You ain't about to tell me you're a Not-Winterfell-Stark too.
Statement. Not a question.
No vacancies for those.
MORGAN
No. I'm a Barnes.
Which like, isn't really a great last name.
Game of Thrones was overhyped. I watched it. It made me want a dragon.
But I made the mistake of mentioning that to Thor and he asked me what color so I backed down
BUCKY
Barnes, huh?
I have many questions. The most important being:
Who did you steal my number from?
Bucky. Thor was going to get you a dragon.
And you backed down?
MORGAN
I can barely take care of myself
how am I going to take care of a flying Godzilla who breathes fire and probably hoards gold or knows magic or some shit. I’ve read the hobbit. I know about dragons.
I didn’t steal your number.
it’s not stealing if someone inadvertently gives you the password to their phone because you tricked them.
it’s just. Surprise borrowing?
anyway. Tony. Tony’s phone.
PW is FuCk€@pt@1n@m3r1€@
which honestly would have been my first guess
BUCKY
Oof relatable content.
There is a reason my cat is of the AI variety.
But still. You could have had a dragon.
That defense wouldn't hold up in court.
Gonna have to teach you how to lie better
Better Dad #2 definitely wouldn't have been my first guess.
But that fucking password is too fucking predictable.
I need to talk to him about this.
MORGAN
So you’re saying I should ask Tony for an AI dragon.
you know it would be a weird acronym
D.R.A.G.O.N
Didn’t Really Anticipate a Giant
Orange
...Napkin. . It got away from me. But I started strong
Tony is like. The guy who spent all his skill points on one thing. Maybe two. Because there has got to be some reason we’ve all just accepted that facial hair.
BUCKY
No.
You should talk to me for an AI dragon.
So I can name it Didn't Really Anticipate a Giant Orange Napkin.
Amateur move. I wonder if he regrets it?
Have you ever seen him without the facial hair, though? It's just wrong.
MORGAN
I feel like I should probably get to know you a little better before I ask you for an AI dragon
but I’m bad at reading people so just let me know when I reach AI dragon friendship levels.
I always assumed if I saw Tony without his facial hair I wouldn’t be looking at Tony - I’d just be looking at the “good” twin.
BUCKY
I'd probably just end up keeping it for myself anyway.
Then I'd have to live with a vengeful jealous cat.
So you're potentially saving me and the bots from a bloodbath.
But I mean. Alright. Yeah. Sure. I'll uh let you know?
Is that why you "didn't steal" my number? Friendship level reasons?
I shaved it all off once. In Georgia. Not here. I feel like that part is important.
And then I had to look at it for weeks
MORGAN
I stole the number because I wanted to talk to you about something
that I thought you should be aware of
I’m just trying to work out how to tell you?
But now I’m trying to picture no beard. I don’t know if I can. I also don’t know if I want to
BUCKY
Oh, god dammit.
Now I wish it was for friendship level reasons.
Just rip the band-aid off?
Love yourself enough not to, Bucky.
MORGAN
well it is friendship level reasons related
because I’d like to get to know you better
in fact, I feel bad about the fact I haven’t really made an attempt yet. I'm not the best at reaching out
Sam says that it’s because, while I’m not a bad person, I’m often bad at being a person.
which I understand more right now because I kind of wish that I was an AI dragon.
but
well
I was just trying to tell you that I was maybe dating
[...]
[...]
a friend of yours?
BUCKY
Okay.
There is a lot to unpack here.
But alright. We can do the whole getting to know each other better thing.
To be fair? I haven't made any attempts outside of a small circle.
Which brings me around to you dating a friend of mine. Given the small circle?
And keeping the list limited to friends only?
There is Emma and that's a no. I'd be the first person Antonio told. So again? No.
Not from other worlds' Peter. And if it ain't him and Wade? I don't want it.
John [...] Well. You and I haven't reached that level of friendship yet to discuss him. But I'm gonna go with no.
That's it. That's the whole list
MORGAN
okay so I might be maybe a little liberal with the word friend?
or a little evasive?
I was never really trained as a spy, like Natasha, or anything like that. I’m bad at subtle.
which honestly. So was Steve so that’s probably where I get it, but
I’m stalling. I’ve never done this before?
This. Dating. Thing. I’m trying to be subtle about. There’s only a few people who know. Peter knows. The small one. They’re both small. The smaller one.
But I’m - I guess sort of seeing your… not Dad?
BUCKY
What the actual fuck is my life?
Huh
Welp
I did not realize I was walking into the talk™.
Future reference? You ain't gotta be subtle.
The beating around the bush is kind of cute, but just throw me into the word vomit fire?
I can take it.
MORGAN
in my defense. I’ve never really had to tell anyone I was dating anyone before so this is a new experience for me.
but I will take your advice.
I only met the other you for about five minutes
she said she liked my arm.
I said I liked hers too
BUCKY
I can give you a pass this time.
I guess there are people who might appreciate subtle.
But I prefer my non-traumatic and traumatic news to punch me in the face.
She does have a pretty good arm.
Which might be a little narcissistic of me.
The multiverse is weird.
MORGAN
I can appreciate that
I’m the same way really. Possibly because there’s probably nothing anyone can say to me that’s worse than what I’ve experienced?
which I’m not saying in anything but a matter of fact way.
the multiverse is weird. Other me doesn’t like me
BUCKY
Nah. That's definitely why.
And why I would rather just get it over with too.
I think you're allowed to pull the Too Old and Tired to give any fucks card.
MORGAN
I am so old.
part of why dating has been a weird experience for me
which isn’t information you really need to know so I guess it’s strange I offered it
BUCKY
I ain't gonna make it any weirder for you.
It's fine or cool or whatever.
The whole my not-dad part of it.
MORGAN
I appreciate that.
but I was telling the truth when I said I would like to get to know you better.
it wasn’t just me burying the lead
BUCKY
Well, like I said? Someone has to teach you how to lie better.