Jay Guthrie (courtingthesun) wrote in academy_x, @ 2010-01-09 00:26:00 |
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Entry tags: | husk, icarus |
Who: Paige and Jay
When: Friday night
Where: Jay's room
What: Sibling bonding (We'll start with the uber-pinnacle of angst so it can only get better from there. I can't deal with him as suicidal for long <3)
Jay still didn't like it here. He kept telling himself he could get used to it. That's what everyone else said, and he wanted to believe it. But being further away from where Julia died hadn't made anything easier. He still missed her, he still felt completely responsible, and he still wanted to join her in heaven. He believed he understood it now - Julia Cabot was far too pure for this world, especially the violence-laced family feud she had to grow up in. He wanted to be the same, too pure for the world, able to rejoin with her in a warm, perfect heaven.
But he couldn't. He was impure. Every time he tried to follow her, his powers kept him alive. He hadn't tried killing himself since getting moved into the mansion. His parents had used a lot of money to get him there, and he refused to do anything before repaying those dues. His father needed it more than he did. So he had worked and sent home the money, despite his parents' protests, and now he had worked off that debt. Nothing should bind him here. He had sneaked a steak knife away from dinner and waited until his roommate left. St. John always had better places to be than with a brooding, younger roommate.
He wasn't expecting company. And he obviously wasn't thinking, since he hadn't locked the door or anything, and hadn't come up with the after plan, how to make it easier for everyone to move on after he finally joined Julia. He wasn't thinking about the mess or his family or anything except his love. He wasn't far from his bed, gripped the knife, and closed his eyes. He plunged it into his chest.
Romeo was a crappy role to play.