arionrhod (arionrhod) wrote in lupin_snape, @ 2008-09-01 21:51:00 |
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Entry tags: | fic: r, prompt: fantasy fest 08 |
Fantasy Fest Fic: A Day In The Life, Part I
Title: A Day In The Life, Part I
Rating: R
Pairing: Severus Snape/Remus Lupin
Warnings: None
Dislcaimer: Not mine, wish they were
Summary: Severus Snape is given a chance - a single day to change the events of his life and save both himself and the man he loves from death; the only problem is convincing Remus that he wants to be saved!
Prompt: # 50 -- S is granted a chance to relive a single day in his lifetime and alter the events that unfold during that day (and beyond it). There are risks, of course, unless it's all an illusion and whatever he does is meaningless. OotP, Auror S and R.
A/N: With apologies for the lateness - I had started this fic twice and kept changing my mind about where I wanted it to go, then ran out of time. Hopefully I can produce what the prompter wished! I will be posting updates as fast as I can get them written!
So this is it at last - my death, Severus Snape thought. It ends not with a bang, or even a whimper, but in silence.
There was regret, but it was distant, as distant as his body felt as venom and blood loss slowly killed him. Closer was a sense of relief; Potter had been and gone, taking the memories Severus had permitted - carefully selected ones that would no doubt lead to certain conclusions, but Severus didn't really care. His real treasures he'd hoarded within, too strong an Occlumens even as his life emptied out onto the floor to let anyone see what truly lived on in his heart.
He didn't have the strength to even open his eyes any longer, but he could hear that he was alone, the silence thick around him, as thick as the scent of his blood. It wouldn't be long, he figured; the bezoar he'd swallowed in anticipation of Nagini's role had slowed the poison which should have killed him instantly, but it couldn't save him from his other injuries. He wasn't even sure if the war had been won or lost, not that it mattered now, he supposed. He'd done what he could, and at least the one person who mattered was safe, as safe as Severus could make him.
No, he's dead.
Severus didn't know where the voice came from, whether his dying mind produced it or if someone had actually spoken. It startled him into greater awareness, however, not merely because of its existence but because of the message.
"He's not," he said out loud, his voice slow and thick to his own ears.
There was only the silence in reply, as Severus strained to hear. Then it happened again.
He is. It happened nearly half an hour ago, the same time you should have died, too.
It wasn't a voice, Severus realized, it was a presence, something crowding in on his mind, sneaking up and catching him unawares as he was fading into the darkness of Oblivion. He could feel it there, but he spared no thought for how it had happened, or why; he was too busy fretting over the message it conveyed.
"You're lying." The words cost him, making his breath suddenly catch as a knife of pain shot through what was left of his body. But he had to say them, to make them real, because the alternative was unacceptable.
No, the only lie is the one you are telling to yourself. The answer came quickly this time. You want so badly to believe that your sacrifice saved him, but it didn't.
"Why..." He couldn't vocalize the rest of the question, or questions, really. Why hadn't it worked? Why was he being told this, now? Why, when he couldn't do anything about it?
Because you have a choice.
Despite his condition, Severus still felt an instinctive flare of wary suspicion, one that he couldn't articulate with appropriate snark, so he simply thought it. What kind of choice? Who are you?
It doesn't really matter, does it? The tone was reasonable, almost gentle. What is important is that you're being offered a rare gift, Severus Snape. A chance to change what is, to make it what could have been.
Why? Severus couldn't help but ask, even though the presence or whatever it was had been singularly unhelpful so far. If it really existed and wasn't the product of wishful thinking of a brain poised on the brink of death. How?
You will be allowed to relive a day in your past. One day, and the consequences thereof could... change things. There was a pause, and Severus almost fancied he heard a tone of dry amusement creep in. As for why... let us just say that a balance must be maintained, and a destiny to be fulfilled. He passed far too swiftly for intervention, but you still have a chance to set things right.
Whose destiny? Mine? Severus felt himself becoming weaker, but he desperately needed to understand. Was this even real? Or some near-death delusion plaguing his fading consciousness?
There is no time. The presence surged stronger, powerful, implacable, and Severus felt laid bare before it. Choose. What would you change, if you could? What would save him, and in doing so save yourself?
Severus couldn't think, his fragile grasp on consciousness slipping further and further away. There was a blur of memories swirling through his mind, too fast for him to latch on to any one of them fully, only flashes of emotion connected to moments he couldn't fully grasp. He was no longer breathing, at least not that he could tell, and the memories faded more, and more, the emotions they evoked seeming far off, distant - except for one brief flash of denial, pain and anger, enough to register even as he knew his life was done.
There! Severus felt the satisfaction in whatever presence it was sharing his death. It will do. Farewell, Severus Snape - I hope that we do not meet again; or at least not for a very, very long time.
A faint stir of curiosity was all Severus felt, then an even fainter regret. It was done, over, and he had failed, no matter what the delusion said. As he slipped away into the darkness at last, he wished for only one thing - that he could have seen the face of the man he loved one last time.