I have to confess, though, that I enjoyed the spot-on sneering and snarking, and the motorcycle-artist meta, probably even more than the spots of hot wanking.
That's usually the great joy for me in a Snack fic, too :)
over a decade in Azkaban topped off with a round trip to whatever realm was on the other side of that artifact in the Department of Mysteries
This line almost became my favorite way of expressing this, "Azkaban Gardens and Day Spa"... but somehow I couldn't picture Severus thinking that to himself. :)