Mary Magdalene (gospel_of_mary) wrote in nevermore_logs, @ 2011-10-06 08:31:00 |
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Entry tags: | huitzilopochtli, mary magdalene |
WHO: Mary Magdalene & Huitzilopochtli
WHEN: The sort of hours of Tuesday night that are well into Wednesday morning, right after this (2011-10-05)
WHERE: Huitzi's place
WHAT: UNCLEAN. FOREVER UNCLEAN.
WARNINGS: Language, talk of violence and very wrong sex.
Still Mary couldn't explain what had caused her to do it. The man she hated more than almost anything and she'd had his life in her hands. She could have ended it. She'd told him that she would end it. But instead-
She'd escaped that alley and only half a block away had she fallen to her knees against some building and thrown up everything in her stomach. She felt more disgusting than she ever had before in her life, her skin crawling with revolution that she'd let Judas fuck her, that she'd wanted him to in that moment.
She could have gone to her own apartment to hide, but she didn't. She went to the warehouse home she shared with Huitzilopochtli. She could have claimed that it was just because that was closer, but in truth she wasn't sure she trusted her own judgment right now. How could she?
In the shower Mary scrubbed violently at her flesh with a cloth until she was red and raw, blood springing to the surface as she continued, nails leaving raised marks across her as she tried to remove Judas' touch. But it would never go away and it was made worse by the fact that she knew Jesus had seen it all. He knew what she'd done and she was ashamed of what and who she was. She was no better than any common whore, no better than anyone ever thought of her.
Mary didn't know how long she was under the boiling hot shower but eventually she staggered out, turning away from her reflection in the mirror. She didn't want to look at herself. Wrapping her arms around herself, Mary dug her nails into herself and wished she could tear everything away. The towel was too far away for her to reach and instead she dropped her head and hid behind the curtain of wet hair, ugly, angry sobs shaking through her body.
[info]bluehummingbird
2011-10-05 11:47 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
She had been in that shower for a while. Despite his name holding less and less meaning, he still didn't need sleep. He'd seen her come home in a state he had never before seen her in and now she wasn't coming out of that room.
He worried what had happened. He didn't think she understood how he accepted her as she was now. He knew she loved him, but that myth as it made her would make her stray. As long as he could keep her love, he could live with this. He may take out his jealousy on whatever lover she'd get, but he was allowed he thought. Neither of them could change what they were now.
But he frowned. If anyone had harmed her, he could offer quite a painful death. He made the warriors leave the area before pushing the door open and kneeling before her, offering the towel before taking her chin in his fingers, his eyes burning for whoever made her cry like this. "Tell me what, and who, and they die."
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[info]gospel_of_mary
2011-10-05 11:50 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Mary took a heavy breath, forcing herself to regain control and stop crying like some wounded animal. She shook her head slowly and clutched the towel in her hands. "The sin is mine alone," Mary told him, her voice thick and quiet.
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[info]bluehummingbird
2011-10-05 11:58 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He frowned. Christians with their guilt and sin. He'd never get it. He looked into her eyes, "Mary, it can't be. Any being who makes a woman cry like this, make her hide in her own bathroom is not worthy of anything." He checked her for bruises, marks, anything.
"Whoever this was, made you cry. Made you hurt. You don't do that to a lover." No mortal man should take. He was always crueler to those who felt they could do to their partners a they liked, despite their partners say on it. He'd seen too much of that. He'd even punished his own warriors harshly for that. That was the lowest of low.
"I do not hold anger for you Mary. I understand who you are. I always have, I always will. I eat hearts. I must. You do not like this, but understand why. I do the same for you. I have your love. Now, please. Tell me. Let me avenge this wrong."
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[info]gospel_of_mary
2011-10-05 12:05 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Mary wrapped the towel around herself, disgusted by her own body right now. Wiping at her eyes she sniffed and looked at her Hummingbird. "Tonight I ran into someone from my past," she explained, wishing she didn't have to. "A man who was my friend once but then betrayed my husband. He sold him to his death and I told him that if I saw him again I would kill him." Mary squeezed her eyes shut.
"I hate him. I've never hated anyone- But... I couldn't kill him. I tried! I had my hands around his throat and instead I-" she twisted her face in disgust at the memory. "I let him touch me. I let him fuck me and I don't know why I did that. I'm scum and he's a monster and I don't know why I did this!"
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[info]bluehummingbird
2011-10-05 12:12 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He released her, not really getting the details of all this. Christians were supposedly all about love and peace. Not the type to betray one another for some coin.
"Easy now." He settled down in front of her, taking another towel and handing it to her. "You will freeze." He let some of his power slip to make it warmer. He wasn't about to let her catch a cold.
"You are not scum. Has modern legend done anything with the myth? With you or him?" It seemed the most logical thing. Maybe myth had made it all change.
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[info]gospel_of_mary
2011-10-05 12:25 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Mary shook her head and swallowed at that heavy lump in her throat. "I don't know, I don't know," she said, hating how helpless she sounded in her own head. "I don't know anything right now. I feel sick." She grabbed for Huitzilopochtli's hand and squeezed tightly.
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[info]bluehummingbird
2011-10-05 12:30 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"It's alright beloved," he said the last in his own tongue. He was far from anyone who could soothe well but he was trying. He took her hands and smiled, "I'll have my people do research, meanwhile I'll do what I can to keep him out of your sight." He paused, "killing him is still an option."
He kissed her fingers, "Can I persuade you to at least sit somewhere warmer? Have you eat something? I don't know what I'm supposed to do here. I am going off mortals. And movies."
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[info]gospel_of_mary
2011-10-05 01:05 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"He should be dead," Mary agreed. "He took everything from me. He doesn't deserve to live." But more truthfully, Mary thought he didn't deserve to die. Not because she believed in the sanctity of his life, but because if he truly felt as guilty as he said then death would only free him from that. "I wish I'd killed him. I wish I'd torn his throat out with my teeth."
Swallowing again she nodded. "I can't eat. I'll just throw it up again. But I'll come with you. I can't scrub him off me anymore."
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[info]bluehummingbird
2011-10-05 01:20 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Nodding he offered his hand, waiting until she took it before leading her to his bedroom and sitting her down on the bed. Then he sat down beside her, unsure if he should touch her or not. "Mary, you must tell me if you wish him dead or not. I'll kill him myself for you." He wouldn't touch the heart though. Someone like that didn't deserve it.
"But if you don't want me to, tell me now." He knew how she felt about death. He didn't tell her about those lives he took, and she never asked. But if he didn't ask, he couldn't be sure. "This is your call."
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[info]gospel_of_mary
2011-10-05 01:29 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Mary looked down at her arms, her skin pink from scrubbing at it and lines of blood from her own nails. Did He see her right now, sitting here like this? Was He ashamed of what he saw, this woman he'd once loved?
"Kill him," Mary whispered, looking at Huitzilopochtli. "Kill him for me, because I can't do it. And if I go near him again..." she closed her eyes. "I'm scared of what I'll do."
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[info]bluehummingbird
2011-10-05 01:38 pm UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
He nodded. He'd offer to give her the heart, but he didn't think she'd want it. "Done. Give me a name and a description and I will send my men to hunt him. We will find him, and he will die." He wasn't a God that understood romantic gestures. Flowers and candy was beyond him. For him, this was the best he could do.
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[info]gospel_of_mary
2011-10-09 01:20 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
"Tomorrow," Mary pleaded gently. "Not tonight. I just want to not think about him right now. I don't want to think about anything." She looked up at her Aztec. "Just stay with me?" she asked. "I don't want to be by myself."