Who: Levity & Britannic; tag Torrent, Colossus When: Monday, July 14th, 2008 (evening, post-dinner) Where: Xavier's; dorms (their room) What: Goin' down swingin'. Status: in progress Rating: R
Brian was a busy man. In all honesty, he was looking forward to sitting in quiet relaxation in his own room with little or no company. Lately, Edana had been quite busy. Apparently, people were having some issues with the whole 'apocalypse' ordeal. She was acting as a guiding light, while he worked below ground. They saw each other very rarely. It had been due to that fact that he had begun to dabble in the taboo. After his first encounter with Betsy in the manner that was currently in mind, he had since become somewhat addicted to their little meetings. It was as though he'd found a dangerous, infinitely intoxicating drug. His behavior and inappropriate thoughts bogged down on his spirit and mind, however. His emotions were constantly in the middle of a coin toss between fondness and sensuality and shame paired with guilt. He loved Edana - but after his breakdown, he hadn't felt quite the same about anyone in his life, save Betsy. And the strains their work put on his and Eddie's relationship helped to ease his qualms about his wrongdoings. Since his first rendezvous with his twin, he had seen perpetually less and less of his girlfriend. He wasn't clear if it was entirely his fault. With a heavy heart, he pushed through the door to the room he previously shared with Piotr, and felt the two sides of his emotional balance go into a spin. The Brit wasn't sure if he hoped she was waiting for him or not.
Edana had finally gotten a little time to herself for a change. Dealing with everyone else's problems tended to weigh a person down, especially if one could feel everything they were feeling. She hadn't seen much of Brian lately, but hopefully tonight they could have a nice chat or a game of cards and try and distract themselves from their work. She felt Brian's emotions crash down on her like a tidal wave before he even came through the door. Distress, guilt, shame, anticipation. She rose from her chair to greet him. "Hey." she said with a small smile, which faltered when she read the look in his eyes. "What's the matter?"
Brian fought to clear his gaze of turmoil, but he knew it was no use. When he saw Eddie was standing, he knew she was aware that he was troubled. He shifted his eyes back to the door when he shut it behind him, and then slowly turned back towards her, returning her small smile. "With me?" His tone was that jovial one he obtained when he preferred not to be the center of attention. "Just work, love. Stress and all that." He swallowed and moved forward to where she was standing. "Alright?" he wasn't sure if he was clearing things up or if he was asking after her, but he planted a peck on her forehead and gave her hand a squeeze before gesturing that she ought to sit again. It was a casual gesture, meaning both 'relax yourself' and 'don't worry about silly old me'. He moved and sat in the chair that he used to put his shoes on in the morning and began pulling them off, staring intently at them, not entirely on purpose. Why were her eyes so fucking innocent and dewy all the god damned time? His brow furrowed and he buried his chin in his chest while he untied a bit more furiously.
Uh-huh. "I'm fine." She watched him for a moment before she accepted the kiss and she retreated back to her seat to watch him some more. Something wasn't right. He was using his 'don't mind me' voice and wasn't looking at her. He'd been acting odd for a while, but she'd thought it was just because they were both working so hard and didn't have time for each other. She continued to watch as he untied his shoes, still avoiding eye contact. "Brian wha..." she trailed off at the beginning of asking him once more what was wrong. A thought had come into her head as his emotions still filled her mind with such force. No... He couldn't. He wouldn't... Yes... he would. Her heart began to beat harder and she shifted her eyes away as she tried to gather her thoughts on the matter. Her eyes tried to fill with tears, but she pushed them back with force. Was it wrong of her to assume? She moved her eyes back to her still hunched over boyfriend. She sighed. "Brian?" she asked quietly, fighting to keep her voice steady, "Who is it?"
Brian had hardly shifted his eyes, let alone turned his head up to look at her when she first spoke his name. She'd mumbled it, then trailed off. He could almost hear the gears in her mind turning, and it irked him. He felt dead in the water, and without an inkling of idea how she felt. Normally, she picked up on his emotions while passing a bit of hers along as well. At one time, feelings had moved freely from one to the other and back again. Now, however, he felt it was hard to keep a reign over internal conflicts. He might as well have been a book. Brian felt it coming - much like a calm before the storm. When he'd finally glanced up after kicking his shoes off, he noticed she was having a bit of a struggle, and he stood to head for the bed. Part way there, she called his name again, this time sounding out as clearly as a bell. It was followed by a question that stopped him dead in his tracks and his heart mid-beat. After a few moments of panic, he turned part way and chanced a look in her eyes. She was bearing down on him with all certainty - to the extent that he knew he shouldn't bother lying. He wasn't sure he could lie to her. He didn't have to go into detail... did he? "Wh-what does that matter?" He finally locked his blue eyes with her brown and he felt as though she was sucking the shame in him straight to the surface and letting it fly about the room. It was like torture.
His answer was like a sword through her heart. So it was true. God damn it. She stood on shaking legs to face him at her full height. "What does it matter?" her voice was stronger now as she made her way over to him. She stopped in front of his half-turned form. She looked up into his eyes once more. "Tell me who it is." She'd find out sooner or later, but she was giving him the chance to fess up now.
Whether he felt as though he was protecting his sister, or covering up his own shameful behavior, he wasn't going to talk. Of course it was Edana's business that he'd been untrue. But things were a bit too touchy to let the cat completely out of the bag so soon. "It's not how you think it is." That sounded horrible, he thought. He closed his eyes for a moment, finding that her glare was a bit too intense for his liking, and when he opened them again he said, "What'll you do?" His tone was almost mocking. What would she do if she knew who it was? What would it matter?
Eddie was trying her hardest to keep her emotions at bay, but feared she was going to soon lose the battle. It was so much to try and comprehend. She loved Brian with all her heart and he had cheated on her...she was having a hard time believing it. She stood silent for a moment as she took in his biting words, her face burning as she stared at the floor so she wouldn't have to look up into his handsome face. It would reduce her to to tears and she couldn't afford to cry right then. She settled on staring at his navel, "Why?" she whispered almost to herself through her aching throat, "H...how could you?" He had spoken his feelings about her in the infirmary all those months ago. Had they all been a lie?
He knew it would feel this way. It was why he was dreading it so. Everything he had anticipated and felt upon entering the room was magnified tenfold now. Brian raised his eyes to the ceiling and clenched his teeth together - hard. His jaw jutted out as he fought back the urge to cry or scream himself. He wanted to shout at her for being right and innocent and absent. He wanted to scream so loudly to knock her backward, but he held his tongue until he had something to actually speak to her. "I wanted to. It wasn't to hurt you." He finally looked down at her, then stared directly over her head when he found he didn't like what he saw. "I'm trying to-" he paused '-save the world, god damn it!' he wanted to shout. Wasn't he allowed a guilty pleasure? An error? "I just, I wanted to. I'm sorry." He finally looked to her and felt sweat drip from his hair down over his temples and to his jaw. "It's nothing you can help. It's my own fault."
Edana closed her eyes against Brian's emotions that were beating against her already pounding head. She felt her own emotions leak out as her hold on them finally slipped. Anger, frustration, bitterness, and an overwhelming sadness. She had failed yet again. A woman once told her to never invest her whole heart in a man, she'd just get disappointed in the end. She hated that woman right now. "You wanted to?" she repeated, her voice growing louder with each word. "You could have helped it!" she screamed. Her fists were clenched. She wanted to wail on him with every last ounce of her strength.
Brian flinched. Now he felt the flood wall break. Whatever he'd said had done it - she was letting herself lose control. He couldn't risk allowing their emotions to overflow into other rooms and upon other people. He felt his lips begin to move, loaded with back-peddling words. "Kitten?" he said, his tone almost pleading. "Kitten," he continued, speaking as though she was reacting too harshly, as though he'd forgotten to take out the trash. "I'm sorry, I said. I know I could have." He'd only said what he had so she knew it wasn't her fault. Women had a way of making everything about them. "I don't even see it as betraying you," he looked down into her furious features. "It's not what you'd think." He fumbled, his features straining to look apologetic and dismissive. "It was just," ahem, "Betsy. It's just some... experimentation."
Oh no, he did not just call her 'kitten'. Eddie stopped dead as though she'd just been hit in the face with a bucket of cold water when he said his next few sentences. Had she heard him correctly? Did he just tell her in a nonchalant tone that he's been sleeping with Betsy? "WHAT?! You slept with your SISTER?!" Before she could think, she reached up and slapped him as hard as she could across the face. Twice.
Right. Absolute wrong route to go. He didn't move a muscle when Eddie spoke and remained still when she struck him; both times. She was emoting the worst vibes yet now, and was angry enough to hit him, some of which was transferring over to him. He realized this, however, and kept his body still as a stone while he looked down at her. She was fuming. He simply nodded his response, though he knew one wasn't necessary, and waited a few moments before his feelings got the better of him. He raised his hands and grabbed her upper arms, then pressed her to him and enveloped her against him. He wanted to hate her for saying the words with such venom. He wanted to scream right back at her - to ask if she was without sin or crime. He felt as though she was slinging stones at him right and left when she was the one who left him time and loneliness enough to do what he'd done. But he didn't do or say anything but hold her still. Whether she fought against him or not, he didn't plan to release her until she was more calm.
"You son of a bitch!" she cried against his chest as she struggled to get free of his iron grip. "Let go of me! I hate you!" But she didn't. As much as she wanted to hate him, she couldn't. She knew she'd been busy with her job and wasn't around as often as she should be, but he was guilty of that as well. She'd been so caught up with other people's issues that she had put hers on the back burner and left them to boil over. She wasn't the only one to blame.
Brian held her still and firmly like he promised himself he would. Her words weren't as surprising or stinging as he'd anticipated, so it wasn't as difficult to keep from releasing her as he'd imagined. She said she hated him, but he couldn't read her true feelings through all the bitterness and fury she was pumping out. His head was getting foggy. As many times as he'd played this scenario out in his mind and calculated all the possible outcomes, he still couldn't control her mutation. He cleared his throat and exhaled hard before closing his eyes and muttering, "Condemn me." Tell me I'm filth, he pleaded silently.
"You disgust me, you British, sister-fucking, bastard!" she raised her right foot and kicked him repeatedly in the shin as hard as she was able in her current position. She then lifted her hands and raked her fingernails down his stomach, trying to hurt him in anyway she could. Tears were streaming down her face as it still pressed against his semi-wet shirtfront.
Echoes and traces of his secret actions had circled back to meet his ears. There were far too many knowing minds and prying eyes at the school to keep anything private for very long. Edana's behavior upon his arrival was starting to set in and as she swore at him, he reflected on her accusations and tone. It was as if she'd known before he stepped through the door. And she'd demanded answers from him as though she was royalty. As her fingernails slid against his skin, he broke his force field that was always kept tight against him and he took on the full brunt of her abuse. British, sister-fucking bastard.
He sneered with both disgust at himself and at her behavior. His arms fell to his sides and he stepped back from her, hurriedly. He eyed her harshly, his sneer still in place. Brian's hand went to his mouth to wipe the sweat and tears away from his lips and chin as he gasped for the breath to speak, "I disgust you?" He raised his right arm and pointed to Edana with force while his left hand remained in disbelief over his lips. "You dirt-farming, Irish bitch." He hiccuped a breath and jabbed angrily at the air as he added with a deep, growling voice bathed in mockery, "Do you see now what it feels like to fall from a high horse?" She'd thought little of him ever since he left her and he knew she cruised through her library of psycho-analyst bollocks to get into his head. She would never get into his head. He was a fucking king. They were both well-educated intellectuals. But sometimes, people had to behave like the animals they were. The Brit was red in the face and his blond curls hung limp with moisture, "You won't ever understand. I can't explain it," he was backing up, and his hands raised in a gesture of submission, "and you can't find it in a fucking book." His heels bumped the door and he pulled it open and turned to pass through it. "I've got work to do." It was unclear whether he meant in the lab or atop his twin, but he hoped the message drove home. He was a doctor; he wasn't afraid to take his medicine. But Edana's reaction was far too much for him to handle at once. He'd been living in a fairyland for weeks. Now it was gone.
Edana didn't take her eyes off Brian as he shouted the abusive words with an accusatory pointing finger, unable to speak. She cowered instinctively under his harsh movements and tone of voice. His words cut her deeper than he could possibly know. She knew he was extremely angry and ashamed (she didn't help matters at all by losing control), and he might just be spouting meanness as a result of that, but she still sank to the floor in a heap of misery as he retreated out the door.