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Tweak says, "then it fell out he window"

beholder_mod (beholder_mod) wrote in hp_beholder,
@ 2008-04-28 15:10:00

Entry tags:

aberforth dumbledore, augusta longbottom, fic, frank longbottom sr, het, minerva mcgonagall, petunia dursley, vernon dursley

FIC: 'All Things Right and Proper' for lyras
Recipient: lyras
Author: donnaimmaculata
Title: All Things Right and Proper
Rating: R for darkish themes, language, some sexual contents and allusions to drug abuse
Pairings: Petunia Dursley/Vernon Dursley, Augusta Longbottom/Frank Longbottom Sr., Minerva McGonagall/Aberforth Dumbledore
Word Count: 24,700
Warnings: Vernon Dursley as a lust object. Yeah, I know.
Summary: During the Dark Lord's rise to power, three women struggle for their families, their love and their lives. Or, in less summer-blockbuster-y words: Glimpses into the lives of Petunia, Minerva and Augusta during the events of The Deathly Hallows
Author's Notes: Lyras, you asked for character studies, women kicking ass, plot, characters who aren't black or white, 'fade to black' rather than PWP, UST, working around canon, angst with hope. I tried to squeeze in as many of your requests as possible. Hope you enjoy!
Bonus points for everyone who spots the obscure crossover.

***
Click here to read 'All Things Right and Proper'

Don't forget to return to this post to leave feedback for the author!

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lyras
2008-04-28 10:14 pm UTC (link)

Firstly, mystery author, you should know that I squeed when I read the summary and pairings. Thank you so much for meeting so many of my requests :). And I'm very glad I got up early this morning, so I could read this before work took over.

Secondly, I predict that this review is going to be very long, very jumbled and very happy!

I love the beginning - so Petunia, but with a bitter note that we rarely get to see in canon. And Dedalus's wittering is just perfect for him. I love our initial view of Dudley here, the way he can calm Petunia's panic. And the reminder that they're in an absolutely terrifying situation, with no idea of what the future will bring.

The first scene with Minerva is dully evocative, if I can say that, and perfect for her mood. And I so heart your Augusta, arming herself for her day/visit to St Mungo's. This is a wonderful introduction to all three women.

It was the brush with magic that had changed her son, just as it had changed her sister, all those years back. And while she herself had been so fortunate as to escape the madness of the magical world before, she was now being dragged right into it, and her husband and her son were being dragged with her.

This sums up so many of my thoughts about Petunia and why she's so bitter about magic. And ahhh, I love her initial perception of Minerva.

Re obscure crossover: is the drunk the father from Shameless? :D

Oh, gosh, I love so many of the details. Minerva's bewildered opinion of the Dursleys, the comparison between Petunia and Lily, Albus the White and Aberforth the Grey (*channels Gandalf*), the quiet conversation between Minerva and Aberforth...

Augusta searching for her husband in her son's face - lovely. And I love that you keep the image of the family snuggling up together to "special occasions"; it underlines the distance in the family.

Your vision of the Dursleys and their reactions to their exile is so similar to mine. I can completely see Vernon staring into space and Dudley taking refuge in his weights.

I lovelovelove the way you're setting up the Dursleys' relationship. Petunia's sudden surge of affection and desire is completely plausible, and oh, "This is all your fault..." makes me ache for her.

"It would be a disaster for this school if we lost you."

This is a lovely portrayal of Severus so far. To the reader, it's clear that he's walking a fine line; to Minerva, not so much.

"Professor Minerva"! ♥ Also, you've really got inside Aberforth's character here.

Augusta Longbottom didn't approve of that attitude.

No, I can imagine she wouldn't. *g* I love Augusta carrying on with her life as if nothing had changed.

"...He's turned out well," she added proudly. "Just like his father before him. And his father before him."

*wells up with tears and hearts you* And woo, so much love for the conversation between Augusta and Algie, and the sudden explosion of emotion.

when the delinquent children from next door (she had not yet found out how many there were

It is Shameless! *hearts you more than ever* Also, hee, Dudley!

Ahhh, more emotional explosions. Clearly this is a kink I should be requesting more often. Your characterisation is simply brilliant here - Petunia, Dudley, Vernon...The sex is most believable (and a little sad) as well.

Love the confrontation between Minerva and Vernon, Vernon and Dudley, and then the slight entente between Minerva and Petunia. Perfect. And ahaha, Minerva going all professory on Dudley!

I really don't want to stop, but my boyfriend is about to get up and I need to start work. So I'll post this part of my review and get to the rest as soon as I can!

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(Anonymous)
2008-04-28 11:05 pm UTC (link)

Thank you so much for the best review ever :-D

I am so thrilled that you liked it. I enjoyed writing it immensely and it's so gratifying to see that I met your taste. And that you find the silly little things funny with which I was cracking myself up whilst writing ("Aberforth the Grey"...) (The crossover is Shameless. I'm so happy that you're familiar with the show - although I was trying to keep it subtle so that you don't miss out anything if you aren't.)

I was actually hoping I would get to write Petunia for this exchange, and so your request had made me quite happy. And then I decided to throw in Minerva, too, and Augusta for good measure (because three is a good number for witches). It was only after I had finished the fic that I came across an older post of yours in which you were discussing how much you like Augusta, so my complete stab in the dark had proved lucky.

And even though you didn't have anything to do with the assignment: Thank you for providing me with a request that resulted in so much fun writing!

The greatest challenge was, of course, to write Vernon as sexy.

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lyras
2008-04-29 04:49 am UTC (link)

I have rambled a bit about this story here :).

Seriously, you couldn't have picked three/four better characters to work with as far as I'm concerned.

Your Vernon was terrifyingly true to canon :D. I loved what you did with all the Dursleys - the fact that, for example, even near the end, when Petunia has shown signs of character development, she's still faffing around trying to serve tea for everyone and cleaning manically. Dudley, of course, gets a real bit of character development, and that's lovely to see. But I think it's sort of right that Vernon never changes. Because you just know he won't! And yet you still made Petunia's attraction to him plausible.

*stops rambling*

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(Anonymous)
2008-04-29 03:38 pm UTC (link)

Thank you very much for reccing :-) I'm thrilled - thrilled! - that you liked it so much.

when Petunia has shown signs of character development, she's still faffing around trying to serve tea for everyone and cleaning manically

I've been thinking, actually, that none of these characters really changes all that much. Even in canon, they're pretty much set in their ways, and I was trying to convey that even though these people are fighting against a common enemy, what they are really fighting for is the preservation of their way of life. They don't seriously try to understand and get along with the others, they merely want everything back to normal. For example, when putting down my very first notes for this fic, I wasn't sure yet where I would be going with Petunia and Vernon. The basic concept was: Minerva and Aberforth - new love; Augusta and Frank Sen. - lost love; Petunia and Vernon - established relationship, and I was considering having Petunia leave Vernon, because she experiences character development and growth and he doesn't. But I abandoned that pretty quickly, because I didn't think that Petunia would leave everything behind. She likes her middle-class life and its order and she wants it all back.

Vernon, of course, never had the least chance to grow, the poor man.

See me ramble about my own fic... But I simply couldn't leave your lovely comments uncommented.

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lyras
2008-05-15 11:48 am UTC (link)

I couldn't reply to this earlier because I had things to say about the Dursleys that might have given away my own story. But yes, I went through the same process of considering whether Petunia might leave Vernon and deciding that, for now, she wouldn't.

She likes her middle-class life and its order and she wants it all back.

And this is precisely why. Just another example of how you hit my thoughts dead on with this story :).

And you're quite right, of course, that most of the characters don't really change, and that's partly why I love them - they're curmudgeonly and set in their ways! But they're also fundamentally nice (well, except for Vernon; perhaps well-intentioned would be a better word than nice), and it was lovely to see them all brought together here.

Thank you again!

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donnaimmaculata
2008-05-15 02:16 pm UTC (link)

Yes, I found it very amusing to see after the reveals that I have written a Petunia that was similar to your Petunia.

Well-intentioned is very well put. The great thing about the HP characters (most of them - maybe except of those who are downright evil) is that they are convinced they're doing the right thing and, at the same time, are blessed with the incapability of seeing and understanding a different point of view.

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Part 2!

lyras
2008-04-29 04:42 am UTC (link)

Hee for Augusta being mistaken for a Muggle curiosity. And :D:D to her conversation with Aberforth!

OMG, Petunia's taking drugs! But eek, I'm so worried about her. But phew, it's OK, because she was saved by the girl from the shop in Shameless. *g* Also, you're spot on with the Dursleys' choice of newspapers!

It was thrilling and a bit insane, and it was something that Sirius Black would have delighted it, and which Albus would have supported and which Harry Potter would have been caught and given detention for

I just love all the details in this line. Plus, the Minerva/Aberforth romance is bringing out all my latent sappiness.

he would have been treated to the sight of the little old lady from Wishing Well Cottage speeding through the air on a broomstick, her long cloak and her high, thin cackle trailing after her

So much love for this line :D. Go, Augusta!

We are making sacrifices, why not you? You yourself," he pointed a thick finger at Hestia, "why not put on some nice dress and go and run into that headmaster in his office and then lure him into some dungeon or other? Pretty girl like you-

oh, my GOD, you have Vernon spot on. Ow!

Ooh, ooh, ooh, Augusta's going to stay with the Dursleys and it's all coming together.

Are you jealous, Grumpy Bear?

*giggles* Oh, god, how awful!

I am simply loving the Minerva/Aberforth scenes as a counterpoint to everything else.

Again, I love your Augusta viewpoint, both of the Dursleys and the litany of letters. And lol at Dudley's novel suggestion of the post office!

I really like the way Petunia's relationship with Lily plays an increasing role towards the end. Finally, I love the hope in that last scene.

Thank you so, so much for this wonderful story, full of fantastic details. I am seriously overwhelmed by what a good job you've done of writing to my requests. And it's great to take a look at what some of the minor characters were doing during Deathly Hallows. Thank you again! ♥

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quill_lumos
2008-04-29 07:45 am UTC (link)

This story really should have far more reviews than it does as it is absolutely wonderful. I love the way that you have skillfully drawn all the characters. Dudley's slow growth, Petunia's reluctant support for the magical world. The gradual embracing of Muggle methods, to escape, to communicate. I love the fact that the Dursley's protectors try to help them settle in by purchasing the newspapers only to get it so hopelessly wrong and get the Guardian and the Independant, rather than the Mail or the Telegraph. I love the way that Augusta is as prejudiced in her way as Petunia is and the way that they all seem to end up together, somehow offering a sort of support for eachother, just before the end.

I think you capture the stagnant air of waiting so well and the desperate hope and bravery of Kingsley and Remus and Severus Snape, who almost, but not quite reaches out to Minerva.

I have just one complaint. I would have liked more.

Wonderful story.

Lucie xx

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donnaimmaculata
2008-05-14 08:55 am UTC (link)

Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback. I was trying to convey that these characters - despite having a common goal - aren't really able to understand each other and that any collaboration would be reluctant and evolve gradually. So yay for this working out.

I wanted to put even more Snape in it, but I was running out of time. I think his relationship with Minerva during DH must have been highly fascinating: She knew that he knew she was in the Order, so how did she act around him?

You know what? I would have liked to write more, too, but the aforementioned time problem presented itself.

Thanks again for commenting. I'm very glad you enjoyed it :-)

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	ex_kaycee154 2008-04-30 12:52 am UTC (link)
	This was wonderful--from the characterisations to all the little details, and the underlying feeling of dread that gradually turns to careful hope. Also, I love your Augusta. Brilliant story. :) (Reply to this) (Thread)

	donnaimmaculata 2008-05-14 08:58 am UTC (link)
	Thank you so much. I'm very glad you enjoyed it. Augusta was interesting to write, because I've never attempted to interpret her character before, so it was wholly new ground. I was quite surprised at times about where she would insist on going g (Reply to this) (Parent)

	shocfix 2008-05-01 06:09 pm UTC (link)
	oh. my. god. that was incredible. is speechless (Reply to this) (Thread)

	donnaimmaculata 2008-05-14 08:59 am UTC (link)
	Thanks! I appreciate you saying that despite the sad lack of Harry/Ron! (Reply to this) (Parent)

irislock
2008-05-02 08:09 pm UTC (link)

Here on a rec from lyras. I abandoned all my other reading for the last few days and have concentrated only on this - and it was well worth it. This is utterly masterful. There is so much rich detail and captivating storytelling that I won't catalogue everything, but I will say that your Minerva is all things wise and wonderful - I just love her in this. I like your observations of her as a cat, and her conversation with Snape took my breath away - you walked a tightrope of trust and nuance there and never missed a beat.

Nice to see Augusta fleshed out as a character - and I had to laugh at Algernon (with flowers!)

Petunia - I didn't think anyone could make me like her, and I had doubts until very near the end as to whether or not we would see her strong side - but you brought it out beautifully and believably - her helping Muggleborns escape was very clever. Also - where Vernon says "This is all your fault?" gave me chills because he has that very same reaction in my head.

And Dudley? so much love for Dudley being human and helpful.

Wonderful, wonderful job.

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donnaimmaculata
2008-05-14 06:27 pm UTC (link)

I'm very glad you didn't regret abandoning all your other readings. Good to know you enjoyed it!

Minerva has always been one of my absolute favourites, so thank you for finding her "wise and wonderful". I wish I had had more time to explore her relationship with Snape in this. It must have been highly charged during Deathly Hallows, and I would have loved to include more conversations with Snape - anyway, the one that's in the fic apparently worked out okay, which is good to know.

Petunia was the character I was hoping to write for this challenge. I don't actually like her myself, but it was very interesting to write from her point of view. The motivations of all her actions are highly selfish, even though she is granted some growth. Big D is the only one of the Dursleys who is allowed real growth and character development.

Thank you so much for your feedback :-)

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	atdelphi 2008-05-04 10:06 pm UTC (link)
	stunned Oh wow, oh wow. This is simply phenomenal - brilliantly original and wonderfully crafted. Thank you for this lovely surprise of a story, Mystery Author! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	donnaimmaculata 2008-05-14 06:30 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you for your comment. I'm very glad you enjoyed it. It was so much fun to write. (Reply to this) (Parent)

miramiraficfic
2008-05-06 08:33 pm UTC (link)

This story does need more reviews, and I'm sorry for not giving one before now, but there's just so much to take in. Petunia in particular is wonderful in this; I love watching her balance her genuine affection for Vernon with her growing involvement with the wizards. Really, though, any one of the characters you've used would have made a fantastic lead on their own, and to bring them all together...great job.

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donnaimmaculata
2008-05-14 06:36 pm UTC (link)

Ah, I'm guilty myself for saving long fics for later reading or printing them out, which means that I often don't leave comments straightaway. Thank you for getting round to commenting, though! I really appreciate it :-)

Petunia was the character I was hoping to write for this challenge, especially after I had decided that she would end up married to Vernon. (I was toying with the idea of having her leave him, but decided that would have been the easy option. Writing Vernon as loved and desired was part of the fun.) And then Minerva and Augusta kinda decided they wanted to play, too...

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	sweetmelodykiss 2008-05-12 08:52 am UTC (link)
	A lovely piece of writing. Very well done! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	donnaimmaculata 2008-05-14 06:36 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you very much. I'm glad you enjoyed it :-) (Reply to this) (Parent)

	libitina 2008-05-22 01:53 pm UTC (link)
	Wow - thank you - you cover pretty much the whole epic scale of book seven with everyone else being everyday heroes. I love it very much. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	donnaimmaculata 2008-05-25 12:29 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you so much. I really enjoyed coming up with stories for these characters, and I'm glad you liked my take on them. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	venturous 2008-05-24 09:32 pm UTC (link)
	this story is such a treasure, the way it illuminates the 'minor' characters. I didnt think I would care much about the Dursleys, but I found myself cheering for all of them, especially helpful!Dudley. Augusta is wonderful, I love getting to see the vulture topped hat! g There is so much we don't get in DH, thank you for this. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	donnaimmaculata 2008-05-25 12:32 pm UTC (link)
	I actually don't like the Dursleys very much, but their story during DH must have been fascinating. And I really wanted to try writing them coming to terms with the wizarding world. I'm glad you liked Augusta - I didn't have any defined concept of her before I wrote this story, and it was fun coming up with details of her life. Thanks a lot for your feedback! (Reply to this) (Parent)

(Anonymous)
2008-07-08 02:03 am UTC (link)

*squeaks*

I'm discovering this a little late, but what a powerful piece! The characterization was truly wonderful; you added such dimension to these "minor" characters. The end was especially brilliant, and the line, On the morning of May 1, Harry Potter broke into Gringotts and stole a dragon is what caused me to literally squeak. I have such a thing for underground movements. *g*

The time I spent reading this was time very well spent indeed.

- schnuggleme (on LJ)

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donnaimmaculata
2008-07-08 04:07 pm UTC (link)

I'm glad you've found your way here :-) Thanks a lot for commenting.

Coming up with the characterisation for all these characters was so much fun - especially Augusta, of whom I didn't have a pre-defined concept - so it's good to know they worked for you. The dragon bit was fun, too - I thought that this would be the only bit of information that people would have had at this point, as no-one knew that Harry was after the Sword.

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	kelly_chambliss 2011-06-29 03:43 am UTC (link)
	I know I'm years too late with this comment, but I love this story. The characterizations build so well on canon and are yet so much more complex, compelling, and interesting. Even the cameos (Severus, the Carrows, Dedaelus) are perfect. Such a satisfying read. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	donnaimmaculata 2011-06-30 07:16 am UTC (link)
	Thank you so much for your lovely comment! It's made me insanely happy: this is probably my favourite among my own stories, I loved writing it, and it's really good to know that there is someone out there who reads it after all these years :-) (Reply to this) (Parent)

therealsnape
2011-10-20 07:39 pm UTC (link)

I'm exceedingly late to the party, but Kelly Chambliss rec'ced you on Crack_broom over at LJ today - and your Muriel/Griphook is one of my all-time favourites, so I rushed over.

What a wonderfully-complex story you've woven! And all three women stand out so beautifully. Each of them is perfectly IC. Petunia in her (sometimes blind) love for her husband and son, but you actually show us what she sees in them - in a perfectly convincing way.

It was wonderful to read what exactly happened when Dawlish came. And the final image of Augusta on broom, against a moonlit sky, complete with witch hat and cackle, is brilliant. As is the description of Augusta the Village Witch, ensuring that her kind neighbour's crops do just that little bit better.

And Minerva is beautifully IC, too. Wry, human, tired on occasions, but still a strong fighter. Her affair with Aberforth, and Aberforth himself, is so very well done. I love Aberforth's sense of humour. What Ariana would have looked like with a beard. And of course there was nothing inappropriate about that charm on a goat.

One of the things I admire most in your story is the many cameos we get, all so perfectly rounded. The Pakistani shop-owner. The inhabitants of Augusta's village (that event with the boy who recited the dubious poem was so telling!), and Lee Jordan coming to the Safe House.

This was such a wonderful treat; thank you!

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donnaimmaculata
2011-10-21 07:02 am UTC (link)

I ♥ people being late to the party :-) Getting a comment on an old story is such a lovely treat. I saw that Kelly Chambliss has recced this fic, but I haven't got round to thanking her yet.

I loved writing this story; the ideas just kept piling up and I'm glad that the characters came out all right. Except Minerva, whom I adore, I have never written any of these characters before and I wasn't sure where they would lead me. I also developed a rather embarrassing crush on Aberforth - beard, goats and all. And it was fun to squeeze in the cameos and to write some of my favourite characters, such as Snape and Lupin, from the perspective of someone who doesn't like them.

Thank you so much for taking your time to comment! I'm very glad you liked it :-)

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dexstarr
2011-10-31 02:09 am UTC (link)

I'm here on Kelly Chambliss's rec, and am so glad I read this.

I was quite sad when the fic ended, because I didn't want to leave the lovely world you had created. For the first time, I actually liked Petunia in a fic, and I saw in an earlier comment that you're not a fan of the Dursleys either. I couldn't tell, though, and I think you did a great job fleshing them (and Augusta and Aberforth and everyone else) out. Augusta's letters nearly broke my heart.

Fantastic job.

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