InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "You up for one more?"

Cath Delaney (battle_man) wrote in oblivionrp,
@ 2009-07-16 23:19:00

Entry tags:

cath, cath and mae, mae

Through bushes and through briars
Who: Cath and Mae
Where: Their room
When: Very late evening
Rating: NSFW (are these two ever when they're alone?)

Cath shut the door behind him heavily, locking it but not setting up their jury rigged bar. There was no point. He really didn't care if the bastard got him anymore. None of it seemed to matter all the much. Not the notes, not the bloody ship, not getting out of the mess. None of it.

It'd been well over a day and no sign of Mae. Or Alexander. But his thoughts weren't with Leto or her family, as selfish as it was. He was thinking about Mae. He couldn't help it. Mae was his life. Especially now, she was all he had.

And now she was gone. God bloody damn it. He shrugged out of his jacket, then started stripping off weapons. He'd turned off his walkie-talkie, he didn't want to deal with other people's problems right now. He was finally taking the moments he needed.

Grabbing the half drunk bottle of whiskey he'd brought in with him, he downed a good swallow. This wasn't enough to get him drunk, but he needed his wits a bit for what he had planned. Or at least, a steady hand. This was one mission he had no intention of cocking up.

Turning towards the mirror where he'd found the note scrawled this morning, he saw a different one tonight. What the bloody hell?

It was on bright yellow construction paper with red hearts decorating it and golden glitter chaotically slapped on. It indicated that Cathair was supposed to turn to a particular walkie talkie channel - one that was very unused at the moment - and listen.

And it was signed Queen Mab.

Cath's blood ran cold for a minute. This fucking ship was torturing him now or he'd gone utterly mad. Taking another long drink, he stared at the note for a long while, disbelieving. He hated this ship. Another long pull of whiskey, just staring at it. It was Mae's handwriting and it was the sort of childish note she would leave him. She was still very much a little girl, his Mae.

Finally, he reached over to where his walkie-talkie was and turned it on, switching to the channel the note instructed. He didn't expect anything, really. No one who'd ever disappeared on this hellish bloody cruise had ever come back.

But maybe he hadn't completely run out of hope.

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queen_mab
2009-07-17 06:30 am UTC (link)

She was hidden still. Only this time she was very near by. Maeve was curled up in the closest thing the tub had to a corner... Just waiting to hear him in the room, mess with his walkie-talkie. She had dawned a sweet blue dress that went well with her bright hair.

Shuffling. Feet. She waited for a moment then heard a static tainted click. That was her cue. A deep quiet breath as she steeled herself for the coming storm. And then she made a very silly choice. She began to sing after pressing down the talk button. Mae had a high, clear voice that was better suited for hymns and such so it was perfect for this particular song (of which she skipped the first verse to get to the more important parts)...

I overheard my own true love
His voice it was so clear
Long time I have been waiting for
The coming of my dear
Long time I have been waiting for
The coming of my dear

Sometimes I am uneasy
And troubled in my mind
Sometimes I think I'll go to my love
And tell to him my mind.
Sometimes I think I'll go to my love
And tell to him my mind.

But if I should go unto my love
My love he may say nay
And if I showed to him my boldness
He'll ne'er love me again
And if I showed to him my boldness
He'll ne'er love me again

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battle_man
2009-07-17 06:36 am UTC (link)

He was so shocked by what he heard, he dropped his walkie-talkie and just stared at it. Oh fucking God he hated this ship. He fought down a sob as her sweet voice continued, this time from close by and from the bloody walkie.

What the bloody fuck?

"Mae?" he said. He ignored the device and headed for the sounds. It was coming from the...bathroom?

He was going mad. Or she was haunting him. Or the ship was torturing him. One of those. "Mae?" he called again, pounding on the door. "Mae, where are you?"

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queen_mab
2009-07-17 06:43 am UTC (link)

Ah, but it wasn't the ship. And her husband was oh so smart to ignore the walkie talkie and come looking for her when she was so close by. You know, she was starting to wonder why she always chose the bathroom to hide in for these sorts of things...

She clicked off her walkie upon the last word and changed the channel back to the right one for all the security crap. Maeve climbed out of the tub in silence and unlocked the door, stepping back so he could bust in of his own accord. She didn't want him to accidentally smack her in the face with a fist from pounding on the door or something.

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battle_man
2009-07-17 07:29 am UTC (link)

It was small, defensible and really, the last place anyone would look. It rather made perfect sense to Cathair. If he wasn't going insane from everything.

He heard the walkie-talkie switch over, and the door unlock. Fucking hell. Cath didn't bust through the door, but he came very close.

"Mae?" There she was, dressed in blue and looking beautiful and whole and alive. She was alive. He was going insane. Or she was. He didn't know if he wanted to kill her or hug her or scream.

Actually all of the above really. But he wasn't certain what he wanted to do first, so he opted for staring at her dumbly.

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queen_mab
2009-07-17 07:40 am UTC (link)

She was staring at her toes, fully expecting to either get bitch slapped or yelled at. Nothing pleasant here. Mae was definitely not expecting something nice.

So when nothing at all what so ever came her way she was pleasantly surprised yet extremely worried. Maeve chanced a glance up at Cathair, twisting her wedding ring around on her finger with nerves.

"Um... Hi." Oh yeah. That was smart. Real intelligent. She actually hadn't thought this part of the plan through. In fact, that she had a plan of any sort had been a complete fucking miracle.

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battle_man
2009-07-17 07:51 am UTC (link)

Hi? She'd put him through hell for two bloody days and all made him think she was gone forever, put him through what she knew was his worst nightmare and all she could do was say hi?

Cath had always been the cooler head in their relationship, which was possibly the only reason he managed to restrain himself from yelling or striking her. That and he was totally exhausted. In every way possible. He'd been ready to kill himself so he didn't have to go on without her. Bloody fucking hell.

Instead he just turned and stalked back to where he'd left his liquor and his things. He grabbed the bottle and downed the rest, then just slammed it into the wall with all his strength.

It sort of made him feel better. And he knew he had another bottle around here. He wasn't even buzzing.

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queen_mab
2009-07-17 07:58 am UTC (link)

Ah. So he was just going to walk away again. Maeve wince when he turned. Waited until the explosion happened - in this case a bottle smashing against a wall.

Right. So. This wasn't fixing anything. Maybe there was nothing to fix after the first time he'd walked away. That's what it felt like even though the small, rational part of her brain said there was a very good reason to it all. She just wasn't listening to it.

Which was why she had slipped quiet as a mouse out of the bathroom and was headed for the room exit again. Probably not the smartest thing to do at the moment especially since she actually didn't have any weapons on her nor her walkie talkie. But she just felt cold and had wrapped her arms around herself as tightly as possible to make herself seem very, very small.

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battle_man
2009-07-17 08:05 am UTC (link)

Part of him wanted to let her go. Since clearly he didn't matter enough to her to stop bloody well running away from him all the bloody time. That hurt. Especially the last time. When he needed her. She had to be trying to keep him from finding her. Purposely doing the most horrible thing she could to him.

Making him certain he'd lost her forever.

"Finally get over your fucking infatuation?" he snapped. He didn't want to believe that, but the way she betrayed him, what she'd just done, he could only assume the worst. He should have known. Should have known.

"Just run away," Cathair dismissed her. "Someday you'll realize there's nowhere to run to."

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queen_mab
2009-07-17 08:13 am UTC (link)

She turned to face him very slowly, "No. I thought maybe you had gotten over yours." She didn't sound angry. She wasn't yelling. In fact, she sounded perfectly and truly dead inside. Maeve was certainly feeling it after all.

And she didn't leave. Instead, she settled on the floor in the corner. If the door flew open at any point, it would have hit her. "You're the one who left first," she wasn't trying to start an argument, just trying to explain but it was hard to tell with that empty tone.

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battle_man
2009-07-17 08:19 am UTC (link)

Oh for fuck's sake. Cath threw up his hands in the air in total frustration. "No Mae, I was just going to blow my brains out because I'd thought I'd lost you forever. I searched for you for 18 fucking hours straight. I clearly don't care about you at all."

Saints, how blind was she?

"You were hiding under the priest's fucking desk, Mae," he reminded her. "What was a I supposed to do? It wasn't the bloody place for that. And you knew that, that's why you did it. I tried to talk sense into you. I wasn't going to drag Father Fitzpatrick or anyone else into it. It was between us."

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queen_mab
2009-07-17 01:41 pm UTC (link)

Damn, he hadn't even made it to the twenty four hour mark. Not that she had been timing him or something. That wasn't the point. And the fact that he, a Catholic, had been contemplating suicide was just... weird. She didn't base everything he did around his religion but he was fairly stuck to it.

"You've never just walked away before," at least not that she could remember. It had just felt like he'd given up. Maeve curled up in a tight ball, "I'm tired of feeling like... Like second to everything on this stupid ship. Why do you always have to be the leader? Why can't you just let them fend for their damned stupid selves?"

It was hard for her to express everything but ever since he took up this leading security bullshit... And she knew it wasn't actually true but that's how she felt. She just wanted to go home home right now and that wasn't an option.

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battle_man
2009-07-17 06:40 pm UTC (link)

It'd have been a miracle for him to make it as far as he had without just ending it. He couldn't live without her, no matter how fucking insane she drove him. And that was the end of it. He was already going to Hell for his lifetime of destruction, committing suicide wasn't anymore likely to make that worse. Really, eternal damnation was preferable to him than life without her.

"You've never tried to drag the bloody clergy into our spats before, sweetheart," he reminded her. Anyone else and he'd have been fine to see one of their rows. But Father Fitzpatrick was a priest and he wouldn't be so disrespectful.

Cath threw up his hands. "Oh for the love of Pete," he snapped. "We can't strike out on our own Mae. There's no place to go. And if you haven't noticed, this lot isn't exactly the most brilliant. A few of them, but most of them are about as useful as a tit on a bull." It wasn't his natural to let other people be in charge anyway. She knew that. He always did have to be the leader.

"Fuck me, Mae," he told her, moving closer but not to her. He wasn't quite ready for that yet. "And what was I supposed to do with myself? You've been punishing me and pushing me away since this whole fucking thing went pear shaped. I can't make this cursed ship let us go, I can't do anything more than I have to make it better. What do you fucking want from me?"

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queen_mab
2009-07-17 07:17 pm UTC (link)

"I wasn't trying to drag him in. You're the one who picked to be in a bloody chapel. Not me," she muttered mostly to her knees. She was refusing to look at him.

Maeve tsked loudly, "Natural Selection at its finest!" That was one of the few things she'd actually paid attention to in school. Of course she had. It was an evil, wonderful thing brought on by nature to cull the herd... "Christ, Cathair. You're not bloody Cú Chulainn! You don't have to be the hero!"

Her eyes narrowed dangerously and she glared at him, "That's bullshit. I have not. I got scared. We made up. Then you decided to tell everything. I'm surprised you haven't wanted to tell the whole bloody ship and get us killed by some English." She shook her head, "B'sides. You're always off with your brand new friends. Your brand new family. And I am so fucking tired."

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battle_man
2009-07-17 07:26 pm UTC (link)

"And you're the one who hid under his desk," he reminded her. She wasn't putting this on him. Not this time.

Cath slammed his fist into the wall as opposed to her for how much of a fucking petulant brat she was being. The crack of his knuckles, the sharp pain, helped him focus. "I don't want to be the bloody hero, Mae," he snapped. "But I can't sit by and do nothing. That's not who I am."

"You have," he insisted. "And I needed you in this. You're the only bloody person I really trust. Or could trust." Now he wasn't so certain. "Telling them allows us to use all of our bloody skills without having to come up with more covers. The lies have to stop sometime."

He snorted loudly. "Because including you has never been part of my plan, now has it," he countered sarcastically. "That's why I made sure you were involved, had weapons and were always with me. Until you took off in a bloody tantrum because you weren't getting your way. Fucking hell, Mae, grow up."

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queen_mab
2009-07-17 07:59 pm UTC (link)

She couldn't even find words for the rest of it... But she did manage this, "That's not why I took off!" It took a long moment for her to gather her words, to say anything else. She felt sick from all of it. "You didn't even say anything. And I'm so tired of losing people."

Her jaw worked for a moment as she carefully chose her words, "First... Dad. Then mum when we left. Not to mention the countless others we know that've been arrested or died. Then hundreds of people on this ship..." She peered at him through a veil of hair, "And y'know, I haven't seen Danny in ages. That kid I work with? I think we might have actually been friends. Even a little bit."

Mae's voice became a kind of squeak as she tried to keep control of her tone and her emotions, "And then to have you just walk off... I couldn't stand it anymore."

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battle_man
2009-07-17 08:06 pm UTC (link)

"Well then why didn't you bloody talk to me instead of making me afraid I'd lost you as well!" he demanded. "You think I don't feel the losses? That they don't hurt? They do. I just can't very well shut down when things go bad."

Cath sighed and sank down against the wall next to her. He was exhausted, wrung out and generally beaten down. "I told you why I walked away," he told her. "Fucking hell, Mae, why does everything have to be a fight with you?"