When I was young, and moving fast, nothing slowed me down. Characters: Neek and Tony Setting: Sweden Content: Nick Fury Summary: Nick and Tony are having a romantic man date weekend getaway that is foiled by all the crazy stuff in NYC
Nick Fury was waiting to be annihilated by an insurmountable enemy and he wondered again why exactly he was here in the first fucking place. It was supposed to be simple, a consultation, bringing Tony out to Sweden to look at some weird alien robot shit S.H.I.E.L.D. acquired. It had turned into a motherfucking disaster. He had basically been ambushed, and now he was trapped, too late to save himself from imminent tragedy. And it was, of course, Tony’s fault. Fucking Stark.
When Nick invited Stark out and Tony said, “Sure dude, but only if we get some skiing in” Nick hadn’t assumed he’d have to ski. He’d figured Stark would give his opinion and then fuck off, so imagine his surprise when Tony appeared in his room in the chalet (yeah, Stark got them a fucking chalet for the weekend) bright and early Saturday morning dressed in a parka with some ridiculous goggles. Next thing he knew, Nick was sitting here on a ski lift rising higher and higher up a mountain he was supposed to later go down and he had no fucking idea how this was done but wasn’t going to give Stark the satisfaction of finding that out. He sure as hell wasn’t going to be in some ski class with a bunch of five-year-olds and some smarmy douchebag motherfucker with bleached hair and RayBans telling him to stick out his ass more or whatever the fuck.
So Fury’s stubborn pride and his hatred for frosted-tips had him lunging awkwardly from the chair when they reached the top, envying Stark his easy dismount, and shuffling awkwardly forward muttering about how his motherfucking skis were fucking defective. He reached the edge of the summit’s drop, staring down the slope with a sour expression. “Let’s get this shit over with,” he snarled, and didn’t even know if Tony could hear him through those earmuffs and that shit-eating grin. Asshole.