There's too many men, too many people WHO: Ted and Barney WHERE: Coffee Shop WHEN: Wednesday WHAT: Barney doesn't know how to deal with death or Marrowood anymore so he goes to annoy Ted because logic. WARNING: Possible cursing, ridiculousness.
In the real world there was such a thing as distraction. That was Barney's go to: distraction. When there was a problem, when there was something he didn't want to deal with, and just when Barney felt like doing something else, bam, distraction.
That just wasn't the case in Marrowood. There were no distractions from the impending doom. Nothing to make him forget that all of his friends were on edge because none of them were from the same time or all completely simpatico. And certainly nothing to take away the feeling of he and Marshall's most heinous and gruesome end. Ick.
He'd tried it all. Bars, booze, babes. His freakin' mojo was off or something here. None of his plays worked, none of his friends were in the mood for his nonsense, and these feelings that kept popping up were annoying at best. Tracy had been surprisingly awesome and while Barney legitimately enjoyed spending time with her, too much common sense and logic was starting to make him miserable.
And then it hit him: Ted Mosby. Best Friend. Duh. That's what best friends were for, right?
Things were shaky with their known exchange of Robin, denial or in d-nial, and Ted's courageous death, Barney's non-courageous death, but bros were bros. If Barney could count on Ted for anything it was that he would be Ted, and Ted was the best for distraction.
Which was why Barney had firmly placed himself inside the coffee shop and had gone ahead to swiftly order a significantly difficult cup of coffee before a) switching around the labels for his flavors, b) setting all the coffee steamers to high, c) drawing a bunch of boobs on the unused stacked cups, and last but not least d) dunking all the pens in the froth bucket.
He was only getting started. "Hurry up Mosby, it's a cup of coffee, not a bra strap."