Fixing You Is Easier Than Fixing Me [Final Fantasy VIII, Rinoa/Squall]
Title: Fixing You Is Easier Than Fixing Me Author: jlsigman Rating: PG Warnings: Game spoilers Word count: 840 Prompt: July 23 - Final Fantasy VIII, Rinoa/Squall, touch - his fingers trembled A/N: Takes place during the game. Thanks to GameFaqs for a game script. Italiac text indicated thoughts.
Squall thought she looked even more fragile than before. On that bed, arms crossing her middle, Rinoa barely breathed. The doctor said she still had a decent swallow reflex, but it wouldn't be long before they'd have to put a tube in her. He didn't even want to contemplate her connected to machines that lived for her.
The speaker nearby crackled to life, and Quistis's voice sounded hollowly. “Squall, can you hear me? Head to Edea's House at once. The Sorceress Edea...” There was a pause, then she came back, almost stubbornly, “Matron is back at the orphanage.”
-----
He knew he should be paying more attention, but the woman's words turned into a buzzing drone, like a bad lecturer's. When he suddenly realized she hadn't spoken for a moment, he turned to go.
Selphie made a loud, surprised noise. "Squall, we're leaving already!?"
Squall grimaced. I've heard enough, he thought. He sighed. I understand that listening to what Matron has to say is important, but Rinoa... Suddenly he had a flash of inspiration. “Matron, do you know what's wrong with Rinoa?”
Edea seemed non-plussed by the sudden change in topic. “Rinoa is the girl in light blue? I remember vaguely... What happened to her?”
“She was with us when we fought you. After the battle...” He was having trouble talking, breathing. “...Her body was cold... She didn't move...”
“Did Rinoa die!?” Cid asked, horrified.
“NO!!!” Squall's shout caused Selphie and Zell to jump back. He tried to breathe through clenched jaws.
Edea blinked, but thought for a moment. Then she shook her head. “Forgive me, Squall. I don't think I can be of any help.”
Squall closed his eyes, trying not to show any emotion. You can never rely on others. “...It's all right,” he finally muttered.
Cid gave him a stern look over his glasses. “Squall, I understand how you feel. But,” he said, going into his kindly headmaster lecture voice, “you are in a position of leadership. The other students at Garden have a right to know about the outcome of the battle and what's to come. Take whatever information you can get here, back to Garden. Remember, it wasn't just Rinoa. Everyone fought.”
“I understand,” Squall insisted, his hands tightly fisted. “But...”
“But, but, but,” Cid mocked him. “That isn't something a leader should say.”
Squall never hated someone so intensely as he did Cid at that moment. Punching the wall was the only safe alternative.
-----
Squall rambled his way through the update Cid had insisted he give. Quistis would likely start into him about how he should care more if he stayed, so he walked out before she could get that chance. He didn't understand how it had changed, but he did care: just not about what he was supposed to be caring about. His thoughts chased themselves around his head, and he almost wished that the GF's would just take all his memories away. Except for the important ones. The ones that were important now.
He found himself in the Infirmary, at her bedside. There was no change in the last few hours: her hands were still crossed over her middle, her breathing was still shallow, her face was still pale. He didn't have to look at her chart to know that a new set of checks matched the previous ones.
He desperately wanted to touch her, to reassure himself that she was really alive, to add that to his memories, but he was so afraid his fingers trembled like a kid during their first training center exercise. He didn't know where to touch her. He didn't know how, had never learned, had never even thought about it before. He watched his hand shake like a leaf as he carefully placed it on her forehead.
You feel so cold, he thought. She should be warm. Are you going to be like this forever? He felt his throat closing up at the thought. “Isn't there anything I can do!?” he whispered desperately. “You were so full of life. Now you don't even make a sound...” All the times he'd wished she would just shut up, and now that she had... “I want to hear your voice. Call my name.”
His time in the dream world with Ellone gave him a desperate idea. She said she couldn't go back to Rinoa's past because she didn't know her? That could be arranged, one way or another. If the Garden couldn't get to Esthar, then...
Squall carefully picked her up, like the princess she was. Let's go, Rinoa. Let's go meet Ellone. She weighed almost nothing, and settled against his back like she belonged there. Ellone will bring us together.
Fisherman's Horizon was quiet this time of day, and no-one saw the strange couple head east on the unused railroad tracks. Squall didn't look back at the Garden he was willingly abandoning. “It's a bit far,” he said to his passenger, “but we'll make it.”