InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Nah"

Zelgadis Greywars (_incurable) wrote in marinasylum,
@ 2011-11-18 01:02:00

Entry tags:

:action, saber, zelgadis greywars

[Action | Closed]
[Getting away from Saber was slightly easier than before -- one of many things that was becoming irksome. Her distant attitude and near-silence was just getting aggravating. Zelgadis had just gotten used to her regular annoyances.]

[-- and, what he'd said to her a few days ago was eating at him. No matter how upset he was at finding himself re-cursed after one day of freedom, taking it out on other people was low. That was why he'd slipped her earlier today and spent a while in the shelter kitchen.]

[He makes sure she's not home, or at least not in the kitchen, while he brings in what he'd been working on. It only takes a few minutes to set up the table, which he fills with a huge multi-dish dinner. Beef hot-pot, roast chicken with vegetables, a recipe he'd found for something called lasagne, along with rice and several kinds of potatoes. He doesn't know how to make a lot of things, but living on his own for years taught him simple things using a campfire. The kitchen gadgets they had here weren't that complicated. A quick heat spell re-warms it all quite efficiently.]

[He just hopes it'll be enough to forget all that nonsense already.]

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undyingideal
2011-11-19 01:17 am UTC (link)

[Aside from her usual session in the dojo, Saber had spent the majority of the day relatively nearby-- close enough to know just her master's location, but completely out of his sight and sense. Just in case an emergency arose. He'd made it clear the other day that her actual company wasn't needed or desired.

Just like Kiritsugu. She's tried to prevent that situation again, to be something Zelgadis could and should depend on. But realistically, she just needs him to sustain her long enough til a way out can be found. Anything more is unnecessary]

[Quietly opening the front door when she returns for the evening, she prepares for yet another quiet meal-- until she enters the main room to see something along the lines of a full course meal or more set up, and she has to pause in taking off her jacket from surprise. She gives her waiting master a look of complete puzzlement for a moment, before breaking the terms of silence for a necessary question]

Are we-- you hosting a dinner of some sort, Master?

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	_incurable 2011-11-19 01:25 am UTC (link)
	[he clears his throat uneasily, looking in her direction but not quite at her.] Something like that. I thought you'd like a big dinner. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	undyingideal 2011-11-19 03:41 am UTC (link)
	[Lets that sink in for a beat-- it's for her-- before haltingly replying, her words still as business-like as they've been for the last day] I do not require any more sustenance than usual... [Which isn't to say she doesn't want it. She just doesn't understand why all of a sudden] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_incurable 2011-11-19 03:48 am UTC (link)
	[her tone frustrates him, but he swallows his irritation.] I know. I just thought you might want it. [He walks over to stand behind her, hands gently lying on her shoulders as he aims to guide her into a chair.] I don't know many recipes, but I did what I could. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

undyingideal
2011-11-19 03:59 am UTC (link)

[A tiny uncertain glance as he goes behind her, but she allows him to steer her to her seat, with a fairly stiff posture to her as she sits]

This is thoughtful of you. However, also unnecessary. You need not feel any obligation or desire to cook for me.

[Might be throwing his words of obligation back at him? At the very least, there's no malice or bitterness to them...]

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	_incurable 2011-11-19 04:09 am UTC (link)
	[Well, he deserved that. But bad news was, she wasn't getting the right message here. Dammit, did she have to pick now to be dense? She might feel his hands tighten very slightly on her shoulders as he goes to speak.] It wasn't -- [no, wait. He shouldn't start that way. Clearing his throat,] What I said to you was wrong. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

undyingideal
2011-11-24 08:05 am UTC (link)

[So that's what this is all about. She relaxes back in her chair slightly for a moment, though from a weariness recalling that moment than from any kind of positive feeling. Yes, it had definitely hurt, but...]

I must correct you. [Quietly] Your emotion and intent at the time may have been wrong, but your words were not. They were a truth that I have been naively ignoring.

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	_incurable 2011-11-26 04:57 am UTC (link)
	[...] [His hands tense again before leaving her shoulders, hastily. So this... these last few days, this is what she wanted?] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	undyingideal 2011-11-26 09:55 pm UTC (link)
	[She lets that settle for a beat, before continuing with a new breath... and while she still has the determination remaining to do so] I put aside the duty I must fulfill. Becoming concern-- involved with others does not benefit me in any way. It impedes my progress. As I have not yet completed my duty... I do not have such freedom. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

_incurable
2011-11-26 10:01 pm UTC (link)

[He hasn't moved from behind her. He's glad, now, that he hadn't bothered to set another seat at the table.]

It was still wrong of me to say it.

[that hangs for a second as he considers what else to say. He really should just turn and go, leave her to her dinner.]

[He doesn't, though. With a stiff shrug,] You're the same as me, then, I guess. [he can't let anything get in the way of his cure. Getting close to people is... an impediment.]

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undyingideal
2011-11-27 12:15 am UTC (link)

[Keeping her hands balled up in her lap and firmly not touching the food before her, she hopes his initial silence means he understands, and in spite of the solemn air cast over them, she can't help the tiniest, ironic smile at his words. Softly:]

Perhaps that is why I responded to your call so easily.

[She knows the detail of Servants being drawn to Masters with like dispositions. And Saber knows that she'd even hoped for the exact thing to happen this time. But she hadn't ever expected it to backfire on her in this way.

She can't allow herself to become dependent on him, on anyone else. She just has to keep moving by herself, like she's always done. A king has no choice but to be alone]

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_incurable
2011-11-27 12:28 am UTC (link)

...Right. [He can't think of it that way, not with the way things have been the last few days. It was -- a fluke. Nothing more.]

[Still, he can't just walk away again, despite how his legs seem to want to. He's trying to make things better, and maybe this isn't going at all like he thought but at least she's speaking to him. Which is important if he wants to be less annoyed by someone insisting on following him around.]

What kind of duty? [yes that was said a minute ago, but it just dawned on him what she might be asking. If nullifying their contract would help her accomplish whatever she was seeking, then it was only logical --]

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undyingideal
2011-11-28 12:06 am UTC (link)

[A heavy sigh leaves her, tiny frame slouching a bit from her usual perfect and rigid posture, before her expression settles into something that's altogether weary, regretful and completely resolved to her fate. Not that he can see it; it's just a rare display of her heart]

I have a duty to protect my people and country. I wish to reverse the destruction that came upon them, so I became a Servant in order to fight for a relic that possesses the power to accomplish that.

I must return to continue my battle. So-- I must endure this place til the opportunity to escape arises, and I cannot allow anything to distract or give me hesitation.

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	_incurable 2011-11-28 02:10 am UTC (link)
	Ah. [That's the only sound for a long beat; it's clear to him now what she wants. He just isn't sure he can make it happen.] It would be easier if you didn't have this contract, then. [his tone is completely, unnaturally even.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wow she really wanted to reply to this right away orz

undyingideal
2011-11-28 02:47 am UTC (link)

[Immediately, she finally turns around completely in her seat to face him, thin brows knitted tightly, troubled, as her eyes study him closely as if to discover what his meaning that way alone]

That is not so. What you provide has aided me greatly. And in return, I have tried to be worthy of you.

[Maybe too much so, in fact, if she's become attached. Or... not enough to be fair exchange in his eyes? Either way the problem seems to be her, she muses as cold depreciation starts to creep up]

--Am I unsatisfactory for what I have been given? [Is that the root of his words the other day then? Even if he was angry at his return to stone form, he wouldn't have lashed out if some irritation at her wasn't there to begin with... right?]

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_incurable
2011-11-28 04:06 am UTC (link)

Unsatis -- [he recoils some, sheer surprise getting the better of him for this fleeting moment] No!

[A blink, and his expression settles back into something close to, but not quite, neutral. He didn't intend to act so... like that, but honestly how could she think that after the effort he'd put into making her dinner, apologizing. It's not like he bothered to do that for just anyone...]

[Clearing his throat, he can't meet her eyes for now, but neither can he hide his slight fluster] I wouldn't let you stay here if you were. [not that she gives him much say in the matter, but that's neither here nor there.]

All you've done is encourage me toward my goal. And yet being -- with me [for lack of a better word, or one that may offend her] is keeping you from yours. Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?

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undyingideal
2011-11-29 08:45 pm UTC (link)

[Saber doesn't believe she's seen so emotion displayed on him, aside from key circumstances. It makes her realize that he sincerely feels so, rather than simply pacifying and trying to smooth things over to feel better. And it's touching in a way, that he reacts like that on her behalf, so how can she do anything less than respond with honesty in kind?]

Truthfully... all I can do is bide my time here, and keep watch until a chance comes. I do not have objections if you wish for our partnership to remain until that time-- so long as it remains only that.

[It's clearly still worrying her what she feels that "partnership" has become. He should never have come to see her as a person... and maybe she really didn't help with that point. So she has to begin to correct it, and herself, from now on]

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	_incurable 2011-11-29 09:42 pm UTC (link)
	[She makes it sound so official. Well -- good. Good. That's what it should be.] [He can't help being a little embarrassed though, given how he acted when he was human that day.] You mean what happened when I was... younger. [He had -- hugged her, after all. He scratches at the back of his neck, finding something on the far wall very interesting.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	undyingideal 2011-11-30 05:00 am UTC (link)
	[She also flushes lightly at the reminder, but manages to look mostly just disgruntled after a moment] That is... some of it, yes. It is difficult for me to believe that you would be so familiar with any that serve you. Therefore... [If he could just consider their stations before acting, it would be a step in the right direction] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_incurable 2011-11-30 09:31 pm UTC (link)
	I'm not exactly used to anyone serving me. [he says it quickly, but without malice.] And as for the other matter... Well. I was drugged that day. [so clearly you shouldn't read too much into it ~~even if he is~~.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	undyingideal 2011-12-02 10:19 pm UTC (link)
	--Pardon? [The first point is understandable, but the second is harder to swallow. Yes, he'd been extremely giddy, but hadn't it been because he was human?] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_incurable 2011-12-03 05:57 am UTC (link)
	You know. Candies. [Looking vastly uncomfortable] There were some that manipulated emotions. So, don't worry. It won't happen again. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	undyingideal 2011-12-03 08:48 pm UTC (link)
	... I-I see. I understand now. [The uncertainty isn't about his claim; she easily takes his word for it. But that means, all this time, it was only her that actually-- She gives her head a quick shake. It won't happen anymore on her part either, so there's no need to dwell on it any further] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_incurable 2011-12-03 09:00 pm UTC (link)
	I suppose I should apologize for that too, shouldn't I. [he's flushing quite a lot, but hopefully she'll take it for something else.] I didn't intend to do something you didn't like. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

undyingideal
2011-12-04 01:50 am UTC (link)

Not-- Not at all. You were not in full control of yourself. [If she seems a little... less composed than usual, it's not Zelgadis' mind playing tricks on him. She's making the best effort to fiddle with her shirt cuff to avoid direct eye contact-- to preoccupied by her own sinking thoughts to notice much off about him]

There is little blame I can place upon you for that, Master.

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	_incurable 2011-12-04 03:30 am UTC (link)
	[That 'Master' thing again... he fights down a rush of irritation, very deliberately.] Call me by my name. [pause, then he feels a little strange asking that...] If you're comfortable, I mean. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	undyingideal 2011-12-06 07:17 pm UTC (link)
	[Truthfully she has to watch herself more to keep verbally addressing him by title than name, when she constantly does the opposite in her mind, but she shakes her head anyways. Decorum and station have to be upheld by a Servant, after all] That is too familiar. I must refuse. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_incurable 2011-12-12 04:02 am UTC (link)
	[Refuse? He tries not to react, and his mostly successful for a fleeting moment.] You call everyone else by their name. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	undyingideal 2011-12-13 04:36 am UTC (link)
	I am not in service to any but you. [Simply; she honestly doesn't get his point here, and it's visible] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_incurable 2011-12-13 11:45 pm UTC (link)
	[...sigh.] Fine. If that's what you want. Look, I don't want to argue. Just enjoy your dinner. I spent all day on it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

undyingideal
2011-12-15 10:52 pm UTC (link)

[Right. It had been completely driven from her mind, and even though she turns back to sit at the table properly and it looks just as magnificent as before, she can't seem to find a real appetite for it. There's still something unsettled in her]

I see... [All that effort, for her. A tentative request comes in an even quieter voice. Maybe it will help]

Would you join me?

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	_incurable 2011-12-15 11:25 pm UTC (link)
	[He opens his mouth, likely about to say something about how that would just intrude on the distance she so wants, but he just got her to lighten up. Going through another argument isn't worth it.] [So he moves to grab another chair and sits. He's not much of an eater, but there's coffee.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	undyingideal 2011-12-15 11:52 pm UTC (link)
	[Eating together is what they've always done; it isn't intrusive to her. A small nod of her head, to thank him, and before digging in, she offers a small offhanded, yet grateful, comment] I dislike eating alone. [It wasn't like she had any other choice in Camelot, when her mere presence caused the Round Table to quiet. But it can be different here] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_incurable 2011-12-19 10:41 pm UTC (link)
	Right. [He pours himself some coffee, then grabs a bit of roast for good measure.] I'll remember that for the future. [he passes her the potatoes without exactly looking at her.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	undyingideal 2011-12-21 07:07 am UTC (link)
	[Accepts them with the quickest glance up at him, but eyes go back to her plate since he isn't looking up either. Totally just another meal, right] That would please me greatly. (Reply to this) (Parent)