InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "you got it going on."

The girl across the street and down the block. (xo_tara_xo) wrote in asperger,
@ 2007-12-24 08:51:00

Current location:	cubicle #7
Current mood:	relaxed

Howdy...

I'm Tara. I've never been officially diagnosed with Asperger but when I read all the documentation on symptoms I usually can pick out about 90% of the traits that I can apply to myself.

I like to call myself a "Parallel Player" as I don't like to be involved with people but I like to be active where there are large gatherings of people. I can't go to Starbucks with a friend but I can sit there alone for hours. Same with work. We have a cubicle like setting and I always pick the one with the least amount of people around. Usually in the corner where I can still hear everything. Email and IM are my best friends as it keeps me in the loop but no need to actively pursue physical contact with anyone other than my partner or close family members.

I have been this way my entire life. I actually spent my elementary school years throwing a tennis ball up against the wall cause I didn't like to play with the other kids.

I have some mild obsessions: toenail / fingernail clipping. I can do this up to 4 or 5 times a day. If I can't find nail, then I go for skin. I'm obsessed with teriyaki food. I pretty much know where all the teriyaki places are within a 6 mile radius of my home and workplace. When under pressure I tend to scratch or pinch my arms. I defininately don't like change and if I had my way, I'd do the same thing everyday cause that's what makes me relax.

I don't really have good control over my verbal skills. I tend to say something before thinking and it can be really inappropiate. I'm not aware that it's inappropriate until I see the faces of people around me and think "uh oh". That happens on a daily basis so I'm apologizing a lot it seems. Though I never mean to intentially hurt someone's feelings or come off and being rude. It happens. I'm used to it. Sometimes I even get a good laugh at myself after realizing what I said.

I also suffer from depression with anxiety but medication has a good control on that. Some days I'm a mess. Most days I function pretty well and actually like occupying my body. On the days that I don't, I just move a little more slower and cautiously.

/ramble

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rainbow_goddess
2007-12-24 08:29 pm UTC (link)

A lot of what you say sounds familiar to me.

I pick at the skin around my fingers when I'm under pressure. Then I get the nail clippers and cut off the hangnails.

I often find myself repeating things that I've read in books or online without realizing that maybe they aren't the best things to say. But I can't think of anything else to say, so I say the first thing that comes into my head -- which is usually something I've read somewhere.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	midnight_air 2007-12-25 03:53 pm UTC (link)
	Yah, I do the same thing, only I tend to repeat what I've heard someone else say, without realizing until later that context is everything! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	midnight_air 2007-12-25 03:51 pm UTC (link)
	If we weren't already friends I'd add you yesterday - you sound so much like me! I self-diagnosed after I did a research paper on gender differences in autism, and found that girls with Asperger's tend to present differently from the "little professor" stereotype. It was such a relief to be able to put a name to all my weirdnesses! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	xo_tara_xo 2007-12-26 03:14 pm UTC (link)
	It's funny to go back and think about some of my behaviors and have that "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, that's why" feeling. (Reply to this) (Parent)