Kitty Pryde (kitty_shadowcat) wrote in xemplifylogs, @ 2008-09-07 12:37:00 |
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Who: Kitty and Rogue
NPCs: none
When: Week 1, Wednesday, Sept. 3rd, night
Where: Xavier's in their dorm room
What: A reunion of friends and much missed room mates, gifts given, and a little bit of things talked about.
Rating & Warnings: g
There was no doubt about it; Rogue had been on a complete high since her birthday. She'd even been sleeping well which was huge for her. Something about knowing that she could be touched and could be kissed calmed her amazingly way. For the first time in a long year, she felt like there was hope for her.
She didn't spend her days any differently than she usually would -- she still made frequent trips to the kitchen and hung out in the rec room watching TV -- but she went about things with a smile on her face and more daring clothing than ever before. Not slutty, mind ... at least not by Southern standards. Considering her good mood came at a time where she should feel more alone than ever with some of her best friends missing from the school, it was even more welcomed.
She wore her usual long-sleeved, hooded nightdress as she got ready for bed. At at a decent hour, for once. She didn't try to avoid sleep so much now she'd had a run of sleeping like a normal person. She's completely forgotten what that was like.
Kitty couldn't believe it!!! She was actually going to get to be in her own room, in her own bed, with Rogue again. She had managed to actually get her stuff up here but Rogue hadn't been in probably in class. She had been bummed, and she had managed to at least go to a few classes, however no physical ones, her leg still hurt a bit, and so she was taking it easy with the physical ones. She had skipped two classes though, plus the physical ones.
She opened the door, and came in, and looked around. She couldn't believe her friend was in there and in her bed. She pounced on her bed, and yelled, "WAKE UP AND HUG ME!!!" She knew she really couldn't but she also knew Rogue would know what she meant. That she had missed her, and was so glad to see her.
She jumped a little on her knees on the end of her bed to wake her up and annoy her in a funny way. "Wake up wake up!!" A big grin was on her face and for once for just a little while her eyes actually sparkled to. God she had missed Rogue.
Rogue had fallen asleep quickly ... which was entirely out of character for her. But she also woke up quickly, startled awake as soon as her friend's voice permeated her ears. In those few moments when she was between being awake and still being asleep, she wondered if she was dreaming. She'd been hoping for what seemed like forever that Kitty would be back soon and, if she wasn't very much mistaken as she sat up, her eyes beginning to focus, here her friend was!
"Oh my gosh!" She cried, her Southern accent as always even thicker when she was not yet fully awake. Her green eyes scanned her friend sitting at the end of her bed, as if to make sure it was really her. She pushed the covers back so she could sit up her knees to face her friend though what she really wanted to do was run around the room in celebration. "Kitty! God, I've missed you!"
She wanted to hug he so bad, but it was scary to think about. Especially after what happened the last. "I missed you too. So much, I am sorry I was longer then I thought. I... I had problems." The deep sorry and confusion coming into her eyes again. She wasn't ready to talk to anyone about it save Logan maybe. Maybe next week, but not now, she really just wanted to not think about it as much as possible.
"By the way!!! Happy Belated Birthday!!! I got something for you." She grinned moving to a drawer on her side. She slid it open and got out a red and gold little box out of it. "I am sorry I didn't get to mail it to you... Thing got... Ummm.. Real crazy in Japan real fast. But I didn't forget you." She grinned as she moved toward the other girl's bed and sat on the edge of it handed the little box to her. Inside she would find a little figurine.
Even though it been a long time since Rogue had been able to touch someone without thinking about it too much -- not including the incident with the Cajun stranger, though he had been the one to touch her -- she still took a moment to mourn the fact that she couldn't hug Kitty like two normal friends would be able to hug. But it passed quickly as she realised that, maybe one day, she could. That thought soothed her immensely.
Rogue didn't fail to notice the emotions in Kitty's eyes and her own eyes narrowed for it as she tried to figure out what was going on, or what had been going on. Though she was both curious and worried, the last thing she would do was to ask. Kitty would tell her about things in her own time, she knew it. It wouldn't do well to pressure her.
Letting the awkward moment pass, at least for now, Rogue turned her attention to the box that Kitty handed her. She hadn't begrudged her friend for missing her birthday; how could she, when it had been the best birthday she could possibly have imagined? Of course she'd missed Kitty but she'd also had other things to think about. "Aw Kitty, you shouldn't have!" She exclaimed, though she was obviously excited about the prospect of the present all the same. Once she had been "saved" by the Cajun, her other presents had seemed much more interested too; she had been much more thankful for the gloves Logan had sent than she had been initially. The card from her parents still sat unopened in her drawer but out of mind was out of sight, as far as Rogue was concerned.
She slipped the figurine from the box into her hand, her eyes lighting up as she saw the Japanese cat. "How cute! Thanks, Kitty, I love it!"
She smiled. "It is called a Maneki Neko. It means, beckoning cat, but it also is known as Welcoming Cat, Lucky Cat, Money cat or Fortune Cat. I got it because it is believed to give good luck, and who doesn't need a little luck." She smiled, but it looked a bit bitter sweet as she had both mixed feelings of having been so close to thinking she could die, to being blessed to have her life back.
She then cocked her head, "It may look like it is waving to us but it isn't in the japanese culture. the way the say come here is to hold up their hand and move there fingers back and forth as the cat is doing, hence the beckoning cat." She had made sure to know these things and stuff them in her head. It was a wonder after what she had been through that she actually remembered, it was just a reminder of how smart the girl was.
It occured to Rogue that she had had all the luck in the world that night not so long ago when it felt like her life had been turned around and the world as she knew it had been changed. But she didn't tell Kitty that, not yet. It could wait. Besides, the whole thing felt kind of private, as if it was just between her and the Cajun and no one else in the world.
She found herself smiling as Kitty explained all she knew about the figurine, her eyes shifting between the cat statue in her hand and her friend. Again, she didn't fail to notice that something was different about Kitty, something troubled, and again she made no comment. "Wow, you really know a lot about it," Rogue said, sounding impressed. She knew Kitty was a bright spark and these situations only reminded her of that. She reached over to set the cat down on her bedside table, tilted toward her bed. "I love him even more now I know what he's all about."
She lay a bit on her bed. Not at all tired now as she thought she was when she first came up to her room. "Rogue? How has it been here? What has been going on while I was gone? I want to hear everything." As right now she just wanted to feel connected. She had come so close from being disconnected forever from everything she had, cared about, and loved, she just wanted to be connected to it all again in a big way.
She had figured out that the institute meant a lot more to her then it ever did before, for this was the place that taught her to use her abilities, skills and brains to the best of her ability and if she hadn't learned half what she had learned she might not be here now. Her eyes got wide and she shuddered lightly.
Rogue briefly wondered about Kitty's questioning; it felt more than casual curiosity, it felt as if she needed to know for some reason. Rogue, of course, would do anything to help her friend and if Kitty needed to know or just wanted to, she was more than happy to oblige.
"You know what it's like here, same old, same old. In a good way." True to form, Rogue said it fondly. Life at Xavier's could fall into a routine sometimes but it was always in a good way. She'd never met a student who wasn't immensely fond of the school. "I guess you haven't been away long enough for much to have changed." Now she thought about it, that was true. In reality, Kitty hadn't been gone all that long after all. No, it just felt like it.
It had felt like an eternity that she was gone, even though it had been only a week. But when one was staring at the possibility of your life, your very existence being rubbed out, and you only have a few days to get prepared, everything seems to slow down, seem more poignant, and much more important.
"Nothing new? Nothing special?" She almost seemed disappointed. She didn't know what she wanted to hear. Did she think anything different would happen here? Yeah the start of school but that was no big deal when you did it year in year out. She suddenly perked up a little more. She hadn't remembered if she had told Rogue or not, but now that it had wondered into her head, something happy, something that was a first, well at least to her, and it had been special even if they had decided not to have anything more then friendship after. "Rogue! I had my first kiss. At the party, with Alex, but you know we decided to just be friends. It was nice though." A bit of the wistful little girl coming into her face and eyes for a minute, not in a bad way but in a good way in a that was nice way. Something she had forgotten for that week, or at least when all the trouble broke out. It had seem so miniscule when you looked at the end of your life as a possibility.
Hearing the disappointment in her voice, Rogue almost told Kitty about the Cajun stranger. She hadn't so far as it almost felt like betrayal, somehow, but then there was also the guilt she felt that she had nothing to tell Kitty when she seemed to want so desperately to hear something.
She watched Kitty carefully, a smile placed firmly on her face as her friend revealed that she had had her first kiss. It was a nice thought, and not only because Kitty had always been a tomboy for as long as Rogue had known her and because she had also already expressed her discomfort and uncertainty in her situation with Alex. It was also because Rogue's first kiss story went largely untold, mostly because she'd almost killed the boy she'd shared it with.
"Wow, Kitty!" She exclaimed, her own eyes glittering with excitement. There had been times when she'd been thankful that Kitty wasn't a typical girl because it meant that she didn't have to hear about experiences with boys that she couldn't share. This time wasn't one of them though. This time, she was just genuinely happy for her friend. "Who kissed who then?"
She smiled at the memory. "He did, and then I kissed him again before I left." Rogue might notice a bit of a difference in her face as she hadn't washed off the little make-up that she had put on. Mascara on her lashes, rouge lightly on her cheeks, and just the lightest colored pink lip gloss which she was actually quite addicted to now. She liked the way it felt on her lips, and prevented them from getting chapped, or at least feeling like they were.
"Last night I got to spend the night with Ororo..." She stopped, her excitedness getting the best of her. She swallowed. "Rogue... I have been back since Monday..." She looked down, feeling like she had betrayed Rogue and there friendship for being back three days and not having seen her. But really it hadn't been her fault, nor would she have been anything like she was now if she had come here first. No, it had been right for Logan to have dropped her off with Jean. If anyone but Jean, Ororo, and Logan had seen her when she first came in they wouldn't have understood, it would have been frightening to them.
Finally she looked back up, at Rogue. "The Japan trip... It was a nightmare... My dad died there..." Tears welled in her eyes, and the happy go lucky she was trying to keep in seemed to shatter, and she was crying into Rogue's bed sheets. For the time being nothing was coming out anymore from her then sobs, and tears.
Rogue needed a few silent moments to process everything, the lighthearted conversation about Kitty's first kiss instantly gone from her mind, as were all thoughts about asking Kitty about the slight remnants of make-up that Rogue had noticed on her friend's face. In an instant, it had gone from being an interesting conversation to not mattering in the slightest.
She wished more than anything that she could reach out and hug Kitty at that moment. Being able to be a normal teenager and kiss boys was one thing but it was times like these when Rogue's "gift" frustrated her the most. She wasn't even wearing gloves, having been asleep, so all she could do was look desperately at Kitty as she sat wringing her hands in her lap.
"Oh God," she stuttered, her eyes suddenly as troubled as Kitty's had been except now she understood why. She didn't know what else to say; she didn't want to ask but it seemed rude not to. And asking Kitty if she was okay just seemed like the stupidest thing in the world. Cursing her powers in her head, Rogue kept her unblinking eyes on Kitty, hoping that it conveyed her wish to comfort Kitty but knowing it was truly inadequate.
It just felt good really to let go of what she had been trying to hide all day, mostly from herself. She hated crying, hated feeling sad. She liked to mostly be seen with a smile on her face, and teasing, happy words coming out her mouth, but really at this time under the smile, under the light words she sad was deep guilt, sadness, and fear. It all came out right now in front of Rogue. Finally, she stopped slowing, and starting to calm herself down.
She lifted her head from the covers. "I ... I am sorry... I tried... I have been trying... But it's so hard... I hate it... I want to be back normal Rogue. Its better here, but I still don't feel completely normal... Sometimes ... Sometimes I wonder if I will every feel normal again..." She moved off her bed, and toward her drawers again. She pulled out short pants of soft cotton, and a tank top, she went into the bathroom, washed her face, and did the other nightly things one does before bed, and got into her night clothes.
When she came back out her face looked clean again, though her eyes were a bit red from crying so hard. As she would pass by Rogue she may or may not see the bandage on her leg, that cover the gash that Ogun had put there during their fight. She got into bed, and rolled toward her. "Rogue? Do you think everyone has evil in them? And do you think it can be awaken? That if it is awaken that that person is always evil? Or can evil come in and use what little evil one may have use it, and then be killed and forever go away never to show up again?" She was so scared of hurting someone else. It was worse enough that when Logan had been helping her she was attacking him, trying to kill him, wanting to... She closed her eyes. What if it could happen again, but with no one controlling her? She shuddered at the though. Where was Jack when she needed him the most. She wanted his tiny warm body against hers just until she fell asleep.
Rogue didn't think any less of Kitty for breaking down. In fact, she was kind of glad she had. She knew how hard it was to pretend everything was alright when it wasn't; sometimes it could almost be as painful as whatever you were trying to hide. So, in some way, it was just as well that it had all come out.
She waited patiently as Kitty got ready for bed, slipping back under her own cover and lying so that she faced Kitty's bed. They often talked at night lying in their beds like they were now but it had never been like that. It had never been that serious.
Rogue had no idea why Kitty was asking the questions she was -- she couldn't imagine what on Earth could have happened to her friend -- but she listened anyway. Of course she wanted to help, if she could. "I don't think everyone has evil in them," she concluded, when she had thought it over a little. She based her answer on the fact that she couldn't imagine certain people, like Professor Xavier, could have any evil in them whatsoever. "And I think that, even if they did, they could control it. I don't think anyone would do anything evil unless they wanted to." Of course there were extenuating circumstances, like Kitty's, but Rogue wasn't to know about them. She didn't even know why Kitty was asking her those questions.
Kitty knew she wasn't making any since, but she didn't want to say anymore, she didn't want to talk about why she had asked those questions, maybe she had even said too much. She didn't know. She just hoped that Rogue was right, that Ogun and his evil were gone because he was dead, the mask was broke, and that he hadn't tapped in some part in her that was evil and brought it out along with his own evil.
Finally she drifted back, and said, "I have been here since Monday, Logan brought me back, I have been with Jean, mostly sleeping, I have been in the medical ward." That was it end of whatever had been going on in Kitty's mind. Proving that indeed something was going on with her and she was trying to fight it, trying to be normal when she was nothing but normal yet inside.
"Rogue?..." She drifted off again. "I don't want to feel this way... And I want Jack.." It just came out, and her eyes went wide. She had been thinking about him, had been thinking that she wanted to fall asleep especially tonight with him cuddled near her body. She was sad. She hadn't found him on her treks to find him in the gardens. There were so many places the tiny green man could get into where to start just didn't seem to register. Of course, if she had been really thinking straight and not in a half mad, worried mind she would have thought first of the green house as it was filled of lovely edible flowers.
Concerned about Kitty as she was, it was somehow a comfort to Rogue to hear that Kitty had been with Jean. She was glad Logan had had the sense to leave her friend with someone who could take care of her when she obviously needed it.
"Jack?" She couldn't stop herself from questioning, even though she hadn't planned to ask any questions, just to let Kitty reveal things in her own time. She had slipped, she realised, and hoped it wasn't too much of a big deal. She did now find herself quite curious as to who this Jack was though.
She looked down. Damn... She wished she had mumbled that or something. Well, it wasn't like she was going to be able to keep him from anyone here. The ones that were telepathic would have felt him, and how in the world did she ever think she could have hide him from Rogue? "He is a little green man who looks like a faerie. I found him in Japan, and bought him, and well... Except that I lost him somewhere here.. He is mischievous, but he is somewhere here." She suddenly felt foolish. Everyone probably thought she was even more nuts then they already thought she was. As no one as so far had seen Jack, well... Except Logan. She supposed he would vouch for her telling the truth.
"Rogue, he makes me feel... Okay... when I don't feel at all normal or okay right now. He is so sweet, naive, and innocent. He makes me think I can be such again..." She trailed off, placing her hands under her head. "I don't think I am supposed to be in here, but I am so glad I am. I know everyone is trying to do the best for me, but I just need to get back to my life, and fix everything along the way."
Even though she had been living at Mutant High for the past year, there were still things that didn't fail to surprise Rogue and Kitty's explanation of Jack definitely fell into that catagory. Of course she knew that there were people with powers in the world but she hadn't assumed that things such as faeries, or men who looked like them, existed. She had completely let go of the notion of a normal world. Though Rogue was undoubtedly surprised, anything that helped Kitty was fine by her. She might have to see it to believe it though.
She listened as Kitty revealed that she wasn't supposed to be there; she was probably still supposed to be kept away and observed by Jean or one of the other teachers. But Rogue could definitely understand why she'd rather get back to normality, after whatever she'd been through. "I'm glad you're back too, Kitty. And if there's anything I can do for you, just name it." She offered a warm smile (or as much as one she could manage given the situation. There was one thing that had to be said though; Kitty was being brave, not hiding away, and Rogue definitely recognised that.
If there was one thing that she had learned, even if Logan had practically had to kick it into her at first was to face whatever was coming at you head on and not run away. She had wanted to run away, run to the institute, and have Xavier fix her when she first learned of her dilemma. However, Logan had been right, she couldn't run away and try to have others fix her problems. She could get others to help her to fix her problems with her, as Logan had made her see he was there for her as she did it, but she couldn't expect others to fix her for her. It wasn't fair, and it was the feeling of triumph when you got to the end that you did it mostly yourself with help of others.
She smiled at her friend, it made her feel good to know that she did have others around her to help her through this. "Thank you, Rogue, I will accept that, but you know... If things come out slow.. Well, don't think I am locking you out, I am just trying to deal with things, when I can, you know? Right now... Well... I just sort of want to get back into the groove of things and not think much about what happened, or what didn't happen..." Her eyes started to shut a bit, the initial adrenaline of seeing Rogue was starting to fade and the weariness she had, had upon first coming to her room was taking over.
Rogue nodded, signifying that she understood. She always maintained not to push anyone into telling her anything before they were ready. It had taken her a long while to open up to anyone but Logan when she had first arrived at the X-Mansion so she could understand well that pushing people never helped a situation. And, with what she had gathered so far about what Kitty had been through while she had been away, it was definitely something that her friend didn't need to be rushed into reliving.
"Maybe we should try to get some sleep," she suggested as she noticed Kitty looking a bit tired. She could have stayed up all night and talked if she thought that was what Kitty wanted or needed but, as far as she was concerned, what Kitty actually needed right them was some sleep. Sleep was a wonderful thing when you can get it, Rogue had recently begun to realise. It had been a long time since she'd been able to sleep as well as she had been for a little while. Well, since her birthday, really.
Kitty nodded her head. It did sound like a good thing. "Yes, I am tired." She was a bit afraid, this would be the first night she hadn't been drugged not to have the nightmares she had been having about attacking Logan over and over in her mind while she slept. She was so tired though she thought maybe she had tired herself out enough naturally to maybe sleep soundly. She just hoped she was right.
She closed her eyes and was soon asleep, and slept pretty soundly, until the middle of the night, then the horrors that her memory kept wanting to show her started. It started out slowly, her creeping along the moving trains, waiting for her prey getting to the place, eventually she jumped onto one roof, and kept to the shadows, waiting for her quarry. She crouched down, when she saw them coming. She threw the stink bomb on her victim in the hopes that her scent would be covered up. In the midst of the smoke she phased jumping down, kicking, and slicing with fast ninja daggers. Quick little feet, and hands slicing and kicking at her enemies sides, and back. She then became tangible again, she knew she couldn't do that again anytime soon. It would possibly let on who she was. Another swift kick come to the gut, as she became tangible fully, and the totally black clad ninja uniformed with hood and mask, young lady was in front of him. Another blow with her daggers trying to make contact, and a flying kick when they fell short.
The dream continued on, but the girl that was in the bed had started tossing and turning, sweating, she mumbled out loudly, strongly, in a voice that was unfamiliar in it tone and veracity after a while, "DIE!!! DAMN YOU!!!" It continued on the girl tossing and turning still more, obviously in distress of the dream. A devious smile was on her face as she saw the pinned man. "Now, I am going to run you through, and I will get my prize from my father." Was mumbled out by the distressed young girl dreaming in her bed. Her eyes sparkled blood red under the normal warm brown eyes that now looked hard, cold, and unrelenting. She marched forward with determination on her face, yes not much of a victory as really at the moment the man was being pinned, and was an easy target. She got close the katana at the ready out and pointing toward what Ogun had made her think was her enemy, but was really one that she loved as a mentor and a father figure if she could just remember. The Katana was sticking toward him, and then was busily being stuck deep into his side, she pushed it further in until it was in to the hilt. Her eyes were blazing. "Now... Die... as I was told to do with you..." came whispered from the sleeping girls mouth. Then a few minutes later a scream, and Kitty was sitting up, her head on her knees crying.
She had fallen asleep the moment her head hit her pillow, with none of the tossing and turning she was used to. She didn't know how long it would last, those nights of undisturbed sleep, but she was thankful for them while they did. It was almost as if she was recovering from a year's worth of traumatising nightmares, slowly becoming a normal person again. Even with Kitty's troubles on her mind shewas able to sleep soundly.
It wasn't for long though. No, not too long after she had slipped into the realm of sleep was she awake again, disturbed by the noise, the speaking. As she fought her way into full consciousness, she tried to figure out where the voice was coming from. As she sat up and looked around, she realised that she wasn't alone as she had been for the past week or so and remembered that Kitty had returned. It's Kitty! It suddenly occurred to her; Kitty was the source of the noise.
Sitting up in bed she listened intently, her face a mask of confusion and maybe a little bit of fear. The words that were coming out of Kitty's mouth as she tossed and turned were so unfamiliar, as was the voice. Rogue had the fleeting thought that it couldn't really be Kitty, it had to be someone else, someone who looked like Kitty. But she knew that was stupid, this was Kitty, even if the words coming out of her mouth made no sense to Rogue. It sounded as if her friend was attacking someone, or maybe reliving an attack, but that couldn't be true. This was Kitty, for God's sake.
Desperate she pushed back her covers, rushing over to Kitty's bed. She went to reach for Kitty but then realised she couldn't touch her to wake her and instead touched the part of Kitty's body that was still covered. "Kitty, wake up!" She whispered frantically, shaking Kitty lightly. She was trying not to panic but Kitty was scaring her. She was in unfamiliar territory; she wasn't normally the one who had to do the waking. She had never experienced Kitty having a nightmare, especially not one as disconcerting as this.
Kitty without thinking grabbed a hold of Rogue and hugged her. Luckily she had only grabbed her around he waist so got mostly fabric and no skin. She was sobbing into the other girl's chest. "It won't let me alone... It just keeps revealing more and more to me... It is horrifying." She then came to her rightful senses and pulled away, shocked out of her tears by what she could have just done. "I am sorry!! Are you hurt?" She then looked at herself, she was okay, she most not have got onto any of her skin. She looked away. "Maybe they are right... Maybe I should still be in the medical ward. Maybe they should be still drugging me to sleep, but I don't want to be there. I don't want to be drugged... How is that going to help me? Will I have to be drugged to sleep every night? I don't want to live like that. There has to be another way..."
She finally looked back at Rogue. She would get through this, but not by being drugged to sleep. "I am sorry... You seemed for once to be sleeping soundly, and I have ruined your sleep again." She sighed. "Maybe I will ask to stay somewhere else until I get rid of these things. Maybe when the whole thing is revealed to me and I know the full truth of it... maybe then..." Her eyes looked sadly at Rogue. "I don't think I will have another." She only seemed to have them once, but it was pretty much whenever she tried to rest. She knew she had attacked Logan, felt bad about it, hated herself sometimes for it, but what was her mind trying to tell her by making her know more and more of what she had done to him? She couldn't understand it. Was it guilt? She didn't know. "Lets try to go back to sleep." She said, "I am really sorry..." She lay back in her bed.
Rogue had been too scared by Kitty's shouting in her sleep to be worrying about herself so she hadn't kept her usual safe distance, hence why Kitty had been able to grab her. In her usual nightdress which covered a good deal of her skin, there hadn't been opportunity for Kitty to have touched her bare skin which was just as well.
She wished there was something she could do to help Kitty but there didn't seem to be. What had happened to her friend, what she had shouted about in her sleep, must have been something really bad for her to need to be drugged to sleep. Rogue could understand why Kitty didn't want that though; she had been offered medication herself when she had relived Logan and Magneto's experiences in her dreams and she had refused it. Burying stuff and hiding from problems was never the right solution.
"Don't worry about me," Rogue urged. As if she cared about her own sleep when Kitty was so troubled. Besides, she must have woken Kitty a million times with her own nightmares and tossing and turning. She had no intention of being a hypocrite and peaceful sleep wasn't worth more than her friendship.
She hesistantly returned to her bed as Kitty suggested trying to sleep again, lying her head down on her pillow though she knew sleep would be less willing to come to her this time. She thought she might end up watching until her friend fell to sleep before she was able to sleep herself. Oh, it was so horrible. What had happened to her happy-go-lucky friend to cause all of this?[Closed and Finished ]