dhorrible_mod (dhorrible_mod) wrote in deeply_horrible, @ 2013-05-06 04:37:00 |
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Entry tags: | *2013 fest, *ss2013, rating: pg-13, type: fic |
Sloppy Seconds Day 1: The Minister Will Hear of This
Title: The Minister will hear of this
Author: of_anoesis
Pairing: Snape/Umbridge
Rating: T
Prompt: Asexual!Snape sees advantage in being with someone, even if he suffers of great boredom
Content Information/Warnings: Spoilers for OooP, should anyone not have finished that particular tome yet.
Summary: The Inquisitorial Squad weren't the only Slytherins to benefit under Dolores' rule.
Author's Notes: This started as a far longer, much more involved piece, but I just couldn't wrangle all the pieces together. Huge thanks to desigrl who helped me see the light. This fic would not have been written without her unflinching aid.
He had been over generous with the raspberry pips; there was no other explanation for it.
Perhaps attempting to drug Hogwarts High Inquisitor and former Senior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic had been a step too far, but honestly, Severus had been at his wits end. It was all well and good for the Dark Lord to wish to recruit her to his cause, but He had the sort of personality that could charm Bellatrix bloody Lestrange.
Severus did not.
His attempts weren't helped by the woman herself. She was abrasive, impatient and rude. And short. The shortness had never really been an issue before, but if the kiss lasted any longer he would be in grave danger of throwing his back out. Severus was beginning to see her diminutive stature as a personal affront.
Perhaps the raspberries had been overripe? That was the danger with using ingredients out of season – you could never be certain of their quality. But surely a slight surfeit of fructose would not have been enough to engender this sort of reaction? Perhaps he had miscalculated the dosage?
Rearranging his grip on what he hoped to be her waist, Severus gave an experimental heft and felt his back twinge.
No, she certainly wasn't lighter than she looked.
Viewed academically, it was fascinating.