It had been a long, exhausting weekend. A pile of homework plus a double shift at the bookstore had given Calvin very little free time, but honestly he preferred it that way. More work meant less time for contemplation, and Calvin had decided that thinking was, at this point, the worst thing he could do for himself. He'd still found ways to amuse himself at work, however. He'd began spending his hours among the bookshelves entertaining himself by looking into the future to see who would eventually buy certain books. The literary tastes of some people amused him, and it was a good way to practice, so long as he didn't spend too much time in his trance. Calling the visions became easier every time he tried, and he was even learning to find specific information, as long as he had a vague notion of what to look for. He'd found that the key to staying in control was keeping his emotions in check, which is why practicing on items to which he had no emotional connection had become so easy. Still, as long as he stayed calm and unaffected, he could rise above the tide of uncertainty that threatened him every time he dared enter his trance state. It wasn't exactly... fun, but Calvin certainly appreciated the newfound sense of security his practicing had given him.
Of course, it couldn't last.
Calvin dragged his feet a little as he tromped up the stairs to his room, fully intending on going to bed early. He only spent a few minutes on the computer, checking his email and looking over the recent postings in the journals. Everyone seemed to be talking about the dance. Calvin sighed heavily and closed the computer, pushing away from his desk so he could get ready for bed. He wouldn't go, of course. He had no reason to. It was funny... Valentine's Day had never made him feel particularly sad or lonely before. In the old world, the pre-Katie world, Calvin had honestly been perfectly content to spend the day playing video games with his best friends, but now...
Switching off the light, Calvin curled up in his bed, staring into the darkness for a few minutes and doing the one thing he'd been trying not to do all weekend: think. Who would go to the dance, he wondered. He shivered a little. There was a way to find out. Closing his eyes, Calvin calmed his breathing and cleared his mind, focusing on a single objective. "Katie," he murmured softly, allowing the the soft curves of her face to fill his mind's eye. He smiled gently as the image came into focus.
Her dress was beautiful, but her smile even more so. It had been a long time since Calvin had seen that smile in reality, but it was comforting, somehow, to see it now, on some future Katie's face. And it didn't take much searching to find Gideon in the image and understand that he was responsible, one way or another, for putting it there.
Calvin managed to swallow the lump in his throat and turned his mind's eye away from the bittersweet image, distracting himself by focusing on someone else. "Jacen," he instructed himself. The future laughter of his classmates filled his ears and Calvin's mind was awash in smiling faces for a few seconds before the image began to spin, to change. There were Jacen and Annie, talking together, laughing, dancing, smiling. It was wonderful to see them both so happy.
That left one more musketeer to look in on, and the Calvin's next voiced command was really more of a question. "Ben?" Again, laughter and music filled his ears for a second, although suddenly everything went quiet. Calvin hadn't felt his control slipping, but somehow he'd lost all knowledge of time and place. There were only two faces now, both connected by lip lock. One of them was obviously Ben, but the other... as the image zoomed out Calvin's mouth fell open. His sister. His sister and his best friend. Charlie's voice sounded in his ears, serious, firm. "We should tell Calvin."
Shock gripped Calvin's heart like a vice, and shock, above all things, was Calvin's worst enemy when he was looking in to the future. Any semblance of control snapped like a twig as he was plunged into the hated realm of sights and sounds beyond his ken.
Macy Jones, worry on her face, was hurrying down the street. Cold. Ice. She slipped, a hand reached for her and... gold. Macy's frightened eyes looked up in awe as a golden statue cast glittering patterns over the snow. Calvin knew that face, that stony expression. It was the mayor. Oh God. Oh God. She was like Midas--
In Calvin's panic, new images flicked past at alarming speed, blurring and spinning like colors on a roulette wheel. Over the incomprehensible blur of confused imagery only one thing was distinct: his voice, his own frightened voice chanting softly. "Turning and turning in the widening gyre,/the falcon cannot hear the falconer,"
Calvin didn't know the poem, but clearly one day he would. And well. His lips moved almost involuntarily and his bursting ears didn't hear himself speaking his own name. "Calvin."
And Calvin saw himself, his eyes glazed and his gait wobbly, drunken. He didn’t hear the words this terrifying, future version of himself was uttering, but his body language alone was enough. Calvin watched in horror as he confronted classmate after classmate, kicking and screaming when the adults finally dragged him away. "Things fall apart." the future-Calvin’s voice thundered in his counterpart’s ears. "The centre cannot hold! The centre.... the centre..."