Look, I know better than anyone what it's like to be grumpy about being found out but you can drop the pretence, I'm not Egbert, I pay attention and know a transparent attempt at shifting embarrassment when I see it. We all have a friend at one point or another.
But he was so deliciously evil and spoke Infernal and had the most amazing eyes and voice
That was a momentary lapse of judgement and we're not talking about me here. Focus, man!
I'd say your friend went looking for love in all the wrong places, perhaps. There are no platonic reasons to kiss someone who is handsome inside of a closet.
If you go live in a cave I will sic spiders on you.