Pirates of the Caribbean (Jack Sparrow) [week 5, Prompt 1]
Title: Necessity is… Author: purple_alicorn Rating: FR14 Warnings: crack, Jack Sparrow Word Count: 254 Author's Notes: In honor of speak like a pirate day
Jack Sparrow was in a smidge of difficulty. He was being hunted by members of the East Indian Trading company as a pirate, which necessitated a small, temporary career change, until they stopped looking. He thought for a moment.
Option 1 - joining the Navy. No, not for him, while they did have rum he wasn’t interested in sodomy (well… not with the Navy) and definitely not the lash.
Option 2 – a priest disguise. He thought about this, then recalled what he had been repressing from his last time disguised. It wasn’t the births deaths or marriages that got him, but rather the confessions. He hadn’t known (and still wished he didn’t) that you could so that with potato peeler, canary and marshmallows. He shuddered at the thought.
Option 3 –fall back on something else he was famous for. Jack thought about this, he was famous for being Captain Jack Sparrow – not much help there. He was famous for his rum drinking – again not much help. His wenching – well more for bad luck thereof then. That sparked off a thought…
“Whose that new wench?” “Wot?” “The Ugly one?” “Dunno . But I know that I’m not drunk enough to sleep with her yet. Got a nice butt though”
Jack fumed silently, but couldn’t do anything. As yet another man slapped ‘her’ butt ‘she’ contemplated if staying uncaught was worth this. In the corner two men watched.
“Should we tell ‘im that we know who ‘e is?” “Not yet, I’m getting’ enough blackmail for years.’”