I can help out if you guys need it. I've got nothing going on, just let me know.
Also, although it kills me to say this, I think we're gonna have to figure out how to let the monster bathe. I could personally care less if we just hosed him down with some febreeze once in a while, but I'm heavily biased. It'll be bad for morale to not at least attempt to treat him humanely, especially when he's gonna whine on the network for all to see.