Hello and well met. I am Zelda, and I am one of the Housing Assistants. As such, I can answer a few of your questions.
You are in a place called Earth, in a city called Night Vale.
This is not what the Christian religion would term Hell, I think.
The coffee grounds are normal but if you like pre-made drinks there are the Starbucks, and of course there is the Paradox that does both tea and coffee.
I do not understand your question of time, so you may have to explain that one.
No; but I think it is one of the States within the country of America.