Tiffles? Tiffles, please stop snivelling in the corner and pay attention. I do not wish you to iron your hands, I would much prefer that you listen and learn for the future: the bronze medallion in the display case is not to be polished. The patina of Great-Grandfather's commemorative award is to be preserved just as it is. It's a matter of taste, not merely in antiquities but in obscuring the misspellings that were cast into the dreadful thing. You understand, Tiffles? Very good.
Now stop crying and go buff the carpeting in the library.