Temperance (middle_path) wrote in nevermore_logs, @ 2016-01-02 11:49:00 |
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Current mood: | anxious |
Entry tags: | emma franklin, temperance |
WHO: Emma Franklin and Jonah
WHEN: Backdated December 16th
WHERE: Jonah's place
WHAT: Jonah and Emma still trying to figure things out.
WARNING: Cuteness? Log reads backwards
Emma could see there was no convincing him, so she dropped that argument. Even if she did eventually get hurt, she knew it wouldn't be his fault. She felt it in her gut. At his answer Emma looked relieved. It was a step closer to getting back to normal. Just hanging out. That's all it was, and she could deal with that. "That sounds great."
…
"I never wish to, but I know hurt is inevitable even with the best intentions." He held onto her hand, rubbing his thumb across the top. "I'm not sure." Jonah laughed a little awkwardly. He wasn't going to be spending the night or making out just because they announced their feelings. "Let's just have some tea, curl up on the couch and watch a movie?" He wasn't sure his brain could take much more than that right now.
…
"I don't think it's possible for you to intentionally hurt anyone," she said. Which she believed to be entirely true. Any hurt she may feel was her own doing. "So..." she felt her heart flutter at the feel of his lips on her hand, "what do you want to do?" She knew her own feelings and she was pretty sure he knew them too. All of this depended on what he wanted between them.
…
"I'm just trying to make sense of things." He felt as if there was a sledgehammer in his brain just beating away whenever he had a moment's peace. "I know, I know...I just don't want to hurt you or disappoint you while we try to figure it out." He took her hand again, kissing the top softly.
…
Emma shook her head, "But the Sins do pretty much anything they want. That's why you're so much better." Finally, she looked up to him, "I understand where you're coming from bringing them up, don't get me wrong. But we need to figure us out." Because she was starting to feel as awkward as earlier.
…
"I don't know. I know Greed swears he's in love with that mortal girl he's with. And part of me questions the validity of that. If it's possible for him, maybe there's a window I don't know about. And Maddy...." he didn't want to go into that. What was going on between her and Patience was something he didn't want to drag up just yet. He was as unsure about that as he was this, but he'd much rather focus on Emma.
…
Emma nodded in agreement. The Sins were out of control. But she couldn't see how that was relevant to this. It did make her feel a little more relaxed to talk about something other than her and Jonah, even if only for a few seconds. Of course she would be easy on him, but these things weren't always that way even you tried. She looked at their hands. "I don't know what we're supposed to do. You're a Virtue. Are you allowed to like people that way?"
…
"The Sins get away with too much. Sometimes I think it's unfair how they treat the world and the rewards they pull in." He took a deep breath. Was now really the time to open all those crazy thoughts? It might be too much for them both. For right now. "Be easy on me, and let's just start with the fact that we both care for each other." He nodded, taking her hands and looking to her for some sort of agreement. He had to try and get his thoughts in some kind of order.
…
Envy. Emma would probably never be over what that monster had done to her. Even though she wasn't fond of Madison she hated what Envy had done to her, because she was a part of Jonah. She allowed herself to glance at him. "You do?" It may have been all she could muster for now, but it was something more than standing there looking uncomfortable.
…
It was a start, he felt she deserved to know that much. "So, please don't take my shock as anything else. I've got my own questions and confusions since turning back and forth from Maddy and this whole Envy situation." He couldn't put it past them, it was part of why he was so wrecked. "I don't know what this means for us going forward, but I like you." And he could feel his heartbeat start to rattle in his chest again through his throat.
…
Emma didn't think it was possible for her to get any redder, but her face deceived her as it turned an even brighter shade of red. She hadn't been expecting that. To be honest, she hadn't had a clue what to expect. Maybe him turning her down as gently as possible, because that's just how he was. Emma stood there looking like a deer in headlights, speechless. Any effort to figure out what to say had gone out the window, replaced instead with his words as they echoed in her mind. Of all the scenarios she had thought up over the last week, this had not been one of them.
…
Jonah could sense that things were severely uncomfortable. He didn't know how he was going to rip this bandaid off or where they went from here on out. He still had more questions. "I---" he started, "I don't want you to feel that your feelings are unreciprocated. I do have feelings for you." There that burst one bubble. He was usually the calm one, but there was worry in his voice. This could be disastrous.
…
Emma fully intended to keep considerable distance between herself and Jonah. Physically anyway. So when he opened the door to let her in she offered a rather forced smile and then walked to stand about eight feet away. "I'm just going to stay over here for now," she said awkwardly, because she didn't know if her emotions would decide to have a take two and make things even worse.
…
Emma barely looked at him, trying not to make too much eye contact. She could feel her cheeks burning. Her mind was racing with what to say. She hadn't even rehearsed what she wanted to say, because nothing had come to mind. "I don't know what to say," she said quietly, feeling rather desperate for him to be the one to start them off. Maybe that would make this go by more quickly and she could get the heck out and go sulk at her apartment.
…
Jonah wasn't quite the mess he'd been when he first went to see Emma. He still wasn't even sure what to think about her feelings. More importantly his own. It wasn't new for him to consider having someone in his life. He'd thought about it the time he briefly lived with Zoe. However, with Greed hanging around it had really amped up his questions and ideas about what was considered appropriate. If a Sin could have something so pure such as love, friendship, and other things...the same couldn't apply to them. But, as Madison when she'd returned from Envy's watery burial her and Patience had grown considerably close. That had also messed up that already fuzzy line.
Now there was Emma. And Jonah really liked her, he just hadn't been around long enough yet to really know what his feelings were since Madison had taken over.
He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly before opening up the door and letting Emma in. The place he was staying at was the top space of a two story building. It was a small space, and the tenets below were a lot louder than he was, but he had limited funds and he'd rather put a little distance between him and Patience until he figured things out.
…
Although Emma had enjoyed spending a few days with her mom, the had hardly relaxed. The closer Friday came, the tenser she got. And her mother couldn't help but notice. Cathryn had even commented on how pale Emma was looking. Emma wasn't exactly looking forward to the conversation that was coming and it made her feel sick to her stomach. When Friday came she took her time packing, dragging her feet in packing up her rental car. She even groaned when her suitcase was tucked safely away in the trunk and her purse sat in the front passenger seat. Her mother gave her last minute words of encouragement before Emma was off.
Emma returned the car before dropping her suitcase off at her apartment. Then she dragged her feet in making her way to Jonah's place. There was literally nothing in this world that could prepare her for the impending conversation. The closer she came, the more nervous she got. When she finally got to that door, she just stood there for a while staring at the door. It took all the will power she had to knock on the door, her hands shaking as she clasped them together.