Who: Annie and Kieran What: Meal Delivery and a Heart-to-heart When: Saturday 20th June, after lunch Where: Jack and Kieran’s wagon Rating: Mild Status: Complete
It was less than a week since she had signed up at Zion, and while the job that she had now wasn’t exactly glamorous in any way it did give her a sense of achievement and she felt it would give her an opportunity to meet pretty much everyone in the carnival at some stage or another. She had huddled with a few others from the mess for the ‘move’, unsure of exactly what was going on Annie just did what she was told, maybe after it was all over someone would explain it to her.
Annie thought that it felt weird to be back in the 1950’s, especially in Hollywood during ‘the Golden Age’. To be honest she couldn’t remember where she had been in 1950 the first time around, years just seemed to blend into one another and only the big events seemed to stand out in her memory. At least here at this time they’d be safe, even though the Korean War would start in a few weeks time she was sure that no one would get caught up in that.
She had noticed the absence of one of her fellow angels - Kieran - during the lunch run, come to think of it she didn’t think she had seen him at breakfast either. Piling some of the food that was left onto a plate Annie asked one of the other kitchen staff where Kieran might be found and started off towards the wagon, the plate of food held between her hands.
To say things had been rough for Kieran was an understatement. Without his knowledge Jack had gone on a possible suicide mission and has given himself frostbite in the process. How that happened in the middle of the summer in New Orleans he couldn’t say but it wouldn’t be the first time something strange had eluded him. He loved Jack, more than he could remember loving anyone and the betrayal had hurt him deeply. Never before had someone been so careless of his feelings.
On the other side of his grief was watching Jack get hurt again. Every time it became more difficult and while he still harbored feelings of betrayal, he worried more about Jack's wellbeing.
When a knock came to the door he stood and opened it wide to allow whomever it was to come into the wagon. He’d seen her before, she had barely been there but something about her seemed familiar. “Can I help ye?” He asked, the look of exhaustion written all over his face.
She had hoped that Kieran was there and would open the door, though it seemed like the community of Zion was more trusting of those within their circle, she guessed that when the gates opened that everyone was immediately more cautious of theft and harassment from the general public. But if he was out for some reason, she’d just leave the plate of food at the door and hope that some critter wouldn’t run off with it.
When Kieran did open the door she offered him her warmest smile. “You missed out on breakfast this morning, so I brought you lunch.” Glancing down at the plate before back up at him. “You need to keep your strength up, brother, and a hearty meal is just the key.”
He allowed her to come into the wagon and pulled a chair over so that she could sit. He placed the plate down on a small table but didn’t bother to touch it. He returned his gaze back to Jack and placed a hand along his forehead to check his temperature. He’d been lucky to get some modern medical supplies while they were in 2020 but he only used them in the medical tent. He looked over at his food and at her with a shrug.
“I cannae eat now. Don’t have the appetite.” He said forlornly, his head down in anguish. He’d never talked to anyone about Jack, not since they’d been together and things were starting to pile up in his mind.
She sat down on the offered chair and watched as Kieran put the plate down before checking on the sleeping man who’s name eluded her at that moment, she knew it would take her a good while to learn everyone’s names, but what was clear to her was that Kieran cared deeply about him.
“Just a little bit?” A tiny smirk played on her lips, even if he wasn’t looking at her to be able to see it. “I won’t even be mad if you don’t touch the sprouts.” Even if he didn’t have an appetite he still needed to eat, Annie could already see that Kieran was not at his best and could do with some food and more importantly some decent, worry free sleep but she felt that the later wouldn’t be for a while yet.
He looked over at the food again and grabbed the chicken, tearing off a piece to stuff into his mouth. It was hard to swallow down but he managed. Finally he really looked at her and noticed the glow that was barely present. She was like him. “Sister, are ye new around here? I haven’t seen many like myself around these parts.” He asked her, returning his gaze to Jack was out cold.
Seeing him eat a bit of chicken made Annie feel much better, he was picking at it at least and she wouldn’t have to feed him like a baby to make sure he had something in his belly. She also saw that spark of recognition appear in his eyes as he looked at her while chewing on the chicken. Leaning forward a bit she nodded in response to his question. “I am. Joined just this week... well, before we left. Something drew me towards Zion and there’s only so much resisting you can do before you just have to give in.” Of course she knew that Kieran was a healer, she had heard of his profession from others in the cookhouse and it didn’t take a genius to figure out that a healer angel would be working in the medical tent.
He offered her as good a smile as he could and folded his hands in his lap, stealing glances over at Jack often. “What is it ye do?” He asked her, and he knew she knew he didn’t mean at the carnival. He wanted to know what sort of angel she was. A healer like him? A shepherd? He didn’t know.
He hand came back to gently caress Jack’s arm in the sad hopes he might wake up from some encouragement.
She knew what kind of question it was, Kieran wasn’t the first angel that she had met since she had been reborn. “Guardian.” A glance over at the man lying on the nearby bed. “I seem to be drawn to those who belong to minority groups because of race, religion, sexual preference… things like that. And it’s not like Zion isn’t full of them.” While she didn’t know the particulars as yet she could sense them, the people that although they might not need her guardianship that force still made her want to protect them nonetheless.
Although she had only spent the past few minutes with Kieran, it was becoming clear to her through his subtle gestures that the two men in the wagon were a couple, or were going to be. Again, it was all in her senses. “Like yourselves. Come now brother, tell me.”
He looked at Jack sadly and then back at her. “He was a wee lad when we met. Had been in this accident and couldn’t walk. I tried...so very to heal him but he’d already healed the wrong way, I couldn’t do anything for him.” If he was honest Kieran had not had any dealings with other angels in his life but he was glad not to be the only one.
“He’s always felt like my biggest failure.” He added, a solemn look on his face. Without much encouragement he continued. “It took a long time for us to be together. If I’m being honest I’ve always loved him, always wanted to watch after him.”
He sighed and carded his fingers through his curls. “When his mum died he slipped into a coma, a long one and I’d thought I’d lost him.” Perhaps he’d come back just like him but he wouldn’t remember Kieran, just like Kieran didn’t remember his life before.
“As soon as we got to the future it happened again, he was in a coma for a few days. It felt like my heart was breaking all over again.”
The tears came slowly and never diligently but they were there. “And then he went to save Edi. He knew it was dangerous and he left me without saying a word. Just a note. He betrayed me, didn’t bother to consider an open line of communication, just left.” In honesty, he didn’t know what to think anymore, being a mixture between still upset and sad that Jack was in this state yet again.
Annie listened as Kieran started to talk, she didn’t say anything yet as she knew that at that moment he needed a sympathetic ear, to get out all those things that were trapped inside and ease that burden that often felt like it was crushing or squeezing the life out of you. When he talked about his partner, she could see the love that they had, could see all the things they had gone through.
Leaning forward she took one of his hands in hers. “Despite what we might wish, our powers aren’t limitless, we can only do so much and often we belittle ourselves over it. ‘Why couldn’t I do this? Why couldn’t I help this person?’ I’ve done it and I can tell you have too. You are not a failure. To heal a spine, all the intricate nerves and everything… even the medical science of 2020 was struggling with that, angel or not, you did the best you could.” A pause for breath and a glance to their side. “I don’t know what your medical texts from 1920 say, but resting can sometimes be the body and mind’s way of healing itself, and you know some wounds take longer to heal than others. To do what he did…” even if she didn’t know what it was he did, yet.. “takes a lot out of him, his body is telling him to sleep through the recovery.”
She was there when Kristoph had talked about Edi and how they had got her back, so she had an idea of what Kieran was talking about at least. “Why do you think he betrayed you? Because he didn’t tell you personally and just left you a note?” Annie asked, “Did you ever think that maybe he did that because he was afraid of what you might say or do? That he felt responsible and wanted to fix a wrong? Or maybe time was of the essence and he didn’t have time to go and find you?” While she didn’t know the details, she was throwing out hypothetical questions nonetheless.
He sighed and shook his head. “He didn’t trust me enough to want to discuss it. He doesn’t trust me enough to believe that I would let him do what was so important for him.” He wiped the tears from his eyes. “I love him and I’m willing to make sacrifices but he has to meet me halfway.” Jack had been up intermittently to relieve himself and to eat but mostly Kieran kept him sedated so that he didn’t have to be awake through all the pain.
He thought more about it as he looked over at Jack. “I dunno, I want things to be alright but they just aren’t.” They hadn’t slept in the same bed for a while and the distance between them grew every day.
“Or maybe he trusted you too much, he knew that you would react like this to the situation and he knew that it was something that he must do without you, a burden that was on his shoulders that he didn’t want you to get lumped with it too.” She said, trying to get Kieran to see if from the other side of the coin. “A wise woman of my time said ‘It is easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission.’ Though I’m sure there’s a variant of that saying in the 20’s.”
She patted his knee, hoping that he took it as a reassuring gesture. “Every relationship has bumps along the road, it’s just a case of do you navigate through them together, or do you let go of the wheel and run off into a ditch. I can’t answer the questions for you, but if you two need a mediator, I’m good at listening.”
He looked up at her and offered her a small smile, the biggest one he could muster. “I appreciate it sister, sometimes it feels like we should be above human emotion but it doesn’t work like that.” He clasped his hands together and looked down at them. The truth was that he knew Jack's heart, knew that Jack loved him just as much as he loved Jack. That was the reason his deception hurt so much.
But the way things had been with them wasn't what Kieran wanted their relationship to look like, not when Jack's time in this world was so limited. Someday he’d die just like the rest of them. “Ye ever been in love?” He asked her, looking up from his clasped hands.
That was true, despite the fact they weren't really human anymore, they still felt the emotions and everything just like they would've in their past life. Love and loss still hurt.
Annie was leaning forward a bit, elbows resting on thighs as Kieran asked her a question. She nodded. "I was… or thought that I was. But she… when she found out I was different, that I would never age and outlive her, she left me. Took a few years to get over that one."
His eyes softened as she told her sad tale. He leaned forward to place a reassuring hand on her knee. “I’m sorry that happened to ye.” He leaned back and brought his hand to his lap again. He sighed as he looked over at Jack. “I’ve been in love four separate times.” He began, leaning over to Jack to wipe a bit of sweat from his brow.
“They all perished, in war and in old age.” It was a sad life as an angel to see acquaintances and friends live and die before your very eyes. He remembered Marlena, a woman he’d spent many years with. Toward the end the people around them just suspected he was her grandson and it broke his heart to see her die.
“Suppose that’s why I’m eager to keep him alive as long as I can.” With his behavior as of late it seemed as if Kieran would always be a step behind Jack's health.
"After that first time…" Annie shrugged, "I guess I realised it was better not to fall in love again, save myself the heartache. Easier to stick with flings and friends with benefits." Though she knew that Kieran had probably never heard of that term it was a bit more explanatory than 'fuck buddies'.
She watched as Kieran wiped the man's brow, that was definitely love, the most pure kind and it made her happy to see that despite everything at least love endured.
"He's… different than the others, isn't he?" She could tell he wasn't a normal human but what kind of being he was still stumped her, she'd learn soon enough. "You're both very lucky."
“He’s magic.” He replied without looking back at her. It was safe to say that he didn’t mean that metaphorically. She would have noticed by now that most people at Zion were different and he meant it quite literally. “Now without it’s consequences. He’s why we were in 2020, he’s why we’re in 1950. He was in a coma after the last one.” He elaborated.
He returned his gaze to her. “Thank ye for the food, sister, I’m afraid it’s been far too long since I’ve had a bite.”
Of course one of the first things that Annie had figured out was that Zion was some sort of haven for the different, the auras of some people talked of many species and she had heard of Magi and magic makers but it wasn't really something that was talked about in the big, wide world. "He's pretty powerful to be able to pull that kind of magic and move everyone and not just himself." She was impressed.
"It's no problem at all, brother. I can bring some dinner and dessert over tonight if you feel like it, a bit extra incase he wakes long enough to eat." She offered, delivering food to people and letting them tell their woes seemed like a pretty good gig, as long as she finished her job duties beforehand.
He offered her a smile. “I’d like that, thank ye.” He replied and mopped the sweat from Jack's head again. It would have taken much longer for him to heal if it weren’t for Kieran but it was still a slow process. “Don’t hesitate to drop in anytime. It’s been a long time since I’ve had good company.” He added because it really did create a balm over his heart.
"I hope you two like pudding." She grinned, standing up from her chair. As much as she was enjoying the chat, she probably should get back to the mess tent and see if there were any others who might enjoy a delivered meal. "I will. You can find me at the mess or the community tent, I haven't got myself somewhere else private to live, as yet."