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*final fantasy vii: ac, author: ardwynna

The Want Ads [Final Fantasy VII]
Title: The Want Ads
Author: ardwynna
Rating: G
Word count: 438
Prompt: Loz gets a job.
A/N: Recycling an old joke. My apologies.


“I’m bored,” Loz said.

Nobody answered.

“I’m bored!” he said again.

“Then find something to do!” Kadaj snapped.

Yazoo was more helpful. “Here,” he said, tossing Loz a newspaper. “Read it. If you can.”

“I can read,” Loz grumbled. “I read like you do, and he did.”

“Will you hush up?” Kadaj said.

Loz turned away and opened the paper somewhere randomly in the middle. “Classifieds,” he said out loud.

“Do you still point at the words with your finger, Loz?” Yazoo teased.

“Will you two shut it?” Kadaj snapped. “I’m trying to work something out here!”

There was no fighting an order from Kadaj. The dominant push in their heads was too strong. Still, Yazoo allowed himself a mirthful smirk. Loz sank further into the ratty old armchair with his newspaper. His pants caught on an exposed tack on the lower side. He almost whined. There had to be something better than spending all day holed up in a grey, abandoned shack. He let his eyes fall to the paper again.

He stared at the words for a while; ‘Needed’ and ‘Wanted’ and ‘Situation Vacant’. Something stirred in his brain, reminding him of what those meant, staring up out of a newspaper in such fine print.

He supposed he could get a job. It would be something to do.

***

“This next guy looks big.”

“He’s big but is he bright?”

“Give him the test and see.”

Loz heard every word through the closed door and fought a moment of panic. Nobody said there’d be a test! What did you need a test for to join a construction company anyway?

The door opened. “Hey, bud, we just need to see if you have what it takes. Think you can move that there metal safe to the other corner of the room?”

Loz looked at where the man was pointing. “Sure.” He walked over to the huge metal thing. It was a beast, dented and old, probably a survivor from Meteor. The two men were whispering behind him.

“Boneheaded beast like all the rest, looking to prove something.”

“Yeah, he didn’t look like the type to use his head.”

“We better hope we find one who knows not to do it all solo soon, because no way am I paying workman’s comp to this overgrown nit.”

Loz braced himself and got a good grip. He hefted too hard and almost tossed the thing into the ceiling. “Huh,” he said, hoisting it over his head a few times for good measure, then tossing it lightly and catching it. “Not as heavy as it looked.”

He was hired on the spot.