Lily Evans (in_emerald_eyes) wrote in withgoodintent, @ 2010-08-01 14:40:00 |
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Entry tags: | lily evans, narrative! |
RP: In Knowing
WHO: Lily, Griffin
WHEN: Daytime August 1
WHERE: Hogsmeade
WHAT: Escaping the flat and her thoughts.
STATUS/RATING: Closed / narrative
Yesterday had been one of the oddest days she'd been through yet. She'd woken up cranky and depressed, and her thoughts had been consumed by dreams she'd had of little dark-haired children. Infants with eyes like her own gazing up at her. She knew somehow that the babies - baby, really - was hers. Meant to be her own. That in her stolen life, she would have been a mother yesterday. For most of the day, she'd simply sulked inside her flat, silently seething and hating the man who'd stolen away her life from her.
There was nothing to be done about it, and Lily tried to sooth herself with the knowledge that she could have her dark-haired baby boy sometime in the future. It wouldn't be the same, exactly, but it wasn't as though she was permanently denied motherhood. It had simply been delayed by some nosy bastard who thought he'd done them all a favor by taking away their magic and their lives.
She thought she would rather die than suffer a life she wasn't meant to live.
When she woke up that morning, she decided that she wouldn't let anything get to her ... but she couldn't help the way her thoughts shifted, drifted, traveled, and she found herself still irritated. She should be in bed, recovering from a birth. Oddly, her thoughts drifted toward Alice, and she wondered if she'd had her baby yet. Lily thought if she knew how to get in touch with her, she would have sent her a note or a basket or something if she had already been through labor. She'd certainly looked close enough to it when they'd bumped into one another, and again at the meeting.
It made her wonder if she was staying in the flats as well, and if they'd known each other well in their stolen lives. She thought they had - if nothing else, their pregnancies would have, should have, bound them together. Because Lily was dead certain she was set to have given birth yesterday. With the confirmation that all the strange feelings, the knowing-but-not-knowing people, the barely remembered dreams were perhaps once real ... she was certain, absolutely.
Of course, these thoughts put her right back in the rage-place, so she shook her head. She whistled for Griffin and clipped his leash to his collar. She donned the plain black robes which felt familiar and not all at the same time, and she let herself out. This way, at least, she blended a little better with the crowd. Even if she didn't have a wand. Even if she couldn't really do magic. She'd thought about trying some, just to see what happened, but she didn't have the faintest idea where to start.
Books, she supposed. She could go buy ... whatever passed for a novice's guide to spells and begin there. She could at least read about the theory behind the stuff even if she couldn't do anything with it. Deciding that was a good plan that soothed the defiant part of her, Lily set out into Hogsmeade proper. It was a nice enough day, and she was content to window-shop a bit on her way toward the book store.