"I thought I was never going to see you again." He'd done his best not to ruminate on it, not to spend long chunks of time just rehearsing in his head the different ways it might have gone. Was it quick, was it slow, mass grave, crematorium, what, how, how... He'd been able to focus on worrying about Marco instead, trying to support and nudge him back to something resembling healthy functioning. He hadn't talked about Gemma very much, either to Marco or to Kate, not because they weren't sympathetic but because Erran felt guilty accepting sympathy.
"At best, at best, I thought you might have been sent home. But I knew...probably not." He put his arm around her blanket-shrouded shoulders, partly to try to still her shaking and partly because nothing felt real to him either right now. "I thought you were dead, I thought they'd killed you..."