The insecurity in Juno was like a dagger to his heart, a sharp reminder that Juno simply could not see what he saw, what Rita saw, and what he was relatively certain Buddy saw as well even if she was particularly bad at expressing it. It made part of him wish that Juno could still see inside his head, pull up the emotions and feelings that were so much more difficult to express in words, so that he could show him just how he did fit, just how he slotted into everything, and that they all loved him -- perhaps some more than others -- in their own ways. Despite knowing that that wasn't an option, that he would have to tell Juno the good old fashioned way, Peter found himself struggling for words.
Why was it when it came to lying, the words came so easily, like sickly sweet honey dripping off his tongue, and yet the truth seemed to stick in his throat, lodge there no matter how hard he struggled to get it out.
Wrapping his arms around Juno's neck, draping himself over the other man's shoulders, and lightly tugging Juno back against his chest, Peter sighed as he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the top of Juno's head, wishing he knew what the right thing was to say in the moment. But this was the reason Juno had walked away in the first place, wasn't it? Wasn't that what he'd told him? That he'd been afraid of holding Peter back, of the regret that Peter might feel once he realized he'd saddled himself with a useless bitter detective in a life where he'd benefit more from not being weighed down? Was all of this just the culmination of fears that he'd been holding onto for almost two years?
Or was this just Juno still hanging onto those fears and letting them influence how he felt?
Peter wished he could be certain. But he could be certain about one thing. He'd been a fucking moron to think that Juno hadn't realized he'd been hiding something all this time.
"I am afraid, Juno," Peter said softly, his cheek pressed against the top of Juno's head, "that my past is finally catching up with me. And the last thing I want to do was bring you down with me. Any of you."
The words were soft, gentle, and painfully honest. Peter didn't see any way that the truth could ultimately hurt him here. And if Juno did see the light and realize exactly what sort of person he was, realize exactly how worthless he was at the end of things compared to Juno's worth... Then, well. At least he could adjust to the loss without a sword ready to fall.
"You are worth a hundred of me, Juno Steel. If not a thousand. And I wish that you could see that. Or that any of the rest of us were better at showing it."