|Nicholas Rowland (amending) wrote in nevermore_logs,|
@ 2016-05-21 01:52:00
|Entry tags:||nicholas rowland, the antichrist|
WHO: Nicholas, the Antihrist
WHEN: Saturday evening
WHERE: Wherever Joshua is keeping him
WARNINGS: Starvation and torture
Time had no meaning in the room that was currently Nicholas' entire world. There were no windows and no clocks, nothing to mark the passage of time. There was a dim lightbulb that cast the room in an eerie half-light all the time and Nicholas had gotten so used to the lack of dark, he honestly believed he might die without what little light he had.
He was probably going to die anyway.
Most of the time blurred together anyway, as Nicholas spent more and more of his time asleep. In fact he often slept so hard that the only way the Antichrist could rouse him was placing the burning end of a cigarette against his skin. The sharp pain cut through every other torture his body was going through, and Nicholas would awake with a start.
On Saturday evening, Nicholas woke up with such force that he pushed his head backwards into the wall on the other side of his sad, little bed. His vision swam and greyed, but he managed to blink out of it to see Joshua in front of him, taking a deep drag of the cigarette he had just burned Nicholas' arm with. "I'm running out of room on your arms," Joshua lamented.
"Sad," Nicholas muttered. The energy he had expended to wake himself up had exhausted him and he was already ready to go back to sleep. "Go 'way."
"It's been over a month, you know?" Joshua said gleefully as he tossed a small breadroll onto the bed beside Nicholas.
A month? Nicholas felt like it couldn't possibly have been that long, and that it seemed like it had been far longer, both at once. His eyes fell on the breadroll and then he gazed back up at Joshua. Up until today he had dutifully eaten the small morsels of food Joshua had given him despite the fact that he knew Joshua was only doing it to cause him pain. Nicholas felt like he had half a chance at surviving this if he ate what little was offered him, and he owed his unborn child that much.
At least he thought he had. But today, he couldn't do it. What he felt now, was a blissful lack of stomach pangs. In fact his entire body was shutting down and instead of terror, he felt a strange kind of peace. To eat now would just restart the entire process again and he couldn't. This was the worst thing he had every experienced and he was done. "Go fuck yourself," Nicholas growled, batting the roll onto the floor. "Jus' leave me 'lone."
"Interesting," Joshua said, crossing his arms. "Giving up already? I didn't see that coming. Your ridiculous partners got your letter, by the way."
That cause Nicholas a pang, and he closed his eyes, turning away from Joshua. The Antichrist had forced him to write a letter to Jesse and JJ telling them he was leaving them. He had complied, but he had worked very hard to make it sound like someone else had written it. He only hoped they both knew he wouldn't have left them willingly. He couldn't stand it if he died now and they always believed he had betrayed them. He didn't want to give Joshua the pleasure of seeing him angry about it, so he just shook his head and said nothing.
"You're all skin and bone now," Joshua continued, like a little child who was annoyed at being ignored. It was true, however. Nicholas' once impressive physique was gone, his muscles entirely wasted away. He was skeletal, not that he could see the effect it had had on his face. Looking at his ribs and hands was terrifying enough. "And you're turning yellow."
"Festive," Nicholas said with a shrug. He lowered himself back to the mattress and closed his eyes. He hardly cared if Joshua stayed or not, he was going back to sleep. He couldn't keep awake any more. The fear of torture was minimal now. Now, Nicholas was just waiting for death and willing for it to come quickly.