Cecilia Rynbë (bloominsnow) wrote in zenithrp, @ 2016-05-05 22:00:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | #day 033, cecilia |
Who: Cecilia (and Neptune, as always).
When: Early morning.
Where: Cecilia's room.
Cecilia’s mouth and throat had gone dry as she read the message, and the sense of unease building within her was strong enough to catch Neptune’s attention. As a PTSD dog he was trained to spot certain cues. Abrupt changes in temperature, heart rate, stance… plenty of little things to warn of the storm to come. It wasn’t so bad early on. He just cocked his head in her direction, waiting to see if there was going to be a problem.
Hell, Cecilia was waiting to see if there was going to be a problem. She didn’t want to close that ridiculous message, knowing that once it did it would all begin. She hated this. Objected to it in every way she could. Doing this would go against every instinct she had. She couldn’t play this game, wouldn’t, and that was that. The idea made her nervous, but she had almost resolved herself to it when Neptune walked over, and simply placed his chin on her knee. He looked up at her with his bright blue eyes, full of love and trust, and suddenly a splinter of ice took hold in Cecilia’s heart. Her chest tightened, and she swore softly as she practically had to fight for breath against it.
She couldn’t afford a punishment. She could still feel the blood on her hands, hear the sounds of his cries that they’d made her listen to.
Cecilia nodded, as though convincing herself of what was to be done. “Okay,” she murmured, petting Neptune’s head. “It’s gonna be okay.” She took a few deep, steadying breaths, and felt calmer and capable of dealing with it all when she closed their message. The first quote had her face contorting in disgust, but she powered through. It didn’t take long to realize how it was going to work, all grouped up. That was the best way to hurt someone, wasn’t it? If they split it up, it would probably be easier to tolerate. You’d get a breather, rather than the constant uncensored boom-boom-boom of people’s opinions of you.
In the beginning she found herself really trying, and simultaneously hating herself for it. When the quotes edged into more personal or intimate subjects, she found she simply couldn’t do it. It would have felt more than just wrong. With her own demons at her back, she simply could not violate herself by speculating on any of it. I can pass on those, she told herself. It’ll still be okay, probably. As she went through the quotes about Chase, it would be impossible or inaccurate to say Cecilia became comfortable with what she was doing, but it felt bearable. It was something she could do, and maybe she wouldn’t like it, and she was certain their answers would be made public later, but perhaps she could do damage control before that happened. She was thinking about how bad this could be for someone like Marco or Pam, and the first time she saw her own name on the screen she was utterly unprepared for it. It hit her like a truck.
"Anyone else think [Cecilia]'s got lips made for dick sucking?"