Who: Juno & Marco When: Around noon Where: Oliver's Room
What a shitty ass day. And it had barely begun, truth be told. Juno didn’t know which way to turn right now, feeling a little shellshocked and out of it after the sheer shitty catastrophe that had befallen the kitchen. All she supposed she could do was get on with her day as best she could and pretend she wasn’t hungry since she didn’t even want to be downstairs, let alone near the kitchen. Which reminded her, she had promised Marco a taco. Tough chance of that now.
Still, after showering she decided to head his way all the same, at least to see if he was doing okay. This time, even though she was kind of hot, Juno stopped by her room to get the ‘unicorn fish’ onesie and put it on over her shorts and top before knocking on Oliver’s door, hopping from foot to foot as she pulled her wet, loose hair up by the roots and shook it to give it some volume. “It’s me, Stitch!” she called after a second.
The fire in the kitchen had resumed Marco’s discomfort with the house. It was scary being there. The kitchen was common ground, which should have made it safer, right? Who would want to damage the kitchen? He was trying hard not to focus on his fear, so he wouldn’t go back to being the messed up version of himself again, but all he had thought of doing this morning was leaving. He just wanted to walk out the door and keep going until he couldn’t go any further. Then maybe he’d try to make a deal for safety, either with The Powers That Be or with the voices in his head. Either one.
Even though he was doing his best to ignore those thoughts, he was still dressed and ready to go when Juno knocked on his door. He’d forgotten that she had mentioned coming over, though he hadn’t forgotten the tokens he was supposed to give her, which he had cut off the Stitch onesie the night before. He wore both cuffs around each wrist, the elastic keeping them in place. He opened the door for her, and already felt happier. Not just because it was Juno, but because she was wearing her own onesie. For the moment, he forgot about leaving, and just smiled at his friend. “You’re a unicorn fish!”
The second Juno saw Marco’s smile she smiled too, pulling on the hood before taking a little twirl as he remarked on what she was wearing. She looked at him all dressed up, which she was no longer really used to, and then noticed the Stitch cuffs around his wrists, grinning. “You’ve got the cuffs! And are you going somewhere? Is this a bad time? I came over to apologize for not having a taco for you but...you know…”
Juno looked down at her bare feet and shrugged.
“Wha-- Oh! Yeah! Here.” Rather than do it the easy way, Marco gave Juno her cuffs by putting one of his hands over one of hers, and sliding the cuff over both their hands to her wrist, then switched hands and did the same with the other. “I was, um, thinking of leaving?” he explained as he did this, but pausing once she had both cuffs on to take her arms and raise her wrists to about eye level. Knowing that this was a good thing to do, he smiled again. “Also, since it’s elastic, you can probably use one as a scrunchie. Or you can ask Kate to touch up my cutting, I just kind of, umm…” He used to fingers to mime cutting with scissors.
For a brief moment while Marco put his hands over hers Juno’s brow furrowed, and then she chuckled under her breath at the complicated way he chose to give her the cuffs. She frowned again, however, when he told her he was thinking of leaving.
“Leaving? What do you mean leaving? Where were you gonna go?” The frown wasn’t disappearing even when he smiled again, although she did pull her hair to the side and braided it quickly to use one of the cuffs as a scrunchie like Marco had suggested. She shook her head at his suggestion. After all the cuffs would do exactly what she needed them to as they were, and meant even more if untouched by someone else. But she didn’t want him to know that. She didn’t even understand that herself. “Doesn’t need improving.”
Marco kept smiling, and in his attempt to avoid talking about leaving, he took the end of Juno’s braid and wiggled it, then brushed the scrunchie up against her cheek. “Fluffy!” he said, his voice high and playful. He glanced at her, hoping she would smile and he would be off the hook, but eventually he sighed and let go of her hair. “I don’t know where I was going. I was just gonna walk. It’s a bad idea, and if you could keep me here, that’s… Um, yeah.” He wasn’t sure that explained anything, but he also wasn’t sure that his explanation was at all rational. He stepped out of the doorway to let her in, so they could actually talk.
It was, as evidenced by the upwards curving of Juno’s lips, hard not to smile when Marco wiggled her braid then brushed her face with the scrunchie. Especially in that voice. Juno couldn’t blame him for wanting to get out for a while but neither did she think it was a good idea, especially if he wasn’t completely certain if he was alright. She took a few steps forward when he stepped out of the way, put her hands on his shoulders, and motioned softly to turn him around and walk him inside the room. “Well then you’re not going anywhere. We’ve got an appointment and I’m a unicorn fish and baby it’s fucked up outside.”
Marco arched an eyebrow as Juno started to turn him around, but he smiled softly and let her do it, allowing himself to be pushed until they were at the couch. He sat down heavily and made a show of slouching over like a ragdoll. “But Juno, there was supposed to be a taco,” he said, poking out his lower lip to pout dramatically. “I like that you’re a unicorn fish, though. We should probably ask someone what the hell you’re supposed to be, though, right? I don’t know. I still like it.”
Once she lead Marco to the couch Juno turned back to close the door, and then went back to join him, having absolutely no problems in throwing herself onto it with her feet on his thighs even though he was slouching like he was melting. She adjusted her head on the arm of the couch while he spoke. “I know Stitch,” she pouted back. “But I’m not even sure how much of a kitchen there is now, let alone tacos.”
Chuckling, Juno shrugged, wiggling her toes. “I don’t care, I like ‘unicorn fish’. Such a cool fantasy creature you invented. We should ask Lennon to actually draw it, not like this onesie but like a really plausible hybrid.”
“What do you mean? Like a seahorse with a horn?” Marco wondered as he sat up straight again. He tilted his head back to rest on the back cushion, but turned to face Juno still. “I need to message Lennon or something. I should check on that guy.” He could probably ask Juno how he was, since he knew that they had watched a movie together, but if he wanted to keep that friendship, it would be better to message him himself.
He sighed when he thought about the kitchen, but thought it best not to talk about it. It still scared him. “So no taco… That means talking about my paranoia, I guess?” He made a face to show how less than thrilled he was about that, but then smiled softly again. “And grandma kisses.”
“Something like that. Or like an actual fish with a horn, not a swordfish, a unicorn horn, you know they’re different. A pink dolphin with a horn!” She propped herself up on her elbows. “Oh I hung out with him last night, he said that too. One of you needs to fucking message the other already, damn.”
Laying back down, Juno put an arm under her head and shrugged the other shoulder. “If you’re into it, no worries if not.” she laughed as Marco reminded her of the grandma kisses, although she was completely unable to keep from blushing. She wiggled her toes again, raising her feet threateningly close to his face playfully. “And smooshes!”
“Okay, okay. I’ll do it today, after you leave. Unless I fall asleep.” Marco was still finding it hard to shake the feeling that Lennon was mad at him. There weren’t really facts to back that up, but he felt like it was true. Kind of like the being locked up thing. He didn’t dwell on it, though, as Juno wiggled her toes in his face. He grabbed her foot by her toes, smirking mischievously, but thankfully he didn’t tickle her. “Well… I don’t know, what do you think?” he asked, unsure of if he was ready to talk yet. But if not now, when?
“He’s not mad at you, by the way, says he has no reason to be, he’s just been out of it.” Juno said. It felt like she might as well not leave that important detail out of the conversation while they were on the subject. When he grabbed her toe Juno held her breath, obviously expecting being tickled, but when it didn’t happen she decided she couldn’t handle the pressure. “It’s up to you, I don’t have to think anything, Stitch!”
Pulling the foot from his grasp, Juno turned around on the couch and laid her head on Marco’s lap instead of her feet, crossing her legs over the couch arm. She looked up at him and smiled. “If you wanna talk, I’m listening.”
“He said that?” Marco said as Juno shifted positions. He wasn’t sure yet if that made it any better, and he forgot about it as soon as Juno had her head in his lap. For a moment he just stared down at her, confused, before smiling softly again. “Um… Um… I don’t know what to say, though,” he whispered. “Ask me questions, or something. I don’t remember what I was supposed to tell you.” He took the end of her braid again and dragged the ends of her hair over her face, poking it into the tip of her nose and making quiet little “beep boop” noises.
“Yeah! He’s totally not mad, but he’s kinda down and I think you two could really use each other right about now, if you ask me. Which you didn’t, but still.” Juno replied, blinking up at him until he smiled back. “You’re supposed to explain to me what to do to bring you down when you’re having an… episode, or whatever you call it. So you don’t spiral so bad.”
Laughter started bubbling up within Juno, blowing up into a straight chuckle when he poked her with her own braid while making a ‘beep boop’ noise. She decided to take the braid from his hand and brush him in the nose with it. Juno had to raise her head a little to do so, but she got to him before resting her head on his lap again.
Marco’s grin grew wide as Juno sat up a bit and dragged her braid across his nose, and he breathed a few quiet laughs as he tried not to blush. He liked that they could just sit and do weird stuff like this, and she didn’t mind. It helped, even when he was being asked about how to deal with his delusions. He let himself enjoy the moment for a moment longer, then he took a deep breath and shrugged. “No, that… That’s not how this works, even if you knew what to say. I was gonna spiral. I might still spiral; this place is a lot to deal with, and it’s been building, you know? But, um…”
He took her braid back, this time just rubbing the ends of her hair with his thumb. “You can’t agree with me or disagree with me when I’m delusional,” he explained softly. “If you agree, it confirms the delusion, but if you disagree, then I start to think you’re tricking me. Which, um, you saw.” He winced. “I’m still sorry about that.”
Juno settled down to listen when Marco started talking, nodding when he said he would still spiral if he were headed that way anyway. She tried not to look as sad and worried about that as she felt, smiling - and blushing, again - when he touched her hair again. As he went on, Juno couldn’t hide the concern and slight bewilderment she felt. Her brows drew together. “But-but if I can’t agree or disagree what do I do instead? What do I say to you? What if I can’t always tell you ‘let’s take a walk’ like Erran did that time?” she shrugged, looking in his eyes. “That’s past, don’t even think about it anymore.”
Marco’s brow creased, and he was quiet for a moment, but he tilted his head and changed his expression as if he was having a silent conversation with himself. He whispered a few noises, but past that, it took a moment for him to figure out a response. “Yeah, that’s a good question,” he said at last. “Um… You can try telling me that I’m sick, but that might not work because I don’t usually realize… Or, um, you could try telling me that you understand, but your reality is different than mine. I know that sounds dumb, and it might not work either… Um... “ He shrugged. “Distract me. You… Yeah. I don’t know, all of it sucks, and I don’t want to hurt you again.”
Juno sighed, trying not to look too disappointed. She hadn’t been expecting any easy answers but she felt right back where she’d started, although at least now she understood better.
“I- okay. I’ll try all of those and hope for the best. It’s okay, Stitch, I promise. I just want you to be okay. Now I understand it better, maybe I can actually help.” She doubted it, but there was hope. And maybe it would be awhile before he freaked out so badly again. To assure Marco that she was fine with what he said she smiled up at him and then booped him on the nose again, this time with her index finger, actually making the ‘boop’ sound, despite feeling silly as all hell doing it, especially in a ‘unicorn fish’ onesie. At least she felt comfy. She hoped he did too.
Marco looked disappointed enough for the both of them. He knew that there was no easy answer, and he wished that he had had one for Juno. This was another let down, and another complication in being his friend that people didn’t need. Before he could get too depressed, though, Juno booped his nose, and it was hard to be upset through that. He blushed, but still laughed, then stuck his tongue out at her. All the while, he kept playing with her braid.
“Are there any other questions that you have that I can suck at answering?” he asked her. “Am I… Am I doing alright today?”
Today was crappy enough as it was. And they had been doing so well, that Juno didn’t want to ruin the streak. So, she decided to try to cheer Marco up, and herself, and not think about bad stuff any more than she did naturally. She made a funny face at him when he stuck his tongue out, then smiled.
“Hmmmmm...let’s see...What’s the square root of six hundred and ten, and, who would win in a fight between Storm and Thor and...does the Pope shit in the woods? Actually that one’s probably better to ask Jim. Unless it’s a secret and no one really knows for sure. Oh! Who shot first? Han or Greedo?” With her heart skipping a beat or two, Juno raised her hand and rubbed her thumb over Marco’s cheek. “You’re doing just fine. Just great.”
Without warning, she moved her hand over his nose, trapping it between her index and middle fingers and tugged on it.She showed him her thumb between both fingers. “Got your noooose!”
Marco arched an eyebrow. “Uh, math is hard, Thor, that is for sure a Jim question but I’d still say that no, he probably has a holy toilet, aaaaand how can you even ask me that question?” he rattled off. When she pretended to take his nose, he grabbed her wrist, and with an appropriate chomping noise, pretended to bite her fingers. He still felt like if she had questions, she should ask them now, while he was lucid enough to give answers, but being goofy was nice.
He “chomped off” another one of her fingers before he changed gears suddenly and smiled down at her. “Hey! Are you still doing your sleepover tonight? With the cannibal ghost stories?”
Juno wasn’t very convinced. “Thor? Why? He controls lightning, she controls the entire weather. She’d control his lightning. And trap his hammer in, like, a fog bubble or something. And I feel like you deflected the Star Wars question because you don’t remember.” She said, narrowing her eyes.
“No! You just ate your own nose, Marco, why?!” Juno joked, laughing and wiggling her fingers as he pretended to bite them. “I don’t know, I need to ask Jim if we’re still on. But I never wanna hear that particular story again.”
She feigned a shiver. “So creepy.” Juno went quiet for a moment, then looked up at Marco. “So, um, when you’re about to have a..thing, do you get like a sign? Like people who get migraines, they get weird head warnings before it comes on, or women get certain symptoms before- nevermind. Do you? Because if you told me about them maybe we could, I don’t know, prep? I don’t know if there’s prep to be done but in case there is. At least I could prep myself mentally. And you too, I guess.”
“Wait, what was the Star Wars question?” Marco joked, and pretended to bite off another one of her fingers before continuing. “Yeah, but Thor’s a god. If he hits Storm with his hammer, Storm is like super dead, I’m thinking. And what’s she gonna do, rain on him?” He brought a hand up to his nose, jokingly checking that it was still there, then smiled again.
He stayed quiet for a moment as he tried to think up the answer to her more serious question. As he thought he absently tried to curl and uncurl the fingers on the hand Juno had surrendered to him. “There probably are, but I don’t know, I don’t see them,” he explained as he focused on her hand. “The octopus, Liam, he used to be a sign that I was losing touch, but I see him all the time lately. Other than that… The fun think about being a schizo is that you don’t know that you’re sick most of the time. I guess, just, um… If I seem really stressed, or confused?” He snickered. “More than normal, I mean.”
He hesitated, then leaned over a little so he could whisper. “So I really can’t ask about the space suit?”
Juno scoffed. “Storm is the very personification of nature and shit we can’t control! She can make blizzards and fog, thunder and lightning and she can level cities if she wants to! Thor’s a Norse god but he isn’t a nord he’ll get buried under a ton of snow and won’t even be able to call on the hammer ‘cause everything’s frozen! And he’s not a god he’s a very powerful alien that ancient humans worshipped as a god because they didn’t know any better. Storm can take a hammer to the gut, man.”
After that entirely unexpected geeking-out session Juno didn’t even know she had in her, she once again listened to Marco, her heart fluttering annoyingly as she denoted that he hadn’t let go of her hand yet. She couldn’t help a small frown when he said that the octopus showed up all the time now. “Okay, so if you seem more stressed and confused than usual I’ll swoop in and try to, uh, I don’t know, distract you from what’s lurking in your head. Deal?”
Juno’s gut clenched when Marco leaned closer, but as he asked the question she burst into laughter. “There’s really nothing else to tell. It was this stupid play thing about the dangers of technology and how we’re so super attached to it we don’t know each other anymore, the usual bullshit. And I was super broke ‘cause I’d been fired for telling my manager to go fist herself, and my roommate asked if I could fill in for someone who’d, like, broken a limb or something. And so basically it’s me in a spaceship while sirens go off all around me and red lights and I'm supposed to say,” she cleared her throat. "Ground Control this is Technology and I cannot assemble my brake! I cannot stop I will crash on earth I will crash earth!" and then the sirens get louder and I had to scream until everything went dark and that was it.”
“No. No no. Thor is practically an immortal. He’s super strong and, uh, I don’t know the word… Resistive? To all kinds of shit. He can fight The Hulk. Storm’s powers are really cool, and I want them, but she’s not gonna beat Thor,” Marco argued. The fact that Juno was arguing this with him was a pleasant surprise, though, and he had no idea that she even knew about this stuff. “Ask Jim!” he told her. Jim knew comics.
He nodded as Juno made her agreement to distract him, while he curled her hand into a fist, then uncurled her pointer finger. “Okay, deal. Just, um, if it doesn’t work, don’t be offended? Please?” He bent her arm back down, and made her boop her own nose. He couldn’t help but laugh along with her spacesuit story and he wished that he could have seen the play. It sounded awful. “This is Ground Control to Major Tom, you’ve really made the graaade,” he sang softly.
Juno huffed, uncrossing her legs only to cross them again. “I think you’re wrong but fine, whatever, I don’t wanna outnerd the nerd here. Nerd.”
She narrowed her eyes as she watched him do things to her hand, wondering what he was up to. When he told her not to be offended she sighed deeply, looking at him with sad eyes. “I was never offended, Marco. I thought we had talked about this! I was sad, and hurt, and I knew it wasn’t your fault but it wasn’t being a good morning for me to begin with and then that was a blow. It wasn’t about being offended. I was scared you’d never want me near you again for fuck’s sake. I didn’t know what the hell to do with myself thinking you hated me forever, and then you were staying right next door to me, right here, and I couldn’t see you. It was scary.”
When Marco made her boop her own nose she chuckled lightly. “Bowie’s not entirely my shit but I love that one.”
“Ask Jim,” Marco said again, and he stuck his tongue out at being called a nerd.
His face softened as Juno explained her feelings about what happened, and somewhere in the middle of it he started shaking his head and didn’t stop until it was his turn to talk. “I didn’t mean offended,” he said, though he wasn’t sure that that was the truth. “But you know I’m probably going to hurt you and scare you again, and I can’t control that. I just… I want to make sure you’ll still be my friend. I’ve never really had friends before. Like you, I mean. I don’t… I don’t know, I don’t know what I’m saying.”
Juno blinked up at Marco with big, sad eyes. “I know, that’s not in question. You’ve told me that a thousand times. But I’ve also told you before that unless you hurt me selfishly, in some way that you could’ve avoided, I would always be here. And I mean it, ‘cause it’s the same for me. I don’t know what the hell it is with you but you mean more to me than anyone else I’ve ever met. So I’m going to be here, all day everyday. You’ll always be my favorite.”
She took his hand and pressed the back of it to her cheek. “But I can’t help it if whatever you end up saying or doing makes me sad, Stitch. I can’t turn off my feelings just because you don’t mean it, I just won’t hold them against you. You know what I mean?”
Marco took a deep breath and nodded. Always seemed so abstract to him, and it was hard to be told that she’d always be there for him and believe it. But damn it, did he want to. “Yeah, that’s okay, I think. I don’t want to make you sad, but, um… I think we’re on the same page.”
He took her other hand and brought it up to his own face, taking half a second to playfully pretend to nip at her again before he held her hand to his cheek, like she had done his. “You… Do you really mean what you said? That I mean more to you than anyone you’ve ever met?”
“Same page. Good.” Juno replied, moving to adjust her position and pull her knees up and against the couch. “If you make me sad you can always make it up to me later. With scarves, imaginary kittens, smooshes… Though I’m not that into kittens, maybe we’ll keep that one exclusive to you.”
The violent reddening of Juno’s cheeks couldn’t be helped, diffused or distracted from when Marco asked if she meant what she had said. Juno looked around nervously, unable to look at Marco this time, and nodded so softly she hardly moved her head. “Y-yeah. Yeah.” she mumbled.
“I don’t even know if I like kittens, I just thought it was a really funny thing to have one in your pocket,” Marco chuckled. There was no chance of Juno hiding how flushed she got. Hell, Marco still had his hand against her face, so he could feel the heat in her cheeks. For a moment he couldn’t help but think of how cute it was that she got all flustered, like he so often did, and at the realization that he’d thought that Juno was being cute, he felt his own face redden. Rather than make the same mistake she’d made, he pulled her hand away from his cheek, and went back to just absently curling and uncurling her fingers. “You… Uh, you know I don’t even know what smooshes would actually be,” he muttered.
“Could also be a rodent of some kind. A hamster, a guinea pig, a dwarf bunny…” Juno trailed off. Suddenly Marco sounded like some kind of weird Snow White adaptation and she couldn’t help but snicker at the thought.
When Marco moved her hand away, Juno thought she might have screwed things up. She had said too much, been too forward, and made him uncomfortable. She bit her bottom lip, the hand he was holding jerking ever so slightly as her first instinct was to move it away completely. “Don’t- it doesn’t matter. We were just joking around.” She muttered in reply, feeling very stupid and embarrassed all of a sudden. He hadn’t even said he felt the same away about her, which shouldn’t have bothered her as much as it did, and she hated that it had at all. She shifted uncomfortably, and got up from his lap, taking both hands away when she sat on the couch next to Marco. “Um, maybe I- maybe I should get going? I think I should get going.”
Marco seemed to be acting on a delay for a moment, and he blinked down at his lap where Juno’s head had been and held his hands up, opening and closing them, baffled by their sudden emptiness. “What? No, why?” he stammered, turning in his seat and watching her, expecting her to get up and rush out. He toyed with a few sounds before he spoke up again. “Did I do something wrong? Juno? I--I can fix it, but you have to tell me what I did.” Was smooshing something that he didn’t realize or understand? Was he not as ready to be around people as he hoped he was?
When he didn’t seem that into the idea of her leaving, Juno looked at him with surprise. She maintained the expression while he spoke, bewildered by the thought that Marco was the one who thought he had done something wrong. “You? No! I thought I did. I thought what I said...I mean it was pretty stupid and I thought maybe I’d made you uncomfortable. I’m sorry.” she lowered her head, shoulders sagging. Briefly, Juno wondered why she wasn’t leaving, and why she wanted so much to hear him ask her not to. This was all pretty pathetic of her. “It was pretty sappy, and silly, and I’m sorry. That’s all. And if you want me to leave you don’t have to pretend, you can tell the truth.”
“But… But I liked it,” Marco told her, figuring she meant the thing about him being her favorite and such. Her sudden apology for it made him much more uncomfortable than her statement had, and her insistence that he secretly wanted her to leave, just like last time, made him draw his gaze away from her and down to his lap. He hadn’t been uncomfortable before. Now he was.
He stood up suddenly, turning to face her and throwing his hands up in frustration. When he spoke, it was too loud, like he wasn’t sure how to handle what he wanted to say and his volume at the same time. “Juno! I have no idea what I feel about you! So, okay, it’s good, okay? But, but, it’s not any way I’ve ever felt before and I’ve done years and years of therapy for learning to be a people, and we never covered this, and, and, um,” he opened his mouth, but for a moment all that came out was a whine, before his mouth formed an almost comical frown. “I like it when you touch my face.” Which was kind of amazing, and he wasn’t sure if she knew that, or what it meant for him to be okay with that. “I don’t want you to leave.”
Juno didn’t know what to reply, so she remained quiet, looking down at her lap as he was. When Marco stood up all of a sudden she jumped; already anxious by the sudden movement, him throwing his hands up made Juno cower and retreat further into the couch, pulling her knees up to her chest. Every word he yelled at her made her wince; it didn’t matter that the content sounded almost lovely, surreal, impossible even. The fact of the matter was that by the time he revealed that he liked it when she touched his face, which Juno had a vague notion was miraculous because Marco didn’t like to be touched in general, Juno had tears in her eyes and was obsessively rubbing the Stitch cuff on her wrist. Nothing seemed too settled anymore, it was hard to breathe and her heart felt like it was going to explode.
“Okay,” her voice trembled as if she stood in a shaking platform, and Juno’s toes wiggled involuntarily and repetitively. Juno frowned, trying to keep from crying, but unable to look up at Marco. She started on getting her breath back under control. “Okay fine, I won’t. Please stop yelling.”
It took a moment for Marco to notice how distraught Juno was, and while before there had been confusion over who upset who and wanted Juno to leave and why, this time Marco was sure that it was him that upset her. “I wasn’t yelling,” he argued, but he’d switched to a whisper, because he kind of knew that he had been yelling. Rather than sit next to her again, he sat on the floor in front of her, quietly watching the space between them for what felt like too long, before finally sighing. “No, that… If you want to leave, you can. I can’t keep you here.”
Juno didn’t argue. In fact, she didn’t say much of anything, just tried to keep her panic under control. She still hugged her knees, setting her chin over them with a deep exhale. She stared exactly at the same spot as Marco did, drying her eyes with the back of her hand before returning to her previous position.
“I don’t know what I want.” she murmured, stroking the Stitch cuff with her fingers. “I just tend to run away when I feel stupid. I felt stupid so I wanted to run away. But also I didn’t ‘cause you… I… we were doing good. Sorry I made you mad I guess. I’ll just shut up.”
Marco sighed, and forced himself to look up at Juno. “I wasn't yelling,” he said again, “and I'm not mad. Like, not even a little. I was just saying something important.” He shrugged and looked back down at the floor, then at his shoes. He absently tugged at his shoelaces until they came undone. He didn't react to Juno’s tears, if he even noticed them at all. It was probably better if they just sat quietly for a little bit, and since Juno had decided to stop talking, Marco did the same, so he pulled the lace out of his shoe entirely and threw it, and the shoe, behind him and moved onto the next while he waited.
“Yes you were. Maybe not on purpose but your volume was definitely raised.” Juno murmured. Because if he hadn’t been, she might not have felt so freaked out. Tough chance of making Marco understand that, however, so she just shrugged back, contented that he said he wasn’t mad. Didn’t mean he wasn’t, but she’d take it. When she raised her eyes a little, Juno watched him undo his shoelaces, and pull them out, then throw everything. This didn’t bode well. Juno watched him do the same to his other shoe for awhile in silence before she gave into curiosity.“What’re you doing with your shoes, there?”
Marco just shrugged. “I don't want to sit still so I'm getting rid of energy,” he explained, though it sounded dumb when he said it out loud. He pulled the lace out completely before he looked up at Juno again and sighed. “How bad did I fuck this up?” He wondered, sure that this time it was definitely his fault that things had gotten mixed up. He didn't really want her to leave, but at the same time, he could only mess things up for himself when he was alone.
“Oh.” Juno replied. “So what do you wanna do? Run? Jump? Go swimming?”
It might have sound annoying but Juno was only trying to understand - and be accommodating. They had been sitting still up until now but of course that wasn’t good enough anymore. Her eyes darted slowly to his face when he looked at her, widening at the question. “I don’t think you did. You just scared me with your ‘not screaming’ and throwing your hands up in the air near me because that gets me nervous at the best of times and right now it’s not a best of times. Because anxiety’s at an all-time high.” she explained. After a second, Juno threw caution to the wind and descended from the couch to sit on the floor beside Marco. “How bad did I fuck things up though?”
“I don't think you did, I just don't know what to do about you being scared,” Marco admitted, his voice low. He lowered his gaze for a moment when Juno joined him on the floor, but he cautiously looked back and reached for her, booping her nose without making the corresponding sound effect. “I don't know what to do, I've been in this room for days and I'm starting to feel it… Um… Sorry. Sorry you were scared.”
“Well, tell me it’s gonna be okay and I’m okay and, I dunno, stroke my hair or some shit.” Juno shrugged. Strange though it seemed, being booped on the nose by Marco at that moment actually put Juno’s heart a little more at ease, anxiety giving way to amusement. She snickered under her breath, then very slowly and carefully leaned her head on his shoulder. “You wanna go somewhere else? You should get some air, it’s true. You haven’t been outside in a while, right? That messes you up, Stitch.”
Marco nodded, and hope he did better next time, and tried not to show how much it bothered him to know that there would be a next time. At least he was relaxed when Juno put her head in his shoulder, and he awkwardly did what she had recommended he could try next time, pat her hair and quietly said “you're okay.” There, already better. “I don't know. It's, um… It's hard to leave, and, um, I threw my shoe…? I don't know, I probably shouldn't throw my stuff out the window again.”
“Okay.” Juno didn’t sound convinced, as it seemed like he was only doing it because she had suggested it just then. Then again what other reason should he have to do it? She felt a mess. Whatever had seemed to be about to implode hadn’t, and they were back to pretending things were normal. Better that than worse, she supposed. “You definitely shouldn’t, yeah. How about we get some air by the window to start?” Standing up, Juno held out her hand to Marco, hoping he’d take it. “I don’t have shoes either and I find it really liberating, but let’s start with the wind through the window.”
Marco pointed over to the window. “Oliver has a balcony,” he told her. He wasn't sure what to do now, and Juno seemed just a little colder to him than before, whether she knew it was evident or not. Again, it made him wonder if he was reading her wrong, or reading the situation wrong, or what. It made him a little quieter, and more unsure of his mental state. He didn't make a move for the balcony, just looked back down at his shoes again, and left Juno’s hair alone in favor of taking her hand.
“Oh, that’s even better.” she replied with a smile. “Come on. Fuck your shoes, let’s hit the balcony and catch some sunshine. Or whatever’s out there weather-wise.”
Juno pulled him gently towards the balcony, her hand tight around his, opening the door to the balcony with the other. She blinked at the clarity of the day, then smiled encouragingly at Marco, not letting go of his hand.“Breathe it all in, Stitch. Let it hit your face.”
Marco stumbled as he let Juno drag him while he at the same time tried to remove the second shoe, managing to kick it off right before they made it to the balcony. He squeezed her hand and took a step closer to her, until their shoulders were pressed against each other. Being outside was nice. He hadn't gone out on the balcony because people would be able to see him from the yard, but now that he was feeling more comfortable, or at least less afraid, he found that he liked the fresh air, and he glanced at Juno with a lopsided smile to let her know this. He took a couple deep breaths of fresh air through his nose. “This is nice,” he decided. “I'm glad you're here and you get me to do things, Juno.”
Juno’s heart gave a bit of a tumble when Marco squeezed her hand, and another when he moved to stand closer to her. She smiled, then looked at him to assess how he was doing, and saw him smile back. That only made her smile wider. While she was here, Juno thought she would breathe in some fresh air, nodding in agreement when Marco said this was nice. She smiled again, glancing at Marco, and now it was her turn to squeeze his hand.
“I’m glad I’m here too. And you’re here. I’m glad we’re here.” She stopped talking, looked at him, and leaned in, then hesitated, then pressed the quickest kiss in the world to his cheek. “You know what I mean.”
Marco nodded, and turned his head to watch Juno after she pecked him on the cheek. That wasn't exactly the grandma kisses he was promised, but that was okay. He felt like maybe this quick shy kiss maybe meant more anyway. Feeling energetic again, he swung their entwined hands, and a laugh bubbled out of him. “I like us,” he told her, “but we’re a weird fucking pair. I think most of that's me, but some of it's definitely you, with your spacesuit history.”
Juno often failed to find things cute or even adorable, and when she did she kept her distance out of sheer bitterness; but seeing Marco swing their hands and then laugh was definitely the most adorable thing she’d seen in a good while, and she did not mind that one bit. She laughed, too, glad he was back to ‘okay’, and so was she. It made her feel a little warm inside when Marco claimed to like ‘them’, and then called them a pair. “Oh, so we’re a pair, huh? A pair of weirdos, but a pair anyway.” she shrugged. “I like us too.”
“Yeah, we’re a pair,” Marco told her, looking down at the ground. He leaned forward for a moment, peering over the railing, then came back to her side, not letting go of her hand all the while. He wanted to ask her if it was okay that they were a pair, and what she thought that meant, but he still wasn't ready to complicate things. Whatever it was that was between them, which he was pretty sure had changed, was fine how it was for now. Rather than dwell on the thought, he looked over the yard again. “You think it'll snow soon? I… I think it'll be cool, to see snow. Oliver said he was gonna teach me the right way to build a snowman and have a snowball fight, you know. That'll be weird.”
Nodding, Juno stared ahead at the horizon. “Cool.” Was all she said to that. She would freak out about it and let a million questions bubble up in her head later, but right now she refused to ruin this, and by sheer force of will, she stayed in the moment, breathing deeply and slowly. This was fine. He hadn’t let go of her hand, he liked ‘them’, they were a pair. It was fine. She focused desperately on the now. “It’s not nearly cold enough to snow yet, but it probably will be. You know, the air kind of feels different when it’s about to snow. It’s different than rain, too.”
Walking in snow wasn’t as fun as it looked, much less after snow melted but it was cold enough to make it into a layer of ice over the pavement, but damn if it didn’t have a certain kind of magic she was reluctant in remembering. “Us snow people will show you a whole new world, you’ll see. I’ll even make you a sled. Somehow.”
Marco nodded, then brightened as her words sunk in. He turned back to her, smiling. “We can sled down the hill into town?” He asked her. “That'll be cool.” Again he approached the railing to the balcony, squinting down at the path to town. The more people talked about snow, the more he liked the idea of it. “I like winter, and the holidays… We've gotta get through Thanksgiving still, but, uh, you think they'll let us get gifts to give to people?”
“Yes! God, if we could find old tires it would be even better, but some racks of wood with some railing will do just as nicely, I think. I foresee sled building with Oliver in my future.” Juno grinned. At this point they had to find things to look forward to, otherwise what was the point? “I do too, but most importantly, will they let us have turkey both those times?” Well, not the most important thing, but it was definitely in Juno’s mind. She’d never really had a proper, full course Thanksgiving meal. Or a Christmas one. And if the kitchen got back into working order, she just might this year. At Zenith. It was fucked up. “I think we can give whatever we want to people, as long as we can find or make it here. Why, you’re thinking of giving someone a Christmas present?”
Marco shrugged. “I just figured this time I wouldn't have to pay for things to give to people. Also, I'll have people to give stuff to. I mean… I don't know, I don't need to give gifts or get gifts or anything, I just thought it'd cool if they might, uh, make requests, or something.” He wanted to get Juno a Stitch plush, if possible. He’d wanted to since she started using the nickname. There were other things for other people, too, but since Juno had asked for the cuffs on his onesie, now it was in his mind. “We could request a new kitchen…”
That was something Juno hadn’t had to worry about either; other than the occasional workplace small gift by whatever company she’d worked for - and those didn’t even occur that often - she hadn’t really given or received a lot (or a little) gifts. Now, she’d love to have something for a bunch of people in here. She still didn’t think They would allow people to make requests, or if they did, there would be a catch. There was always a catch. Juno bit her bottom lip and leaned her head on his shoulder. “Stitch, we shouldn’t request anything. Ever. Too risky, there’d be one hell of a catch for that one and someone would somehow never wanna use the new kitchen again after what had to be done to get it.I’d rather have to roast things on a spit over a controlled firepit. At least I for one am done requesting things I actually want in case I don’t wanna pay the price.”
Marco frowned. He should have known that. He's been the one to warn Aspen against doing exactly that. How could he forget that issue? “Yeah, yeah, that's right,” he mumbled. “I was just… Uh, confused. Maybe I'll make things. I haven't really played in the craft room… I don't know, that'll probably catch fire too. This place is fucked.” He shook his head. “I shouldn't have brought that up. I don't want to talk about the fire. I think, um… I think sledding will be fun.”
“I’ve been meaning to go there and get some stuff done, actually.” Juno told him, thinking she might as well refrain from telling him exactly what. She snickered, mostly without humor, when Marco stated there was a chance of the craft room to catch fire too. Juno sure hoped not. She sighed, squeezing Marco’s hand, her head still leaning against his shoulder. “I bet it will. And we’ll build the craziest snow man too. Make him our height, for one. Maybe we could give him one of your marvelous moustaches.”
“My marvelous…? Oh!” Marco laughed as the memory of their mustache conversation returned to him, and how fun that had been. “What'd we say, construction paper? We could make mustaches for snow men like that. Shit, can you picture that on the lawn, just a bunch of white people with mustaches staring out at town? Not white people. Snow people. Same thing.” He laughed again. He hoped this really was something to look forward to, and they would be getting snow, and not just ice or something. He turned his head and nudged Juno with his chin, chuckling to himself when he faced forward again.
It was good that Marco remembered. Juno smiled, nodding at the construction paper, and then laughed out loud about ‘white people with mustaches’. “We should make them different hats, too. An army of white people with mustaches and hats.” Sighing happily, she gave Marco an affectionate smile when he nudged her with his chin, and leaned her head into his shoulder again. “Might actually turn out to be a good winter.”