Saffron was approaching this, her last night at Hogwart's, the same way that she approached everything. With a positive determination for the horizon and a strong sense of worry for everything that she would find until she reached that sunset. Everything and anything was going through her mind, everything and anything were showing the every and any ways they could go wrong. The way that they could back-fire. However, even as there was a sickly ball growing in the pit of her stomach she handled everything with her usual aplomb. The hugs. The well-wishes. Wondered where the hell were Belinda, Vee, and Stephen. The packing, which of course had been mostly done days before. She'd even gone to the celebration. Because there was nothing that could stop her from eating. No one who could keep her away from her final Hogwart's treacle tart. And she hadn't cried once.
Saffron was completely ignoring the little fact that she didn't like change. And that she had spent the entire night clutching her pillow against her chest wondering if taking it with her would be considered stealing. After all it had been hers for seven years. It had been through tears, nightmares, and late night readings. One didn't desert a pillow after that kind of dedication. She wasn't the type to forget commitment. Nevertheless, she convinced herself that it wouldn't be the right thing to do. Moreover, it was silly. It was ridiculous and childish and it was simply a pillow. Nothing to sulk, pout, or brood over. Not that she had brooded ...
Not that she had thought of every happy memory. She hadn't and she had. Saffron had thought of a lot of things, especially of what had occurred the last two years. Hogwart's had been her safe haven and her place to "chill out" for it all. During it she hadn't really thought of it. Saffron wasn't the overly nostalgic type but now she couldn't stop thinking about it. She wasn't sure if she wanted to continue to think about it. It wasn't a pragmatic thing to do. She had to learn to cope. She knew how to cope. Soon she would be in the outside world and things would be different. It wouldn't do to dwell on things that couldn't be, even though that tended to have it's merits.
She let blew out a long and uncharacteristic breath. She was torn. In her head and in her heart, and she truly hoped that she didn't start bawling soon because she knew that her eyes were already red. Despite herself, despite trying to talk herself out of it. Not that herself listened because this was Hogwarts and no matter how she tried to think it she was going to miss this place. And out there she had no place to run to. No place to look forward to. And there is a possiblity that she shouldn't have eaten that piece of turkey neck because she was starting to feel it.
She was starting to cry.
Taking a steadying breath Saffron pushed herself off of the bed. She couldn't stay in her dormroom at the moment. She was going to look for her friends.