[Have one (1) Dwight K. Schrute, staring quite sternly into the recording device.]
I demand to speak to the authorities here, immediately. There has been a grave error made in my imprisonment, as I am no criminal. If I could be called anything, it would be the exact opposite of a criminal... an anti-criminal, perhaps. You see, I happen to agree with your apparent stance that those who show blatant disregard to order and authority deserve to receive a swift, unforgiving sentence... and I am impressed with your subaquatic engineering and construction abilities.
I, however, can certainly pose no threat to the integrity of any timeline.
[Here he pauses, in thought.]
Unless... my timeline is destined to fall into an apocalyptic state, with humanity overrun by the hordes of the living dead. Were humanity destined to fall into ruin, I suppose I would pose quite the threat indeed, as would any Schrute. In such an event, any individual who had the ability to avert the destruction of the human race would have to be removed to preserve the timeline and its intended course...
[He trails off, looking down for a moment. Eventually, he looks back up, stares into the camera for a few additional seconds, and ends the transmission.]