Elsa of Arendelle (thawed) wrote in witchinghour, @ 2015-02-17 00:38:00 |
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Entry tags: | character: loki, character: queen elsa |
We've no time for later
Who: Loki and Elsa
Where: Loki's apartment
When: Backdated to last Friday, 2/13, evening
What: Date night!
Warnings: Severe feels
Status: Complete
The art of pulling oneself back upon their feet was one well practiced by the likes of Loki, time and time again, in this life and the last, and the one before it. Yet even Marrowood was putting that resolve to the test. Flashing the promise of his brother’s company and help before him, friends who cared more about his actions now and playing pranks than they did his name and what that meant -- then swiftly taking them away.
He wondered briefly if their part in opening rifts had anything to do with Tommy’s disappearance. Had his friend found something? Had Thor?
Questions he couldn’t sit and wonder but did so during his long and tedious healing after being chomped on like a savory shish kabob while helping to guard Anna as she sealed her tear. The memory was akin to fighting old hoards in the old days with Thor and the Warriors. Only then he was more in his element, there were no unknown boundaries and limitations on his power where he need to wait so long to heal, even with his enchantments. Nothing but an itchy scar now thankfully.
Being so weak, so mortal, it left Loki feeling agitated and useless. What good was all his power and supposed knowledge if it was worthless in a place such as this. More thoughts that had come and pass in his healing.
“Did you say Marshmallows or whipped cream? Sorry, I forgot.” He was halfway through boiling the milk in the twin mugs in his hands for he and Elsa before falling prey to his thoughts. She had been a steady presence since the chomping incident, and he wasn’t in a frame of mind to play tough and push away her concern, or her company. Especially not when he’d gotten used to the apartment not being so...empty. He always wanted her near if she would allow it.
When the liquid began to fog with heat, he set the mugs down and let his magic dissipate. He melted in a generous portion of actual chocolate along with the powder as he stirred, humming lightly. “Hot chocolate is definitely one of my favorite human inventions.”
He wasn’t just saying that because chocolate was her favorite, either.
When she took the time to think about it, Elsa found it very strange just how used to life in Marrowood she'd become. It wasn't that she was sad or upset by this development - the key to surviving in an undesirable situation was to gradually adjust your perspective, and she fully intended to survive - it was that she was genuinely surprised.
Because the truth of the matter was that Elsa had never been what one would call 'adaptable.' She'd spent the majority of her life walking the fine line between control and chaos, terrified that any little change would send her careening into the latter, and to readjust her thinking to allow for gross adaptation just seemed too farfetched for her. Anna was the one that took the opportunities this modern society had given her and ran with them, because Anna was the one that could always find the one cloud letting through sunshine on a dreary day. That was who she was, and Elsa was most certainly not her.
But here she was, drinking magically-heated hot chocolate on the couch with someone that she was almost ready to call her boyfriend, wearing skinny jeans and a gauzy blouse that she never would have imagined back home. Slowly or not, completely or not, Elsa was adapting. And, truth be told, she really liked it so far.
"Marshmallows. Didn't we just discuss the futility of whipped cream in hot chocolate?" Elsa said, smirk in place as she closely watched him fix their drinks, keeping her eyes open for any twinge that indicated he was in pain. Mostly healed or not, she wasn't as willing as he to let his injury go.
Large, fluffy marshmallows it was then. A healthy portion was added to both mugs before Loki returned to her side on the couch, offering her the chocolatey brew before popping one of the chewy toppings into his mouth. “We may have discussed it, yes, but that doesn’t mean I’m inclined to agree. Perhaps you’d forget, or I could tempt you into changing your mind.”
It was nearly a silent reminder that Loki did change her mind, frequently, and was quite proud of the feat. He merely waggled his brows a bit, sipping at his cocoa and settling back against the cushion with light sigh.
Speaking of adapting, such a thing did require all that change. It was something to take that in, observe Elsa sitting there in her well, modern? looking clothing, as he was, all settled talking on something other than anxiety or suspicion. Much different than their first encounters at the hotel or the HISS station. He wondered what it looked like to anyone who didn’t know them well enough to know he was usually clad in armor, she in a royal queenly dress.
“Careful, you’re very close to resembling a state of contentment. Someone could mistake this for happiness.” Much better than her previous uncertainty. Despite the lurking dangers and unknowns around them, Loki was still thankful that she was still here for him to tease fondly. She wouldn’t know the relief it was.
"How do you know that this isn't just my very clever way of gaining your trust and exploiting your kindness?" Elsa said, taking a sip of her hot chocolate as she eyed him slyly. "After all, you remind me how much of a powerful god you are every other day. At this point, I don't think anyone would blame me for taking advantage."
She disappeared back into her (wonderful, glorious, divine) hot chocolate then, pulling a leg up beneath her as she sought the perfect position in which to enjoy her drink. She didn't know how she'd gotten to this point. Just a few weeks ago, long evenings at Loki's seemed like just a little too much. But here she was, even with his being mostly healed, passing time with him with no more than a twinge of hesitance. Suddenly, her adaptability seemed like less of a strange phenomenon, and more like her mind's necessary reaction to this strange interloper that had invaded her personal space and had refused to leave. To say that the thought scared her would be accurate, but to say that that fear prompted corrective action would be very, very premature.
"Did you see that Leslie, the woman attempting to start up a government here, had another friend arrive? I think that brings the number up to four in their apartment." She shifted on the couch, turning so that she was facing him. "I think Andy might be open to having a little bit more room. Maybe you should ask him to come stay. I think the two of you would get along."
Chuckling, Loki rolled his eyes fondly at the idea of Elsa taking advantage of anyone, least of all him. “You, the one who is too noble to take a compliment? Frankly I’m not at all opposed of you taking advantage of me.” Whoops. That could be taken alternative ways if someone was thinking in the right or wrong context. Loki of course kept his cool, sipping at his yummy drink all the while.
Getting injured may or may not have been a small positive in the direction for Elsa to stop measuring time and space on what and when and where they spent it together, picking it apart for what it meant, instead of just enjoying it and realizing that she did because if she didn’t, she wouldn’t bother. She didn’t do anything she didn’t want to do nor was comfortable with. Secretly, Loki was thankful for the tiny push it gave to make their company seem more natural and less of an anxiety.
Now having drained his cup and setting it on the coffee table, also turning to face her, letting his elbow drape over the back of the couch, emerald eyes looking up to her in amusement. “Oh you do, do you?” Loki knew Andy was friends with Anna and also worked at the cafe. And was fairly excitable. Past that, nothing more.
“I think he seems happy with his very comfortable place with his people. As I’m perfectly comfortable here as it is. Are you getting tired of spending so much time with me?”
“No. But I think you’re getting tired of being alone when I go home.” Elsa was frank, even as she cut the strength of her words by keeping her attention focused on her hot chocolate. She noticed things. She knew that he did much better with people around; he was like Anna, that way. Being alone for long periods of time just wasn’t something he tolerated well.
Admittedly, that wasn’t the only reason she brought it up. His being attacked as they closed the rift had the sad advantage of reminding her just how vulnerable he was. It wasn’t something she forgot easily when it came to the likes of Anna, but, demigod or not, Loki was vulnerable too, here. So, no - she didn’t want him to be alone, either. She’d feel better if he had a roommate.
Essentially, it was a win-win for them both. She wanted to make it happen.
“How do you know that he’s comfortable if you don’t ask? I’ve heard that he’s married, back home. It might be nice for him to get away from his friends now, so that, if his wife shows up, he has a little extra room.” She shrugged, leaning forward to place her cup beside his. Despite how serious she was, she had put quite a bit of work into giving her words an air of nonchalance. Things like this were just more palatable if the recipient assumed that she wasn’t very committed to the idea.
(She’d gotten Kristoff named head of the Ice Harvester’s Guild that way. It was effective.)
“I don’t know, Loki. I just think it would do you both good.”
As nonchalant as Elsa may have been on her people, Loki knew that as much as she didn’t want him to be alone, she wouldn’t just suggest him to any random stranger. No, Andy had been carefully selected from any available (or presumably available) residents. These assumptions were carefully thought through.
“And when and if his wife comes, he’ll want to be with her, yes? So the point is moot. He has his friends for now, and later his wife.” Loki was sure that if the man was friends with Anna then surely he could make friends with him as well, he was becoming quite close with Anna himself. Only, he wasn’t so excited to jump into the idea of sharing his space with another person just then.
Truthfully, Loki never wanted Tommy as a roommate in the first place. He didn’t necessarily like it always, but sometimes it was just best if he was alone. At least for a little while.
He had pondered briefly on asking America to take the empty room. If only because they were the last two of the original group of Young Avengers that had come and gone. She clearly wanted her space, and he didn’t want to seem, well, like a lonely fool. Not to mention she didn’t necessarily trust him, and he didn’t blame her.
Resting his cheek over his draped arm Loki sighed. “I know you mean well but just because a room is empty doesn’t mean you have to fill it. I didn’t have a roommate back in New York, and I don’t need one here either.”
“Your apartment has two bedrooms, and they likely wouldn’t want to stay alone, anyway.” This just wasn’t the type of place where one was constantly worried about privacy. Strength in numbers was practically the town motto. Loki knew that as well as she. But he was also extremely stubborn, and had just lost yet another person he’d grown to considered a friend. She knew that this would take convincing, but she was willing to put in the work.
“Just because you can be alone doesn’t mean that you should be,” Elsa said, shifting on the couch to face him, “or that you have to be. If there’s one thing that everyone here seems to be in agreement on, it’s that being alone is unnecessary.” She had a feeling that Loki’s hesitance didn’t have anything to do with Andy (and, even if it had been, she had back up options prepared), and more with having a roommate period. She had a feeling she knew why, but she couldn’t let him dwell on what had happened. Not when it would impact his safety. “Just ask him.”
He couldn’t help but narrow his eyes at her as she spoke. A great huff of hilarity, coming from Elsa herself, Miss Leave Me Alone. “This conversation, these words you’re saying? They’re not going to be forgotten. I hope you know that.” For emphasis he twirled his finger at her ever slightly, bringing it up to boop the tip of her nose.
“Two bedrooms doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t want to be alone. Being adults and married you usually don’t share a place with a stranger.” And he didn’t want to! Boo! Hiss! Whine!
Loki did know as well as she did that it was better not to be alone. He knew he was just as fragile here as anyone else. He was just loathe to admit it, and didn’t feel like going through the motions of sharing a living space and the inevitable attachment of a friend only to have them leave. Not that he couldn’t see them later, only, he was the one that kept getting left behind.
“I’d rather know someone for awhile.” Yes, delicious little excuses. “What if he’s secretly a murderer?”
Elsa rolled her eyes, not at all doubting his long memory, and that he’d do his best to remind her of this moment at sometime in the future. Against her will, though, her lips curved into a small smile at the boop on her nose. His inability to be serious could be extremely annoying, at times, but at others, she was grateful for it. Right now, she was somewhere in the middle.
(Okay, she was leaning towards ‘grateful.' But she wouldn’t let him know that.)
“Plenty of married couples live in the same home as others other adults. My parents, for example. It really depends on the situation. You won’t know what he is or isn’t comfortable with unless you ask him. As for your concern, Anna told me he has hands are covered in scars because he keeps forgetting not to run with scissors, and spends the majority of the time trying to learn how to make faces in latte foam. Somehow, I doubt he’s a criminal of any kind.” Not to mention that she’d ruled others out for suspicions just like those. She wouldn’t recommend someone to him that she wasn’t entirely sure of.
“If you’re out of excuses,” she said plainly, completely confident that they were ready to move on, “do you want me to contact him for you, or would you rather do it yourself?”
He was never out of excuses. Loki could find more, he was sure of it, with a little bit of time. Only they weren’t enough to deter Elsa from her cause. She cared too much. This was both a success and also somewhat of a problem for making independent thoughts. You couldn’t rightfully be a selfish asshole when you mattered to other people he was slowly learning.
“I do so love when you exhibit your feelings for me in a dominant fashion.” There were a few options. For one, he could pester her, or go into her personal space and annoy her until she was possibly too upset with him to bother. But then that left her upset. And, Elsa was resilient in her feelings, and Loki was still feeling lazy and not at all up to making her upset.
With a sigh of defeat, minor defeat, he scooted closer to rest his head on her shoulder in an attempt to look as adorable as possible, pouty, big glossy emerald puppy eyes casting up at her. “I will contact him. Soon. If you’d like to gather more information and casually find out, that’s also fine.” He gave her a little nuzzle and her chin a kiss for extra measure.
Loki was absolutely not above trying to butter her up in the least.
Almost against her will, Elsa's eyes fluttered closed at the contact. "I'm just making suggestions," she said with a sigh, words muffled by his hair as she leaned into him. "Whatever you'd like to do is is entirely your decision, and completely okay with me."
Although she was, truthfully, highly invested in his decision, that she'd ultimately accept what he decided was the truth. If she'd learned anything from her attempts to protect Anna, it was that, at some point, you had to allow those you cared about to be responsible for their own safety. That he was willing to at least look into her suggestion had to be enough for now.
The unusual amount of contentment that Elsa was feeling at the contact - generally speaking, being touched made her very uncomfortable - was somewhat unsettling, she found. Unsettling in that she could see herself staying where she was for as long as he let her. Unsettling in that a large part of her really, really wanted to stay.
With some effort, she pulled away from him some, retreating to the end of the couch. "I should probably go."
Just when he was getting comfy and enjoying their proximity she had to go and second guess. Oh, Elsa. As she made her retreat, so did his smile, the rest of him visibly deflating. So he was a little bit on the over dramatic side, but really, wasn’t she?
“You should probably?” His brow quirked, but he spoke gently, knowing in this he had to be patient. Ever so patient and careful, even without the added knowledge of Donna’s adorably blunt reply to his ‘why the hell not’ question. Loki had no shame. Women knew other women, and there was no harm in asking a second opinion. Secretly.
For now he let her have the small retreat. It wasn’t as if he’d done any more than cuddle up to her, and she hadn’t pushed him away like a dramatic Telemundo end scene. “Do you have some more pressing matters, or are you enjoying yourself too much again?” It did hurt him but Loki knew not to take it personally. Elsa was trusting him and giving him a chance which was a lot more than he could say for most.
It bothered her, honestly, that he already knew her enough to know just how strong her retreat reflex could be. Granted, he’d already seen it in action, but that it was one of the first conclusions that he jumped to as she pulled away told her that he knew her a little better than she’d expected. It wasn’t that she thought she was some kind of grand enigma; it was just that she’d spent most of her life experiencing others misinterpreting the meanings behind her actions. What did it mean that he’d more or less solved that puzzle in less than a year?
“I just can’t…” she trailed, not knowing how to express the varied emotions she was experiencing. With a deep breath, she tried again, this time determined to be honest. Didn’t she owe that to him? “If I stay much longer, I don’t know that I’ll leave.”
It meant Loki was good at perception and difficult to lie to. Also, more importantly, that she meant a great deal to him and her actions and feelings were important to understand. Though Elsa had given him little to nothing on the what or whys, it took no master of perception to make connections where they were.
As usual her admission both pleased him and elicited a chuckle, which he failed to keep in by biting his lower lip. Why she thought it was bad, he just...didn’t understand. “You don’t have to leave, Elsa. But if you truly don’t trust me or yourself with all of your impulses and complete lack of control, I give you my word I’ll make sure you leave at a reasonable time.”
Sometimes it was easier to come to an understanding if she knew how silly it sounded on the outside. If he made light of it instead of make it a dramatically serious and intense thing, perhaps it would help.
“Am I that horrible?” Once more he pouted, letting his cheek rest against his draping arm over the back of the couch.
“Stop. It’s not about that, and you know it.” She leaned more heavily into the back of the couch, running her hands through her bangs, not quite caring at that moment just how messy they were. She wasn’t in the mood to pretend that her concern was not legitimate, not when it genuinely worried her as much as it did.
For her, it wasn’t just about remaining chaste, or keeping herself (and her powers) under control. It was about letting herself fall into a relationship that she might lose at any moment. Her feelings for him grew every day, and she couldn’t keep pretending that the ever-present threat of waking up one morning and finding him gone (or vica versa), didn’t affect their relationship.
Because for as much as she’d given up trying to stay away, she couldn’t help that she still felt the need to put on the breaks. They couldn’t afford to depend on each other when, at any moment, it might end.
Elsa had no desire to share these thoughts with him, but she found that she needed to. He deserved to hear now what she should have said weeks ago.
“I can’t continue falling into something that has no future.” She looked at him solemnly, folding her hands in his lap. “And as much as I wish it weren’t true, it’s very likely that we don’t.”
Hearing her speak, it was along the same nature of when she addressed her concerns about Isaac and Anna to him while they had lunch, before he found the underlying reason why she was avoiding her feelings in the first place. She painted a very clear view of how she thought things were and once she formed an opinion it was hard to dissuade Elsa of things she was uncertain of.
That’s what it was, the uncertainty and fear of losing each other just like he had lost Thor and Tommy, only, he would see them again. And he knew he could see Elsa too.
“For someone who holds a great deal of power, specifically with magic, you certainly don’t have much faith in it.” Or him. Though Marrowood hadn’t done much to back him in all things powerful or God-like. “You don’t know it isn’t likely anymore than you know it is. You’re just afraid.” Loki pushed himself off of the couch, collecting their empty mugs to put into the sink because he needed something to do with his hands while he kept level.
Truthfully, this made him upset but he could keep calm. Despite everything else being an emotional and physical wear he had to remain resilient.
“That’s alright.” Sighing, he moved to plop down at the edge of the couch again, folding his arms over his chest and catching her glance once more with a frown. “However, feelings can’t exactly be turned off like a button. You don’t not continue to pursue something because there’s a chance that it will fail. If that’s the case, then there’s no reason to get out of bed in the morning. Perhaps we shouldn’t try and get back home at all.”
"'A chance that it'll fail?' A chance?" Elsa let out a humorless laugh, sad that she'd upset him but not willing to let him gloss over this anymore. "I could handle a chance. Nothing is guaranteed. Our situation, however? Is likely to fail."
It was a truth that she'd avoided stating plainly for too long now. If they were going to find a solution here, though, she needed to make it clear where she was coming from.
"People are disappearing every day, and without warning. If they return, they've demonstrated no knowledge of their previous time here. Not only does this mean that every day may be the last for us here; this also tells me is that it's a very real possibility that we will return home with no memory of these events. And that's the better of the two scenarios.
"The other, of course, being that we return home with our memories intact. You're asking me to put faith in magic? From what I've seen of magic, neither intention, nor will, guarantee favorable results. There is nothing reliable about it. So, say we return to our worlds, with your intention to find mine still intact. Before I left, Loki, we were considering surrounding kingdoms and their dignitaries to decide to whom I should become betrothed. Do you imagine my council will take my stalling for long, knowing Arendelle's future is on the line, while I wait for you to knock on the castle doors?" There were tears in her eyes now, her heart raw as she shared with him the fears she'd kept to herself for so long. "Because I don't. And the idea of you showing up just after I've promised myself to another is worse than the idea of you not showing up at all."
She pulled both legs underneath her then, crossing them in an attempt to curl more fully into herself. This night was not supposed to hurt like this. "My feelings for you aren't going anywhere, and I don't think I have the strength to walk away, but to allow them to get stronger..." She shook her head wildly, desperate in her desire for him to understand. "I can't. I can't."
It was difficult to go through the motions and keep that stability he was trying so desperately to achieve. Not when what she said both tore open his chest no differently than the demon had those weeks ago, not being able to convince her otherwise, or try and offer her a comfort because she wouldn’t let him. So very conflicting.
On one hand he was quite angry she insisted that they would fail, he couldn’t help but connect it to a part of him failing, that she believed, like many others, he would. Perhaps this context was different. But Loki was more than tired of people telling him what he was and was not capable of doing.
Yet on the other, she was just afraid. It was very human. He couldn’t fault her for that, only sit and bare it until he could work through the emotions himself, grinding his jaw together. “I just need you to put your faith in me. Not magic or what this place would have you to believe.” Because there was more strength in perception and belief than people would know. Belief could be so..condemning. So finite. “I realize that’s a lot to ask, perhaps it’s unfair. The last thing I would ever want to do is put you in any of those situations, Elsa. Please believe me when I say I wouldn’t want to cause you any sort of pain or hurt or suffering. Certainly not on my behalf.”
That was part of the bargain, though. If you felt, you hurt. One couldn’t enjoy all the spoils of not being a mindless savage without knowing what it was to have loss. Loki was willing to have that, to not be all suffering, to not burn. Because he craved that chance so much.
Taking a deep breath he crossed into her space once more, his side pressed snugly against hers as he enveloped her in a tight embrace, his face burying into her shoulder. “I could sit here and argue semantics and theory over those leaving and returning with no memory being entirely different people, but that would be a perfectly good waste of time.” Loki turned his head so that his forehead could brush her temple, still keeping his hold on her tight and unmoving. “Nothing is guaranteed, no. But what if we do remember? What if I can get to a point in your time where you don’t have to hustle your council, or any other worries you have? I can do it. I know I can. I just need you to give me the chance. Please.”
She was already believing in him when he shouldn’t. Trusting him in blind faith where none other than Thor would. He needed that, in order to change. Now that Loki had found that belief he was not so willing to give it up. Not without a fight.
She felt herself unfurl as he closed the space between them, embracing her so completely that her body offered her no option but to lean in and accept the comfort he was providing. She felt tears running down her cheek as he pleaded with her, hating herself for the obvious distress she was causing. Why did she ever think that she was ever fit to be in a relationship?
Because she did believe in him. Her faith in him, at this point, was much stronger than the faith she had in herself. It wasn’t just that he possessed the ability to move mountains - it was that, even if he didn’t, he’d try and do so anyway. Especially if it meant improving the life of those he cared for. How could she not have faith in someone like that?
But as much as he and Anna and the others could ignore how little control they had in this situation, she couldn’t. She’d never been good at leaping without looking, or allowing her hope to carry her through. For one thing, she couldn’t afford to. A Queen had to work on facts, and not on feelings. For another, she’d lived her entire life afraid of possibilities. She’d improved in this regard, but she couldn’t quite help something that had been such an integral part of who she was for so long. Her fear still defined her.
Which meant that she had two very distinct options here: Did she rely on the logic behind her fear, alienating and hurting someone she’d grown to hold dear, or did she risk it, knowing that it could end in more heartbreak than they could imagine?
She turned in his embrace, shifting so that her forehead lay to rest against his. No more fear. No more fear.
“Okay.” She said in a whisper, hoping that he understood what this meant: That she would try. She had long been a slave to her fear, and she couldn’t say that this concentrated effort would break those shackles. But she owed it to him to try. Just as she owed it to herself. “Okay.”
Loki let out a sigh of relief when she gave into what he assumed was unrelenting pestering on his part, but it was all done with good reason, and the right intentions. Elsa had her reasons for wanting to prevent the hurt. He respected that, but he was too selfish to let her have it her way. Not when he could have her, no, he didn’t give up quite so easily.
Giving her a great squeeze (not too great so as to break her dear bones), Loki pulled her further into his hold so that there was no more space between them and she was curled into his lap. “Thank you.” He whispered against her cheek, placing a tender kiss there. And he really meant it, her faith and belief gave him life. Like when Thor refused to kill him because he loved him too much, despite all the horrible he’d done. The real Thor, when he was untainted by an alternate reality or some foul magic. When the All Mother made him her personal Agent. It was then that he felt worthy. Maybe he didn’t deserve it, but he wanted to be worthy, he wanted to change.
After cradling her closely for some time and deciding it was far too intense, Loki took either side of her face to wipe away the tears that had started to form at the edge of her eyes. “As if I wouldn’t turn your council into a box of kittens should they decide to work against you, or said imposing suitor into a frog. Perhaps he goes missing.” She should know better. Nothing got in his way. “Remember, I’m never out of excuses. I’ll always have a way around it.”
Elsa gave him a watery smile at his declaration, not doubting for a moment that he was entirely serious. “You’re not turning any of my subjects into animals, Loki. If it comes up, we’ll deal with it then. Without magic.” And even though she’d just made the promise to try and have faith(and she really, really planned to do so), she couldn’t help feeling like she was just giving him lip service. She’d get there, though. Even if she had to pull an Anna and pretend she wasn’t as afraid until she actually wasn’t.
Beginning to get overwhelmed with the prolonged contact, she gently pulled his hands down from her face and moved off of his lap, returning to the seat next to him. She paused for a moment as she turned to face him, biting her lip as she tried to decide if she wanted to tell him what she was thinking. Eventually, she she just shook her head, laughing at herself. No fear, right?
“I can see you in Arendelle, you know.”
Yes, handling things without the use of magic was about the way that he was intending to do things. Marrowood had made that nearly an impossibility and he wondered if that was on purpose. Had it been testing his resolve, his mettle to stay away from power and handle things on his own? Loki of course thought he was doing well for himself thus far. It wasn’t as if he could snap his fingers and have everything.
“You can?” He imagined it to be along the lines of a more civilized pagan kingdom. Not far from the viking cousins that worshiped the rest of the Norse Gods, but about the same time. Anna and Elsa didn’t appear to come from a war-like civilization.
What peaked his interest most was the admission that she had considered him becoming part of her world. This was acceptance, a want, and it made the corners of his lip turn just as much as the fire danced in his chest. “Tell me about it. What you see, what you’d like to see.”
Elsa sighed thoughtfully, trying to find the best way to explain the life she’d pictured for Loki in Arendelle. It was strange, really, how being in Marrowood had altered her thinking. Sometimes, she genuinely forgot that she’d never been with him at home in the castle, preparing for another busy day. It just seemed to be the natural order of things, even though she knew how impossible that was to say. He would just fit so well into their dynamic.
Well, mostly. He would drive poor Kai insane.
“Anna hates halibut.” Elsa said, not really knowing where to begin. “Hates it. Considering our chef is quite possibly her biggest fan, that’s not normally a problem. But, since it happens to be one of Arendelle’s main exports, diplomats often request it when they come for dinner. She chokes it down, but...” She laughed to herself, lowering her head with a smile. “I can just see you sitting beside her, transforming it into steak and distracting the table so that no one else notices. Or, I don’t know - somehow assuring that there are no more halibut left in Arendelle for the dinner.
“And there’s the library,” she shifted, laying an arm on the back of the couch and then resting her head upon it, “where I sometimes will finish up work. Sometimes, it’s just like it is now - you coming and distracting me and making noise in your attempts to assure I take lunch. Other times, I can just see you sitting beside me as I work, trying to convince me to get some sleep, and then falling asleep yourself.” She sighed, keeping certain aspects of this particular musing - aspects she wasn’t quite ready to explore - to herself.
“But normally, it’s not a specific action. I can just imagine the relationship you’d have with our staff, and the people, and how much you’d like Kristoff. I can’t stop thinking about the idea of you making Sven actually talk, even if it’s just once, just to crack yourself up.” She shrugged, feeling a little silly sharing this with him. “Sometimes, I just forget that you don’t already belong there.”
There was truly no right or wrong answer he’d been looking for. The fact that Elsa was just sharing with him, openly, in a comfortable manner that meant she had pictured him in her future was enough in itself. Hearing of it in any capacity was a delight.
Not to mention completely endearing that she knew him well enough to peg down his behaviors for events that he wasn’t even yet aware of. Loki chuckled, already contemplating the devious wonders of what his new information on this halibut was going to do for him. She was very correct though, in all her assuming. Though she did give him more credit for his patience then he would.
What really got to Loki was that key word there: belong. Perhaps it was a little childish, a romantical aspiration, the rogue outsider lone wolf who had always been shunned, always seeking a place to belong. Slap whatever title to it you’d like, it had been the truth. This wasn’t silly to him.
“Well, consider me verklempt.” Loki was no Bashful Betsy but Elsa’s words had him flushing ever slightly, clever, eager smirk turning decidedly fond and sheepish. “That is possibly the most wonderful future anyone has considered to picture me in.” She had no idea how much he would love to belong there. His brother had done more than his fair share of belief, love, and attempt to include him. But Thor had his own agenda. Loki was his own person, they would always be connected, but he had his own future.
He leaned close, wanting that contact again but respecting her space and instead resting his head on the couch. “But just for future imaginings -- my falling asleep before you, before I convinced you to get to bed yourself? A precious thought.”
Elsa furrowed her brows, amused and incredulous at his assertion. “I have no idea where you picked up the strange idea that I’m unable to resist your charms when you attempt to compel me to do something, but I think you’re a bit mistaken.” she nodded. expression confident. “If I decide to stay up and work, then my decision is final.”
She latched onto his cheeky comment with both hands, feeling overwhelmed at just how touched he seemed to be by her words and not wanting to dwell too much on them at the moment. She knew that he would appreciate it - he would have never asked to hear her thoughts if he wasn’t interested in the answers - but that she seemed to have moved him so much just by sharing her silly little vision of the future was something grander than just distant appreciation. It meant something more.
"I am, after all, the queen. " She was relieved to be joking with him like this again; the previous trajectory of their conversation, while necessary, had been exhausting. "I wouldn't want you to show up and assume you're in charge."
“I’ve no plans to usurp you, Elsa. Ruling and being in charge is not for me.” He’d learned that the hard way. Several times, in several life times, realities, any which way one could. Loki didn’t want to be in charge, he wanted to be loved and seen as equal. Like any other Barney the Dinosaur saturday morning cartoon would tell you. Though were he to claim allegiance or bow to any ruler, it would be Elsa, or Thor. No other.
What he did appreciate was the return to her ability to exchange a banter in a light hearted manner, assert herself. Her feisty, more authoritative nature he found very attractive. Mostly fun.
“Your decision is final, is it?” The demigod snorted, stretching out against the back of the couch and crossing his legs in a lazy manner over the coffee table. “Much in the way that there ‘is no us’ or that you should be left alone?” No, he was never going to let her forget the very end-all be-all manner she continuously tried to conduct, especially with him, and the eventual convincing that he was annoyingly good at. It wasn’t as if she were the only person he had to charm and/or convince into a belief or trust on a regular basis. “Charming as I am, there is something to just picking you up and putting you in bed, wrapping you up in the covers like a human burrito until you give in from comfort and exhaustion. Unless of course you’re also as strong as you are confident, my queen.”
Elsa narrowed her eyes playfully, making it clear that his cheekiness wasn't cute. "A good ruler knows when a decision should be final, and when it is in everyone's best interests that she consider alternate options." Forcing others to treat every decision as dogma was precisely how regimes fell. "The ultimate decision is still hers.”
"That being said," she continued with a sigh, her expression softening significantly, "she also knows when to admit defeat." She smiled at him shyly, knowing that he would understand that she was not only referring to his admittedly impressive persuasiveness. That her feelings for him had resulted in an internal battle between her desires and her fears was hardly a secret, and she knew that, had she not conceded and allowed herself to be convinced, no amount of persuasion on this part would have made a difference. Her parents' constant battle to get her to accept physical affection and not torment herself was evidence enough of this.
She punctuated her explanation of her actions by leaning in the short distance between them and giving him a sweet, lingering kiss, and then pulling away. "I really should go."
The recitation of what was probably her culture’s rulebook on ruling or some lecture she’d heard and/or given herself was amusing, if entirely unconvincing. Elsa may have been by the book was one could possibly be but she felt very deeply and let her emotions run strong. Even if they were sometimes misleading or cruel towards herself--it wasn’t always like the books. Life, wasn’t like the books.
Her knowledge and feeling probably made her an exceptional ruler with balance. Loki couldn’t wait to see for himself.
Leaning in to savor her kiss left him pouting at her absence again, mostly to her words. “Oh, alright. If you must...Do you want me to walk you?” She’d probably say no but ‘a good boyfriend would be a gentleman and ask’ or something like that. What was the saying, always ask a lady twice?
“No. If there’s one thing I’m capable of, it’s protecting myself.” A very true statement, that worked to support her decision very well. It was also not at all indicative of what she truly wanted at that moment, but were he to walk with her, it’d likely take them another hour or two to separate. It was best to end things here.
Standing from the couch, she stretched, savoring the satisfying pop in her back as her spine went back into alignment. With a smile she truly felt, she held out her hand to him. “You may walk me to the door, though.”
Her capability wasn’t at all in question. He was just not aboard the team to separate as she was, knowing full well that it would mean more time. So he didn’t want to leave her company, was he so bad?
Loki took her hand without a moments hesitation, pushing off of the couch and curling his fingers around her smaller prehensile, giving it a gentle squeeze as he walked beside her. He’d try and sleep a little more when she left. It would do him some good, and then perhaps he would resume the tedious nature of pondering how to escape.
“I’ll be along to pester you at work and make sure you’re eating and such.” She wasn’t so bad with eating as she was with taking breaks. He could be the same way, only he didn’t require sustenance in the same way she did. “I may be doing a lot of research there anyways.”
Elsa nodded, knowing that he’d absolutely be true to his word. Sometimes, when she was working, she’d receive messages in the middle of the day that simply said ‘break time!’ He’d made it his mission to make sure she was well-nourished and rested, which was sweet, if a little annoying. She felt a little bit bad that a part of her hoped that he didn’t begin doing much of his research at the library. Not only because he’d make her stick to a semi-reasonable schedule (sometimes odd hours made her more productive. She couldn’t help it), but because he’d be a distraction; one that she’d already proven to be bad at resisting.
“I’ll see you there. I would like to warn you, though: I am not ruling out locking you in a closet if you become too distracting.” Her smile belied her grave tone as she opened the door, turning to linger in the doorway momentarily. “Try to get some actual rest tonight, okay?”
Casting her a fond smile Loki put the warning to the back of his mind, already knowing well that Elsa took her work seriously, and that he did as well. Mostly. While he would be nearby and enjoy that, if he was knee deep in research with a goal in mind then that’s where his mind would stay.
Until came lunch in which he’d need to remind her to eat. Which, he would, and have no shame in it.
“You too. Thank you for checking in on me, and the forceful suggestion of a roommate.” And for everything else, but she was likely to implode over anymore deep sentiment. Besides, she already knew the rest. “Do call if you need anything. Or you know, just because.” He gave her a playful wink and leaned against the other end of the doorframe, prepared to watch until she was gone from sight.