(ง'̀-'́)ง (future_dust) wrote in zenithrp, @ 2015-11-14 00:48:00 |
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Entry tags: | #day 008, juno, marco |
Who: Juno and Marco
Where: Billiards room
When: Around 2pm
This was all wrong. Not like it had really ever been right, but the wrongness of today had seeped deeper into Juno's skin, made her nerves twitch and hairs stand on-end. If she had mostly been able to stave off the deep dark cloud that tended to tangle around her mind - if clouds could tangle - the day before, today she wasn't even trying anymore. Everyone knew everything she hadn't wanted them to know about her now, why bother trying to stay sound? There was no point. Even less when she considered she might be maimed beyond repair tomorrow, physically or mentally, for surely failing.
Juno had decided not to check the network again after making the post. Maybe later, maybe not. She didn't think it made a difference. She could feel doom come down on her as if it were an actual anvil. She had tried to sleep for most of the morning, without success, and ignored her rumbling stomach the entire day. Sure, her body might think she needed food, but her mind didn't; she couldn't bring herself to even think about food without feeling sick.
After hours upon hours of sitting alone in a corner of her room, playing the events of the few hours that comprised today so far in her head, Juno really felt like having a drink. In the back of her mind she was perfectly conscious that if she hadn't been tipsy the previous evening she might not have gone through with the request she had been mulling over on-and-off all day; but that, too, was moot by now.
Do it. Numb yourself out while you can. You won't be able to tomorrow. Fuck knows what that'll be like tomorrow. she heard in her head, while at the same time she reasoned that bad things happened when she got 'numb'. Not as bad as what tomorrow's going to be like.
There was a need Juno felt deep inside her bones to calm her nerves. It was getting to be painful the way she was tensed up, shaking, fidgeting and tugging at her hair. Much like she had done the previous day, she debated with herself whether or not to risk making it down to the only place she knew stored booze. Juno didn't want to see anybody, or talk to anybody. You just want to drown, it occurred to her. Drown and drown it out. Go.
In one swift movement she was on her feet, not bothering to change out of the capris, and throwing her altered band t-shirt over the sports bra. She couldn't be bothered to put on some shoes. Stepping outside the room, Juno looked to her right to find the blonde nurse, Cecilia, parked outside Rhett's room like she had suddenly changed careers and become a prison guard. Immediately turning her head, Juno sped through the hall and down the stairs all the way to the ground floor. Crossing the foyer like a bolt of lightning, Juno stopped short of the kitchen, wondering if Jack would be inside. She didn't want to see Jack, not after his post on the network. She had explained her original intention later, and maybe he had understood, but all the same seeing him wasn't in her plans right now. All she needed was to cross it and get to the bar, get some bottles, and go back up to her room. With luck, she would be too sedated or sick to notice when they came for her in the morning.
For her own sake, Juno didn't look around her intended path as she sprinted through the kitchen onto the billiard room at last. Once there, Juno froze as if she were a deer in headlights, looking up at the shelf of booze. Numbness and quiet, it won't matter in a while, and you'll be alone. Can't hurt anyone. she convinced herself, and slid behind the bar to look for her intended poison. Only then did her eyes shift down to one of the stools, and she sighed heavily. Marco was here too. After a moment of staring at him as if to wish him gone in a poof of smoke, Juno pulled a bottle of an amber liquid from the shelf, unscrewed the cap, and downed a shot that hit her right in her empty stomach.