. She wasn't stupid. He wasn't unarmed either. He had a knife and a gun as well, though usually his arm was enough of a weapon for anyone--but he knew Natasha well enough to bring extra. It was a compliment really. He still wore long sleeves and a glove, it was hard to say if that was habit or something else. He had a hood up as he walked over, he was just more comfortable in hiding. "We walking or sitting?" He asked casually. She'd spotted him before he approached, recognizing his build, but you wouldn't know it to look at her. Nat remained in her casual position until he reached her, and took another sip of coffee before she answered his question. "We can sit for now," she answered, and headed over to a nearby bench to sit at one end. "You don't want to be walking in case I pull something." He pointed out then because in the end he knew she didn't trust him. She hadn't helped them out to help him, she had done it for Steve and he knew that. He was fine with it. He wasn't exactly made for friends where as Steve was. Though he had been told he used to be the more charismatic one. He followed her though and sat down easily with a bit of distance between them. "I remember a lot of it, if that's what you want to know still, a lot of it is fuzzy though, like trying to remember a dream after you woke up." "Easier to see people walking up or trying to listen, instead of having to modulate the conversation on the move," came her easy reply. She'd done it to help Steve, sure, but with Bucky...she felt a kinship she didn't feel with the other Avengers. She knew better than any of them what he'd gone through, and vice versa. She hadn't told the others and still wasn't sure she would, to be honest. "A lot of what, exactly?" Specifically she wondered how much of their own past he remembered, or if it was just recent events. "Liar. Answer is both." he was sure she was leery of him too. He couldn't help but smile a bit at it though since he knew he was the same. He couldn't assume anything was going to go one way or another. He had to plan for all possibilities. He paused for that, ran his tongue over his bottom lip. "Of everything." He said finally and honestly. "Of HYDRA." "I never said you were wrong." She gave a faint smile in return, but it faded as they returned to the conversation at hand. "HYDRA, Division X, the Red Room?" Natasha said the names quietly despite no one being around, just to confirm precisely what he meant. After the confirmation, the redhead looked away, staring across the square as she lifted her paper cup for another, longer drink. "I never told Steve. Or - anyone." He couldn't help but to exhale at that, a deep exhale that felt like it deflated all of him and not just his lungs. "The Widow Program." He added then to the list of names and programs she was saying. "I didn't tell him either, then again didn't really have the time." He hadn't really had time to talk and remember during any of the time he had with Steve. It was mostly spent fighting each other or fighting Tony. She swallowed hard, still not looking at him, but gave a nod when he mentioned the last one. "I've tracked down a lot of the Division X and Red Room people over the years. They're gone now." She'd managed that tiny bit of justice, at least, if little else. Both of her hands shifted to wrap around the cup, and her hair fell across her face a bit as she looked down. "Are you planning on talking to him about it?" "Do you want me to, or not to?" Because he didn't know if he was supposed to tell him or not. He wasn't exactly big on sharing things after all. "Am I on your list of people that need to be gone?" He asked carefully. He had been involved after all. He'd trained the girls. He'd had something to do with it all. If Nat had gone after all of the people involved--was he next? "That's your choice." Her shoulders lifted in a shrug, and she looked over at him, studying his profile. She'd lived several lifetimes since her training with him, and now that he remembered all that - it was strange to consider. At the question, Natasha's lips curved in a faint smile. "If you were, you'd know." But he wasn't. Bucky had been used as much as - if not more than - she had, and she knew it. "None of what you did was anymore by choice than what I did." "I'm not sure yet." He wasn't really one to share, "Not unless he asks, I won't lie to him, but that's different than not telling him." He wasn't sure what would lead him to ask, but he was fine with it being their secret. "Before you say anything you might not want to I'll tell you I don't remember it all." In case she didn't want to tell him something, in case she didn't want him to remember certain things she didn't have to give them away. "I remember you more than the others." The other girls. He remembered her more, and he remembered more the more he looked at her. "If he asks me about it after, I won't lie to him either...but I'm not planning on talking about it otherwise." She'd managed to keep their past from Steve so far, and she wasn't really the type to talk a lot about her past. She'd come close, with Bruce, and Wanda had touched on a few memories with her powers a year earlier, but most of it was her own at least. There was a pause as she considered what he said, followed by a half shrug. "Well. I've heard that I'm fairly memorable in bed." Lifting the cup, she drained the contents, then glanced back at him. It was his own memories really, so she didn't have a problem discussing it with him - not now, at least. She just hadn't been sure what he was remembering previously. "Plus, I was top of the class. That has to count for something, probably." Oh he smiled for that. He couldn't help it. "Well--like I said, details are fuzzy." Because he wasn't about to talk about all that, not right then and there, not when so many other things felt important. "I remember that we needed each other." He remembered talking, cuddling, some of the rest of it, but he remembered her face, and he didn't remember the other's faces. "Steve is going to want to be whatever we were, as if this place erases everything. I don't know how to explain to him that HYDRA doesn't just go away like a bad dream." And she was maybe the only other person in the world that would understand how true that was. "The details aren't important," she pointed out. Especially not now, after so many decades had past. The fact that he remembered at all meant something - what, she wasn't sure, but at least she wasn't the only one with those memories, as mixed as they are with all the training she went through, and the slight holes she had here and there. "I know, but I think he'll ease off a little. It may take some time," Natasha said. "You're right that he doesn't understand - you'll have to give him time. And you can always tell him you need to take a walk for some air if he gets too pushy." She shrugged, absently crushing the cup she held. "Or track me down for a spar. You know I won't pull my punches." "Yet the shit details come back in full force." Where as the good details didn't. Then again HYDRA hadn't wanted to leave the good ones. They wanted Bucky to remember his kills and count them like trophies, to learn, and grow from them. They didn't want him to remember the faces of the girls he got to know and then sent out into the world as killers. Another look toward her, an interested and softer look. "You spar when you're overwhelmed too then I take it?" Because he did. The best place for him when he couldn't think was the gym. Even just running helped. "And I know you won't." Pull her punches, "You have at least two guns, a few knives, and something else I'm not sure yet on you right now." She nodded her agreement at that, unable to find any kind of argument for it. Returning the look, Natasha met his eyes, then nodded a second time. "Yes. Sometimes I swim, otherwise it's sparring, or running. Work off the energy," and keep from thinking too hard. Other times, when she was locked the faces away, and the memories, Natasha would meditate, or use yoga to help her focus. Her lips curved again at his assessment, one eyebrow arching. "A girl has to have some secrets." Meaning she wasn't going to tell him unless need necessitated it. Sizing up targets was what he did. He did it without thinking really. It was just natural instinct to want to know where all threats were. "What's this whole thing with Stark not knowing what was going on before we came here?" He had no idea how it all worked. He knew Tony said he was from quite awhile before, but he also wasn't sure how he felt about that. He might have been impossible himself, a man who survived falling from a train and 100 years of working for HYDRA, but he still didn't like the idea of Tony not knowing what happened and felt it could all be a set up. 'You don't think he's up to something--do you?" Stretching out her legs, Natasha relaxed on the bench, one arm leaning over the back of it as she shifted so she was facing him. Anyone who looked would never know that she was ready to jump up in a heartbeat if she needed to, unless they were Bucky. "I spoke to him the other day. He's not up to anything." She hesitated a moment because what she was about to say wasn't all that believable, but she pushed on. "A source I spoke to told me that people can show up here from different points in time. He isn't the only arrival who's shown up from different years." One shoulder lifted and dropped in a shrug. "I can't explain it, but apparently Preya exists somewhere outside of the time we're familiar with." Monsters and magic all over again, apparently. "Are we sure it's different times and not different dimensions?" Oh yea, he believed it. He had seen more than enough impossible things in his life to believe that the impossible was more real than the possible at times. He shifted his hood a bit as it had started to come down. He was most comfortable when hiding in his clothes verses being out there in the open. A life of hiding would do that to a person. "The doctor--Banner I think? He's from before the Avenger's split too." Because he'd figured that out from glancing around at things and how people spoke. "If Tony finds out it's all going to happen all over again--you know that right?" "My theory is that it's both," she replied, glancing at him again. Idly, she shifted her eyes back to the dimly lit park, and watched a couple walking hand in hand on the other side for a few minutes. "Bruce Banner," she confirmed, and nodded. "I do know that, and I'm hoping it doesn't come to that. It's a potential powder keg that we don't need." She sighed and ran her free hand through her hair, eyes still on the couple for now, then let it drop back behind the top of the bench. "I'll stay close to the situation," even though she wasn't so sure she wanted to. "I take it he'd side with Tony then?" Since everyone else there, him, Steve, Natasha, Wanda--they were all more likely to try to keep him and Tony apart than to try to let Tony kill him, so he put together that if Banner was part of the powder keg than he was probably team Stark. "The guy wants me to go see him for a medical work up or something--doesn't seem like the best idea to me." Because he hated doctors--and he hated new people getting close to what made him, him. "That's...a possibility, but he's most likely to attempt to remain neutral. Particularly if he gets to know you, builds an emotional bond." Though she knew that it wouldn't keep Bruce from running away, he wouldn't hurt anyone he cared about. He couldn't. Looking over at Bucky, Natasha nodded. "He told me about that. He thinks if I go, it'll spook you." Her lips quirked slightly. "I'll be nearby, in case you need to be subdued." Aside from Steve, she was possibly the only one who could manage it in case something actually happened. The hand that was over the bench shifted, and she leaned over just a little, brushing his shoulder. "I trust him, James. You can trust him, too. If he can help, you can trust him." "So I should get to know him so he doesn't go Team Stark on us?" He threw back as if they were planning a mission and not trying to get him to make friends with someone he could actually get along with. He snorted a laugh at that, but he knew it was true. She could distract him for sure, and from there he'd probably come back down to earth just from remembering her. He looked at her hand as it touched him and then back at her face. "I'm not worried about anything but the doctor thing really--I never got along with doctors really--and then HYDRA..." The doctors that took his arm, that strapped him in to be electrocuted, that saved his life and tortured him, that froze him--He reached for her hand hand, taking it in his and running his thumb over the back of her hand. "Affirmative," she tossed back, giving him an easy grin. "He'd be a good ally, and friend. I know that from experience." And in the year since Bruce had left, she'd moved on from the feelings he'd stirred up. They wouldn't get in the way again. "Trust me, I don't like doctors anymore than you, but he's more of a PhD instead of an M.D. He won't use you, and he won't give you anything that you don't agree to and that would hurt you." Natasha was actually a little surprised at the touch, but it didn't show in her eyes as she glanced at his thumb. "Like I said, I'll stay nearby just in case. For both your sakes." She knew what it was like not to trust yourself, and both men had that same experience. "Look at us, building teams and missions already." They really would be a force to be reckoned with. Without Steve's moral compass he was pretty sure he and Natasha could pull off any job thrown their way, though people might not like how they did it as much. He didn't touch a lot--but Natasha was someone he remembered touching, he remembered the way she smelled actually. They said smell was the sense most tied to memory and he was finding that to be true. "Like my guardian angel then? Just one ready to punch me if need be?" "It's what we do." She gave a half shrug, though he was right. "Speaking of, I'm joining the local police force next week. As a detective. I have a contact on the force and she's going to fast track me through the program." One might say Nat worked fast - and they'd be right. Her grin at his words was positively wicked. "Close, but I'm no angel. And I'm always ready to punch someone if needed." Her hand shifted slightly in his so that she could grip it and give a small squeeze. This contact was the opposite of their last physical contact, when he'd been turned on by that trigger and had been trying to kill her and the others - but she didn't really count that. This was a lot nicer, almost a throwback to decades ago, and she was trying to ignore how strange that was. "Is there much crime here?" He asked curiously. He figured it was possible considering all the lives people had led that might push them into coming to a place like this, but it seemed most people were trying to get away from their old lives, not go back to that kind of nonsense. He turned on the bench some so one leg was on it bend and laying there and he as fully facing her. He looked at their hands and seemed contented by them really. "You're a good person Natalia." Natasha, he messed it up sometimes when he was thinking of her more as the girl he'd known back then verses the woman she was now. "Some that's pretty basic, but she tossed an interesting case my way that I'm looking into. It involves vampires, if you can believe that." She trusted Selene as much as she trusted anyone who wasn't Steve Rogers, but she believed her as well. This wasn't a story someone would make up, even if they were probe to making up stories...and Selene wasn't like that. One eyebrow arched again at his words, but she didn't try to tug her hand away. "No, I'm not. But thank you for saying so." She rarely heard someone call her Natalia - none of the Avengers ever had, and they were the closest things to family that she had these days, and it had been a very long time since he had done that. "Have you thought about what you want to do here, James?" "I'm pretty sure I'll believe anything lately." He threw back a bit lighthearted, more lighthearted than he normally was at least. He did like the sound of her being on the police force though. It sounded like her, like something she'd be good at. And no one called him James really but her. Steve introduced him as Bucky even, but he wasn't sure that was who he was and so he liked that she called him his given name. He shrugged slightly at the question. "Not really. Not good at much but shooting and chasing people. Pretty okay at mechanics but that's just because I had to fix myself enough times." "It's an unsolved murder, and my source is fairly certain vampires are the culprit. I'll be looking into it." She liked this - talking about semi-normal things, and not trying to kill one another. In fact, Natasha was thinking she might like this just a little too much, but that didn't mean she was going to stop anytime soon. "You could always join the police too," she said with a small smile. "Or look into being a mechanic. Or do nothing at all, but I think you'd get bored with that." "You have crime scene pictures?" He asked without thinking. He'd staged enough crime scenes to know what one should look like and when one was staged. He couldn't imagine there were that many vampires on the island (god did he just have a serious thought about vampire populations?), so if it was a vampire it shouldn't have been that hard to figure out. Oh that got a snort of a laugh "Me? The Winter Soldier? Working as a cop?" He had a list of charges against him as tall as himself. Silently, Natasha set her crushed cup down on the ground by her boot, then pulled her cell phone out of her pocket with one hand, the other still resting in his. She typed in a quick password and pulled up the file, then opened the pictures and handed the phone to him so he could take a look. “You’re talking to a master assassin and spy who’s been branded a traitor to two different countries and is currently a fugitive, just like you. They’re very adamant about second chances here, so if I can do it, why can’t you?” “I’m wanted in a lot more than two.” He pointed out regarding countries, but that was also a null and void point in a place like this. He looked over the file she had on her phone, scrolling through a few things. “Lot of blood for a vampire attack. All the vampires I’ve heard of drink it rather than throw it around--then again I only know them from movies.” And he hadn’t even seen a lot of those. He passed the phone back to her with his free hand, still not really letting go of her even if his grip was passive at that point. “You need help, I’ll help, but I’m not sure if full fledged police officer is really my future--I don’t think I’ll be good at holding back if someone started with me.” But maybe he was actually thinking about it. He’d have to find out who Natasha’s contact with the police was though and feel it out. “She believes it may be a...fledgling, for that very reason,” Natasha replied as she took the phone back and locked it, then slipped it back into her pocket. “And I said I’m considered a traitor in two - I lost track of the number of countries who want me a long time ago.” It was just a shame that her main identity had essentially been burned when she had helped Steve take down the Triskelion. After that was when she’d gone full-time Avenger, since it was already a public persona. Here, that might change. “I appreciate it. I’m sure we can bring you on as a consultant if and when.” The redhead smiled over at him. “It’s not as though you have to decide your future right now, at any rate.” “Fledgling?” He repeated with thought, “Like what you call a bird that just leaves the nest?” because that would make sense, but all this was new to him, thinking about vampires being around, hell even knowing Bruce was The Hulk was a bit odd, but that was the odd he’d learned to deal with. This was a new kind. “I don’t know,” He started honestly, “I’ve been a dock worker, a sergeant, or a soldier before--plus the odd jobs I’d do to keep Steve and me in an apartment--not much in terms of experience there” He knew how to do a lot of things, but not things that went on a resume. “That’s the term I was told. Newly turned?” She shook her head. “It’s new territory for me, but I’ll find out more soon.” It was actually comforting to be able to discuss it candidly with another, someone who had a thought process similar to her own. “There are docks here - and you might be able to pick up info if anything happens there or in the other regions,” Natasha suggested. It was actually an interesting notion, but she’d leave that choice up to him, of course. “Makes sense with the bird use of the word I guess. Vampires that aren’t really ready to leave the nest?” Because that made sense in a way as to why it might have been a mess at the scene. He liked talking to her for the same reasons, the ability to ask things like to see crime scene photos without being looked at as odd. The ability to not worry about things she might think of him, or what he might or might not want to reveal. She knew him, and that was both scary and easier for him to deal with. “I’m damn good at that.” He said about dock work. It was some of the only honest work he’d ever done in his life. He could steer most boats well as well but he’d always wanted to learn to sail properly with a wind sail. “And you’re right, docks have all the gossip.” “Mm. Supposedly,” she said with a nod, and then smiled a little at his words about working the dock. “Gossip. Crime. Shady characters. Everything a guy on the lamb could want.” Her words were dry, lips twisting into a light smirk as her eyes took another sweep of the square around them before returning to Bucky. Idly, her thumb brushed his knuckles, almost as though she wasn’t aware of what she was doing - though she was, as always. “What area are you living in? I’m here, in Ravenmoore.” “By the water.” He couldn’t remember where all the towns and things were, he was new to the place and while he could get anywhere already and had surveyed all of the best and worst places to hide or see things--but he didn’t know the names of places and streets. “I got a bike already,” of the motorcycle variety, not the push pedal kind, “So I can get places pretty fast even though I’m a bit out there. I just--I like the water. Think it might have to do with the dock work and things like that--I remember more when I’m near the shore.” Verses the city where he mostly just struggled to survive and not feel overwhelmed by things and people around him. He had no issue coming to visit--but he wasn’t ready for a crowded city. “Brightford,” she supplied, then nodded when he mentioned the bike. “I’ll be looking into that pretty soon. Getting around on foot or train has actually been pretty nice for a change,” though it wouldn’t be completely practical, and she’d need other transportation. Natasha studied his profile idly as he talked about the water, understanding what he meant. “That makes sense. Some psychiatrists use audio cues to help people with cognitive recall. If the water is a sound you’re used to from before everything that happened, it would be understandable that you’d start to remember things better when you’re near it.” And it made her wonder if he would recall even more about their relationship if she visited him there instead of him coming to her. "Steve brought his old one--coincidence that we all prefer them to cars?" Because the world worked in mysterious ways. He far preferred a motorcycle to a car. He liked the freedom of it--and that he could get away faster, he could cut places cars couldn't, he felt safer on one even if he could crash easier. He looked at their hands once more, he liked the juxtaposition of them. Her delicate hands against his own. "So why'd you come here? I make sense, Banner even makes sense--but you? Why'd you want to start over?" "They're easier to use through most traffic, efficient, and easy to hide," she supplied, taking the question as a literal one rather than rhetorical. She was generally pragmatic. His next line of questioning had her actually pausing, and she looked away again before she answered. "I wanted a break," she finally admitted. "Time away from the Avengers, from the SHIELD rebuild. My identity is known far and wide and I didn't feel like running anymore. Preya offered a chance away from that." She honestly wasn't sure entirely about the starting over aspect, and didn't fully believe that they couldn't leave if they actually tried, but that was on the backburner for now. She'd focus there if and when. "Mine too." Well, sort of, his identity wasn't as known as hers, mostly the big names might have looked into it. He knew well that there were still people that were looking to deny that Winter Soldier ever existed. To admit he existed would be to admit that they had let someone work for that long, that they had believed the cover ups for that long. "Yet it seems all the Avenger's followed." He threw back with a snort of a laugh. He had wanted some time away and there they all were. "Proof everyone needed a break, maybe." She nodded. "I had to dump the majority of my SHIELD file onto the internet when I released everything else, but I held a few things back." Plus, her SHIELD file was only about a dozen years long, and there was a long history that hadn't been there - not that anyone except Bucky probably knew that. His laugh had her smiling. She hadn't heard it in a very long time, and it brought her eyes back to him. "So it seems," she said wryly. "At least we don't have certain outside forces here, like the UN." And the Accords. Oh he liked her smile. He couldn't help it. He'd always found her beautiful--it had always been part of the problem. "And you think without outside forces we can all kiss and make up?" He didn't think so. They were very different people united by a cause from what he'd seen and he wasn't sure there would be a cause to unite behind here. "Not necessarily. I think we can peacefully co-exist. I think we have to, here," she mused, her free hand running through her hair absently. "It'll take time and patience, and even tempers. I'll probably end up either a mediator or a babysitter - or both." "Shut up." He said back then but it was more an affectionate tease than anything, "You'd side with us again. Accords or not--you know HYDRA too well to go the other way." To damn him as someone who needed to be locked up even though he thought it was the only option sometimes. She knew HYDRA too well. She was proof it was possible to move on in some way and he knew she'd fight for him again if she had to. "Besides--you can't mother us all the time." "Unless I had a really good reason not to," she said with a smirk, but nodded, and it faded after a moment. He was right - she knew too well what HYDRA was capable of, and it still stung that she'd been duped by them for so long, while working for SHIELD. The only thing that helped that feeling was the knowledge that when it came down to it, she'd been Fury's woman rather than the organization's. "I don't want to mother you," Natasha replied, looking over at him. The glint in her eyes was anything but motherly. "I won't give you one if I can help it--and hopefully I can avoid those kinds of triggers here." The code words were one of the only things that could put him completely under in terms of doing what someone wanted, but little things could sometimes bring the Soldier out in the sense of a survival instinct. The Soldier was that part of him after all. The part left after all the torture, the part that refused to die. Oh he smiled at that, squeezing her hand a moment again. "What no interested in being an old maid with a bunch of super soldier children?" "We'll make sure of it. We can try and find ways to work on the triggers, to keep them from affecting you." She wasn't going to lose him again - and she wouldn't let Steve lose him, either. Natasha was determined to find something to help him. She knew what it was like to not be in control of yourself, and didn't want him to feel that way ever again. Grinning at the squeeze, she arched a brow at him. "Do I look like an old maid, James?" He grinned at her smile, just enjoying seeing it. "I'm not sure, I'm starting to see some wrinkles." He teased because why the hell not? They were sitting there, somewhere HYDRA couldn't get at them, for the first time in a very long time he had only his own demons to deal with and those of his companions rather than running from HYDRA. He felt good, not perfect, but at least good for the moment. |