Who: Elixir and Scarlet Witch What: A day to relax When: Wednesday Where: Mutant Town
It was sunny out and not too horribly cold. Mid thirties wasn't too bad even for his thinner southern blood. Even though Josh had keeping busy with helping Sabbah get the clinic stocked and staffed and pulling shifts at the infirmary on top of learning whatever he could from Sabbah, Josh knew it was all a front. He was keeping busy to keep his mind from wandering. It was working but at the expense of his own health. Working night and day was driving him to exhaustion.
He knew Lotte would be pissed for not taking better care of himself. Of course he knew she'd do the same thing and since he knew his reaction if she had done what he was doing.... So with mild reluctance Josh decided not to go to the clinic. There was nothing for him to do there anyway and instead drove to the mall in Mutant Town. He'd only been here a couple of times since large groups in large places made him uneasy but if he wanted something mindless, mindless consumerism was the way to go. Maybe he'd catch a movie or something.
Josh pulled into the parking structure and walked into the mall. The place was pretty busy for midday middle of the work week. There were still a lot of Christmas and New Years sales so that was what probably what was drawing the crowd in. Plus most of the shoppers seemed to be college age and since most colleges didn't start classes until mid-January that made sense too.
Josh dug his hands in his pockets and wandered aimlessly wondering if he should buy some new clothes. Ugh, he hated clothes shopping but the ones he had were getting a bit tattered and too well used. Grimacing, he turned into a clothing store and started browsing ignoring the curious looks cast his way. This may still technically be Mutant Town but the mall was the closest to a lot of neighborhoods so it drew a large pool of norm shoppers.
***
Wanda had decided to get out for a bit herself. She'd had no idea how much busywork seemed to go with being team leader. It wasn't paperwork, thank god, but there was a lot of checking on people, boosting morale, making sure things were running smoothly. She was doing well at it, at least she thought so, but she felt a little like a politician. Always center-stage. It didn't help that she was Magneto's daughter. Instead, it meant proving herself, over and over, that she really was the best woman for the job. It wasn't overt, but there was definitely that current that said, prove it that he didn't just hand you the job cause you're his flesh and blood.
So she'd decided to do something today that she usually avoided more than Pietro's cooking. She decided to go to the mall. She hadn't been there since the Brotherhood had split off from Haven, not so much to avoid people but because there generally wasn't anything she wanted to buy at a mall. She hadn't much cared for the style of clothing one found there since she'd been in high school, and now that she didn't have to worry about pleasing her mother, there was nothing under the moon that would induce her into dressing from the GAP.
Pietro, however, looked like a rag bag. She knew he hadn't managed to accrue any money, and she knew he was too damn proud to ask Erik for some, even on loan. So she'd decided to shop for him, especially since she'd overheard some of her teammates saying that there were a ton of sales at the mall this week. She probably should have brought him along, but frankly he was one of the things she wanted to escape for a few hours. She loved him. She was glad to have him back. He was crowding her space. It was this mindset that found her at Urban Outfitters (mental shudders repressed), slowly pawing through the racks of men's clothing looking for things that would suit her brother.
***
One thing that made clothing shopping so hard was his skin. Everything he wore enhanced the shininess, he thought with a disgruntled sigh as he bypassed the black. And he really did like black. Maybe blue? God, he wished Lotte were there to help pick out something because he was so damn clueless. Looking up, Josh's eye was caught by a flash of red amidst the tans, greens, blues and blacks. That was a red no (straight) man would be caught dead wearing. He knew that color. Was that Wanda? Then the red moved and out from behind one of the racks stepped a familiar face and Josh grinned knowing that he was right. He hadn't seen her since she went off with her father and the Brotherhood. He'd lost a few friends that day but the loss of friendship was most keenly felt with Wanda. "Wanda," he called out waving through the turnstile racks and tables of t-shirts. "Long time no see. What're you doing here?"
Josh wasn't an expert in Wanda's choice of fashion but he thought he knew her well enough to know that this place was definitely NOT her style. Too yuppie for one. It was too yuppie for even him but they were the only place that had jeans he remotely liked. "I never would've pegged you as Urbanite," he teased.
***
Wanda's moue of distaste at the whole notion of pandering to the desires of corporate fashion melted when she heard the familiar voice. "Josh!" she called back with a grin, leaving the rack to dart over to him and give him a hug. She even knocked a stack of neatly folded shirts off a table in her rush and didn't bother to pick them up. That got her a glower from one of the preppy boys who worked there, but she ignored it. Itf anything, it gave him something useful to do.
"God, I wouldn't be caught dead in this shit. Unfortunately, my brother seems to think this crap is a good look for him. And since he's back and broke," she shrugged. But her smile was quite bright as she released Josh's shoulders and stepped back a pace to look at him. "Doesn't really seem like your scene either. What the hell are you doing here?"
***
"Jeans," Josh replied with a grimace as he returned her hug. "I have a really oddly lengthed legs and this place is the only place who sells good fitting ones. I was going to go over to the GAP or PacSun or something like that later. I dunno. I hate shopping for clothes."
He looked down at her unconsciously keeping one hand on her hip. She looked good, brimming with life actually. It looked as though she had had a great weight lifted off her shoulders. Actually.... He blinked. "Your brother? Um... what was his name? Peter? Pietro. That's it. He's back? From where? Where'd he go?" Wanda had spoken little of her twin brother when they used to hang out at Haven. It'd been too painful for her and he'd been tactful enough not to press. But he'd gotten the impression that the split hadn't been willing and she was filled with regret about it. So that was why she looked like she was beaming from the inside. She had an entire family again. After the passing of her mother and grandmother, she had a father and a brother now. He envied her.
***
"Pietro. Although sometimes I just call him Pete," she said with a grin, looking at Josh carefully as she visually measured his legs. "I think you and he are similar in size. Perhaps we can shop for the both of you and catch up. It has been so very long since I've seen you!" And she hadn't realized how much she'd missed him, either. She hadn't expected their friendship when she'd first arrived at Haven. Then, she'd been sick in body and soul over what had happened to her and to her mother. Depressed with the losses. Just not herself. Josh had been so kind to her, so patient. He'd healed her body, and then his friendship had been a balm to her soul. Leaving him when she'd gone with the Brotherhood had been difficult. Seeing him here made her realize just how much she missed a number of her friends from Haven.
"And then I think we shall have lunch. There is a wonderful little sushi place that just opened. Their salmon roll is every good, and their spicy crunchy tuna is amazing." Her grin turned a bit sly. "Unless you think bait when you hear sushi. I know about you southern boys."
***
"Ahh, yeah, actually I do but I've never had sushi before. I do like fish and I suppose lightly seared ahi is all but sushi since it's pretty much raw in the middle right? I may be a southern boy but I'm not above some adventure," he replied with a grin. The day had started out like any other, gloomy and depressing but now it seemed just a bit brighter and not just because of Wanda's hair. And she was saving him from having to shop alone and probably buying things that the women at Haven would only tsk and shake their heads at.
He let her take the lead picking up jeans and giving them to him. "So your brother's back. How did Erik take that? Hell, how did your brother take that? He didn't know about your dad like you right?" he called over the rickety door that separated him from her in the multi-gendered changing room. He remembered the day Wanda had learned about her father and how confused and hurt she'd been. It wasn't every day a person realized how much they'd been deceived by their parents and how much that deception had shaped their lives. It'd been hard for her but she seemed to really like her father (maybe even love him too?) and Erik seemed to genuinely love his daughter. He could imagine it would be just as hard for Pietro too.
***
"They're coming to terms with it," Wanda said noncommittally. In truth, she wasn't sure that her father didn't prefer his son to his daughter. Daughters, she supposed, although Lorna hadn't really seemed interested in adding herself to their little family. Of course Lorna had grown up adopted and had grieved for their deaths. Adding a new family didn't seem to mean much to her. Privately, Wanda wished that wasn't the case since she'd always wanted a sister. "Pietro was pretty shocked about the whole thing, but he seems to have accepted it for now. And Erik seems thrilled to have a son." She even mostly managed to keep the bitterness out of her voice for that. Mostly. She should be used to it, really. Her mother hadn't had a favorite, but Pietro had gotten away with murder compared to Wanda. "Erik is taking it better than Pete, but he had plenty of time to come to grasps with it, you know? Pietro, he's as blindsided by it all as I was. But it's good to have him back, either way."
She waited impatiently for him to open the door to his fitting room, wondering what was taking him so long. "Well? What's the verdict?"
***
"Eh. They're jeans," he replied stepping out. He'd heard the bitterness in Wanda's voice probably better because he couldn't see her expression to interpret her tone in a different way. From what he remembered of Wanda's stories about her family, he understood that she had been raised to eventually be a mother. It'd been the same in his family. The menfolk worked and watched NASCAR on the weekends with their beer and the women ran around the house watching the kids and cleaning up after their idiot husbands. The women took the girls aside to teach them their ways and the men always preferred their sons over their daughters.
He stepped out and presented himself for inspection. "So where's Pietro been this whole time?" he asked dutifully turning in place with his arms out. "I think they're a little baggy in the ass even for me."
***
"They are. You haven't been eating enough lately. I can tell. You've lost weight. You'd better be careful, or I'll have to move back to Haven to see to it that you take care of yourself," she teased, even as she eyed his ass critically. He looked pretty good, to be honest. Although there was a sadness about him that she didn't remember from when she'd been at Haven. Something had happened to him. Even in her own distraction, Wanda could read people.
"As for my brother, it seems that he has been searching for me. All over the country from the sound of it. He filed a missing person report and then personally visited every lead he got for it. Easier for him, seeing as he apparently is not only a mutant, but his mutation is to run fast. Very, very fast. Like... pushes the sound barrier fast. So he literally ran around looking for me. I suppose I can forgive him for being an idiot. I probably would have done the same if our positions had been opposite."
***
"That's... kinda sweet actually. I'm glad he found you," Josh replied with a small grin, ignoring Wanda's tease about him losing weight. He knew he had but he didn't want her asking the reason why. "And I'm glad he's a mutant too. I know Erik's not... fond of norms so to have one as a son would've been a stick in his craw. I have another pair, let me see if those fit better."
He stepped back into the cubicle and changed into another pair. "Much better. I'm going to get these," he said, not mentioning the fact that he had to use one less notch on his belt. Wanda didn't have to know. It wasn't that he didn't trust her with the information (if she didn't already know) but he was starting to not think about Lotte's death every hour. He was at a point where he was starting to even out a bit and he didn't want to jeopardize that. He changed back into his original pair and picked up the jeans he'd just taken off. "Ok, I'm going to get another pair of these and call it a day for this place but I'll follow you around so you can pick up some more clothes for Pietro."
He watched her drift over to another table of shirts. "So I heard a rumor that Star's disappeared and you've taken over leadership. Is that true?"
***
"Yes and no. Star and Ric both disappeared and I did take over as team leader. Star's back now. We're looking for Ric. Seems he and Star had a falling out, but no one's seen him since. Star's a mess, and I'm doing the best I can. Most of the time I think I'm doing fine, but sometimes I'm not sure I'm cut out for it. I don't know why Dad picked me. Sometimes I think it's just cause I'm his daughter. I hope not, but..." she shrugged. Josh was one of the few people she could tell things like that. She knew he wouldn't tell anyone on her. She knew he'd die before he broke her trust. That was just the kind of friend he was.
"Enough about me, though. What's been going on in your world?"
***
What should he tell her? He didn't want to put a huge damper on their little reunion and their day together but at the same time he'd never held anything back from her before especially something that had affected him so powerfully. So he decided that if it came up it came up, if it didn't, then he was certain he would tell her some day but he wouldn't just blurt it out. "You know the homeless shelter in Mutant Town, Sisters of Charity? They're opening a clinic next door affiliated with the homeless shelter. The Professor is donating a lot of money and equipment and I and Dr. Sadeeqi, she's new at Haven but not an X-Man, are setting up a clinic for not just the homeless but for any mutant who doesn't feel comfortable going to a norm doctor. She's helping me learn more about anatomy too so I know what it is that I'm healing."
That was a good start. He was quite proud of himself. They wandered around the store a few more minutes with Wanda holding up shirts to Josh to check their size and general fit for Pietro. Once she had three pairs of jeans and six t-shirts, they wandered back to the cashier where the clerk gave Wanda a frown and copped a bit of an attitude probably for the t-shirts she spilled earlier but then again it could've just been the way they did things at the store. "So I've been keeping myself pretty busy. Busy enough to realize I was running myself into the ground and I should take a few hours off which is how I ended up here," Josh finished leaning his hip against the counter turning to Wanda as the clerk rang up the clothes.
***
Wanda looked at the clerk a long moment, paying with cash since she didn't trust leaving any sort of paper trail anywhere if she could help it. She waited for Josh to pay for his selections, too, then with a wicked grin concentrated a moment and released her powers, disrupting the register so that as soon as they left the store it started spitting out receipts for purchases that never happened, the cash drawer opening every time with enough force that once it went skittering across the floor. Wanda, hearing the yelps, couldn't keep from giggling at her retribution, making a vow never to return to that place. Ever.
"What else has been happening? How's Faith?" she asked, wondering how the other healer was who had helped her heal from her wounds when she'd first arrived at the Haven. "And my sister. Have you talked to Lorna lately?"
***
Josh glanced back and chuckled softly. The guy sort of deserved it. Normally he didn't like mutants using their abilities on norms but in this case it wasn't harmful just annoying and hopefully he'd get in trouble with his manager after the attitude he'd copped. "Faith's doing pretty good although with the clinic I've been too busy to really talk to her and we really haven't had much of a chance to double shift with Dr. Sadeeqi working there now too. And to be honest, I haven't seen Lorna in ages. I guess she's all right, I'm sure I would've heard something if she wasn't. My guess is she's spending all her time with Havoc and when I'm Haven it's either to sleep or work. If she hasn't had an injury while I was on duty, I wouldn't have seen her. Has she not called you or e-mailed you since you left?" he asked curiously. Granted the girls had never really been close but he'd been hoping with Wanda that that would've changed. Apparently not.
***
If he had said something about her using her powers on norms, she would have been forced to point out that she hadn't used it on the norm. She'd used it on the register. Not the same at all.
She sighed to hear he hadn't spent any time around Lorna. Well, maybe it was time to take that bull by the horns and be a demand for a relationship there, whether Lorna wanted one or not.
"So you've been working your ass literally off. I take it that means there's no girl to be dragging your attention away from work?" That actually surprised Wanda. She knew Josh wanted the trappings of family because they used to talk about it. Especially when she was really missing her family and they'd reminisce about their families and how their lives weren't turning out the way they'd expected.
***
He should've been expecting it and he had a little bit but the question still took him off guard and still hit him like a punch to the gut. But, he noticed, not like the sledgehammer it would've been even just a few days earlier. "No," he replied quietly, turning his head to stare blankly in the window of a Sharper Image store. "There was one but... but she was killed. Someone had gotten into Gibs' head and they needed a subject to test their new killing machine. Lotte... had been their choice. I want to be angry at Gibs but I can't. He was just as much the victim as Lotte had been. That was about a month ago."
Had it been that long ago? It felt like yesterday in some ways and in others it felt like eternity. "Sorry, I didn't mean to put a damper on the day," he murmured, turning his head back to Wanda and giving her a weak smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.
***
"Oh, Josh," Wanda said, stepping closer and linking her arm with his in a show of support. It wasn't intended sexually, not with Josh. Not when he was hurting. She couldn't even imagine how hard it was for Josh to be there now, under the same roof as the man who'd killed his girlfriend. Given the pain in the set of his shoulders, Wanda thought it might have been even more serious than that. Well, the set of his shoulders and what she knew about him. He was the type to commit. To give himself completely. If he'd done that... wow.
"You know, if it gets to be too much, you can always call me. Hell, you can always come to us. I know you love the professor, but you have friends at the Brotherhood, too. Just know... you have options. I'm sorry I brought it up though, since its obvious you're still hurting. So. Let's have some fun! What sounds like fun to you?"
***
He hadn't gone into how much guilt he still felt which weighed on his heart even more heavily than the grief. If he'd been there... if if if. Shaking himself from his melancholy, Josh gave serious thought to Wanda's question. All at once he was very very grateful to Wanda. She was one of the few people who could provide a really good distraction and get him to have some real fun despite the sadness gnawing at him. "Well. I am hungry so I still want to do sushi but I haven't seen a movie in about two years. I don't even know if anything good's playing downstairs. I will happily abandon shopping to do whatever though. Shirts can wait. I'm not sure what else we can do that would be fun. I haven't had fun that didn't involve booze in some way in a long time." As tempting as alcohol was, he knew that was a slippery slope he did not want to start sliding down. It lead to places that reminded him too much of his family. "What sounds fun to you?"
***
Honestly, I haven't even turned on a television to see a trailer in months. I've been too busy myself working on getting the team back where they should be after... well, after everything." Things she couldn't really talk about, even with someone she trusted as much as she trusted Josh. "Let's get sushi, and we can decide from there what else sounds like fun. I'm not opposed to just getting food and wandering around. Maybe over by the park, assuming your southern blood isn't too thin to stand our New York winter. I'm not really done shopping, but I've had as much of the mall as I can handle this decade."
***
"Agreed. I wouldn't mind going to the park too now that you mention it. It's cold out there but we've had to suffer days like this even in the south, rarely but I'm not unused to being out in this weather. How about we get the sushi then while we're out walking we get some hot cocoa or coffee and a cruller for dessert," he said cupping his hand over hers tucked in the crook of his elbow.
They walked downstairs to a nice little restaurant that was small and cozy and not too crowded. It wasn't quite the lunchtime crush thankfully so they were able to find seats easily and order drinks as they opened their menus. The list was huge and Josh instantly got lost just looking at it. "Dear lord I don't even know where to begin. Ooo although that volcano thing looks tasty," he said pointing to one that had caught his eye. "I'm going to let you pick something out for us because I probably can't even pronounce some of this stuff. And it all looks really good."
***
Wanda laughed, wondering if Josh could handle the heat, then decided he probably could. She took the tiny pencil and made some marks on a slip of paper, handing it to a passing waitress. A Volcano Roll, a Mango Passion Roll, and a Spicy Tuna Crunch Roll. The waitress nodded and hurried off. She didn't seem to speak English, but that was all right. A moment later she returned with a small pot of tea and two cups for them her head seeming to bob as she nodded at them and left.
"So, tell me more about this clinic," Wanda said into the quiet, wondering if that would perk him back up after his mention of his girlfriend. "What gave you the idea?"
***
Josh poured them both a small glass of green tea and took a sip. It helped warm him through. "Actually it was Sabbah's idea. Er, Dr. Sadeeqi. We met at a really busy coffee shop, I had to sit at her table because there was no other space. This was a couple of days after.... Anyway, we got to talking and she was lamenting the fact that she was a doctor but had no practice. Somehow we got on the subject of the shelter so we went over there, checked out the space and asked the Sisters if we could set up a clinic. They were immediately for it so after talking to the Professor who agreed to donate the money and equipment we started setting up shop. Everything's pretty much ready except we're severely understaffed. That's the only thing that's keeping us from getting our city permits and officially opening. The idea came from necessity. Sabbah needed to use her degree and mutants really did need a clinic of their own whether they're homeless or not. I don't know what your situation is like at the Brotherhood but if you or anyone else there needs medical help, we don't look at allegiances. I'm not an X-Man when I'm there."
***
"Oh, I heard about that! Star mentioned something about it. He got his ass handed to him while he was away... on purpose from what I gather, besides I can't imagine anyone handing him his ass if he didn't want them too.... Anyway, she patched him up. That was just a few days before I found him and brought him back. God, Josh, he's a mess. He's tearing himself up over his fight with Ric. I mean, I can understand that, but you know... he's scary about it. He's blaming himself for everything that happened. I wasn't there, so I don't know if it was his fault. But it's hard to watch."
She looked at him carefully as she took a sip of her tea, her blue eyes bright against her pale skin and flamingly bright red hair. Probably because she had a feeling that Josh was blaming himself for something that wasn't all his fault, too. She didn't know what, and she wasn't going to push, but she could tell. She could see it on his face. Little things. The tightness of his shoulders, the slightly deeper frown lines around his eyes.
***
He knew all about guilt. It didn't really matter whose fault it really was Star was still going to wallow in it as much as he was. "I heard about Star getting thrashed. I can't imagine who would've been capable of giving Star that sort of beating. He's probably one of the toughest and most skilled fighters I know," Josh replied, sitting back as the waitress placed the first of the sushi in front of them. The arrangement was brightly colored and looked a little difficult to eat. "If Star needs someone to talk to tell him to call me or call the Mansion. Someone will be able to find me. I know a thing or two about guilt. I helped Bryan with his issues I might be able to help Star. Maybe. I don't know. His mind's part alien so he might not be able to be helped."
Picking up his chopsticks and rubbing them together to smooth them out, he picked up one of the rolls he thought was the Volcano Roll (it looked spicy) and took a bite. Heat instantly bloomed on his lips and tongue but Josh rolled his eyes with pleasure. "Oh wow this is good," he mumbled popping the rest of the roll in his mouth. He couldn't taste the fish beneath all the heat but that was ok. This was his first foray into sushi.
***
Wanda picked at a piece of the roll herself, eating it whole in a completely unladylike display. But then, sushi wasn't easy to eat neatly. At least, not in her experience. She just shoved the piece in her mouth and chewed thoughtfully a moment, letting the flavors blend together before she swallowed.
It gave her a moment to think about his statement. She wouldn't pass Star on to him. Star had issues, yes, but it wasn't for someone like Josh to sort out. No matter what he thought he knew of guilt. For all she knew, Star really had done something to feel guilty for. She knew his hands weren't clean any more than hers were. That wasn't something she thought Josh knew.
Still.
Josh? Guilt?
"What are you guilty of? Not putting your laundry away?" she teased lightly, knowing that wasn't it, but wanting to tease him into opening up on his own.
***
"Beyond that," Josh replied with a small half formed smile. He looked back down at his roll and dipped it in some the little bowl of soy sauce wondering how he should start. "The week before Lotte was murdered I'd taken a week's vacation. We'd just moved into one of those nice suites together and we were starting to plan a life together. That weekend I had to go back to work since I couldn't just dump my duties on Faith so I took a double shift to give Faith some time off. Normally I would've driven Lotte into work - she was a burlesque dancer at the Last Unicorn and a stripper at Camelot. That night she was working at Camelot. I gave her the keys to my truck and a kiss good bye. Rogue, one of the girls who works at the club, found Lotte in the alleyway a little while later. She flew back to the Mansion and I couldn't...."
He sighed shakily and set the roll down on his little plate. "She was long gone by then but I keep thinking I should've driven her to work. I should've been there. I could have been there. I could've saved her. If I'd gotten to her only a couple of minutes after the attack, I could've healed her. I keep thinking what if what if what if. So that's what I'm guilty of."
***
"Josh, I know you've been told this and you can't hear it, but you're not guilty of anything. You aren't a precog. You can't see the future. Why would you worry about letting her drive to work? Why would you worry about her doing something she'd done a million times? It was not your fault. And it wasn't Gibs fault, at least, not if he was controlled the way you say. If anyone is to blame, it is the men who decided to do that to Gibs, and who chose your love to test him on. The fault, the guilt, it is all on them. All. And may they burn in whatever hell you believe in for what they did." And she meant that. With everything she had in her.
***
He knew that, deep in his soul he knew but he still didn't quite believe it. It was something he was slowly working on (how much success he was having, he wasn't sure). Still hearing it so vehemently and passionately from Wanda whom he trusted implicitly and valued her opinion was refreshing. It helped a little bit and right now a little bit was a lot. "I know. I'm trying to tell myself that, that even if I had been there, there's nothing to say that Gibs would've overpowered and killed me too. Still... still...." He sighed and ate his second roll whole. This time he could taste the flavor of the fish mellowed by the sweet/tart flavor of the mango. "This is really good. I can't believe I've gone this long without having sushi before."
If he talked more about Lotte and her death, he would spiral even further into depression and he really did want to have an afternoon of forgetting with Wanda. "So to the park after this?"
***
"Still, if he'd done that, you wouldn't be alone again and feeling so guilty for surviving when she didn't. I understand, Josh. I do. It might have been easier for you if you'd been with her in the end, but it wouldn't have been easier on anyone else. Gibs, for one. I'm sure guilt is eating at him already for killing her. Imagine if he'd killed you both? And everyone else at Haven? And your friends not at Haven anymore? I know you can't help feeling depressed losing someone you love. God knows I felt like a part of me was missing when I was away from Pietro, and he was my twin, not someone I wanted to spend my life with... well, like that. Is the Professor doing anything to, you know, find out who was controlling Gibs and like... bringing them to justice?" In or out of the official courts....
***
"I don't know," Josh replied with a startling and unpleasant realization. "He has to be, I mean, he doesn't let shit like this just go. Two of his own were victims.... If he is taking action, he hasn't involved the X-Men and he hasn't told anyone. It could be that he has but I've been so busy and not really at Haven that I haven't heard from anyone. Still... if he was, you'd think he tell me since I'm heavily interested in the whereabouts and fates of those involved with Lotte's death."
He slowly shook his head with a frown as he thought about it some more and it all added up to something he did not like and felt very uncomfortable with. The professor was like a father to him and while Josh knew the professor wasn't infallible, Josh also knew the professor had a very intense sense of justice. And what screamed out more for justice than what'd happened to Lotte and Gibs? "I'll have to ask when I get home. That doesn't seem right at all."
***
"Mmm," Wanda agreed, looking very carefully at her roll. "Josh, I know you adore your mentor there, and maybe he's doing something no one else knows about. But in my experiences of him? He hasn't been so worried about a just accounting so much as maintaining the fiction that mutants aren't dangerous to norms. Justice takes one hell of a back seat to politics for him. He's a politician before anything else. Sure, he does good things with his money. Haven being one. This clinic of yours another. I'm not saying he's not a good man. I'm just saying he tends to let shit slide. Did he ever go back and root out whoever fucked with Logan so that Logan tried to attack him? Can you think of even one time he proactively brought about justice? You wanted to know why we left when we did? That was part of it. Not all, but part."
She wanted to wax eloquent on the philosophy she was beginning to feel in her own heart, a mish-mash of radicalism and mutant rights, but she stopped herself. Josh was hurting and she didn't want to take away his faith in one of the few people he trusted. Not really. She just didn't want to see his faith misplaced.
***
Josh was on the verge of shutting down and not listening when Wanda wisely stopped talking. He understood the politicking that the professor had to perform because that was how anything ever got done and the professor had always been upfront that the best way to make sure that mutants were recognized as human was through legislative acts and enforced by the law. As a poli-sci major Josh understood that better than most. But still there was that worm that Wanda had placed because no, Josh couldn't think of anything that the professor had done to find out who'd messed with Logan. At the time Josh had been busy with the injuries and other fall out from Logan's storming of the castle and over time since no one brought it up, Josh figured someone was handling it. Now he wasn't so sure.
"And how is the Brotherhood being proactive? Terrorism? You should know this country by now. Americans don't deal well with terrorists. They'll just round us all up - or try to - and dump us out of the way in heavily fortified plots of land. Do Indian reservations ring a bell? Guantanamo Bay? Japanese internment camps? They've done it before, they're itching to do it again. They're just waiting for an excuse to make us fifth class citizens. Worse, not even citizens but animals. I doubt it'd be as bad as Nazi Germany but with the hysteria the radicals are whipping up, it'd be a near thing," Josh replied popping his last roll into his mouth.
***
Wanda looked at Josh as if he had completely lost his marbles. In her opinion, he had. She gave him an out because of stress, but still.
"Josh, you're an educated man. More so than me. But even I know that terrorism is only a label that the people in power apply when someone who doesn't have power stands up for themselves. It's a type of warfare that challenges power, and they don't like it. It's a label they use a lot, too. Student groups that hold rallys are terrorist cells. And whether you and the professor want to believe it or not, we're already living in something as bad as Nazi Germany. Maybe even worse. Who sanctioned and approved the Cure? Who loaded it into weapons? The government. Who do you think, deep down, is really behind what happened to Gibbs? To Wolverine? Who would be the most likely? Who's been collecting and keeping data on mutants, even with the MRA lifted? Joe Schmoe down the street? You think this is any different than life under the Nazis? Think again. Sure, they Germans were at war, times were tougher for them. But do you think the average German really knew what was happening to the Jews? I don't. I think they were pretty much like people today, going about their business as best they could for the economic times they had. And the only people who really knew what horrors were under the surface were the ones who survived them and the ones who performed them. Ask anyone who's been messed with, I bet they'll all tell you it had some government tie in. No, Josh, don't you dare try and label me and the methods of the Brotherhood. Playing in politics hasn't done a fucking thing to protect us. Look at Gibbs. Look at your own Lotte. All playing in politics does is keep the status quo the way it is. Well, I for one want no part of the Rotten Apple Pie that is America. Thanks, I'd rather bake a new one. Maybe cherry this time."
Wanda was usually so calm, she rarely got really worked up about anything. But his comments right now, in the face of his own losses, that touched her off. She'd seen some of the mutants who'd been the victims of experiments, and she'd bet he'd seen more. No, this was not something she'd let slide. In her anger, her hair all but crackled with static electricity, her eyes flashing dangerously. No, she adored Josh, but she wasn't going to sit by and let him spout shit (and his rhetoric was full of flaws that made it shit in her opinion) without challenging him. That was the problem with people today. They didn't challenge shit.
***
"Wanda, I'm talking about hurting innocent people. I'm not talking about going up against cops or the military, people whose job it is to fight, but the things I've heard from Eric made me uneasy. He's not just mad at the government, he's mad at all norms from the five year old playing hopscotch to the secretary who just wants to get through her day to the eighty six year old grandpa snoring in his recliner. That's what I'm afraid of with his rhetoric. I'm not saying the professor's way is the best way or the only way but I don't condone violence against innocents. Period."
It might get him killed or certainly hurt but he reached out and took Wanda's hand anyway, holding it tightly to ground her and calm her down. Instinctively he knew that she wouldn't hurt him. Maybe. "I'm sorry what I said sounded so glib. I should've been more specific. I don't have any answers but it's a slippery slope when you start hurting people. First off, you become no better than the people you're fighting and secondly if it starts then it'll move on to people who just have differing views and then it'll move on to everyone who isn't a mutant whether they side with us or not." He let out a small breath of air. "In some ways I agree with you and Eric. I don't like sitting around scratching my ass and supporting the status quo but neither am I quite willing to go to an extreme like Eric is. There has to be a peaceful and proactive way to change things, I just don't know what that is. I wish I had answers. I do know though that if I ever get my hands on the scientists who messed with Gibs and killed Lotte, I will rip their throats out with my bare hands. Now those men and women are NOT innocent."
***
Wanda closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then slowly turned her hand over under his. Her nostrils were still flaring, but she mostly had her anger under control, which was a Very Good Thing since Bad Things happened when she didn't.
"Josh, you have no idea what Erik believes, and if you think I kill innocent people, then you're not my friend. But I won't wait. That's the difference, I guess. I know waiting won't work, so there's no point to it. I am willing to do whatever it takes to make sure there are no more Lottes or die trying. And if I do die trying, I won't die with regrets that I didn't do enough, didn't give it everything I had. If that makes me a terrorist, then get me a fucking teeshirt, cause I'll wear it with pride."
She tugged her hand free and picked up her chopsticks, picking at a piece of the tuna roll and not looking at him. In him she saw everything that was wrong with this country. This faith, blind faith, that the government would do what was right and best for the people. But she had long ago decided the government only did what was best for it. Mutants were a threat. The government would want them controlled by the government, or dead. And she refused to be either. So long as Josh was willing to play nice, he fell into the first category. But she couldn't change his mind. Awakening was something that someone had to come to on their own. Their own moment of epiphany when everything changed and nothing would ever be the same again. She'd had hers. She'd have thought Josh would have had his when his girlfriend was killed. She was apparently wrong.
***
They were at an impasse it seemed, neither one backing down from their views and neither one really seeing what the other believed. Josh had never viewed himself as bullheaded but maybe he was a little bit. "I'm sorry Wanda. I wish I could fully believe in what you believe but I can't. I'm trying to help in ways I can like with the clinic and healing anyone who asks for it. I'm a healer and not much of a fighter. Are we still friends?" Was he going to lose another friendship over this? The loss of the others had saddened him but Wanda's friendship would be keenly felt. Another loss he didn't think his heart and soul could take. He took his hand back and laid it in his lap as he fiddled with his chopsticks with his other hand. Josh wasn't much of a people pleaser but when it came to his friends, he was. He had so few that he would bend over backwards for the ones he had, except about this. There were just some things he had to have a backbone about with the people he was closest to.
***
"That depends? Are you calling me a baby-killer?" she all but growled in response, unwilling to let his implication, hasty though it may have been slide. Either he saw her that way, or he didn't, and she wanted him to acknowledge that she wasn't. If he couldn't do that, then why would he even want to be her friend?
***
"No. I never thought of you as one and I never will. And I'm not calling Eric one either really. I'm just saying that not everyone's an enemy. There are innocents out there and I hope when the battle lines are drawn they won't be forgotten either. By both sides, not just the Brotherhood. I'm including the X-Men and everyone else in on this too. You're not a baby killer and in the heat of the battle I can see you jumping out in front of a group of bystanders to take a bullet for them. I'm just uneasy with violence I guess is what the core of my argument is. I've seen what it can do to a body, soul and mind and it does no good for either side. There are exceptions, yes but as a rule I'm a pacifist. I don't want more Lottes," he said looking at her.
***
"Well, that's exactly what you're going to get, the longer you wait. Just wait, Josh, since that's what you want to do. Just wait, and you'll see plenty more Lottes. That's how it always is. I suppose we should change the subject, because we're not going to change each others minds. That, or walk away. Because that's pretty much the only options open to us now."
She wondered if she'd have to have this conversation all over again with Pietro. Maybe that should be their father's responsibility. She didn't think she could take being called a slayer of innocents again. Although Pietro was pretty used to killing innocence. The play on words amused Wanda a moment, and she smiled, although it was a touch sad.
***
Now Josh was insulted. Just as he had in some nebulous way accused her of being a baby killer, she was accusing him of condoning rapists and murderers. "Look, just because I have a different opinion than yours doesn't make it any less valid. I get that you're passionate about your cause, so'm I. I may not show it but I am. The question really comes down to this: I respect your opinion and I still like you as a friend and a person but do I have the same honor with you? Or becasue I don't see things the way you do, am I no better than the people you are fighting and not worth your friendship anymore?"
Josh held his breath. If he lost Wanda it would be a hard blow, one he didn't think he'd recover from. They hadn't talked since she'd left with the Brotherhood but he hadn't realized until then how much he'd missed her and her friendship and how alone he really was. He was surrounded by people at Haven and some of them were friends but none of them were good friends nor as close to him as he was to Wanda.
***
"Josh, we'll always be friends," she said softly, looking up and meeting his eyes and sighed as she picked apart one of the slices of mango roll. "You're a good person. One of the best. Kind and caring. Someone who I'm proud to call friend." I just wish you'd get off your duff and do something....
Pulling out her wallet from the backpack she wore instead of a purse since it allowed her to keep her hands free in an emergency, she put cash down on the table to cover their food, glaring at Josh when he looked ready to protest.
"Shall we explore the park?"
***
Josh heaved a huge inner sigh of relief and relaxed the huge knot between his shoulders. "Yes, let's. I have a cruller with my name all over it," he replied with a small grin. Holding out his hand, he took hers in his and they walked out of the mall toward the park. The day was gorgeous and since it was coming on lunch time the park was beginning to fill up despite the cold. "Hey Joe," Josh said stopping next to a bench with a bum laid out on it. "What're you doing out here? Go to the shelter. You just got over a cold."
"I did but I didn't get in for lunch so I'm kicking back and wasting time for dinner," Joe replied giving Josh a gap toothed grin.
"Here's a five for lunch. If I come in for dinner I don't want to smell booze on you," Josh said pulling out a five dollar bill from his pocket.
"I promise!" Joe replied taking the five and standing. "Who's the pretty lady?"
"This is my best friend Wanda. We're out for a walk. Wanda, this is Joe. He can turn invisible which has gotten him into a lot trouble," Josh replied giving the bashful looking bum a gimlet eye.
"They were just out there, I swear I thought they were for free!"
***
Wanda smiled back at the bum, giving him a wink for the compliment.
Once he was gone, tucking the money in a pocket and giving Josh a shifty look that told Wanda all she needed to know on how that money would be spent and what Joe's promises were worth, she settled on the bench and looked up at Josh, biting her lips to keep from laughing at how hard he was to look at in the sunlight, the light reflecting off his cheek bone and making her eyes water. Finally, she couldn't help it, she laughed. "Sorry, love, but you just sparkle in the sunlight...."
***
"Oh god!" Josh groaned, glad that they were back on teasing terms even if it was at his expense. "Shall I suck your blood while I'm at it? Blah blah! I vant to suck your blood!"
Lifting his arms over his head with an imaginary cape, he swooped in and snatched up Wanda's wrist to give it a nip. He did it before he even realized what he was doing. A bit embarrassed, he dropped her arm and sat next to her. "Sorry, got a little carried away. Besides, they didn't drink blood did they? The only thing I remember about those trainwrecks of books and movies was that my little cousins went ape shit crazy over what's-his-face. Trying to reason with them and point out that the guy was psychotic and the girl was nothing less a cardboard cut out did nothing to dissuade them. I wanted to just shake them especially when they massed and giggled about it. 'Oh Edward is so DREAMY!'" Josh made a face. "Please tell me you never got into those books. You would've been about fourteen when they came out, the perfect target for that sort of thing."
***
Feeling as though the oppression of their fight was finally lifting, Wanda just grinned, refusing to answer. She teased him, made him glower and laugh at the same time and all around enjoyed her day. It was with a slightly heavy heart that she packed her things back in her backpack and took her leave.
"Remember, you promised to call me."
***
"I did and I'm going to keep that promise too. I had fun today," Josh replied with a grin and a hug. For the first time since Lotte's death he hadn't thought about her. The guilt was sure to follow but for right now he was still riding on the high of a day spent laughing with his friend. "I'll see you soon, I promise that too."
He watched her lift off and fly away. Josh, grinning, headed back toward his truck and back to Haven. A lot of things had changed in that day, he wouldn't know how much until later.