Who: Zap, Britannic When: Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008 Where: infirmary What: some news Status: complete Rating: PG
NO LONGER ACCURATE INFORMATIONZap was up to her elbows in cables and cords and loose screws when Brian came on the headset. He unceremoniously announced that she was needed in the medical lab. That didn’t sound so bad. At least, it didn’t sound like someone was hurt. Maybe Brian had broken something.
During the past day or two, she had kept her herself. Ronan had said he loved her. Piotr loved her. And she cared for both of them more than she could think to describe. So, with consultation from Matrix, she had buried herself in all the problem areas of the mansion and set to work repairing and replacing anything that wasn’t perfect. The workshop, the laundry room, the computer lab, the medical lab… If she kept on the move, she’d be less likely to be found. The girl needed time to think, damn it. Life wasn’t fair.
Things had been going so beautifully with Colossus. He was everything she wanted. But he wasn’t Ronan. Ronan was her best friend, a guilty pleasure and a fantasy rolled into one. He was like James Bond with a mutation and a sexy accent, with a liking to her. What more could a girl want? Security - family - comfort. Ronan was kind to her, but he wasn’t warm or open. Piotr was a saint. But was a family possible? She dreaded the thought of not knowing if any of them would be alive the next day. Ronan knew how to take care of himself and wasn’t afraid of anything. It was unnerving, but admirable. So the night before, she had gone to see Piotr - in his wheelchair - and broken his heart. He had fallen off the guard tower and broken both his legs, but she hadn’t seen him look so hurt before she told him she wanted to be with Ronan. And she knew she had had to choose the lesser of two evils. Piotr wounded so easily and didn’t heal, but Ronan had never opened up to someone in his life. So she had been greedy and selfish and chosen to live what might be the last of her days.
This was no world to dance off through the meadow in. There weren’t happy endings, just small comforts, and if she could give Ronan that once, she’d try. It didn’t hurt her feelings, either, to know the object of her desires wanted her as well. She had gone to Mars after seeing Colossus and explained what she’d done, then fallen asleep in his arms. When she woke, Zalika had a mixture of guilt, remorse and euphoria swimming around in her mind. It was after she got sick that she threw herself back into her work. She felt like she was back at square one, but she’d set her path in cement and there was no turning back.
“I’ll be right there, Brian.”
He didn’t answer back, which at first the electrokine thought odd. Then, she thought, ‘He’s Piotr’s best friend.’ She sighed, brushed some tiny screws off her elbows that had gotten smushed against her skin where she was on the floor of the generator closet, and made her way down to the lab, as per the doctor’s request.
When Zalika entered, Brian’s eyes met hers, but his expression didn’t say much. He wasn’t a man to feel through others. She had hurt Piotr, and he loved Colossus, but he loved Edana, and Edana had hurt her. There were no hard feelings between he and Zalika. He did know the situation better than anyone else (except Joe, with whom he had confided before calling Zap down) and he had a heavy weight on his wide shoulders. The girl was a friend of his, and a colleague, and until recently, an enormously good person. But there they were again, his personal feelings. She wasn’t a bad person now, perhaps just guilty of poor judgment. Whatever the case, he had to speak with her about something that would change her life. And he had a bias. “C’mere, love, sit down.”
“What’s going on?” Zap slid into the office chair he had kicked toward her from where he was perched on his desk.
“Joe completed a physical and ran samples of all the usual fun things the other night after your scuffle with Edana, correct?”
Scuffle. Yeah. She nodded, “Those just made the whole thing better.” Sarcasm! Anything related to blood made her queasy. She quirked a brow, suggesting he get to the juice or she was getting back to work.
Brian moved forward, to the furthest edge of the desktop and placed his hands palm-up on his legs before he spoke again. “We were looking over the results to both yours and Eddie’s,” he said.
What? Some mutant gene-swapping phenomenon?
“And,” Brian swallowed, “sweetheart,” blink, “you’re pregnant.”
No. No mutant phenomenon. Zap felt her limbs go away - they were just not there any more. She breathed out slowly and blinked several times before thinking, ‘This is a gag’. She looked up into Brian’s blue eyes and narrowed her own, studying him. He wasn’t lying. Not now.
“Zap?”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes.”
“Brian… I can’t…” She felt like she was going to hyperventilate. A freakin’ baby?! A baby? A baby… “Brian…”
“Deep breaths,” she wasn’t taking any, he noticed. “Deep breaths,” and while the Brit demonstrated, he moved from the desk and crouched in front of Zap. “I have to ask you, love,” he looked so serious, “who the father is.”
Piotr. She frowned. Of course he had mentioned Mars to Brian - it only made sense. So now she looked like a slut - and a sloppy one at that. But she didn’t care what Brian thought. The fight had been a day before she had gone to Colossus to mention Mars. And she hadn’t been seeing Ronan behind Pete’s back. She hadn’t slept with Ronan. Zap sneered through her angry tears and watched Brian’s eyes for a moment before answering. “You mean you didn’t check?” she spat.
“Zalika,” but he was cut off.
“It’s Pete, of course it’s Pete!” she dropped her head into her hands and felt her hair buzzing around her ears. Crackle! They had been waiting. She would go to his room and sleep there, then they went about their days. But early on, the couple had discussed their sexual pasts and Piotr had divulged that he had been saving himself for marriage - or at least long-lasting love. It had only been after the attack on the mansion that they had decided to make love - and it had only been once. “It’s Piotr…”
Brian moved his hand to touch Zap’s knee, but he felt a spark and thought better of it. “I knew it was.” He wanted it so, at least, however it complicated things.
“What am I suppose to do?” the age-old question. Hey - he was a doctor and a friend, who better to ask? “Brian?”
“Zap, you have to tell him. You need to.”
“I know that. I know I do.” She was crying hot tears, but not sobbing. She had too much to think about to lose it completely. She was so angry at herself she could’ve screamed and shaken the school. “I fucked up so bad.”
“He was going to propose to you, Zap. He’d spoken to Kurt… gotten a ring for you…”
Now she was going to lose it - now she could lose it. The medical machinery around the office and lab started to make themselves known audibly and physically and she was beginning to glow purple with the blue-ish light of the static electricity moving around her.
“Zap,” Brian grabbed her shoulders despite the risk, “don’t.” He had never sounded so commanding to himself, in memory. “Don’t do that.” He gave her a small shake and tightened his grip. If she used her power, it might effect the fetus. She might have already done harm. “He loves you,” it was what he meant. Brian hadn’t meant to make her feel worse. He knew Piotr loved the girl before him, and would take her back. Especially now. “You need to calm down.”
Zap furrowed her eyebrows and gritted her teeth together as everything went still and she sneered viciously at the blond as if it were all his fault. What about Ronan? How would he feel? Her concrete path just got scheduled to be re-laid. In her heart, she knew Piotr came first. As she sat there, staring at Britannic, she felt the irony come over her. It was like a twisted fairytale. She was going to get a family whether she thought it was right or not. She was going to get warm and secure, whether she had to crawl on her knees to get him back. “He wanted to marry me?”
“He does.” Piotr had been sitting in the room he had staked out for himself and Zap to share. The Russian had chosen a room to paint up, prettify, then propose in. After the girl said yes, he planned to move her in and leave Brian and Edana their space. But that had been the plan. Brian knew differently now. Piotr was alone in his half-painted reminder of a love that was ripped. He had visited Piotr - the man sat in a wheelchair with his empty heart and his full ring box. “You need to go to him.”
“What if he…” didn’t take her back?
“Do you love him?”
“God, Brian, so much.” She wiped at her face, “I was being so selfish.”
“Do you know him?” Britannic cracked a smile, which was filled with both sympathy and relief. She wanted his friend back. She felt sorry. It was what he was hoping would happen.
“Yes…”
“He loves you. He’s a good man.”
Zap nodded. Did she deserve him, though? Seriously. She had just made the biggest mistake of her life during the worst time in Piotr’s. He had given himself up to serving the X-Men and keeping her happy and fallen into one dark well after another.
“Tell him what’s in here,” the Brit suggested, pointing to his own heart, then downward, “and here.”
She nodded. She had a big job. And then a few more after that.