Tweak

InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I don't care about the money."

Username: 
Password:    
Remember Me
  • Create Account
  • IJ Login
  • OpenID Login
Search by : 
  • View
    • Create Account
    • IJ Login
    • OpenID Login
  • Journal
    • Post
    • Edit Entries
    • Customize Journal
    • Comment Settings
    • Recent Comments
    • Manage Tags
  • Account
    • Manage Account
    • Viewing Options
    • Manage Profile
    • Manage Notifications
    • Manage Pictures
    • Manage Schools
    • Account Status
  • Friends
    • Edit Friends
    • Edit Custom Groups
    • Friends Filter
    • Nudge Friends
    • Invite
    • Create RSS Feed
  • Asylums
    • Post
    • Asylum Invitations
    • Manage Asylums
    • Create Asylum
  • Site
    • Support
    • Upgrade Account
    • FAQs
    • Search By Location
    • Search By Interest
    • Search Randomly

Susan Bones ([info]bl_susan) wrote in [info]bloodlines_rp,
@ 2009-09-11 07:35:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:charlie weasley, loc: private residence (diagon), loc: st. mungo's, nicky bones (npc), nov 2002, susan bones, type: rp

When the Sky is Falling
Date & Time: 11 November 2002 | Evening
Post Type: RP
Status: Closed: Complete
Character(s): Susan Bones, Charlie Weasley, Nicky Bones (NPC)
Location: Susan's flat, St. Mungo's
Summary: Susan just wants to tell Charlie the truth, but life has different plans.


Susan was a nervous wreck. She'd been hoping that having a dinner party at her mum's with her mum's friends would keep her mind off of the evening and the conversation she was going to have with Charlie, but it had only made her more agitated in the end. Nicky had been fine with being passed around most of the night, but even his usually happy countenance had been shaken by the end of the party. He was fussy, and she couldn't help but wonder how much was him being tired and how much was a result of her own mood.

"Shh," she soothed, laying him back down in his bed. She ran a hand in small circles on his back, which usually had him knocked out in a matter of minutes. It didn't seem to be working tonight, though, which was frustrating. "Don't want daddy's first impression of you to be that you're a crier, do you, love?"

Leaving him for the moment, she crossed the room to her little dining table and took a sip of the water she'd left there. Between the anxiety and the crying, she was already getting a headache. She was contemplating digging a potion from the bathroom cupboard when she heard a knock at the door behind her.

She smoothed down her dress, turned and reached for the doorknob, pulling it open before she could convince herself it was okay to ignore it for a another few minutes. The sight of him brought out a smile, despite her nerves. "Hi, Charlie. You don't have to use the door, you know."


(Post a new comment)


[info]bl_charlie
2009-09-11 08:53 pm UTC (link)
This had been the longest Friday in the history of all possible Fridays. He had tried to distract himself with work, and done a fairly decent job, especially when one of the eggs finally began to crack. They didn't have a new baby just yet, but it would likely be over the weekend. Of course, this was just anticipation heaped onto anticipation. By the time he found himself climbing the steps to Susan's flat, small gift bags in hand, he was a jangle of nerves.

As soon as the door open and he saw Susan's face, a level of calm made him smile. He heard the baby- Nicky- crying from nearby, and it only made him smile more deeply. Finally, finally he would be meeting Susan's son. "Well, I didn't want to just assume," he said as he came inside, pausing to give her a lingering hug and a kiss on her cheek. "Belated birthday greetings."

Of course, that calm was ruffled a bit by the dress Susan was wearing. He smoothed a hand down her back, loving the feel of the soft knit. In a rather husky tone, he said, "You look bloody amazing."

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]bl_susan
2009-09-12 12:17 am UTC (link)
Charlie stepped inside and hugged her, and Susan felt herself relax in his arms. He'd always had that effect on her, to sooth her worries and upsets, and it seemed odd that it even happened when he was the worry. "We did plan it late," she pointed out as she pulled away. "So it doesn't really count as belated. But thanks and thanks. Hannah made it for me."

Stepping out of his arms, she closed the door behind him, then glanced toward Nicky's bed once again. It wasn't like him to cry like this, and it was starting to bother her. He'd always been such an amiable baby, and he'd been a good sleeper, even when he'd been days old. "Nicky's in a right state tonight," she said apologetically. "I never thought he could suffer from getting too much attention."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_charlie
2009-09-12 12:19 am UTC (link)
As Susan stood his arms, Charlie thought he felt her relax. This, of course, served to make his slowly abating anxiety redouble. He felt it form a sort of unpleasant lump in his stomach when she stepped out of his arms, in a way that felt natural and not necessarily like the was running. That was good, right?

"All the same, I'd meant to send you a little note or something on the day, but work got completely away from me. It's a good thing I got Rubbish something to appease her anger, else that cat would never speak to me again. And Hannah's a rather fantastic knitter. Good Lord, but I am prattling a bit. Sorry."

When Susan tried to explain away Nicky's crying, Charlie shook his head. "Eh, we all get tired and cranky sometimes. You remember me after a particularly long day. I'm sure I was just as weepy." He took a couple of steps toward Nicky's bed before he stopped himself. He looked back and asked, "May I?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_susan
2009-09-12 12:21 am UTC (link)
It took her a moment to process his words, the arrangement and context not seeming to make any sense. Then, finally, her mind worked through them, and she was unable to hold back a laugh. "Rubbish? You named your cat Rubbish?"

Charlie moved into the room, and Susan realised that he was walking toward Nicky. Immediately she tensed again, still feeling completely unprepared for the moment, despite having thought about it more times than she could count. She debated internally for a half a second over whether to tell him first and then introduce them, or to see how they reacted to one another first. She was saved the decision by a particularly loud wail.

Susan gave Charlie another apologetic look, crossing quickly to Nicky's bed and picking him up. Maybe the mashed up bits of food he'd eaten at Mum's hadn't settled well with him. She rubbed his back, resting her cheek on the top of his head and making little soothing noises. Turning back to Charlie, she said, "Well, this is Nicky. I'm thinking singer? Maybe teacher. Put rowdy students right in their place with that voice."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_charlie
2009-09-12 12:22 am UTC (link)
Yes, Katie was right. It was an awful name. "Well, I didn't have any intention of keeping her, but she managed to wriggle her way into my heart. By the time I realised I was going to be keeping her, I'd been calling her Rubbish Bin Kitten, because I completely lack in the naming department, and the name just sort of stuck. And she really does respond to it, at least as much as cats respond to anything. Yes, I'm aware that it's a very sad, pathetic story. It's all the cat's fault."

Charlie winced when Nicky cried out again, but it wasn't out of irritation. The little bloke seemed to be having a terrible go of things. As Susan scooped him out of his crib, Charlie became aware that he was holding his breath. He had seen the pictures of Nicky around Susan's flat, but was still completely unprepared for the real thing. He was still so small and a bit squirmy and that red hair- it gave Charlie a significant pause. He took another step toward the two of them, without even quite realising he had done so. "New lead singer for the Weird Sisters?" he hazarded, aware of a rather rasping quality to his voice. He coughed to clear it. "Maybe a siren wrangler. Take after his mum's boyfriend."

He laughed in a way that seemed self-deprecating, and he reached out a tentative hand to touch the baby's back. "Hi, Nicky. I'm Charlie."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_susan
2009-09-12 12:23 am UTC (link)
Susan smiled at the story. It was rather sweet, even if it had ended with a silly sort of name for a kitten. "Well, I suppose you could always shorten it to 'Ruby' if you wanted to sound clever. That's a regular sort of name."

Her mouth seemed to be glued shut as she watched Charlie reach for Nicky. All the "what-ifs" seemed to hit her all at once, imagining how much less awkward this would be if he hadn't ever left, or maybe even if she'd told him sooner. Nicky wallowed his head ito her shoulder, still crying. Susan kissed the top of his head, then put her hand over Charlie's, bringing it to Nicky's back.

"He's usually too fond of strangers," she said, moving a little closer to Charlie. She couldn't quite look up at him. "I'm wondering if he's eaten something that doesn't agree with him. The way those ladies were passing him around, Merlin only knows what he might haven gotten in his mouth. Something spicy, maybe."

She was stalling, and she knew it, but it was so much to process that she thought they needed a little time at each step.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_charlie
2009-09-12 12:24 am UTC (link)
"Ruby," Charlie said, contemplating it. "Could work. I'll have to try it out on her." He grinned at her. "Thanks, Susan."

He was still, felt oddly as though he was suddenly trapped between two worlds, and then Susan's hand was there. And as he watched with what felt like semi-detached bemusement, she led his hand against Nicky's back and everything just... Clicked. For a moment, he thought that it would just be so completely perfect to come home to this every night: Susan and Nicky. And the rest of the world could just go to hell.

But that wasn't reality.

He subtly shook his head, both mentally and physically, and smiled down at both of them. "Yeah, that could be it. Something he ate." He paused, and when he continued, it was with a much tighter voice. "Susan, he's really quite perfect."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_susan
2009-09-12 12:25 am UTC (link)
"He is, isn't he?" Susan said, resting her cheek on top of Nicky's head as she finally looked up to meet Charlie's eyes. She smoothed a hand across the back of Nicky's neck. He didn't seem feverish, thankfully. If anything, his smooth skin was a bit chilly. She smiled at Charlie, then turned away, moving back to the bed. "I'm going to lay him down again, see if he'll go to sleep."

She put Nicky down, brushing away some of the dampness from his face and tucking a blanket around him. He wasn't crying quite so loudly now, so perhaps he'd finally tired himself out enough to sleep. He shifted restlessly around as she watched over him for a moment, but another outburst didn't come, only soft sobs. Still, it broke her heart to hear him cry when she wasn't sure why.

"Do you want something to drink?" Susan asked, crossing back to the kitchen. There were only so many things she could use for delaying, but at the very least she wanted Nicky asleep before they dove into what had the potential to be a very serious--or very heated--conversation.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_charlie
2009-09-12 12:26 am UTC (link)
For a precious few seconds, they just stood there, and then it was over- the moment or whatever it was. And then Susan took Nicky away, and Charlie marveled at the emptiness he felt. He stifled a sigh and nodded. "Poor little bloke," he said with a sympathetic smile, following behind her and watching Susan put him down again. He stood for a moment, watching Nicky in his wee bed, and then he looked up and took a couple of steps back and away.

"Er, yeah, sure. What do you have?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_susan
2009-09-12 12:27 am UTC (link)
"Just the usual," she said, sparing a glance at him before focusing on the refrigerator. "Butterbeer, juice, water. I could make tea or hot chocolate, if you like."

He indicated he'd like a butterbeer, and Susan got out that and some juice for herself, pouring a glass and replacing the carafe, then handing him his bottle. She felt more than consciously realised that they'd fallen into an awkward sort of silence, and she hated it, because she knew it was her fault.

Leaning back on the counter, she gave him a tentative smile. "I'm sorry," she said. "I'm a little nervous." More than a little.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_charlie
2009-09-12 12:27 am UTC (link)
Charlie took a deep gulp of the cold butterbeer, really for lack of anything else to do. Somehow it had gotten really quiet in the flat, the low snuffles and cries of Nicky aside. His mind went back to Susan's letter. She had something to talk about. They were going to talk about Nicky's father. Did he really want to know? Could he live with that information? Could he love some other man's child?

But the answer to that was obvious: yes. Anything- anyone associated with Susan he would love to the bottom of his heart. That is, if they could get back to that place. Charlie took in a deep breath. Not too much, too soon. Baby steps, no pun intended. He managed a rather genuine smile back at her. "Don't be, please. I mean, we should be able to talk. Even about our taboos."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_susan
2009-09-12 12:29 am UTC (link)
Susan nodded, knowing he was right, and glad that he at least seemed open to the conversation, even if he had no idea the direction it was going. "I want to talk about it," she said, and the words rang more true than almost anything she'd said yet that night. She did want to tell him. Had wanted to since the first she saw him again, and even before that she had been only a neatly-folded-and-tucked-under-her-bed letter away from confessing it all. "But I'm afraid of what you'll think, of what you'll say...."

She closed her eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, then looked back up at him. It was time. No more stalling. "I haven't been entirely truth--" She stopped, took another breath, then started again. "I lied, Charlie. About Nicky's father not--" Something in the back of her head made her stop again, and for a moment she almost didn't understand why. Then it hit her.

Nicky was silent except for a slight rustle of blankets. But he'd been crying only seconds earlier....

Susan wasn't sure if it was just another reason to avoid the conversation, or if her worry over Nicky's fussing had finally gotten to her, but she immediately crossed the room to his bed and peered in. His hands and feet were thrashing about, his face scrunched up and red, but no sound was coming from his mouth. Fear grabbed hold of her body and squeezed, threatening all at once to drop her.

"Charlie! I don't think he can breathe!" she yelled, panicked as she reached for the baby. She immediately checked for something he could have swallowed, but she couldn't feel anything. Nothing else came to mind, and she couldn't just stand there. She grabbed him, blanket and all, and whirled around. "St. Mungo's. I need--"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_charlie
2009-09-12 12:30 am UTC (link)
He toyed with the contours of the butterbeer bottle as he waited for Susan to say whatever it was she was going to say. He wanted to sit down, or lean against something, but he didn't want to interrupt. Just from watching her, he could tell that this was something weighing extremely heavily on her. He tried to brace himself, but for what? It couldn't be one of his brothers. That was just insane. And a bit disturbing.

His brow furrowed. She had lied? Something about Nicky's father? He took another swig of his drink, just to have something to do and so he wouldn't interrupt. But she interrupted herself, walking over to the crib. And that was when Charlie realised that the baby wasn't crying any more. It seemed strange and sudden. It was still less shocking than what Susan said next.

I don't think he can breathe.

The words rattled around his skull for a few precious seconds, incomprehensible save for a primordial fear that sent icy shards through his extremities. Susan's hands disappeared into the confines of the crib, and then she snatched Nicky up. She was trying to articulate her need, and Charlie's hand convulsed, dropping his bottle and letting it crash, unheeded, against the floor. He was to her side with agonizing slowness, traversing the room in maybe two or three steps. It may as well have been two or three kilometers.

He wrapped his arms around her and Nicky, and, keeping his thoughts firmly on St Mungo's, performed a side-along. The tightness of the apparation couldn't hold a candle to the tightness in his chest. "It's the baby!" he shouted as soon as they arrived. "He can't breathe!"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_susan
2009-09-12 01:15 am UTC (link)
Susan had barely said his name before Charlie's arm were around the two of them, and she felt the feared squeezing sensation. She was grateful he knew her, grateful that he could step in and take charge in that moment, because she was terrible at apparating on her best days--there was no way she'd manage it in this state.

"I don't know what's happened," she said as someone rushed up to her. Maybe he was a healer, but she wasn't sure. All she could focus on was the baby in the man's arms and a strange, outside her own body sort of amazement at how calm her voice sounded. She didn't feel calm.

Susan heard herself rattling off everything even remotely resembling a symptom the baby had had that evening, though she wasn't sure it was important or if anyone was even listening. The man called for a healer, moving toward an empty gurney, and they started work on him immediately, casting spells she didn't know even as they moved into a curtained-off area, calling instructions and information back and forth.

She followed numbly behind them. Close, but not in their way. Charlie was behind her, but she didn't turn to look at him, couldn't think about him right now. Nicky was still silent, still squirming, but not as much. It seemed as if they stood there for hours, and that she didn't take a breath the entire time. Her chest hurt from the exertion of it.

Then the healer's wand flicked again, and she heard a few choked gurgles followed by a renewed flood of tears and wailing. She'd never been so glad to hear him crying, and she burst into tears.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_charlie
2009-09-12 01:33 am UTC (link)
Charlie couldn't remember a time when he was more terrified, not even when a dragon's jaws had been clamped around his shoulder, teeth slicing through muscle and sinew, sawing against his bones and arm flailing uselessly in the inferno of the beast's mouth. No, this moment, as they stood in the lobby of St Mungo's, eclipsed even all of the horrible fear the Battle at Hogwarts had brought. This was Susan's child. He watched, immobile, as one of the staff- maybe a healer or an orderly, it didn't matter which- took Nicky and they began to try to treat him.

It took him a moment to realise that Susan wasn't with him anymore, and he started after her as she followed after the staff. His jaw began to hurt, but he couldn't figure out why. It dawned on him half a second later that he was grinding his teeth. His hands had curled into tight fists, just one huge bundle of nerves at this point. He wanted so desperately to reach out for Susan, hold her, but she was positively radiating shock. He wasn't sure what she might do if he went to her, touched her. Everything seemed to slow and thicken. Nothing was happening fast enough. Dammit, someone needed to fucking do something!

The world felt like it was hanging on the very edge of a precipice, like it was holding its breath.

And then suddenly Nicky was crying again, a loud, living sound that was honestly the very best sound in all the world. Susan's shoulders shook and Charlie went to her, this time without question. From behind, he folded his arms around her shoulders, holding her tight. "He's all right," he whispered against her hair. A tiny, niggling, evil little thought told him he was wrong, but he tried to ignore it. "He's breathing."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_susan
2009-09-12 02:47 am UTC (link)
Susan felt Charlie's arms go around her, and she took a few deep breaths and wiped at her face, trying to get a hold on herself. Nicky needed her right now; she couldn't lose control, no matter how much she wanted to. The healer and other man--she guessed he was an orderly--were talking over the crying baby, paused for the moment in their spellcasting. One of them put a hand to Nicky's cheek and commented on how cool he felt.

She opened her mouth to ask a question, but then the healer waved his wand again, and Nicky's skin glowed faintly red.

"What does that mean?" she managed to ask, voice tight with emotion. So many things were running through her mind, but she refused to let herself settle on anything. "What's wrong with him?"

The healer turned back to her, and it was obvious from the expression on his face that he wished he didn't have to answer her question. He nodded at the orderly, who left the "room," and then urged her and Charlie inside, tugging the curtain closed behind them. He looked between the two of them, then said, "Your son is testing wand positive for the unclassified contagious illness that I'm sure you've heard about."

Susan shook her head, moving without thinking out of Charlie's arms and to Nicky's side. "That's impossible," she said, fighting tears as she tugged the blankets the rest of the way from his body. "He's got a pendant, has worn it every--"

It wasn't there. Panic gripped her for half a second before she remembered the second charm, the one pinned to the front of his shirt. The tiny dragon was still there, and she fingered it, turning back to the healer. "He has two, because he likes to pull off the necklace when I'm not looking."

The healer nodded sympathetically. "I understand your concern." He moved toward a small cart off in one corner, digging through a drawer and pulling out some ideas that he prepared while he talked. "The wand diagnostic has a small percentage of false positives, primarily with those patients who've genuinely contracted the flu. A very small percentage," he said, giving her a serious look, "but we've developed a more conclusive test."

It wasn't until then that Susan realised he was holding a needle. She gasped. "You're going to stick that in him?" She put a soothing hand on Nicky's chest, wishing she could just rub away his pain so they could go home. "What will--what will that do?"

"It's a Muggle test. We take a small sample of blood, and then test it for the illness," he explained, moving up to the bed and unfastening the leg of Nicky's trousers. He cast a couple of spells on the baby's upper leg, then nodded at her. "Can you hold him still? I can call an orderly back in if you don't feel comfortable."

She shook her head and moved one hand to Nicky's shoulder, the other down to his belly. When the healer stuck the needle into his leg, she almost had to close her eyes, but she was distracted enough keeping Nicky from squirming too much. It was offer faster than she expected, and she let out a heavy breath. "How long will it take?"

"Usually about fifteen minutes, if things are running on schedule." He nodded and capped off the small vial of blood. "I'm Healer Burbury, and I'll be overseeing this case until he's officially diagnosed or sent home. We'll hope for the latter." He nodded once again, then moved toward the curtain. "Someone will be in shortly with some paperwork we'll need."

Then he was gone. Susan stood over Nicky, massaging his belly gently, no longer wishing he'd stop crying. At least she knew he was still there when he was making noise. After a moment, she looked up at Charlie again, but she couldn't think of a thing to say.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_charlie
2009-09-12 05:13 am UTC (link)
Everything went cold when that red glow came from Nicky's skin.

Charlie knew what that meant. They did screenings at work on a daily basis now based on some irrational belief that the disease might spread to the dragons. Anyone who tested positive was quarantined and then shipped rather ignobly home. He often wondered if the poor souls were compensated for their forced leave, not that it had happened very often, fortunately. He pulled himself from these thoughts, as instantaneous as they had been, when he heard and felt Susan speak.

The healer only said what Charlie already knew. Even the hope that it was a false-positive came fleetingly. Somehow he knew, he knew that the results would be the same. It was a dread that came from the bottom of his stomach. All the same, it made him as amused as he could possibly be in this situation when the healer assumed that he was Nicky's father. He could tell by the way the man had looked at both of them when he'd said "your son".

He didn't protest when she stepped away from him; honestly, he was surprised that it had taken her this long to do so. When Susan explained that Nicky had more than one charm, he moved a little closer. He'd only heard about the pendant charms; the dragon pin was something new. And ironic. He wondered for a half-second if it had been intentional. The charming aspect of the pin's shape was short lived, no pun intended. If one of them didn't work...

"Merlin," he whispered just under his breath, shaking his head. The healer mentioned another, more definitive test and began to pull rather barbaric looking medical devices out. Charlie tried not to shudder. He was rather terrible around Muggle medicine. He felt his jaws clenching spasmodically as Susan began to hold Nicky down. His fingers flexed, wanting so desperately to do something. But he just stood there, feeling like an outsider to some very personal drama. Unable to watch, he turned his head away. He could still tell when the needle had gone in; poor Nicky's cries changed in pitch.

He didn't look back until after the Healer had walked away, leaving the three of them alone. "Susan," he began to say after a long moment of silence, punctuated only by Nicky's cries. But what could he say? 'I'm sorry?' 'This is terrible?' Finally, he went with, "Do you need me to see to the paperwork?"

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]bl_susan
2009-09-12 05:57 am UTC (link)
"No." Susan shook her head, barely holding back tears again. She looked at Nicky, then back at Charlie again. "I just need you here."

Her legs felt inexplicably weak, and for a moment she thought she might fall over. She held tight to the edge of the gurney, then turned and grabbed one of the chairs to pull up next to it. She couldn't leave Nicky's side, not unless one of the healers asked her to do so. But she didn't sit right away, instead reaching out for Charlie's hand and pulling him closer.

"I don't know what to do," she whispered. "How can I help him if I can't even protect him?"

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]bl_charlie
2009-09-12 06:13 am UTC (link)
Feeling still a bit numb with shock, Charlie found himself nodding, although from her current vantage point, she probably couldn't see him. He grimaced and took a step toward her. "I'm not going anywhere," he said. "Promise."

She surprised him a bit by reached for a nearby chair and pulling it over. An errant thought left him wondering why she hadn't just summoned it over, but he dismissed it. Would he be thinking about some daft spell at a time like this? He thought she was going to sit down, but she reached out for his hand- which he took, easily- and went over to her. She asked him an impossible question, one that hurt him, cut him to the quick because he didn't know the answer. "Sit, all right? The healers are doing everything they can. Nicky needs his mum to be on her feet, and you look like you're about to collapse."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_susan
2009-09-12 06:35 am UTC (link)
"You don't understand. It's not supposed to happen this way." Then Susan did sink into the chair, more out of necessity than any actual desire to sit. Nicky was quieter than he'd been, but she moved one hand on his chest, could feel the normal in and out motion of his breath. It seemed he was just finally exhausted from all the crying, trying to drift off to sleep.

She was exhausted already, and she wasn't ill in the slightest. Her eyes drifted back toward the curtain, and she wished the healer would hurry back in with the results, but at the same time, she was terrified to hear them. She was scared of a lot of things at that moment, and not all of them were new.

And suddenly, she couldn't handle it any more. The stress, the waiting. Better to know than to fear anything else right now. And if Nicky was sick, then he had to know. Deserved to know.

"Charlie..." Susan whispered, looking up at him. "You need to know...that I lied before, about Nicky's father. There's never been anyone but you." She bit her lip. "He's your son."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_charlie
2009-09-12 07:19 am UTC (link)
Brows knitting together, Charlie frowned and crouched down beside her, his hand still in hers. His gaze followed hers, to where Nicky was beginning to quiet a little. Poor little bloke looked exhausted. Then again, so did his mum. He tried to smile at her. It didn't quite reach his eyes.

He let go of Susan's hand, but only to reach out to cover the one lying against Nicky's chest. He was so small. It wasn't fair. The whole thing was like a sick farce. He had managed to get back into Susan's life and now this happened.

She said his name and he looked back at her. And then she said the one thing that he had feared-dreaded-expected-longed-for. He froze. He... was a father? He was Nicky's father?

His hand slipped off of hers as he stood up quickly. The room was suddenly too small, so he began to pace it, measuring it in his head to stave off the too-many thoughts that were threatening to make him scream. All the horrible thoughts he had directed toward Nicky's father. It made him laugh, which came out as a sort of tittering giggle. He supposed it made him sound a bit mad.

He rounded on her, but didn't raise his voice. "Why didn't you say- But, no, why would you? What incentive did I give you? God, Susan, his father? You should've told me." He broke off, furious at himself for the accusation in his tone. She didn't need that, not now and not from him.

He began to pace again. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is just so much to take in, to process. I can't... I'm not sure... Dammit." He scrubbed at his face, wondering why his eyes were suddenly stinging. It was only belatedly that it came to him: he was crying. "God, my mum and dad are going to have my sorry hide. And Bill and Fleur. Fucking hell. Dammit, dammit, dammit. You. Why wasn't I there for you?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_susan
2009-09-12 04:55 pm UTC (link)
Charlie pulled away from her, and Susan let him go. She hadn't been expecting this to be easy, so at least she was prepared for that. But the look on his face as he paced the room.... She had to look away, watching Nicky's breathing slow normally, his eyes fight to stay open. She stroked the soft skin of his arm, trying to encourage him to let sleep take over. He wasn't sick; she couldn't think about that, couldn't allow it to be true in her head. This was just a normal day, a normal sort of sleep.

But when Charlie turned back toward her and started with a barrage of words, she had to look him in the eye, but she couldn't answer, because she knew he was right. She should have told him. But she couldn't have known a year ago how he'd react to the news, and if present time was an indication, there was nothing to say it wouldn't have been even worse then. Before she could come up with a proper answer, though, he had turned away, still talking, and she couldn't stay silent any longer.

"Because I didn't ask you to be," she said, voice surprisingly loud and fierce. Conscious of where they were, and of not wanting to disturb Nicky now that he was finally drifting off, she lowered her voice before continuing. "I wanted you to be here, but not just because I wanted you here for me, Charlie. I can take care of myself just fine."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_charlie
2009-09-13 03:07 am UTC (link)
Susan's words stung, not only for their anger but also for their truth. Charlie took a step backwards, away from the two of them. He was perfectly conscious of the promise he had made just moments before, but now? He took in a long, shuddering breath. There was a part of him that was still in disbelief, a part that thought this was all some sort of awful dream.

He looked off to one side, jaw clenching again. What could he possibly say in light of what she'd said? She wasn't wrong; she'd proved herself until now, hadn't she? "Yes," he said, aware of a rather icy quality to his tone. "You can take care of yourself. And Nicky. I've seen that. So why tell me now?"

He regretted saying it as soon as the words left his mouth. His shoulders slumped, defeated. "I'm sorry. You don't have to give me a reason. It's not... fair for me to demand answers or to try to understand your reasoning. I was the one who left you, broke things off. I don't know how you can even look at me."

His gaze went to Nicky's face. "God, how could I not know."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_susan
2009-09-13 05:38 pm UTC (link)
"Because you're here now," Susan said softly. She wanted to go to him, to wrap her arms around him and kiss him and make him understand. But it felt like an unspoken wall had gone up between them, and she didn't think she could be the one to break it down again. "Because I've always wanted to tell you, even when I felt like I couldn't. You don't know how many times I started--"

She stopped, feeling her face muscles tensing, her eyes getting misty again. Why did everything in their lives have such horrible timing? She'd found out she was pregnant the week after he'd left her, and now Nicky was in St. Mungo's the night she'd planned to tell Charlie about him. Susan had always liked to consider herself strong, but this was very nearly too much.

"Demand answers of me, Charlie. Get angry, hex inanimate objects, call me awful names." She looked away from him as fresh tears fell down her cheeks. Nicky's breathing was nice and steady now, eyes closed, and she slipped a finger into his hand, stroking the back of his hand with her thumb. Her voice was barely a whisper when she said, "Just please don't disappear again."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_charlie
2009-09-13 08:28 pm UTC (link)
He was getting tired of pacing, because it only made the room feel smaller, seemed to shrink it. Right now, in that very instant, he wanted one of two things: to get completely blind and stinkin' drunk and/or to be home and (childishly) in his mother's arms. He hadn't wanted the latter in quite some time, so the compulsion caught him off guard. Charlie rocked a little on his feet for a moment and then stooped down into a crouch. He wrapped one arm around his legs, his other hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck.

He sat like that for a time, and he listened to Susan, what she did and didn't say. Slowly, he rolled his head back upright, and when he spoke it was with a certain degree of effort. He felt very tired and very old, much older than his almost-thirty years. "Who am I to demand anything, Susan? I left, remember? If anyone should be getting angry, hexing inanimate objects and calling me awful names, it's you."

He let out a heavy sigh and then climbed back to his feet. He paused for a moment, just the space of a couple of breaths, and then went back to where Susan sat. Charlie hesitated and then he set his hand on her shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere. I promised, didn't I?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_susan
2009-09-13 11:49 pm UTC (link)
When Charlie finally moved again, he came and put a hand on her shoulder, and she immediately covered it with her free one, not caring whether it was the best thing to do or not. Maybe she could take care of herself, but she did need him now. More than ever.

"You did leave, and it hurt, especially when I found out...." Susan looked over at Nicky, knowing the rest of that statement was rather obvious. She swallowed. "But I would a hundred times rather have you here now because you want to be than here before because you felt obligated to be."

The curtain pulled back, and she jumped, anxiety level hitting the ceiling, only to realise it was just the orderly with the papers she needed to fill out. How long had it been now? The healer had said it wouldn't take long. It felt like it had been ages, but when the orderly finally exited again, she caught sight of a clock outside the little cubicle, and it had really only been a period of minutes.

She rose and stepped back to the side of the bed, gazing down on the baby. Her legs didn't feel much steadier, but she wasn't sure she could sit still much longer. "He does look just like you," she said quietly, brushing a hand over Nicky's red hair. "I'm surprised no one else has figured it out either. Or if they haven't, they haven't said."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_charlie
2009-09-14 03:14 am UTC (link)
Susan covered his hand again, and it felt heart-wrenchingly like forgiveness. Of course, this was just the illusion of forgiveness. It vanished with her words, and with the appearance of the orderly. This actually led to Susan moving away after the man left again after leaving behind some paperwork. "I do want to be here, Susan," he said quietly once the curtain was closed behind the three of them again. "This is just a lot to take in."

He looked down at Nicky again, so peaceful in a hard won victory against sleep. He watched a face that was so full of Susan that he could barely see any resemblance to himself. "I can see it," he lied- although from another angle he could see it a little. "My mum's going to be barmy. Your mum probably hates me a great deal."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_susan
2009-09-14 12:05 pm UTC (link)
"I know," Susan said quietly. She reached out for Charlie's hand, deciding that she didn't care at the moment whether he wanted to be close to her or not. She felt too drained to worry too much about being selfish. "I do, really. It is a lot. I'm sorry it all had to come out like this." She tried to smile at him, but it was lost somewhere in the fear that still clenched her chest. "I had a much better sort of speech planned out."

She closed her eyes for a moment. The reaction of Charlie's family wasn't something she'd seriously considered over the last couple of weeks. It had been in the back of her head all along, but now that this part was done, it seemed a lot more daunting. "She isn't happy about me seeing you again," Susan admitted, sighing a little. She ran a fingertip over the little dragon pin on Nicky's chest, the one very concrete symbol that her mum was at least resigned to the relationship. "But I wouldn't worry about her too much. She's a lot more soft-hearted than she admits sometimes."

Then she cringed slightly, looking up at Charlie. "I hope George won't be terribly angry with me. Or Ron." They'd met Nicky before, after all. George had even babysat him. "Oh Merlin, this is your mum's first grandchild, isn't it? I'd nearly forgotten." She sank heavily back into the chair.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_charlie
2009-09-15 02:38 am UTC (link)
Smiling faintly, Charlie gave Susan's hand a squeeze, hoping that the gesture could say more than his annoyingly stupid words would. "I'm sure it was a good speech, even if the timing, well..." He gave an awkward shrug and looked down at Nicky again. "Your mother is a generous woman, I think. I know my mum might come around in time, but it won't be without a modicum of howlers and a few well aimed jinxes."

He sighed, a weight-of-the-world kind of exhalation, and then he looked back over at Susan. "I wouldn't worry too much about George or Ron. If they give you grief, I'll be more than glad to give them what for. They should know better than to get me in a mood." He chuckled and ducked his head, reaching up with his free hand to rub the back of his neck nervously. "Yeah, first one. She's going to be mental about it, too. More as like going to give you more knitted blankets and wee jumpers than you have space for. You may have to get a bigger flat just to have room."

He glanced at Nicky and sobered. "I have to confess," he said in a soft voice, "I'm at a loss. I... I've never really considered being a father, a dad. I don't... I don't really know what to do. I mean, especially now. Are there people I need to owl? Things I should be doing or getting? I'm not here because I feel like I need to be here- which I do, I'm here because I want to be here, because I've... Because I've missed out on so much already."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_susan
2009-09-16 12:16 am UTC (link)
The more she thought about it, the less she was worried about his family, and the more she was worried about her friends. Would they be upset that she hadn't even told them, the ones who had supported her through it all? She tried not to think about it, because it couldn't matter as much as she thought, could it? It was too much to think about right now.

"It came more naturally than I expected," Susan said at his worried expression. But then she'd had quite a few months of preparation. He'd only had minutes. All things considered, he actually seemed to be taking it pretty well, or as well as she thought was possible under the circumstances. She shook her head. "We don't know anything yet. I don't want to owl Mum over the flu."

But what if it wasn't the flu? Had they found something else? Is that why it was taking so long to get the results back?

She was distracted for the moment thinking of all the letters she had stuffed under her bed, unsent letter to Charlie that would at least fill him in on what he had missed. It wouldn't be the same as being there, but maybe it would help. One of these days, maybe she'd have the courage to give them to him. "He's only nine months old," she said, slipping her finger into Nicky's hand again. "You've barely missed anything at all."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_charlie
2009-09-17 02:59 am UTC (link)
A wave of exhaustion nearly brought Charlie to his knees. It was physical and emotional; the shock of nearly everything really felt like it was about to bowl him over. He felt like he could sleep for a million years and wanted desperately to do so, but there wasn't the time.

He began to wonder if he would ever have time again.

Stress knotted in his chest, and he reached up with his free hand, rubbing his knuckles against his sternum. It didn't help him much, and he would likely dismiss it as heartburn if she asked, but it afforded him some measure of distraction. "I think I'll have to take your word for it, for now," he said with a low sort of rueful chuckle to punctuate it. He then nodded. "You're right, of course. Hopefully it was just a false positive."

Of course, he didn't really hold to that hope. It was just the way his world turned: get ahead by one, get knocked back three or four. Not that Nicky was necessarily a knock back, but certainly the timing felt like about twelve knocks back. Who in the hell found out they were a father just after that child was potentially suffering from a heretofore incurable disease? Charlie fucking Weasley, that's who.

All the same, he had to smirk again. "Nine months feels like its nine years. I mean, I never got to see him when he was really wee. Or... talk to him when he was inside you." His throat was threatening to close. "I'm so very, very sorry, Susan. I wish I'd been stronger."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]bl_susan
2009-09-19 07:54 pm UTC (link)
Susan tugged on his hand, standing up again and moving to slide her arms around his torso. She felt weak, in need of comfort, but for the first time since arriving and telling Charlie the truth, she really understood that he needed it, too. Maybe this wasn't exactly what he needed, but it was the only way she knew at the moment.

"You don't have to be sorry any more. I forgive you," she whispered against his chest. "I forgave you a long time ago, I think." Maybe even before she should have, but that didn't matter now. "I'm sorry, too. For not telling you sooner."

Someone clearing his throat drew Susan's attention toward the entry to their little cubicle, and she turned her head without actually letting go of Charlie. Healer Burbury was standing just inside the curtain, a chart in his hand and an unreadable expression on his face. Unreadable wasn't good. If the news were good, he'd have been smiling, wouldn't he?

She looked back at Nicky, still sleeping, then up at Charlie before saying, "Please, just tell us. What's wrong with him?"

The healer nodded solemnly, not even glancing at his chart before answering. "I'm afraid he has it. This mystery 'flu.' The blood tests confirm it. We'll need to move him to the fourth floor...."

The man's words all started to blend together, and Susan was glad Charlie already had his arms around her, because suddenly her legs didn't seem to want to hold her.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Home | Site Map | Manage Account | TOS | Privacy | Support | FAQs