WHO: Lyam Connolly & De Freeman WHAT: Hanging out! Darts! Serious talk. WHEN: Saturday, January 18, 2020. Evening. WHERE: A no-maj bar, Los Angeles. RATING: Low.
Lyam was going stir crazy. It was nearly two weeks Bran had been out of the country while filming and Lyam missed him a lot. It wasn’t like they hadn’t been apart before, but this was the first time they were apart for a significant amount of time since they got engaged.
Anyway, it left Lyam free to go out, and he made plans with De to hang out. After making sure it was okay with De, they ended up at a muggle No-Maj Irish pub that was one of Lyam’s favourites. He was so used to going to non-magical places that they were his default. It worked out though because that meant no one would bother Lyam and De.
“Up for a game of darts?” Lyam asked De. That would take them away from the actual bar while in the pub.
De would never have gone to a bar on his own, or with a large group. Alcohol lowered inhibitions and clouded judgment, and there was too much temptation everywhere; he and his sponsor had agreed that it would be better for him to be teetotal until he was far enough along that he could try out drinking again. But with a friend or two, especially in a no-maj place, it was perfectly safe, and honestly, he'd been glad to get the chance to go out with Lyam somewhere no one would know them. He was as close to relaxed as he'd ever been in the past several months, sitting at the bar with his tonic and lime, and he smiled over at Lyam at that question.
"I guess," he agreed, pushing himself up out of his seat willingly enough. "Are you any good? I'd put an eagle or two on a game if you're up for it."
Lyam was glad that the suggestion had gone over well, and that De was comfortable. There was Lyam’s own self serving interest… the last time he’d hung out with De, their picture was spread over the gossip rag. So it worked out for both of them to be in no-maj LA.
Once he knew that De was okay with him drinking, Lyam got himself a pint. He was a walking Irish stereotype (not that he planned on getting pissed). “I’m alright. The fun part is seeing if you can get away with using magic without the no-maj’s looking,” Lyam joked and added a wink to make sure De got it was a joke. “That’s a fair bet. You’re on.”
After getting the darts at the bar, Lyam picked up his glass, and led De over to where the dart boards were set up. “How are things anyway? Oh, and you want red or blue?” he asked holding the darts out for De to pick his colour.
De plucked the blue dart out of Lyam's hand. "This is mine, thanks." He set his glass down and cracked his knuckles. "Standard scoring, playing to… let's say 300 to start?"
He ran a finger over the flight of his dart, looking down at it. "'Things'... that's a complicated question these days. But I'd say things are… okay. Not as bad as they could be. I still have my job, and the attention from the paparazzi's died down, so it could be worse." He smiled over at Lyam. "You throw first, man. Age before beauty."
“Sounds good to me,” Lyam agreed to the terms of the game. He kept the red darts. Things were going better in Lyam’s life now. He had two other projects in addition to Enchanter, and he was still feeling the joy of being engaged, even if it was in secret. So, it was better for him to just listen especially where De was trying to get back to somewhere normal.
He laughed and shook his head though. “The older I am the sexier I get,” he smirked with his come back but he did take his turn. Lyam stepped in place and took aim as he threw his darts to the board. “Yeah, it’s seemed to blow over by now. How’s work going?”
Old habits died hard; De gave Lyam a once-over before he caught himself and looked away, shaking his head. "I'll say you do," he agreed wryly. "It's really unfair of you to age so well, Lyam. You could have some flaws to make the rest of us feel better." He stepped up to the line, considering the board for a moment before he took his turn. He was a better shot than he'd let on, and he grinned in satisfaction as he tallied up their scores.
"Work is okay," he added after a moment, his smile fading away, and he hunched into himself slightly. "Actually… no. I've been thinking about whether I should quit Trial and try my luck on another show. I really messed things up, Ly. I, uh…" He shrugged, embarrassed even to say it, because it made him sound like a middle schooler. "I've had a crush on Sam for a while. I finally went for it and asked her out, only then all the stuff with you happened, and the-- the sex tape, and obviously it didn't go anywhere. And now I can barely even look at her."
Lyam did notice at De eyeing him up and that made him laugh. “I’m not even old! I only just turned 35.” He really did hope he aged well though. That would be a bad turn of his luck: he’d get ugly, and Bran would stay gorgeous forever. “I swear I am not perfect. People just think I am.”
He raised a brow as he watched De wrack up his points. Clearly someone was holding back on their particular talent. So, Lyam reached for his beer because that required a drink.
He looked back to De concerned when he admitted work wasn’t going well. “Oh shit. That is some bad timing,” Lyam agreed. Gossip, and a sex tape could be hard to deal with. “So Sam turned you down? That doesn’t really sound like her.” That was just what Lyam assumed from it not going anywhere.
"I wish she had," De answered morosely. "No, she said yes, but it was right before the Warbler claimed I was sleeping with you, and I was being followed around by the paps, and I just couldn't drag her into all that." He sighed. "And then just when things were settling down and we were gonna try to go on that date, somebody put the tape online, because I'm cursed or something. So that's when I came to my senses and I realized it was never going to work. She's Sam Bloom, this… this incredible actress, this beautiful soul with so much ahead of her, and who am I? Just some junkie laughingstock who torched his whole life years ago." He reached for his glass, looking down at the sad, soggy little lime twist inside for a moment. That was about how he was feeling at the moment, too: sad, soggy, and used up. "I can't be with her, Ly. I'd only drag her down. You get that, right?"
Lyam did understand everything De was saying. He had finished with darts for the moment so he could listen to the full explanation. “I get it,” Lyam agreed, and didn’t want to diminish De’s concerns. “But I also know that you’re more than your mistakes. Did you talk to Sam about it? Did you ask what she wanted?” He was just curious. “It sounds like you still like her, and if there is anyone in this world who is going to be sympathetic and give you the benefit of the doubt, it would be Samantha Bloom.”
De shook his head. "We did talk, and she saw it my way eventually. Of course she's sympathetic. She always is, that's just who she is. And we both like each other, or at least she was willing to humor me about that, but we have to be realistic, right?" He set down his drink and took up his darts again and stepped up to the line, weighing one in his hand for a moment before he threw, just shy of a bullseye. "It's the rest of the world that's the problem," he said without looking back at Lyam. He was very conscious of the parallel here: Lyam and whoever his partner was would face the same judgment if they came out, the same trial by public opinion. "And it's me. I'm too scared of fucking it all up to go for it. I like her too much. It's not--" He huffed out a breath. "I've never actually dated. I slept with half of New York and never cared what anybody thought, but this is new, and I have no idea if I'm ready for it."
Lyam could agree that what everyone else thought could be a problem. He’d had his own issues with Bran not wanting to be out and they had to keep their relationship a secret. But even if he wasn’t completely happy about that, he was entirely happy with Bran.
“If you’re not ready to try dating after your recovery, that’s valid,” Lyam agreed. He could never understand what De was going through by he could sympathize. “But if you’re scared, you shouldn’t let that prevent you from being happy,” he said thinking of his own suggestion. “My partner… he had feelings for me and waited 10 years to tell me. And even then, he wouldn’t have told me without the two of us getting into a confrontation.” He remembered that day very clearly that changed their lives forever. “We have been together for 5 years, and I wouldn’t change that, and we’re engaged and going to be together for the rest of our lives I know… but 10 years was a lot of time to waste. And I had to catch up to him.”
He didn’t know if the situation was really comparable at all or even helpful, but Lyam had to say something. “I’m not saying you have to start dating Sam. I’m just saying you should be thinking about what you want to do instead of thinking of ways to talk yourself out what you want.”
De hadn't thrown his final dart yet, and he twirled it in his hand for a moment while he thought about that very deeply. Finally he turned back to Lyam, meeting his eyes. "My sponsor said something like that a while back," he admitted. "She said I was forcing myself to stay in the shallow waters where everything is easier, but life happens out in the deep end. Where there are sharks, but also, like, coral reefs and dolphins… she had a whole metaphor, I don't know. I might not have been ready to hear it when she said it, but thanks, Lyam. You're both right. I want to live, and…" De took a deep breath and let it out slowly, considering how best to approach this perspective on his situation. "I guess I should talk to Sam again. I don't know if she'd be willing to give me another chance, again, but I don't want it to be ten years of feeling things and saying nothing, which sounds like hell. No offense to your partner. I know it's not been easy, and in case I haven't said it enough, I'm really happy for you, Ly."
“You should talk to Sam. Even if nothing comes from it, but you’ll always be wondering about what could have happened if you don’t,” Lyam agreed and was happy to hear that his pep talk seemed to go through. He smiled and nodded when De said that he was happy for them. “Thanks.” And Lyam paused to think… why was he really hiding Bran from De?
He had waited for De to go to throw his final dart before he spoke up again. “It’s Bran. Brandon Abrams. That’s who my fiance and partner is.”
De had just drawn his arm back to throw again when Lyam mentioned the name of his fiance, and the surprise of it made his dart fly wide, sticking in the wood outside the board entirely. He swiveled around to stare at his friend, an eyebrow raised sky-high. "Really. Bran?" He stared for a moment, running that idea through his head as his mouth refused to close. "I'd say you were pulling my leg, but I can't think of a single reason you'd do that, and… you know, it makes a weird amount of sense." He grinned, shaking his head. "Wow. No wonder you guys have so much chemistry on the show. I thought it was the writers making your scenes together so charged and you two were just good enough to sell it, but dang, Ly. Good for you. He's ridiculously hot."
Lyam did have to smirk at De missing with his dart. This was just a mini example of what reactions would be and hopefully most of them would be that pleased. “Well, the chemistry on the show… that’s a little chicken vs the egg. The writers are totally Merleron. Now if that’s based on our actual chemistry… who knows,” Lyam laughed while he explained. “He is ridiculously hot. And all mine.”
"Lucky," De told him, and added, without thinking too hard about it, "but if you ever wanted to share-- no, sorry, bad joke, considering." He smiled wryly. "I met him at a party once, you know, back in New York when I was playing with all you theater boys. I never even knew he swung my way or I would've tried it on with him. He was so much less obvious than you." He punched Lyam's shoulder gently. "I guess I'm a little mad I missed my chance. But… five years, wow. And I was dressing both of you some of that time. I feel like I should've known somehow. Though Bran was always with Dizzy, and all their drama was so distracting." He raised his eyebrows at Lyam. "I'm guessing she was in on it the whole time?"
Lyam laughed and shook his head. “No sharing, but you knew that.” He grinned at De admitting to not realizing Bran could be into men and laughed at the punch to his arm. “He is a good actor, and entirely underrated.” Even in real life, Bran had to put on different faces at times. Hopefully soon they could be more open. “Oh yes, Dizzy knows. Bran wouldn’t lead Dizzy on like that. She’d never let him get away with it,” Lyam laughed. “And well the public attention suited her perfectly.”
De nodded, considering what little he knew about Dizzy personally (and the copious amounts of gossip about the Brizzy relationship he'd read). "I guess so," he agreed. "So… now what?" He took his seat again, looking up at Lyam seriously. "If you're engaged, does that mean you'll actually get married at some point? Will that be a secret, too? I don't know what that might mean for both of you on Enchanter, but he's Agent Silver, and how Platinum is about the smallest hint of anything gay isn't exactly a well-kept secret. You know what they did to the last one, and everybody I've talked to says those rumors weren't even true." He grimaced, shaking his head. "I can see now why you two have kept it quiet. It's kind of miraculous nothing too bad happened when you came out, but it really might blow up Bran's career."
“Not sure yet, to be honest,” Lyam said while taking his seat again. He reached for his drink because this conversation kind of called for fortification on his part anyway. “I mean, yes we’re going to get married. That’s not a question. How public that will be or how long we can keep a secret is another matter entirely.” He wanted them to be out but he wasn’t going to force Bran. He was happy with them being alone together. They really didn’t need anyone else. “I didn’t necessarily agree, but Bran figured my career has already been tested enough to survive. Sol even talked about giving Merlin a male love interest. And then I get cast as a secondary gay love interest in a solo after that,” Lyam said arching a brow since he was still wondering what direction his career would take in the long run. “Bran is finally getting the roles he wants, like Agent Silver. I love him and other people knowing isn’t going to change that. It’s his decision at this point.”
"Yeah, of course," De agreed. "Everybody should be able to choose when and how they come out. I'm still really sorry about what happened to you. But-- hey, come here." He leaned over to give Lyam a hug, brief but fierce. "I'm also really happy for you," he said into his ear. "And I also want you to know that I crushed you at darts." He pulled back to grin at Lyam, putting aside the heavy stuff for a moment. "You want another game to redeem yourself?"
Lyam leaned in and accepted the hug, appreciating it. He still didn’t know if Bran would be happy with Lyam telling, for all intents and purposes, his ‘exe’ about them, but it was nice to be able to tell someone who understood. “Thanks De.”
He laughed when the conversation went back to darts. “Even after I made you miss that last shot? Well we better go again. I’ll beat you this time.”