"I haven't decided," Oliver replied, but he hoped Marco at least knew he wasn't going to get it back again. There was a long pause as Oliver considered the last, and the shook his head again. "It's got nothin' to do with being big and strong. I...actually got ahold of the pills. But...every time I thought about takin' one, I saw the look Jason gave me when he caught me that one time. It didn't make me feel guilty, it just...it reminded me that he wasn't there anymore. That if things got bad, I wouldn't have him. And I wouldn't be able to quit without him next time."