|joudama (stopthatgirl7) wrote in areyougame,|
@ 2008-10-13 00:41:00
|Current music:||Soler - Not Alone|
|Entry tags:||*final fantasy vii: cc, author: stopthatgirl7|
"Something To Prove", Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core, Angeal/Genesis
Sorry this is a tad early for those of y'all in the Western hemisphere! I've got a house guest this weekend, and won't be online much, so figured better earlier than later. ^^;;
Title: Something to Prove
Fandom: Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core
Rating: not worksafe
Warnings: underage m/m smut
Word count: 4,958
Summary: This was all his fault. None of it was his fault.
A/N: Yes, right, so, going to hell. Writing Angeal!smut is bad enough, but underage Angeal!smut, because Angeal is fourteen going on fifteen, is, yes, my place in hell is assured. This despite the fact that me and porn, we're not friends.
...Ah, well. Worse handbaskets to be in, I suppose. XD;;
And as an aside, I've always thought Genesis skirted the edge of batshit bonkers at least once before and pulled back, so much that maybe he and Angeal thought he was actually OK...but in reality he was on a slow burn, and by the time Crisis Core happened, he just couldn't come off that precipice in the way that didn't involve drugs and men in white coats who didn't work in a ShinRa lab or a deus ex machina.
Prompt: Angeal/Genesis: first time - "You've got a perfect skin, with a Devil's grin."
Angeal knew this was his fault.
He hadn't been able to help it, was the thing of it. He had his limits; everyone had their limits, and he'd hit his.
It was one of the rare times that he was at the Rhapsodos house--Genesis hated being at home and would usually show up at Angeal's house or go with Angeal straight home if Genesis was having one of his frayed days. Most days Genesis would have waved good-bye after school and headed home for one of various lessons and extra preparatory tutoring his mother insisted he do, but today he'd grabbed Angeal with a "You working today?" and when Angeal said no, told him that Angeal was coming over and they'd do something after his piano lesson was done.
He did his homework while Genesis had his piano lesson, only half paying attention to the work in favor of watching Genesis going over one section repeatedly while his piano teacher instructed him on easier ways to play some progression and tips on tempo out of the corners of his eyes. Angeal didn't really understand a word of what they were saying to each other, things about crescendos and pedals and all kinds of other stuff, and couldn't tell much of a difference between Gen's playing at the beginning and the end, but that was fine--Gen and his teacher obviously could. Angeal was always kind of impressed when Genesis played--he'd had lessons since he was three and was really, really good. Gen'd always made a face when Angeal said that and blew it off as it just being lots of practice, but Angeal was pretty sure that if he'd taken lessons that long, he'd sound terrible--his fingers were just not meant to move that way. Gen's fingers were definitely a piano player's, long and graceful, but Angeal's were just...kind of stumpy and graceless, and he accepted this.
Gen bowed to his teacher when he finished the lesson, Angeal did as well just to be polite, and then they were alone.
The study in the Rhapsodos home was the only room that Genesis seemed to like, even over his own bedroom. The room was wall-to-wall books, plus the piano, and Angeal knew for a fact that Genesis had read almost every single book in there at least once, and the idea of reading that many books kind of broke Angeal's brain. He'd always liked listening to Genesis reading books aloud--he had a nice voice and always had, even when he was a kid, and Angeal would always have a soft spot for Loveless just because of how Genesis had read it over and over again, his voice like a lifeline, when Angeal had been so sick that everyone had been certain he was going to die--but the thought of trying to read all those books himself made Angeal want to go run around outside and hit things with practice swords. He'd read a couple of the books Genesis would press on him in winter, when it was too cold to go out, and yeah, they were interesting at all, but...
But then, maybe if he'd grown up with the Rhapsodoses as parents, he'd have hidden himself away in all those books, too.
They were just hanging out, not doing anything special, when Mr. Rhapsodos came home. Gen had just been plucking away at the piano softly, eyes closed and humming to himself a little while Angeal was finished his--their--math homework, because Genesis hated math with a passion, and if Angeal didn't let Genesis copy his homework, he just wouldn't do it--or would do such a half-assed job of it he might as well have not even bothered. It long ago ceased being worth the fuss of telling Gen to do all of his own homework, but Angeal had gotten a few concessions, which was rare with Gen but Angeal was just as stubborn, at least--now it was only math Genesis would refuse, and Gen would usually all but rewrite any papers for their literature classes Angeal tried to do, so he figured it balanced out. He usually had to yell at Gen to let him at least write the first draft of his own papers, after one paper had made Genesis hit him with the book--and it had been hardcover, too--and ask if he'd actually read the stupid thing.
It wasn't Angeal's fault he'd slept through, well, almost every lit class. It was right after lunch, after all, and it was lit. He tried to stay awake, but it just didn't work very well. And Gen's notes tended to be better than anything Angeal would have taken himself, maybe even better than what the teacher had said in the first place, with little asides scribbled in on the sides pointing out parallels to and influences of other books, usually Loveless.
Things had been pretty...peaceful, really, Gen playing and him plodding his way through problem sets. And then Genesis' father had come in, and...
...This was Angeal's fault. It was all because he just didn't like seeing the way Gen would start shrinking in on himself sometimes, when his dad was around. Angeal had no idea how it was that Mr. Rhapsodos did it, but it was like the man managed to change Genesis from the outgoing center of attention he normally was to a depressed, angry, and withdrawn person that Angeal didn't recognize some days. And afterwards Gen was a short-tempered disaster, prone to lashing out at everyone and everything that got in his way. Angeal was pretty much the only person that could ride out Gen's mood when he'd been pushed too far--but it wasn't exactly something he relished. And he sure as Shiva didn't like dealing with the way Gen got sometimes, when he didn't go into one of his raging bad moods, but instead just looked broken.
In some ways, Angeal almost wished Gen's parents would just hit Genesis or something. At least that would be something physical to point at. But Angeal honestly didn't think they actually ever even touched Genesis, which was something he just didn't get at all. Angeal's mother hugged Angeal all the time, even if it was kinda getting embarrassing nowadays, and almost every picture there was of him and Gen from when they were little kids up to now, they had arms slung around each other, and if they weren't, they were standing so close they might as well have.
They had been fast friends since the first time they had met, even if it made everyone in town scratch their heads in confusion some days and on other days, as he had overheard the old gossip grannies say, made them all hope he'd be a good influence on Genesis, because otherwise the boy was going to end up setting the whole town on fire in a fit of temper.
He wasn't being a good influence right now. In fact, right now Gen was staring at him wide-eyed and open-mouthed. But, sweet Shiva, even Angeal had a temper bomb, and it finally exploded.
The thing that had shocked him was that Mr. Rhapsodos hadn't really said much of anything. It was just that look he gave Genesis. Gen had almost instantly started shrinking, drawing into himself in a way that just...well, it just wasn't right, and before he knew it, "What's your problem?!" had come out, and it was all downhill from there.
"I think it's time for you to go home, Angeal," Mr. Rhapsodos eventually said through thinned lips, in the cold way he got when he was really angry.
Angeal sort of faltered at that, but...but what could he do? He was a guest in their home, even if he wasn't acting very guest-like and he figured his mom was gonna kill him for this, and plus Mr. Rhapsodos, for all he was a jerk, was kind of an adult.
He looked over at Gen, who was still staring wide-eyed at him. And who suddenly looked as conflicted as Angeal felt, because yeah, things were kind of tonberry or the cactuar. Gen looked over at his father and...and just sort of collapsed in on himself inside, Angeal could tell. Gen had the most expressive face Angeal had ever seen sometimes, and right now you could just tell that something inside him just kinda gave up.
And Mr. Rhapsodos looked disgusted. It only flashed on his face for a minute, but...
"I'm going home," Angeal said stiffly, his hands balling into fists. It was that or get himself into real trouble. "Gen, you wanna come with or something? It should be OK with Mo--"
"He's not going anywhere," Genesis' father said sharply, and his voice was like ice it was so cold, and there was something that brooked no argument in his voice. Angeal hesitated, but there was nothing he could do, he realized, and from the look on his face, Gen knew it, too.
"I...I'll see you tomorrow," he finally said, and stuffed in schoolbooks into his bag and left. He looked back before he left the room, and what he saw...it just wasn't good. There wasn't any expression at all on Gen's face--it was like everything had just been wiped off or something.
He felt like he'd seen something he shouldn't, and he knew this was all his fault.
He'd had to get out of there. Things had gone...really, really badly after Angeal left. His dad had always been good at making Genesis feel like shit, but he'd gone too far this time, said things that made red flare up in front of Genesis' eyes, and he'd snapped.
In the end, he'd stormed up to his room, planning to grab a change of clothes and just go, but as soon as he got there, the door slammed shut and locked, and his mother's voice came in from the hallway, saying she was tired of him embarrassing her all the time sneaking out and sleeping in the fields like a vagabond, and didn't he care what the rest of the town would think.
No, honestly, he didn't give a fuck what anyone in the little shitpit thought, and when he said so, well...yeah, didn't go so well. He'd sat there and just fumed, getting angrier and angrier, and it was almost scary how he stayed mad, and how it seemed to grow and feed on itself, all of his father's accusations and insinuations spiraling around in his head.
It was after a point, when everything had turned into a blurry haze of red, that he got up and smashed the window. He'd tried slamming into the door, but it had somehow stayed shut, and he barely even felt the pain in his arm, and what little did register just made him madder. He was leaving, by the gods, and fuck everyone in the house if they tried to make him stay.
He wanted to burn everything, set the stupid house and everything in it on fire, but some small part of him got through the haze, just enough to push him elsewhere, and he started towards Angeal's house, and that was fine, great, especially after all the crap his father had been...that cold bastard had actually insinuated that...and if that was how it was gonna be...
Genesis was glad it was too dark to see. It was probably better that Angeal wouldn't be able to tell what he looked like, not with the way Angeal turned into a ruffled mother chocobo at everything. Some vague part of him told him his arm was bleeding from when he broke his window, but he didn't really care, especially since he might have to break another one.
Luckily, Angeal's window was open.
It was pretty late by then, and it looked like Angeal was asleep, but Genesis didn't take much care to stay quiet as he cursed his way through the window and into the room.
Angeal wasn't asleep for long and blinked kind of stupidly in the moonlight coming in as he finally focused in on Genesis, like what he was seeing wasn't quite registering.
"Gen?" he said, sounding like he wasn't even the tiniest bit fully awake.
Genesis didn't even answer, just kicked his shoes off and slid into bed with Angeal.
"...Gen? What are you doi--"
That was as far as Angeal got before he let out a sharp gasp, because that was when Genesis got a grip on the other boy's cock. "G-Genesis? Your hand is--" he said, his voice shaky, because once Genesis got a grip, he started moving his hand up and down quickly, and there was definitely a reaction happening. Good.
"You complaining?" Genesis said, the sharp, feral grin knifing its way across his face the one that had once made Angeal take a couple steps back and say Gen needed to watch it with that 'looking like he was possessed by a demon' thing before people started throwing Remedies at him.
"Unh--" was all Angeal managed.
"Thought not," Genesis said, and scooted down, tugging Angeal's boxers out of the way as he did, and Angeal let out another "Unh--!" noise when Genesis wrapped his mouth around Angeal's cock.
Dammit, if his father was going to all but accuse him of doing this, he might as well be doing it.
And double dammit, no one was 'fighting his battles for him' as his stupid father had put it. No one had to fucking coddle him or protect him, and he'd do whatever the fuck he wanted. And if that was sucking Angeal's dick, fine, he'd suck Angeal's dick, and his dad could suck him, and--
--And this was not exactly comfortable, and he realized he didn't actually have the first clue how he was supposed to do this. But he couldn't exactly stop, not now that he'd fucking started and there was actually a dick--and a pretty big one; sweet Shiva, did Angeal have to be bigger than him in every single way?! It wasn't fair, and he was going to kick Angeal's ass just for the principle of the thing--in his mouth, and there was no way was he giving in to failure--he was getting angry just at the very thought of backing down. No, dammit, he was going to do this.
...Once he figured out what exactly he was doing. This was a lot harder than porn had made it out to be. But he knew this was doable, and dammit, he was doing it.
Angeal was making pretty interesting noises that he was trying to muffle and his hands were gripping at the sheets tightly, so Genesis figured he had to be doing at least okay. Some small voice in his head said he was probably being too rough and maybe teeth were a bad idea, but then Angeal let out a sharp moan that he immediately bit his lip to try and muffle, and that definitely meant Genesis had done something right, and that little voice could go fuck itself. Angeal was breathing hard, biting his lip to keep from making noise, and it was like for once Angeal couldn't keep still, like he was trying to but couldn’t, and Genesis felt a smug kind of pride at that.
"Oh, shit, Gen, I'm--" Angeal let out, his voice more breath than anything else, and like that Angeal suddenly gasped and twitched, and Genesis didn't have much choice but to swallow, and quickly, because that stuff tasted awful, and--
--and all of a sudden what he had just done hit him and hit him hard, and Genesis realized with a kind of horror that he had no idea what to do anymore. The blinding rage that had gotten him this far was gone, leaving him with a throbbing cock, Angeal's dick still in his mouth, and a mouthful of come. What had he been thinking, he wondered, suddenly hit with a kind of paralyzed terror as the last of the red haze he had been in was replaced with a cold kind of terror, and he pulled back and reflexively swallowed the last of Angeal's--
What in Hel's name did I just do?, he thought, and the voice in his head was pure panic.
He had been angry and frustrated; had wanted to strike back somehow at his father, and so he had...he had...he had just blown his best friend out of spite.
It was like a Blizzaga was forming in his stomach, and he didn't want to think about how fucked up this was, or how mad Angeal probably was at him, and he felt a sharp spike of rage coming back, comforting in a way and a hell of a lot better than that mind-numbing fear and panic; this was his father's fault, all of it, none of this would have happened if his dad hadn't been such a bastard and--and Angeal had a grip on his arm and oh, shit, that hurt, and things were going to go badly, he just knew it; he just knew he had screwed up and screwed over the only person he gave a shit about and didn't think he was useless or ignored him. Angeal hauled Genesis up, and Genesis went limply, not fighting it at all. He shut his eyes, not wanting to see how angry Angeal was. For once in his life he didn't have any words at all, because he didn't think he could manage anything coherent, not when everything was a white blank in his head, and even if there were words, there just weren't enough apologies in the world, and he'd never been good at apologies anyway and--
--and Angeal was kissing him.
He's not very good at this, some part of Genesis thought dimly. But then, I probably wasn't any good at that blowjob, either.
He recognized that his thoughts were approaching the hysterical, his heart jackhammering in his chest, and he grabbed for Angeal, because if there had ever been anything in his life that had been stable in a good way, it was Angeal. And if Angeal was kissing him, after what Genesis had just pulled, there was no way he was mad and maybe Genesis hadn't fucked things up completely and--
--and Genesis had no idea when he had started kissing back. He was pretty sure he was just as clumsily bad at this as Angeal, but he rapidly wasn't caring anymore because they were starting to figure this out somehow, and now there was a tongue in his mouth that wasn't his, and...and he kind of liked this. A--a lot.
And he definitely liked the way Angeal's skin felt under his hands; Angeal had a lot more muscle than Genesis did, from all the work he did in the orchards for extra money. Genesis had more than once the last autumn watched Angeal chopping up wood for some of the old aunties in the town for bits of change, and now he could feel what all that work had done to the muscles in Angeal's back, and what it had done was nothing but good things. He just...liked the way Angeal felt, and always had, even when they were little. It seemed like Angeal was the one person that his mother's odd thing about him touching people hadn't seemed to work on. She'd made the face she always did when she'd seen him touching Angeal--or anyone, for that matter--when they were kids, but it never quite seemed to work with keeping the two of them from throwing arms around each other or grabbing each other's hands when they were little kids. It was like there was "Angeal" and "everybody else" and the other rules just didn't apply.
The rules for other people definitely didn't apply now, because Angeal was fumbling in between them, and then his hand was on Genesis' cock. And that was when Genesis knew all too well why "Unh" had been the only thing Angeal had been capable of saying, because oh, gods, this wasn't a single thing like touching himself had ever been. But it wasn't enough, wasn't quite enough, it was close but not quite, and he put his hand over Angeal's and pushed Angeal's hand the right way, harder, and there there there like that like that like--
The noise that came out of Genesis was sharp and high-pitched, and the only thing that kept anyone else in the small house, like, oh, Angeal's mom, from hearing it was that Angeal's tongue was still in his mouth.
He could get used to this.
...When did Angeal pin me like this? Genesis thought stupidly, when he could actually manage thought again. But there they were, he was pinned somehow under Angeal, and it should have been uncomfortable just because Angeal was a lot bigger and heavier than him. But somehow it wasn't, not right then. He suspected in a few minutes that wouldn't be the case, but for now, it was...it was almost nice, and the panicked part of him finally started settling down. Angeal was just there, like he always was, and it was almost impossible for Genesis to stay in that terrifying unsteady place when Angeal was there.
"I'm leaving," Genesis said suddenly, staring at Angeal's throat. "I can't...I can't stay here anymore." His voice was hard, but it felt like he was breaking on the inside. This place was turning him into something awful. It seemed like every day the unsteady came a little easier, lasted a little longer, took longer to get dragged back from, and the gods only knew what he might do if this kept on like this.
They were moving again, somehow, Angeal moving onto his back and taking Gen with him, so Gen was lying against Angeal in a position that was almost oddly familiar, tucked under one of Angeal's arms and his head against Angeal's chest.
...He had to leave before he did something terrible.
"What do you mean, you're leaving?" Angeal said softly.
"I can't stay here," Genesis said faintly. "I...I'm going to be a hero, Angeal. I'm old enough now to join ShinRa. I'm going to make a name for myself. Like...like that Sephiroth in Wutai. He's our age. If he can do it, I can, too," he said, raising his jaw.
He was going to be a hero. He was going to make things right instead of fucking them all up. He'd prove it to everyone that he wasn't a fuck up and he wasn't a failure. To his dad, to his mom, to himself.
He was going to be the good guy, for once. Like Sephiroth.
"When?" Angeal said, his voice low. Angeal's voice seemed to rumble, when Genesis had his head against Angeal's chest like this. Angeal's voice had settled a lot faster than Genesis' own had, and for a long while Genesis hadn't thought that was fair. It also wasn't fair that Angeal was younger but he was already bigger than Genesis felt like he'd ever be, but for once it was kind of OK, and Genesis was sort of amazed at the way his brain was frenetically focusing on pretty much everything except the important things--like the fact that he had just blown his best friend and then gotten a hand job and that...and that he kinda wanted to do more of that again, especially since Angeal hadn't tried to break his face for it, or how his mouth might be about to get him in trouble again--right now.
"Tomorrow night. Don't tell anyone."
"I have to tell my mother, Gen," Angeal said faintly, and Genesis felt a wash of cold go through him. If Angeal told his mother and then his mother told his parents... "I can't leave without telling her."
Genesis went still as what Angeal said started to process. "Wh-what?"
Angeal laughed. "What, you think I'm letting you go off on some adventure and become a hero without me?"
Genesis was still glad that Angeal couldn't see him, and yeah, of course Angeal wouldn't be able to see him now, the way he was burying his face in his chest like that. O-of course Angeal was going to go with him--what would he do without Ange--what would Angeal do without him? "Y-yeah, what was I thinking? You'd go crazy from boredom all by yourself."
Angeal laughed, and reached over to grab tissues to clean his hand off. "Right. But...Think you could wait a few more months? I know you're not big on your family," he said, and his words were apologetic. "But I don't think I can do that to my mom, just up and leave tomorrow. And I want to try and make some extra money for her to have while I'm gone, until I can start sending her some."
He wanted to tell Angeal no. He wanted to say if Angeal was coming with him then he'd better be ready to leave in the morning. He wanted--
"...Yeah, I guess," Genesis said in a whisper.
"Thanks," Angeal said, his hand ruffling through Genesis' hair, and Genesis closed his eyes, feeling something frantic in him finally start to calm down a little.
A few more months. Time enough to get everything ready and settled; far enough to give him something concrete to look to when things got bad, but not so far off that it was too far. He could do that. 'Cause when he left, he was leaving this shitpit for good.
Somehow, he thought, drifting off with Angeal's hand still stroking his hair in the comforting way that only Angeal had ever seemed to have the patience for with him, his own arm tentatively drifting to wrap across Angeal's chest, he could wait.
"...Ifrit in a rainstorm, Gen, what happened to your arm?" Angeal let out sharply, and Genesis squirmed slightly as all of a sudden his arm really started to hurt. He hadn't even really noticed it until now, but now that he had...OW.
"I had to get out somehow, and the window wouldn't open," he said flatly, scowling. He didn't know who had locked his window like that, or had done whatever in Hel's realm had been done to keep it shut, but this was their fault. "If the stupid window had just opened, I wouldn't have had to break it," he finished, scowl deepening.
Angeal groaned. "Minerva must have given up on you years ago, you're such an idiot! Get up," Angeal grumbled, and shoved at Genesis to all but push him out of the bed. "Stupid moron."
Genesis couldn't see Angeal, it was too dark for that, but he knew what look Angeal had to have on his face--the prissy, scowling look he got when he was about to start mother chocoboing and lecturing--and felt a tiny smile on his face. "Fine, fine," he said, his voice sulky because if it wasn't, Angeal would think something was wrong.
Angeal flipped on the lamp on the nightstand and just cursed at Genesis and yeah, he had the prissy, scowling look, and a lecture was sure to follow. Some things never changed, after all, and it was...well, Genesis didn't think 'comforting' should have been the right word for the fact Angeal was about to chew him out until Genesis' eyes glazed over, but it was, because it was Angeal being Angeal.
"Take off your shirt and stay here, you fricking idiot, while I go get the first aid kit. Stupid moron," Angeal groused, and left. By the time he got back, Genesis had turned on the main room light and was sitting on the bed, and had somehow managed to get his shirt off--something he was glad for, because now the shirt was kind of gross--and oh shit if taking it off hadn't hurt. His entire shoulder was bruised and his forearm was just...a mess. And his shirt was a big of a mess between all the blood and...and yeah. He balled it up and tossed it into the garbage can; when he had to leave in the morning he'd just take one of Angeal's old shirts or something.
Angeal took one look at the mess of Genesis' arm and got a weird look on his face, then started lecturing. ...And Genesis knew he couldn't let the weird expression trying to come out actually come out as Angeal knelt in front of him and started cleaning his arm. He shouldn't be smiling at a lecture, he knew that. He didn't say anything in his defense, though, and just watched Angeal.
He didn't really have much to say, anyway. Or much energy anymore, because next thing he knew, he was kind of listing forward until his head was resting on top of Angeal's as Angeal finished bandaging up his arm. It wasn't too comfortable, but it kind of was at the same time, and he shut his eyes and just breathed because finally, finally, he could relax.
He was still afraid of what he might do, what he was capable of, the way things seemed to spiral out of his control in his own head sometimes, but...but maybe it'd be ok. As long as he had this to hold onto when things got too out of control, maybe...maybe it'd be ok. He was going to make himself into a hero, into a good guy, and maybe it would make him into one on the inside too, and everything would be better.
It had to be.