It was fairly obvious that Hawke was always ready to fight. Kirkwall trained him well in anticipating the fight, being ready at the slightest provocation. It did lead to a lot of trouble for him though. He wouldn't deny that. Hawke was painfully self-aware sometimes.
"I chose a path of being a wanted fugitive," he said with a little laugh. "What I did with Anders was incredibly selfish." It was weakness. Hawke had lost too much, too many people who cared about him. He couldn't be the one to end Anders and take away one more person who loved him. It was all about him and no one else, no higher ideal or greater purpose.
He waved a hand, brushing away the apology like it was some sort of fly. "Respect is earned, my friend. It shouldn't be thrown around easily. I don't mind having to earn it."