It had been a while since Jean had seen Penny around. She would admit to herself she hadn’t made much of an effort only because she’d been distracted by all the crazy things happening around them. Now they were in 1950? We’re they ever gonna get home? But lately her mind began to wander back to Penny. She couldn’t forget that her time on this earth was short and she wanted to share something real at least once before her time came to an end.
Penny was kind and a good listener but she didn’t know much else about her, and she didn’t know much about Jean. After the sun went down Jean found here way over to Penny’s wagon. She rapped lightly on her door, feeling her nervous heartbeat flutter. Maybe she wouldn’t find anything to trust in Penny but she had to give herself a chance to at least try to open up.
Penny was dancing along to a record playing in her wagon. The tune wasn’t loud, just enough to get the feel for the music. Music had always been her favorite thing; she could remember distinctly her mother singing to her in French, soft lullabies to lull her to sleep.
She heard the knock only because she was close to the door and with a radiant smile the barrier would be pulled open.
Her frame paused and she looked up. “Jean,” she greeted. It had been a while since they’d seen each other, shared something delicate between them. Penny hadn’t been sure the other woman wanted her company but now that she was here she found herself glad.
“Come in!”
A twirl on bare feet and Penny was moving to the record player, taking the needle and the arm from the record to silence the music.
“It has been too long, Cher.”
Jean climbed into the wagon and looked around. She didn’t get to see it much the last time she was there but the wonderful smell that was Penny permeated in the air and it caused her to smile. “I know, I guess I got a bit distracted with all that’s going on. Ain’t we ever going back to 1920?” The question was rhetorical but she paused anyway.
“I came cause I was hoping you might want to take a walk with me. I wanted to talk to you, tell you more about who I really am.” Not that she had lied the last time but she hadn’t really shown Penny who she actually was.
The question posed earned a small shrug but she didn’t answer. She couldn’t. It wasn’t for them to know and yet she knew that in time they would. That was how the Carnival was, a surprise. Always shifting.
“I would like that,” she replied, smiling. A moment would be taken to find her shoes, comfortable enough for a walk, and she held her hand out to Jean. “I am ready.” The idea the other woman wanted to talk was intriguing.
She didn’t care where they went, only that they were going somewhere together. Perhaps someone else would’ve been apprehensive because of the time they’d spent apart after that one night in the modern day New Orleans, but Penny wanted to hear what Jean had to say.
As Penny grabbed her hand she lead her back outside into the night air and began to walk with her toward the edge of the grounds. She was about to tell a story she hadn’t ever told anyone else before and she hoped that it wouldn’t ruin the chances the two of them had together. “When I was a bit younger I fell in love with a girl. Her name was Elizabeth and she meant the world to me.” She began, realizing she had a way to go before she ever got to the point.
“Ain’t no girl ever strike my fancy as much as she did from the moment I met her. And we were close.” The whole thought of telling this story hurt and Jean tried to keep her composure as best she could.
“I decided one day that I was going to tell her my deepest darkest secret but I couldn’t quite figure out how I was gonna do it.” She sighed and realized she was about to exactly what she had back then.
“I changed my shape into a mountain lion right in front of her eyes and she ran so fast I didn’t have time to change back. I went after her and she fell when I jumped at her, cracking open her skull.” This time she did cry a bit as they got further and further away from the grounds, outside of the realm listening ears.
“I killed someone all because I wanted to show her how much I loved her.” She shook her head and wiped the tears from her eyes. “I know that’s a lot of information I just gave you but I had to get it out.” Wow she had talked far too long.
After the door to her wagon was secured, Penny threaded here fingers in Jean’s and allowed the woman to lead her along. Their footfalls would be quiet against the evening as they approached the edges of the carnival. Her eyes adjusted a bit to the dark, she trusted Jean to keep her safe.
As the other woman began to speak her pace would slow a bit. She listened, frowning at the story.
“Oh, my Cher, I am sorry for your loss,” Penny breathed. Drawing Jean’s hand up, Penny would kiss the other woman’s fingers gently. “I am not afraid of you. I do not think you would hurt me.”
She pulled them to a stop. Turning, her free hand would find Jean’s other and squeeze the limb gently. “I trust you. I can never take the place of that woman and I would not try, but I will be here for you.”
She sighed and kept walking with her hand in hand. “Only person outside of family I ever showed that too ain’t around no more and I don’t want to live my whole life pretending like that part of me don’t exist.” She explained further before taking her hand away from Penny. She gave some distance between them so that she didn’t startle her too much.
“Don’t be afraid, I won’t hurt ya.” She said before her body began to take shape of the tiger in the big cat show, Shiba. Her form was seamless and she let out a low growl for theatrical effect.
Letting Jean pull away, her hands would lift and clasp against her own chest in anticipation. She watched the other woman step backward, away, curious. “How could you pretend that?” The French accent was thicker but her words were still clear.
And then Jean was changing.
At first Penny’s eyes would widen as she assessed what she was seeing, but then her expression evened out and her smile grew. “Beautiful,” she murmured, kneeling down. Hand would stretch out as if to tempt the large cat toward her.
“I will not hurt you,” she echoed.
The tiger stalked up to her and purred as it found her hand. She couldn’t really describe what it felt like to be like this. She didn’t really think like herself and yet she was still quintessentially the same person. When she was younger she used it to escape from all the things that frightened her but these days, it scared her more to shift than not.
After a few moments Jean stalked away and changed herself back into the girl that Penny had met. “I ain’t never showed anybody else that before.” Anyone alive at least.
She had never been so close to a large animal, much less a wild tiger. In utter awe, her blue eyes shimmered even in the darkness. Fingers brushed maw, ears, touching the soft, striped fur with the delight of a young girl. She knew fear; this was tame in comparison to some of the things in her life she had been through already.
When the tiger walked away Penny would stand up and she beheld Jean again.
“I am honored that you would share it with me,” Penny began, offering a warm smile. “Merci, Cher. I have never seen a tiger that close before.”
She walked back up to Penny and offered a small smile. “Well, I told you my deepest darkest secret. What’s yours?” It seemed fair. Though she couldn’t be punished now for the crime if they ever got back to 1920 it was a possibility. She also found that there was something in Penny she could trust, like there was something they shared that Jean didn’t even know about. It scared her but she only had this life to live.
“Come on now, I want to know everything about you.” And that was the truth. What had they had except one nice date months ago, it was time to learn more about her.
Penny smiled.
She lifted her hand, touching the side of her temple where the scar was. Jean already knew that she told the future, could see what lay ahead and behind someone.
“You know much already,” she reminded the other woman. “I have been in and out of the…” she paused, trying to remember the word, “...institution. My father, he married my mother, he told me I was ill. That I needed the doctor and treatment.”
“My power, it, eh, gives me headaches. Nosebleed. I am afraid that it will be the end of me.” She would die young, she knew it. “But I do not want to live in the shadows.”
Jean came closer to Penny and brought her hand up to her cheek, fingers coming to rest against the temple she just touched. “I’m so sorry, no one on gods green earth deserves to be in a place like that. I don’t care how crazy you are.” But Penny wasn’t crazy, she was probably the most sane woman she’d ever met and that was rare in a carnival full of supernaturals.
“Growin’ up, being the things that we are, knowing that we don’t have much time left on this earth. I don’t want to waste any of it. Not anymore.”
Those fingers on her skin shot electricity down her frame. Penny’s eyes would lift and she studied Jean’s expression finding mirth and starlight embedded in the irises of her eyes. She swore inwardly that she saw a star streaking across the glassy orbs but that could’ve been her imagination. Penny made a wish regardless.
“Then we do not have to waste it,” Penny tempted, eager to know what was on the forefront of Jean’s mind for the future ahead. Those short days were sure to be full of excitement for the pair of them, no matter what the endeavor. “As long as we can spend the time together.”
She’d let her fingers move to the back of Penny’s neck and pulled her foreword to meet her lips. The electricity was evident and as she moved her lips against the hers she knew she’d be able to be herself around Penny. Her free arm came to wrap around her waist and pull her frame closer. She’d been with women since but she hadn’t quite felt a connection quite as strong as this one.
When she pulled back she blushed a bit, turning into a tongue tied fool. She could charm the wallet right out of a man’s back pocket but when it came to actual flirting, she felt a bit stumped. “I’m sorry, you just looked so pretty.” It was a terrible excuse but it was the best she had.
Penny shifted forward as drawn, rising up to press her mouth against Jean’s. Arms would wind around the other woman, fingers curling into the fabric of Jean’s clothes. Eyes fluttered closed and she let herself get lost in the static of the moment.
And then the moment was over. Penny took a breath, opened her eyes, and her cheeks flushed with color as her lips pulled into a smile.
“Wow,” she murmured. “Merci, mon Cher. I think you are pretty, too.”
The flush on her cheeks deepened. “I heard men tell me that so many times and ain’t a one of them made me feel like you do when you say it.” She offered with a giggle and looked down for a moment before she looked up in her eyes again. “What do you say we make this night count for something and…” head back toyour wagon, say it Jean! But she couldn’t, couldn’t bring herself to lay on her charm like she could anyone else.
“...nevermind, that was too presumptuous of me. You’re a lady and I ain’t here to taint your virtuous nature.” Wow, Jean really needed to kee her mouth shut.
Penny’s smile widened at the explanation. It was true, Jean was as beautiful as the wild roses on the French countryside - fragrant and free with bold colors and strong buds. “I think that we say things when we do not always mean them, but I do mean what I said.” She wanted Jean to know it.
She realized that she was still nearly clinging to the other woman with that taste still coating her lips.
Eyebrows would arch. Her smile turned soft and then playful. “Am I virtuous?” Nearly a giggle would escape. “We can go back if you would like to.” This time she would step back but offer a hand, hoping Jean would take it.
Jean gladly grabbed her hand as they made their way back to the grounds. She didn’t feel comfortable with someone seeing her on the actual grounds so she felt it was safer if they were off them. “I suppose I haven’t seen an unvirtuous side to you yet, maybe you can still prove me wrong.” She teased, squeezing Penny’s hand in hers a bit.
“I hope I can own a wagon someday, seems real comfortable in there.” And she’d have a place to store all the things she’d stolen off of unsuspecting men.
“You will know all of me in good time,” Penny promised as they walked. There was no connotation in her word though it could be interpreted any way it was supposed to be. Her hand remained in Jean’s as they moved together back toward the grounds and ultimately to the wagon.
“Oui, they are very comfortable.” Not to mention private.
Jean wasn’t in anything fancy today, just a simple dress she’d picked up in town on the last supply run. It was more in the style of this time and she felt a bit silly in it. She followed Penny into her wagon and found herself a place to sit, the bed. More than anything she wanted to keep kissing Penny, even if it had to stop there. She was good at it and Jean had the feeling she wasn’t lacking in that department either.
“Someday I’ll get one that’s real fancy and you can come and visit me in it.” So far the men in this town didn’t succumb to her charm as easily and she was having a harder time stealing their wallets.
The trek to the wagon was fairly quick, she knew the way even in the dark and before too long they would be tucked away inside the safety and privacy of her wagon.
“Your wagon will be very great,” Penny confirmed, nodding. She took off her shoes and set them aside, before settling down next to Jean. “And I would be honored to visit you all the time.”
She didn’t take any time this time and she leaned over to catch Penny’s lips in her own, bringing her hand up to cradle her soft jawline. She couldn’t quite help herself, at least not yet. Everything about Penny was intoxicating. A low purr she couldn’t quite help escaped and she licked at Penny’s bottom lip.
Her own eyes tumbled closed. Her chin lifted, head tilting into that warm, soft palm as it cradled her cheek. Lips would move, dancing with Jean’s as they connected on a deep level.
Hands would lift, find soft cloth of Jean’s dress and fingers would curl into the fabric as if to keep hold on the woman lest she somehow escape.
That little noise sent a shockwave through her and Penny smiled to herself with intrigue and delight.
Jean grasped at her waist, pulling her whole body closer. She brought her hand up to brush hair off of Penny’s shoulder before she pulled back a bit. But it was only to stare at Penny for a moment before she brought her lips to her neck and placed soft kisses along it.
She sighed against her skin and whispered softly as she made her way toward her ear. “I’ve wanted to kiss your neck since the first time I met you.” she admitted, continue her adoration of Penny’s neck.
Eyes fluttered open. She smiled and tilted her head so that the curve of her neck was exposed. Nearly settling in Jean’s lap, Penny made herself be patient. As their eyes met she would smile.
“Really?” It made her feel good to be wanted, even like this.
“Yes.” She breathed onto her skin before she moved her mouth back to catch Penny’s. How could she not feel that way, Penny was the definition of the word lovely. Her hand came down to brush the strap off of Penny’s flowing dress off her shoulder and brought her attention to her collarbone.
Her heart fluttered. Never before had anyone made such an admission. For a long time she felt isolated, too sick in the head to really believe there was happiness on her horizon. But then Jean rose like the sun to claim the day and Penny fell hard.
Hand would come up to cup Jean’s cheek as they kissed. Fingers would slip into her hair, tousling the strands. Her shoulder shook gently, sending the freed strap cascading down her arm about midway.
Her hands went to Penny’s other strap to dip it down like the other one, pressing her lips against the skin there. If someone had asked Jean to stop she was very well sure she couldn’t at this point. She freed herself from Penny’s grasp just for a moment so that she could unzip her dress and step out of it. She might have stopped by a local boutique for some modern 1950’s undergarments as well and she came to sit next to Penny again.
This was vulnerability for Jean, showing her body off like this. In her recent encounters with other women there was alcohol and a dark hotel room. Here, she was sober as the day she was born. She waited for Penny’s reaction, hoping she didn’t disappoint.
Only when Jean began to pull away, to sever the kiss, did her eyes open and the veil of reality came back. She took a breath, hands folding behind her own back to undo the zipper of the bodice of her dress. Working the thing down the fabric parted coaxed by lithe fingers and Penny would slide out of the top entirely, leaving behind voluptuous breasts clothed in lace.
She would rise only to shimmy out of the rest of the garment leaving it puddled on the floor at her feet. Her lower half would be exposed in a matching bottom piece.
And then she sat down next to Jean again. Her eyes roamed over Jean, hungry but patient. “You are beautiful,” she murmured, leaning over to catch the other woman’s mouth, hand moving to cup the side of Jean’s face.
What transpired next easily was one of the best nights Jean had experienced in her short life and she found herself already falling hard for Penny. It wasn’t fair to either of them really considering they had such a short amount of time together. She watched Penny as she lay next to her, comfortable in her own skin, resting in her own wagon and she couldn’t help but admire how peaceful she looked. Jean had yet to find some semblance of it.
She gently pulled herself out of the bed to find her clothes strewn along the floor. It was a feeling she had been familiar with before they jumped ahead in time. Leaving before the morning and it didn’t cross her mind to stay. Sadly, Jean wasn’t that graceful sometimes and the floorboards creaked loudly beneath her feet.
She had always been somewhat of a light sleeper. The rain could wake her from a dead sleep if it was loud, if someone was talking or laughing too loud she would rouse from slumber. It wasn’t any different as the bed shifted and then the floor began to creak.
Her eyes slid open. “Jean?” A sleepy murmur of her friend's name. “Would you not stay?”
Jean considered this a moment. She wanted nothing more in the world but to stay, but she didn’t think Penny wanted her there. She sat down on the edge of the bed to regard her more closely.
“Do you want me to? I just assumed you’d want your space.” Clearly it had been too long since she’d actually liked someone enough to do that.
“Oui,” she said sleepily. A smile crept onto her face and her hand reached out to settle gently over Jean’s closest to her. “Please, I would like very much if you stayed.” Now, forever, however long the other woman wanted.
“Please,” she said again. That hand would move only to turn the sheets back in a silent way of telling the other to get back into bed.
She smiled at that, she hadn’t really wanted to stay with any of the other women she’d been with in the last few years, none except for Penny. “Alright.” She replied and climbed under the blankets to snuggle in closer to her.
She was so beautiful and Jean wasn’t sure how she got so lucky but there it was. “Goodnight.” She said before stealing a kiss from Penny’s lips.
“Bon nuit, Cher,” Penny murmured. Her eyes closed, she drifted back into the ether of sleep, tucked gently against Jean. The warmth of the other woman was satisfying and relaxing, like stepping into a bath. It would be easy to fall asleep like this and while that may have frightened others, she welcomed the comfort and stability that she had lacked for many years.