Watch the Sun Sink Like a Stone
Author: telesilla
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,900
Disclaimer: The SGA characters do not belong to me. Duh.
Summary: "Tell them that I missed him every single day and night after that, but that I never regretted any of it."

Notes: Written for the "Ways to die" challenge on sga_flashfic. And that's all the warning you get. Further notes/warnings at the end of the fic.



I've had some time to think about you
And watch the sun sink like a stone
I've had some time to think about you
On the long ride home

"Long Ride Home" -- Patty Griffith


-now-

"Is Uncle Rodney sleeping?"

"No, he's not." Rodney's voice was shaky, but he opened his eyes and smiled at the little girl. "See? I was just resting my eyes, Madison."

Madison blinked and glanced at the doctor, who shook her head.

"No...not Madison," Rodney said. "Meredith, right"

"Yep!" Meredith climbed up and settled on the bed next to Rodney. "I made you something."

"Meredith, I think Uncle Rodney is too tired...." Madison reached down to rest a hand on her daughter's shoulder.

"Nonsense, I'm always interested in presents. What've you got for me?"

"A Dalek!" Meredith held the thing up and Rodney blinked.

"What the...a stuffed Dalek?"

"Exterminate!" Meredith said and bounced a little. She handed it to Rodney.

"Indeed," he said, looking it over. "Crocheted?"

"Knitted," Madison said. "Art class."

"Minning wanted me to make a doll," Meredith said, rolling her eyes. "But the Dalek was so much cooler."

"Definitely cooler," Rodney agreed. He twisted his wrist a little and pushed the toy at Meredith. "Exterminate!"

* * *

-then-


"Exterminate!" John said, laughing. "Man, I'd forgotten how cheesy these episodes were."

"Oh hell yeah, they make Star Trek look sophisticated," Rodney said. "The original Star Trek."

"How do Daleks go down stairs?" John craned his head. "Or did they retro that like they did with R2D2?"

"R2D2 was never retrofitted." Rodney glared at John. "Never ever. Not in any of the three movies."

Although they were alone in Rodney's quarters, John looked around and then leaned in and whispered. "Prequels."

"Exterminate!" Rodney yelled, poking John hard in the side. He then covered his ears. "Also, lalalalalala I can't hear you."

Laughing, John poked Rodney back, catching him in the side and causing him to thrash. The bowl of popcorn substitute from P3X-952 hit the floor and Rodney glowered at John. "See what you made me do?!"

"Attack of the Clones," John said, as Rodney scrambled to gather the puffy green kernels from the floor.

Rodney flung a handful at him and then snickered as John picked popcorn stuff out of his hair. "Leave it there," he said, "it's a good look on you."

"Not so much," John said, but he smiled and Rodney felt something twist in his stomach. Ducking his head, he started to pick up more popcorn up of the floor, unable to hear anything but the rush of blood in his ears.

That might have explained how he didn't hear John slide off the bed. He jumped when John's hand covered his.

"Rodney?" John's voice was soft and hesitant and maybe even a little frightened, although Rodney wasn't sure how he knew that seeing as John had probably never been afraid in his life. But when he looked up, John looked skittish, his eyes wide, and Rodney felt that click in his mind he'd only felt before when some complicated equation or theory suddenly fell into place.

"Yeah," Rodney said, suddenly fearless, as if they'd somehow exchanged personalities. "Yeah, John." He reached for John's face and John leaned into his touch and the last thing Rodney thought before their lips met was: neither of us saw this coming.

Much later that night, as they settled down on the floor on a pile of blankets and John's sleeping bag, John reached out and poked Rodney in the chest. "Exterminate," he murmured.

"I bet you say that to all the naked astrophysicists."

"Only you, Rodney," John murmured around a yawn. "Only you."

* * *

-now-


"Well?" Rodney said, looking at Dr. Dex-aki-Keller. "And don't sugarcoat it, girl. I've got naked pictures of you at age one and don't think I won't post them for the whole City to see."

"I'm terrified," she said, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder. "And anyway, you already know what I'm going to say."

"Then all I need to know is how soon. There are things I need to do." He reached up and gripped her hand. "Things I promised John."

"You keep saying that, Uncle Rodney, but you won't tell me what it is you need to do."

"It's not very professional of you to call me that." Rodney tried to frown, but it was hard to muster any ire for the beautiful young woman who looked down at him, the white bead with its red cross showing bright against one of her thick dreads. She reached up and fidgeted with it and then frowned at him.

"No it's not, but I can't very well act as your doctor if you won't work with me. And seeing as you're acting like a cranky uncle, then I'll treat you like one."

"Heartless woman."

"Coming from you...." She sighed and then sat down in the chair next to his bed. "A week. Maybe less." Rodney reached for her hand again. "I...you're just too old and your body won't hold up to any kind of aggressive treatment and you already know this and...."

"It's okay," Rodney said, wondering when he'd become so good at offering comfort. "Really, Mella, I never expected to make it this long. You know that." She was struggling not to cry now and he went silent, looking down at their hands and giving her time to regain her composure.

"I'm sorry," she murmured.

* * *

-then-

"I'm sorry." Sam blinked and looked up from her tablet. She smiled at them a little uncertainly. "I was buried in paperwork. What can I do for you two?"

"We need to speak to you and it needs to be utterly off the record," Rodney said. She raised an eyebrow, but he just stared at her. "I'm dead serious; unless you can promise me that this conversation won't leave this room, we can't have it."

"Colonel?" she said, glancing at John.

"What he said."

When John said nothing more, Sam took a deep breath and crossed her arms over her chest. "All right. You know damn well that I can't promise that, McKay, but I do promise to try to treat anything said here as confidential."

Rodney glanced at John, who shrugged an eyebrow; this was about what they'd expected from Sam.

"I'm only telling you this because Elizabeth knew and because you need to know just in case you need to find one of us and...." Rodney paused, remembering his determination not to babble. "Remember how I told you I was seeing someone? I am." He glanced at John.

"Are you telling me...?"

"Are you asking?" Rodney replied before she could finish the sentence. This was risky, far riskier than it had been with Elizabeth, and Rodney and John had debated for over a month about it before agreeing.

"No, but you are," Sam said. "You're asking me to overlook the UCMJ." She gave John a sharp look and he stared back at her silently.

"I'm asking you to...no, all right, I am." Rodney tilted his chin up. "I'm asking you to treat my personal life with the same respect General Hammond and General Landry give to Dr. Jackson's." He could almost feel John wincing, no doubt worrying that Rodney had played his trump card too soon.

Sam's lips quirked and Rodney knew that John was wrong; Rodney'd played everything perfectly and thank God for that, because he had one more card up his sleeve and it was one he hadn't even told John about.

"You'll find a file in Elizabeth's folder," Rodney said. "The password is d, at sign, one, three, k, six, eight, six, nine."

"Dalek?" Sam snickered and Rodney shrugged.

"Long story. Anyway, it's a bunch of paperwork I paid my lawyer a ton of money to draw up. You know, just in case."

"Let's hope I never need to open the file." Sam looked at them and then spread her hands and cocked her head. "Anything else?"

"No." They stood and Rodney gave Sam a little smile. "We'll see you later at staff, then."

"Thanks," John murmured very quietly as they left the office.

"God," John said once they'd made their way to the nearest unoccupied balcony. "I thought my heart was gonna pound right out of my chest when she mentioned the goddamned UCMJ."

"Oh please, you were just afraid she was going to come to her senses and realize what she'd been missing all those years." Rodney was babbling now and he really couldn't have cared less. "I was hoping she would, really."

John snorted skeptically.

"Seriously," Rodney said. "I was hoping she'd fall right into my arms."

"Yeah? You gonna throw me over if she decides that she really wants you?"

"Hell no. I was planning on gloating like nobody's business."

"Moron." John reached out and whapped Rodney on the back of the head.

* * *

-now-

"Madison, you have to help me." Rodney stared at his niece, still amazed at how much she looked like...well a female version of himself really. "I wouldn't ask if it weren't...if it weren't something I really need to do."

He didn't really like pleading and he supposed it would be too much to ask for her to--just once!--do as she was told. But no, she never had and he'd--mostly--liked that about her from the time that Jeannie had moved her family to Atlantis.

"I need more," she began and then shook her head. "No, I really don't. I think I understand. How are we going to do this?"

"I have no idea," Rodney said. "Just...wait. Ask it, ask the City."

"The City?"

* * *

-then-

"The City?" Rodney stared at John. "How in hell did the City tell you anything?"

"When I was last in the chair," John said. He scrubbed a hand across his jaw, palm scraping along a week's worth of stubble. "I don't know that it spoke to me, but...fuck it, I know what needs to be done. Now stop arguing with me and tell me that this will work."

He handed Rodney a tablet and Rodney's gaze flickered over it, the lines of text and the schematics blurring for a moment. He took a deep breath, and actually managed to stop the tremors that shook his hands.

"I'm not sure...oh wait, I see. Huh...this is really quite clever...oh wait.... You'll burn yourself out doing this." He went silent and then looked up at John.

"I know," John said. "But there's no one else and if I don't do this, we're back to the self-destruct."

"No," Rodney said flatly. "I won't...you can't."

John reached out and took the tablet out of Rodney's hands and set it on a nearby shelf. "I might make it through this." But he was gripping Rodney's hands hard and looking at Rodney so intently that Rodney knew it was all on him; John wouldn't do this if Rodney asked him not to.

"Please," John said very quietly. "Think of the City, Rodney. Please."

For a moment, a very long moment, Rodney hesitated. Then he drew a deep breath, let go of John's hands and began shoving aside everything but the knowledge he would need to help John do this. He didn't need, couldn't bear, to deal with his feelings now.

"To the chair room," he said, grabbing the tablet, and while his hands were shaking again, his voice was steady.

* * *

-now-

"I'm not even going to ask how you got the power to go down like that," Rodney said as Madison pushed the wheelchair down the hall. He glanced at the life signs detector in his lap; there was no one in this corridor, nor was there any light other the light from the big flashlight that sat next to the detector. "I don't know if it's a good thing that everyone responsible with keeping the City afloat is stupider than the people who worked for me or not."

"Actually, Uncle Rodney," she said as she maneuvered the chair into a transporter, "I did what you said to do. I just asked the City to help us. I think you could have asked; she'd have done it for you."

"I didn't tell you...oh maybe I did." Rodney sighed. "I never connected with the City the way you do. Or John, but of course it loved him best."

"She."

"Don't anthropomorphize it; even John didn't do that." He laughed a little. "And anyway, it looks more masculine to me, what with the big tower and all."

"Stop trying to shock me; it can't be done."

"That's my girl."

Rodney would have said more, but they had reached the chair room and while it lit up for him, the lights were low; only the chair itself glowing with unusual blue intensity.

"So bright," he said softly.

* * *

-then-

"It's so bright," John said as they entered the chair room.

"It just started glowing like that, Colonel Sheppard," Dr. Kusanagi said. "I don't know...."

"It's all right," Rodney said. "Everyone out! We're about to try something insanely foolish. I have no idea if it will work and it might be dangerous. I'll be keeping an eye on the power levels and...wait, one of you stay. I need backup...just in case...I don't know what could happen but I need...."

"I will stay, Dr. McKay." Miko said and Rodney gave her a grateful look before turning to the chair.

John had already settled in and was leaning back, and even though he was filthy, unshaven, and red-eyed with stims and fatigue, Rodney thought he was as gorgeous as he'd been when Rodney had first seen him in a different chair all those years ago in Antarctica.

"Tell Ronon and Teyla," John paused. "Just...tell them."

The right words were: "you can tell them whatever it is you're trying to get out when everyone comes back from the Alpha Site," but Rodney bit them back.

"I will," he said.

Taking a deep breath, John closed his eyes and his face went oddly slack. Normally, while in the chair, he just looked surprised or like a man with a mild case of gas--Rodney'd teased him about it on more than one occasion--but now, for the first time, Rodney got the feeling that John was connecting to Atlantis on a much deeper level than anyone had since the Ancients had built it.

"Rodney!"

Rodney ignored Zelenka's yell from the ZPM room. He glanced at the monitors and nodded, John had control over the power distribution and there wasn't anything Zelenka or anyone could do about it. Leaving the monitor, he moved to stand by the chair, eyes fixed on John's face.

"McKay? What's going on down there?"

He ignored Sam the same way he'd ignored Radek and the doors to the chair room suddenly slammed shut. He heard Miko give a little gasp, but even she seemed incredibly distant.

"Rodney...I can do this," John said. The chair was glowing now, both blue and an oddly familiar greenish light gathering around John. "Rodney...." John turned to look at him, his eyes dark.

Something clicked inside Rodney's mind and a memory floated to the surface. He leaned in, not afraid of the light or the waves of energy he could feel washing over him or the chair or Atlantis. "John," he said quietly. "John...the storm is fading away...clear blue skies."

"Oh," John whispered. "Oh!" He smiled at Rodney.

There was a flash of light and then....

* * *

-now-

"The chair was empty," Rodney said.

"They tell stories," Madison said, taking the flashlight and life signs detector away before she helped Rodney to stand. "About how, while the last of the Hive ships crashed into the sea around the City, Colonel Lorne and Colonel Carter came here and found Dr. Kusanagi crying and you sitting against the chair with a smile on your face. And no one else."

"It's been a long wait," Rodney said, sitting into the chair. It seemed to welcome him and he took a deep breath feeling stronger than he had in a long time. "When you write this story, when you turn it into some legend, complete with music...." He looked at her.

"Tell them that I missed him every single day and night after that, but that I never regretted any of it." He reached out then and took her hand. As the chair began to glow brighter around him he closed his eyes, not needing to see her to know that she was crying. "Let go, Madison. You need to let go now."

"Uncle Rodney...."

"I'm on a Ferris wheel," Rodney murmured as the chair swung under him on the way to the top of the wheel. "Going up into clear blue skies...John? No talking now...."

-some time later-

"And when doors of the chair room opened for the Sixth Colonel, he found Maestra Miller sitting against the chair, her face grave and her eyes turned inward. And they say she walked from that place, sat down at her keyboard and began composing that very same day.

"But I heard a different ending to the story from someone who was there, and she said that the Maestra went to where her daughter sat on a balcony overlooking the sea. And Meredith, who was even then wise for her years, said: 'Uncle Rodney was here a moment ago with another man and then they were gone into the sky with the wind.' And she described the other man so well that the Maestra knew him to be the First Colonel, and she smiled and sat down and held her daughter close until the sun set and the moons rose over the City.

"And that is the version I always tell."

-some other time-

"A Ferris wheel?"

"Gimme a break! I was almost one hundred!"

"You laughed at my Ferris wheel before."

"And I'm laughing now, but at you."

"You sure it's not with me?"

"Always with you, John. Always."

-end-

Further Notes: If you're reading this before you read the fic, both John and Rodney die in the course of the story; John first and Rodney some 55+ years later. I personally do not think of this as a tragic fic at all, but that's me.

Thank you to darkrosetiger for giving this the once over. Yes, kinitted Daleks do in fact exist, aren't they cute? And speaking of cute...I totally indulged my sappy streak here; there is no real excuse.

Finally, I was deliberately obscure about...well, pretty much everything. I wanted this to be a connected series of sketches that lead to John's death/ascension and then to Rodney's, and not a detailed history of the roughly 65 years between the time Rodney and John got together and the time that Rodney died/ascended. I kind of want to say that I'm not going to revisit this universe, but I remember saying that SGA would be a read-only fandom for me, so instead, I'll say that it's unlikely.