Tony Stark (616), cool exec with a heart of steel (tonystark) wrote in wtnvgame,
Steve | Tony
I think that makes sense.
While I think socialization and civilization building generally play a more important role in who we are to each other than our genetics, we're also finite beings whose capacity to process emotion hasn't caught up to our reality. The world is so interconnected now that we can feel empathy for people that we wouldn't have known existed a thousand years ago. But that also means we can now experience a magnitude of loss and human suffering than we just didn't evolve to process. It's sort of an emotional law of large numbers problem.
At the same time, our relationship with death has changed in the last century or so. Our belief in an afterlife has faded, so we know that we don't really know anything about death. Medical technology has improved, so death seems less like a constant part of life. We don't talk about grief and loss as much as people used to. I think in some ways, that's made us even less equipped to deal with it.
All that to say - it makes sense to me that what you experienced would start to make your feelings seem insignificant, or indulging them seem needlessly luxurious, or processing them seem impossible. And I don't really have answers. I can't say whether processing everything you've experienced would help you.
But allowing yourself to have your reaction, or feel your feelings, doesn't take away anything from anyone else. Letting yourself feel grief can be a way to honor something you've lost. Acknowledging sadness, fear and disappointment can give us tools to manage them. Letting yourself be vulnerable can be a way to strengthen your connections with other people. It's not petty or self-indulgent to reflect on your experiences or acknowledge your own pain. And ultimately it's something most people need in order to work through problems and become, you know, better versions of ourselves.
That's what Brene Brown's Ted Talk was about, anyway