"No, really," he tried to insist. "I thought I"d be cool with all this, I didn't realize it..." He did not realize it would be such a big deal, would shake him so much, the very fact that it bothered him so much was currently bothering him. Jamie really was a hot mess right now. When the dog came out and sniffed at him, his eyebrows climbed halfway up his forehead.
"You have a dog?" Pete Wisdom did not seem like the kind to have a dog. The kind to kick a dog, maybe, but not to keep one. He cracked a wry smile and threw on his mushiest voice. "Awwe, you do have a heart!" A weak attempt at covering his former freak out, but at least he was somewhat returning to himself. He heaved an exasperated sigh and pinched at the bridge of his nose, his eyes closing. "I don't mind you having him. I mean, I'm proud that you can use him. Us. But..." But it was getting to him, and again, how the hell could he explain this?
"I do care," he answered quietly, though kept his eyes lowered, aimed somewhere at Pete's chest. His knotted shoulders made no effort to fight those massaging hands. Once again it was such an unexpected thing from the usually disgusting Brit that it honestly did not even occur to him to fight it. "I... I've never had a dupe go by another name," he attempted to explain. It sounded childish, even to his own ears, but it also felt good to get it out. He could have spawned a dupe and talked it out with one of them, but he rather feared what feedback he would receive from doing so. His dupes had ways of pushing his buttons, even better than Fredrick.
"I mean, I've sent dupes out and they've been on their own and I've not worried or cared. The stuff I sent them out to do was... safe, but still. I put them out of my mind and it was ok. Now I'm this position, and I've got to be hands off, I've got to leave him to his own devices, but I can't just forget about him. I'm always watching for him, waiting for word about him and... and he's not even me anymore!" That was where the real emotional strain showed in his voice, Jamie throwing up his hands and half turning away. He rubbed at his face, feeling foolish again, even as he spoke. "He's John Maddox now, and I don't even know who that is, but it's not me. I know it sounds stupid, but I can't help but shake this feeling..."
He really just wanted his dupe back, safe and reabsorbed and not being someone else. It was a selfish kind of self-preservation which had kicked up harder than he had ever anticipated. Another sigh and yet another apology escaped him. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize this would be such an issue." He really did feel like a heel.