LJ-SEC: (ORIGINALLY POSTED BY njtech)

Colorado Rockies look to sign and trade for players who have *character*

PS: Having jesus Christ as your personal lord & savior = character

read the comments, they're hilarious. I got this info from a daily humor list I subscribe to, and below the cut are The Top 16 Signs a Sports Team Has Been Born Again

16> Instead of the traditional over-the-head dousing at the end of
the game, the coach is dunked backwards into the water cooler.

15> "Bring your daughter to the ballpark for free mascara on
Tammy Faye Bakker Day!"

14> Habit-wearing cheerleaders shouting, "Smite them again!
Smite them again! Harder, harder!"

13> Koufax keeps getting beaned at the Old Timers' Game.

12> Only divine intervention could explain the staggering
increase in Barry Bonds' home run totals.

11> Everybody on the team-chartered party boat experienced
the rapture.

10> The concession stand only stocks five hot dogs and two Bud
Lights, yet miraculously feeds the hungry stadium every time.

9> "And starting at center, also out of Holy Cross...."

8> Unmarried players always hold at third base instead of going
all the way.

7> First and 10: a Hail Mary pass.
Second and 10: a Hail Mary pass.
Third and 10: a Hail Mary pass.
Fourth and-- oh, for the love of Christ, PUNT!

6> Whenever a player breaks a leg, Benny Hinn comes out and
makes him walk again.

5> Three words: holy water boys.

4> Pre-game warmup drills include 15 minutes of slam dunking
into each other's halos.

3> Their home stadium's beer selection: Bud, Bud Light or the
Bud of Christ.

2> With 30 seconds to go and a 10-point lead, the quarterback
takes a knee -- and the center hands him a wafer.


and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign a
Sports Team Has Been Born Again...


1> "I'm going to Disneyland -- to protest until Donald Duck
puts on some pants!"

After every touchdown the team gathers in the end zone for the
sacrificial slaughter of a lamb.

Although you've never seen a team use them before in a gymnastics
competition, there's something oddly familiar about those
perpendicular bars.

Every pep talk from the coach is met with, "Yeah, yeah, you're
preaching to the choir here."

Instead of AC/DC's "Hell's Bells," the Padres' Trevor Hoffman now
triumphantly takes the mound to the organ stylings of Miss Beulah
Crump playing "Love Lifted Me."

Spitballs loaded with pitcher's own stigmata blood.

The post-game buffet spread? Nothing but loaves and fishes.

The seventh-inning stretch has been replaced by the fourth-inning
fast.

The swim team wins every free-style race by sprinting across the
pool.

Their fullback parts the defense using a wooden staff.

They rename the "Hail Mary" pass to the "Mary-was-an-important
figure-but-don't-hail-her-or even-pay-much-attention
to-her-Praise-only-Jesus" pass.

Top-notch marketing department got Jesus himself to throw out the
first pitch.

Turning the other cheek leads to the first-ever 6 on 1 in an NHL
game.

Umpires yell, "Out!" or "Saved!"

Your team's Four Horsemen are the real McCoy.

"Bobblehead Moses Day."

As soon as an error is committed, it's forgiven.

Courtside folding chairs have been replaced with red velvet pews.

Easy traffic leaving the stadium on "Rapture Night."

Forget "the cream" and "the clear" -- the entire lot of them are
busted for injecting each other with holy water.

Most teams douse their coach with Gatorade after a big win. Your
team? Amniotic fluid.


Outfielders miss every pop fly lecturing fans about drinking beer
or dancing to those catchy organ riffs.

Players now understand umpires with more "forgiving" strike zones.

Saint Clemens once again rises from the dead to lead your team to
the promised land.

Sure, it's a trinity, but your team isn't interested in Felipe or
Matty.

The newly-renamed Kansas City King Davids, despite their tiny
payroll, are suddenly slaughtering the league's premier
high-priced teams.

The offensive line's willingness to turn the other cheek hasn't
done much for their passing game.

They lose every game on purpose trusting that "the last shall be
first."

Through 82 games, your goalie has an amazing 54,565 saves.

Trash talk with other team involves the Holy Wrath of the Lord
being visited upon homosexuals and fornicators.

You're undefeated against the New Jersey Devils.