"Books? I love books! Wait. Oh, never mind, I can't read."
He looks extremely puzzled for some reason and starts muttering to himself. "Wait? Since when can I not read? I read just fine last night." He paces slightly, waving his hands around to his own conversation.
"How could I lose the words? T'is impossible!.... Unless someone stole them." He pauses, suddenly looking paranoid. "The ninja! I bet the ninja stole them!...Or, Elizabeth! Elizabeth stole them! Little strumpet can not be trusted! She burned the rum! My rum!"
He looks extremely panicked and clutches his bottle to his chest. He looks around twitching nervously at anyone who gets too close.