dean winchester (shotgun) wrote in zombielandlogs, @ 2018-08-26 15:09:00 |
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Entry tags: | supernatural: dean winchester |
Who: Dean and Adam (maybe Sam later)
What: Brothers catching up
When: Bendy times
Where: Adam's cell
Warnings: Dean Winchester Apology Tour 2018
Dean didn't know where to even start and hell, he didn't even know what to say. What could he say? What shitty apology could he even come up with for leaving Adam trapped inside of the Cage? When the choice came to save Sam or Adam he picked his brother. Dean picked the one he cared about more and he knew deep down that was going to haunt him. That choice of picking Sam over Adam was going to catch up to him one day and it was happening here, their meeting coming after being dropped into a zombie infested world. It was shit. Dean wondered how much Adam hated him. How fucked up Adam's mind was for having to deal with being Michael's punching bag and the torment that came from Lucifer.
It took him a bit to find Adam's cell but honestly it took Dean a lot longer because he was afraid of the conversation in itself. He didn't know what he would feel when he finally looked Adam in the eye and had to apologize for choosing Sam over him. There was no easy way to say something like that and Dean was the champion of small talk. He wasn't like Sam. Dean couldn't sit down and spill out his feelings over something horrible.
After avoiding it for what felt like an hour, Dean finally came to a stop near Adam's cell. He took a second, his eyes closing as he composed himself. He wasn't sure what he was going to face but he built up his wall and closed off his own personal feelings. Deep down Dean was still suffering in his own way as he fought himself on grabbing hold of the First Blade that was hidden away in his cell. It called to him like a person, begging Dean to take it, to spill blood - to take a life. All of that was pushed away because this moment couldn't be avoided anymore.
"Hey," Dean said, his eyes catching the youngest of them, younger than Sam which put a lot of things into perspective. As the oldest brother he was supposed to be the one that watched out for them and took care of them and yet all Dean could do was sacrifice one for the other.